#undefined arc

[jane-lynndrake-t]

(OOC title: have a baby-Tim)

Woke up crying???? Because of a dream baby????

I was holding them, and then I woke up, and my arms were empty.

Couldn’t sleep until I made this.

I feel so jittery. This is the kind of baby dream I won't stop thinking of for days.

My brain keeps wanting to ask,'Where's my baby? Where's my baby?' Then my chest and arms respond with this ridiculous ache.

[jane-lynndrake-t]

I wish my mother would have been more like you, maybe then I wouldn't have my memories of her tainted by our last encounter almost a decade ago...

- @stray-tim

Oh dear, I know the feeling, if I'm honest. I'm honored that you think highly of me.

My friends never thought I was the motherly type, and I don't know if I could be a good mother in general.

But if you want someone to listen when you want to be heard, there's space in this journal for you too.

[jane-lynndrake-t]

Why did you feed Tim shrimp even tho he was allergic😔😔😔? (/ref)

I'm not sure who you are talking about, dear. I hope your friend is alright, allergies can be quite the scary thing.

I personally don’t like shellfish all that much. The prep work isn’t my favourite.

[jane-lynndrake-t]

You seem much nicer than my universe’s Janet…

your universe… ?

[jane-lynndrake-t]

Thinking about dream-baby (I really can't keep calling him dream-baby) to distract me from the frankly horrific nightmare :)

Laughs with his whole tiny body and slumps into me to hide his giggles.

The little pout he does when he can't see something from where he is... curious tiny creachur...

Big blue-grey eyes that invite kisses to his brows.

Liddol giggles when he gets his kisses.

there isn't any universe that I wouldn’t name him after my brother <3 I love and miss you, JT.

[jane-lynndrake-t]

I'd like to ask about your brother.

<3

Jamie is my half-brother. He loved creepy crawlies and flying things.

Mom would lock me alone in a room with him to 'bond'.

And I used to really dislike him because he ignored me for weeks. After about a month, I was so frustrated that I threw his book and deliberately got him in trouble.

As payback, he would talk my ear off about owls and insects every time he saw me.

Looking back, I was lucky my brother was, well, Jamie.

It's never a good idea to lock your 8 year old daughter inside a room alone with a 15 year old boy.

[jane-lynndrake-t]

Didn't know I needed Janet giving the best advice to a bunch of people in a journal

I’ll admit that this is a very surreal experience. However, we treat our dead with care and respect in consideration of their personhood. How much more so should we do so to those around us?

I’m not entirely sure who you all are, but you are people to me.

[jane-lynndrake-t]

I'm trying to remember things about my dream-baby.

He was tiny. Like he could disappear if I wasn’t looking right at him.

When I cradled the back of his neck, he would bury his tiny little pudgy face into me.

His hair was silky and perfect for crowning him with kisses.

Squishy. Squishy little dumpling… perfectly bite sized….