Mar 28, 2020
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The dark lord wants gum
Not gonna lie this really true me off.
sabrina : WTF.....?
Bloody Funny Hell
Okay. So I'm in the library, feeling bored and kinda not-so-nice mellow-y, and decide the browse Facebook. I come across a video, and decide to watch it. There's a man cleaning a bar, and one of the stools move. I keep watching the stool move, unimpressed and thinking 'this is another hoax thing'. The man goes off screen (this is from a security camera, mind) and wverything is silent. Then this fucking Jack th Ripper Zombie horror type fucking shit face pops onto the screen with inhuman screeching! Now I should let you know that I was watching this on my phone with my headphones in and the volumes loud. I screamed "HOLY FUCK!" Really fucking loudly in a public library and threw my phone in the air from the shock of it. I have thus spent five minutes laughing at myself and I'm still smiling. Moral of this story? Sometimes your day can be made better by the most unlikely of things. And don't watch 'this is real ghosts' shit kinda videos. At least not in library's.
Me: why are you still here? It's after six, go home!
Coworker 2: what do you want to do something that you don't want her to see?
Me: *heavy sarcasm* oh, yeah! That's it.
Coworker 1: *imitating me* yeah! Get out of here! I wanna watch my porn!
Me: *almost falls down laughing*
Coworker 2: why do you think I moved my office around? I was porn-shui-ing it.
Me: *can't breathe I'm laughing so hard*
Zombie movie (PARANORMAN)
kid: anyone get bitten
other kid: i bit my tongue, does that count? (tough outstretched and talking slowly)
can we just take a second to appreciate how witty David Attenborough can be, I mean I watched 'Afrika' last night with my dad and suddenly David fucking thought-to-be-so-serious Attenborough made a joke about a leopard 'raiding its mum's larder', I litteraly screamed because of how funny I thought that was
also my father made non-human noises when an aroused rhino made sound of extase because he also thought that that was funny, and hell it was, but my dad's laughter was what made me chuffed. ehehe.