Jul 5
Anyway guess who just noticed that [major spoiler for S1 finale]
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Anyway guess who just noticed that [major spoiler for S1 finale]
You know, so many people keep banging on about what an unreliable narrator Louis de Pointe du Lac is. How much he gets wrong. How much is contradictory.
I feel compelled to remind people that we know, for a fact, that Armand has manipulated Louis’ memories previously. We have seen it. We have seen him manipulate other peoples memories.
We know that he is incredibly powerful mentally.
And we know that he has had access to Louis’s brain for 77 years.
Louis has his perception of things that differs from the Lestat, as we all have our own perception of things. If you ask 20 different people to identify what a bank robber looked like, you’re going to get 20 different answers. people have different perceptions of things, and perceptions are less and less reliable overtime.
But, is it just at all possible that some of the “unreliable narrator” bullshit attributed to Louis might not just be down to the fact that he had a different perception, but that someone else had access to his perception to mould and change it over the last 77 years?
Someone with his own perceptions of Lestat. His own perceptions of Louis. His own perceptions of Claudia. His own perceptions of himself.
I just see so many people talking about “unreliable narrator Louis” — we are all unreliable narrators. But I do not see many people talking about the fact that someone who has the ability to shift and change memories in someone’s mind has been sleeping next to Louis for the last 77 years.
Unreliable Narrator
Do not lie to me— I can do that to myself. I've rewritten my own history so many times I don't know which memories are real anymore.
Did you actually say that, Or did I imagine it to justify leaving? Was it really that bad, Or have I exaggerated it in my mind?
I gaslight myself better than you ever could. I doubt my own experiences, Question my own pain, Rewrite my story until I'm the villain. So please, don't lie to me. I'm already drowning in my own distortions.
© A Cataclysmic Thesis 2026
Respawn machines were a cost saving measure. It’s hard to justify hiring an entire army just to protect a patch of gravel. Besides who better knows to fight the enemy then someone who’s died to their tactics? I don’t know how the new machines work but back then respawning was painful, like waking up from a fever dream.
I thought I saw a soilder once, a lad of 19 maybe 20, victim of the draft. Poor thing, reminded me of Ralph when he was a teen. I saw this solider die, and he died long before that machine ever went into action. The fever had cooked his brain and sepsis made his body stop working. Maybe it was shell shock, my first failure as a doctor sprinting up after I failed as a solider. I don’t know, I remember him talking to me though- before I respawned.
I felt so cold then. I wish I could remember what he said. I wish I could apologize for letting him die.
Ill update with more if anyone has questions
Excerpts from my current short-story WIP, “Is This A Ghost Story?”
Note: TW for violence and fear, involving children & vulnerable individuals, please be cautious if you are sensitive to anything that would usually have a TW on it. I don’t want to state specifics here as it would ruin the plot & less so here in the excerpts, but the full story has dark themes. However, violence is not usually described in depth. Generally, would rate this fic for 13+ even though MC is younger.
Is This A Ghost Story (Drafting, WIP)
Day 1 Excerpt
[...]
The girl stirred and then looked at him. Amil didn’t expect to be seen.
Then she smiled, “A ghost! A real live ghost in my house!”
[...]
Day 2 Excerpts
[...]
“Come here, Ghosty Boy!”
He laughed, “Ghosty Boy?”
“That’s what I named you; you’re my ghost.” Lilly grinned as she showed him her drawing. [...]
“You know I have a name right?”
“Yes…. um what was it?”
“Amil, and you’re Lilly.”
“Okay, Ghosty Boy.” Her hand darted out to his wrist, “You’re it!” and she was tearing through the house before he could react. This was the third game of tag today. The kid sure loved running; she was probably why the living room had been in such disarray when he started haunting it.
Day 3 Excerpts
Amil smiled softly, “I was going to be a doctor… Baba was so excited. I got a scholarship for the first two years, and I was going to help people.” He glanced down. “What uh… do you want to do when you grow up?”
Lilly paused, her face scrunching up in thought, “I think I wanna be happy.” Her eyes met his. “More happy I mean. I’m happy now.” She grinned at him and laughed at the look on his face.
“What… what would make you most happy, Kiddo?” Amil’s voice was gentle. That was part of why Lilly liked this ghost; he really wasn’t scary at all.
“Maybe if I could have gone on the trip with Mommy and Pop?” He watched as she stirred her instant ramen.
“When are they supposed to be back anyhow?” Amil asked curiously.
“Um soon.”
The ghost boy leaned in a bit. “You’re really okay by yourself? How old are you, 8?”
Lilly glared at him, “I’m 10. I’m just petite. Mommy’s skinny too.”
“Maybe you’d grow if you ate something more nutritious than ramen,” She half heard him mutter, “they couldn't have left more variety for the kid?”
Lilly’s eyes widened. “Oh no, I asked for ramen. I like it. Chicken’s my favorite.”
That got a smirk from him, “You haven’t finished a bowl since we met.”
“I’m distracted,” She frowned. “It’s interesting having a ghost…”
Yet that night, when Amil checked the trash bag, it looked like the whole noodle cup was in the bin, and when he tried to think back, he couldn’t remember having seen a single bite reach Lilly’s mouth during their whole conversation.
Day 4 Excerpts
“Where did your parents actually go, Lil?” Amil was sitting on the far arm of the couch as they watched cartoons.
“The trip?” Lilly glanced up.
“But where? Where to?” He seemed more focused on her words this morning.
“Umm Hawaii, I think. I told Mommy we should do Hawaii."
“You should? But you didn’t go with them?”
“No… She just asked me. I said we- they should go to Hawaii."
“Hm”
“Y-yeah,” She had that wide-eyed look from yesterday, tense Amil thought.
“So they went to Hawaii without you? Why?”
A pause. “... It was a surprise. Mommy said it was a special surprise trip. I wasn’t s'posed to tell beforehand…”
Why was Amil looking at her? He looked sad. He wasn’t supposed to be sad.
Lilly smiled at him, “It’s a very nice trip surprise. I just was supposed to be quiet so she could pack our- her suitcase before Pop got back so he wouldn’t know.”
“And then… Surprise!"
Why did Amil flinch at her louder voice? She didn’t like it when people flinched. They weren’t supposed to move like that. It was just a loud noise. There were plenty of loud noises; they weren’t scary, just like having a ghost boy here wasn’t scary.
“Then what?” Amil asked in a low voice.
“Then…” Lilly cocked her head to the side a bit. “Then… Pop came home… and Mommy said to go out of the kitchen ‘cause it was a surprise and… and he yelled at her.”
Confusion passed over the girl’s face. “Why did he yell? He was gonna go with us-” She shook her head slightly “with her I mean. I wasn’t going.”
Lily’s nail snagged on her sleeve, and she stopped fidgeting with it, holding her hands very still in her lap.
“And... he was yelling, they were fighting. I don’t like when they f-fight.”
Amil had moved over to her side of the couch at some point during the questions, and he pulled her over with one arm to stop the trembling that had started as she talked. Lilly's volume lowered now that he was close enough to hear.
“Mommy said to go. I was supposed to go. I was bad. I don’t remember. I don’t wanna... She- we were supposed to go on a trip, before he got back... Just my backpack and I was supposed to be quiet. It-it was just gonna be a little trip. We’d come back. She was just joking.”
Amil's warm brown eyes met hers when she looked up this time, but she could barely see them. Why was she crying?
“My head hurts… It hurts a lot. I think I can’t remember ‘cause I hit my head. Pop… Pop hit my head and then I couldn’t remember and they all went away... and Mommy got to go on the trip by herself when he went with the police cars, but-but I’m still here. Why am I still here Ghosty Boy..?”
“Why are you here, Ghosty Girl?” He whispered the question back to her. It sounded like Amil was crying too.
Day 5 Excerpts
[...]
You're making me see the rot on a moment I thought was golden.
Lisa Taddeo, from Animal
You ever feel really dumb? I've had shoulder pain for years, leading to tension headaches that nothing but a massage can touch. I finally went to a shoulder specialist 3 months ago, did a month of supervised physical therapy, 2 more months of doing the exercises at home, and it got a little better but I'm still not where I want to be. The doctor gave me a cortisone shot and a referral to a neck/back specialist. I came home and told Noah and he said he said that months ago, that it was my neck and back. My memory is probably lying, but I swear he told me to focus on the shoulder pain. I'd asked bc my shoulder, upper back, and neck are all a mess, and like I said, I swear I remember him saying go to a shoulder guy.
What probably happened is that he said "it's your traps" and I classified that as "shoulder" instead of "back" because I don't know musculature. I feel like a total, complete dumbass.
And I hate that I can't trust my own memory. This has happened before, my brain hears one thing and then translates it to a simpler term that's similar, but not quite right. Or I take "maybe I will" or "I'd like to" and change it to "I'm going to" in my head, and then I disappointed when the person who only said "maybe" doesn't follow through. My brain is actively working against me and setting me up for disappointment. I'm working on it in therapy but some days/weeks are hard.
Ugh. This week I've had a dentist stab my inflamed gum, had an uninvolved person walk in unannounced during a medical procedure I was having while I was in a state of partial undress, and today I find out I basically wasted 3 months and a fair amount of money on physical therapy for the wrong body part.
I try to remember. I can't remember. So much has disappeared from the past or appears altered to me now. Remembering is like dreaming unless it was yesterday.
Siri Hustvedt, from The Blazing World
