I think you got the wrong idea on where I’m coming from on my reblog on your post.
To be clear: I fucking LOVE Tommy. I love Buck and Tommy. I love this story, I’m obsessed with them.
I don’t think Buck has any romantic feelings for Eddie either.
But I also don’t think Buck had the tools to make that evaluation until Tommy kissed him.
Yes, he wanted Tommy’s attention, but he literally only figured that part out about ten seconds before Tommy kissed him (“yeah, I guess so”). I don’t think he even realized WHY he wanted Tommy’s attention so much- only that he did.
The Kiss (tm) is the line in the sand/lightbulb moment for him. He has spent so much time trying to live up to everyone’s picture of what he SHOULD be that he has not evaluated how HE feels about his sexuality.
It’s easy for him to identify romantic/sexual attraction to women because it’s what’s expected of him. But go back to his conversation with Maddie- “sure, I’ll check out a hot guy’s ass, but that’s normal” (unsaid: for a straight guy)
Buck absolutely does not understand his own sexuality before Tommy kisses him because he never thought he needed to. It’s not part of the “perfect son, perfect brother, perfect friend, perfect firefighter” visions he’s trying to become.
I’m not saying he IS in love with Eddie. I’m saying it’s not something he would have even entertained before. Now that he has had that part of his self blown wide open, he has the tools to evaluate platonic vs romantic, and his feelings for Eddie are platonic.
Thank you for coming back to clarify. In your reblog, the way you worded it sounded like you thought Buck wasn't smart enough to know who he was interested in, and I'll admit I reacted harshly to that. I love Buck and I hate the way it's become a common fanon theme to make him appear stupid or slow, especially in regards to this plotline.
Personally, I don't think an evaluation of how Buck feels for Eddie was ever even on the table.
He knows how he feels about Eddie already; that's his best friend, his brother, his family. He loves Eddie, sure, just like he loves Hen and Chimney and Bobby. He knows that and he's settled with that. I dont think there would be reason for him to evaluate the type of love he feels for Eddie because he's already done it.
@unfuckablebogtroll mentioned in a reblog to that same post that if Tommy hadn't come around that night, if he'd come over a few days later, Buck likely would've figured out his bisexuality alone, and I agree. I think that Buck was already on his way there during that conversation, actually even before the line about getting Tommy's attention, now that I'm thinking about it more critically. He was flirting heavily already by the time they got to the "mouth static" line. And Buck is a curious guy by nature, he loves to research and learn new things. I don't think this would be any different.
I dont think this would've been something he would've brushed off either. It would nag at him too much. He wanted to be around Tommy, he wanted to get to know Tommy, he wanted to be invited to hang out with Tommy, that's the pattern all throughout that episode. I genuinely do believe that Buck would've eventually figured it out by himself, it just would've taken a lot longer.
Tommy just... sped up the process by taking the risk and kissing him.
