Why I'm traveling to a different African country every month in 2023.
I was on the phone with a friend recently, and he asked me what sparked my interest in traveling throughout the continent of Africa. It’s funny that he asked me that, becasue I’d asked myself the same question just weeks ago. I shuffled through a catalogue of memories and landed on the one that I believe spurred my curiosity. I was a college student when I met someone who would become an important part of my life, his name was Akin. Akin was Nigerian and he got my attention in the dining hall of my college when he asked me if I’d ever eaten Nigerian food. I quickly answered “No I haven’t”, honestly I’d never even been curious about Nigerian food, or any kind of African food for that matter. He offered to take me to a party where Nigerian food would be served, I thought it might be something cool and different we exchanged numbers and that decision would change the course of my life. Fast forward two years later and I was pregnant, Akin was battling federal drug charges, and, the very real possibility that he could be imprisoned for the next 15 years. I was a Black unemployed college student living on the southside of Chicago. I felt as though every negative stereotype attributed to Black unwed mothers living in the inner city applied to me and I was ashamed of it. I was raised in a legalistic Christian home, where pants, nail polish and secular music (among other things) were forbidden, so being an unwed mother was especially shameful for me. I wanted to die, or at least disappear, but instead of disappearing I grew, with every month that passed I got bigger and bigger, I would be a mother in a few short months.
One day while visiting Akin at his home he and his sisters began talking about African Americans. While I don’t remember everything that was said by everyone during that particular interaction, one thing that Akin said while laughing will stay with me forever, he said that Nigerians had only sold the “dumb ones” into slavery. His siblings didn’t take issue with his comment, and I was completely dumfounded. I felt hurt, angry and completely disrespected. For the past two years I’d been excited to learn about Nigerian culture, I adopted customs foreign to me, traditions that included me kneeling to any number of his family members. I tried to learn words in his mother tongue, Youruba. Did he not understand that his entire family was benefitting from hard fought liberties people that he jokingly referred to as “dumb” died for. I was so hurt that I went numb, and couldnt find the words to express my disappointment at the deep level of ignorance and arrogance I’d witnessed. That day was a turning point for me. Since that painful conversation, and various others I my circle of friends from the African continent has grown. My friends from the continent have expressed the hurt they’ve felt being on the receiving end of ridicule because of their African names, or because of their accents. I have African friends who have shared with me the deep level of ignorance African-Americans (among other Americans) have expressed to them including thinking that African people live among wild animals and are unclothed. I can’t imagine how disappointing it must be for our African brothers and sisters to travel so far only to be received by African Americans ignorant of the rich cultures they are a product of. Africans people throughout the diaspora have harmful preconconceived notions about one another and I’ve always wanted to create a space where we could better understand one another.
In the coming months Akin was found guilty on all charges, and was sentenced to six years in federal prison of which he would serve five. After satisfying his prison sentence he would be deported to his home country, Nigeria. I went into early labor due to stress and gave birth to my daughter Nyomi a few days after the guilty verdict was handed down. During my pregnancy I made three promises to myself. The first was that, I’d finish college, the second, was that I wouldn’t use the birth of my child as an excuse to not pursue my dreams, and the third was that I would not judge all people based upon the comments made by a few.
This year I have a lofty goal to visit one African country per month; the purpose of this is to experience Africa's beauty and connect with people, learn about various African cultures, and maybe even myself on a deeper level. I hope you’ll join me on my journey of discovery by following my blog and my Instagram page @thescattered1526.
