#usuiba

[mentally-eel-moray]

i keep finding funny shit i made a while back, why was i so much funnier, like, this is hilarious

[mentally-eel-moray]

i wanna talk bout usu soooo....

I really like the way Usu n Iba have self image issues n how that messes with how they are with other people, but also how that makes them parallel eachother

Usu believes he is the bringer of all evil on other's lives, that by being near him, people will suffer enormous tragedies, all in the universe's effort to make him suffer, because he *knows* he loves too much n that that love brings him pain most times. that is what happened with his family, with Valk, with Aluka n what he wished not to happen with Nagi n Iba. So he isolates. he acts in this selflessness, putting other's safety n well being above his feelings, bc he rather people hate him and take their distance, than love him n try to be close only to suffer from his tragedies.

meanwhile Iba? She believes the world is injust with her. that she is nothing more than what she achieves, because other's company in any true meaningful way are only bound to cause her pain. That whenever she gets close, something bad happens to HER. and so it is just not useful to be close. and besides, she hates herself. she believes that she has to claw her way to the top because never, in a million years, woudl genuine nice things happen to her in any other way. If not for a master plan, a deceitful tactic that leads he to the top through sheer effort and malice, then she will never achieve the top. she was shown time and time again that she is a lowlife, and so why not accept that and use that to her advantage? So she schemes, and manipulates, and deceits, and plans against others. Because there is no use of considering everyone's feelings when not in relation to what she will gain from it, what she will achieve from it. Why be close to someone if she has nothing to gain? if she is only there being nice, and ends up being used and tossed aside like time and time again life prooved that would do to her?

in the end, Usu n Iba have complicated relationships with how they see themselves and, consequently, how they interact with others.

One doesn't want to hurt, the other doesn't see a point but to hurt. One is afraid of how others care about them, and the other couldn't care less as long as their goal is achieved. One is selfless by experience, and the other, selfish by experience.

and like, even as a couple, they learn to change in some aspects, but also they do not change everything to "fix" the issue. and not only that, there is a lot of active conflict of them not meeting eye to eye, because they just have such opposite beliefs.

i dunno, i just think that, to love someone, is not to change them to fit yourself, but to change together to be better in general, and, even if that doesn't happen, is to accept that you ARE different, and that you can love eachother regardless of that

Ibara does end up loving Usu. Usu is passionate and assertive about his beliefs, even if that throws people off or drive them away outside of his forced isolation. He has faith in non material forces. but also he is empathetic to a fault. he cares too much, and worries too much. and even if that is not something Ibara wishes for herself, she can appreciate how that influences how he acts not only with her, but with nagi too.

Usu does love Iba, a lot. he learns to through trial and error really. Ibara is determined, she may use scummy tactics, but she is also persistent as fuck on what she believes she must do to achieve her goals. Iba is smart, way smarter than many, but she knows when to use those smarts and when not. Iba is not afraid to hurt others if that is what needs to proceed, and she is also very logical compared to Usu's very emotional being. He loves that she can bring the reason that he n Nagi lack sometimes, either from lack of experience or from (in usu's case) a lack of guts to impose himself outside of extremes.

i think that as Usu n Iba grow old, they don't actively change that much, but learn how to circumvent the other going *too far* on their own ways to a detrimental level.

And also... i think they don't push eachother too far out of their comfort zone.

Ibara is not pushing Usu to be selfish aroudn everyone, but to be selfish around those that *matter* even if that ends up with them being hurt. something that i always thought she would say to him is "tch. why do you think you have so much power to decide others fates for them? and besides, why do you assume being away is what will hurt less for them?" (which yeah is a tad scummy if u consider usu does everything he can to NOT hurt others, to AVOID hurting others as much as possible, but it is what makes it go through his head)

meanwhile, Usu will not push Ibara to be buddy buddy with just about everyone, but will push her to also have a tad of consideration not for the ends, but the means. "Do you really think that the way of manipulation will be the most cost effective?" or something along those lines

and this doesn't work everytime, but it kinda pushes them to think a bit the way the other thinks.

[mentally-eel-moray]

thinking about usuibanagi recently, they've been the subject of my head fanfics before going to sleep

so i drew this of them, just their body n height comparisons (IDC if it is not super accurate to their actual heights this was for funsies)

also uhm uhm... since i've been fixated on them kinda a bit sorta, i thought of drawing like... them eeping together? maybe?

cuz i have the vivid image of Nagi being a very heavy sleeper, n he will hold Iba n Usu each to his side, one on top of each of his arms, n he will sleep holding them like that. But then, like, Ibara n Usu r VERY light sleepers, each for their own reasons (more often than not related to childhood trauma) n even when they do wake up in the middle of the night, they can't do shit bc Nagi is too strong for his own good.

But this is actually good, cuz when Ibara n Usu r very sleepy, just waking up in the middle of the night cuz of anything really, they get the sweetest n most sincere conversations they will have. Sometimes Ibara will let Usu cling to her too, to feel safe, after really bad nightmares. Other times, Usu will play with Iba's hair for her to calm down, etc etc.

Also they all kiss before sleeping <3 bc yes <3 I like kissie kisses <3

THEY MAKE ME SIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKK

[mentally-eel-moray]

i need them to explode

[mentally-eel-moray]

on an unrelated note to this, a while back i saw @/anbaisai TWST otaku jamimayu au n in my great mind i thought "okay but what if enstars? what if Usuibanagi?"

and the image was clear to me:

Nagi would get into whatever game this is via Jun showing him it, and then Nagi and Jun tagteam to getting all of Eden playing. Nagi shows the game to Ibara and she plays a bit to make him happy and what have you, but she ended up invested on the themes of Usu's character. But she is "too busy" to play games, she has a company to run. And then Nagi gets game brainrot and starts yume-ing Usu, and using part of his earnings to get merch and Ibara now *totally* has to get into it now. For His Excellency, ofc.

Anyway, Ibara steals Nagi's Usu plushies sometimes without him looking bc she got too deep into it, and she will always make sure to say to the rest of the dorm that it was *totally* Nagi forgetting it at the dorm, nothing more.

and thus this doodle was born

the frilly PJs are just the PJs i give Ibara, do not get caught up on that. Anyway Usu is helping her with the dailies and after that he shall be helping her check her stocks

[mentally-eel-moray]

i be talking about the symbolism i put behind usu n iba's relationship, how complicated they started, how toxic they can be wiht eachother only to have to suck up their pride and apologize because deep down they do care

and then i make shit like this

[mentally-eel-moray]

no one cares + it's 2 am but i need to get more insane on main abt usuiba again

the parallels that i so carefully crafted...

[mentally-eel-moray]

Usuiba Ragebaiter x Ragebaited