#vaguely lemony

[fruit-teeth]

Scout: yeah we had sex but it wasn’t that great because I had cheesecake in the car and I couldn’t stop thinking about it

Scout: he was all like ‘what do you want’ like trying to be sexy and stuff and I was like ‘I want my freakin cheesecake’

[pipermca]

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Jazz/Prowl

Tags: Slave Trade, Slave coding, Forced Exhibitionism, Forced Orgasm, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Tumblr Prompt, Prompt Fill

Summary: While investigating a suspected trafficking ring, Prowl discovers that things are even worse than the Enforcers had originally thought.

This is the finished version of the fic I wrote for the @tfspeedwriting challenge in October!

[ringmaster-jack]

🤔

"I wonder if I'll still be hot when I'm old. If I make it there I'm gonna be one of those sauve sophisticated old geezers, like that Swain guy. Mm. I'd let that man do things to me."

[thelordgreen]

FAKE DATING AU FOR THE MURDER GIRLFRIENDS!!! Or bed sharing!! Just give me Murder Girlfriends please 😭

Bellatrix is a Cop, Alecto is Defense Lawyer AU, and there’s only one bed ;)

Rating: MRelationship: F/FPairing: Alecto Carrow/Bellatrix Black Lestrange (ie: Alectrix, ie: Murder Girlfriends)

Readmore under the first paragraph.

Cops *do not* date defense lawyers. Besides, thinks Bellatrix,just because this particular defense lawyer is hot and effective and efficientdoesn’t mean Bellatrix wants her! She just has eyes, is all. And admires good work.Even if that work results in the fucking perpetrator walking free dammit. Andshe absolutely is not privately in love with this defense lawyer. She isglaring at Alecto as she walks out the court room, not staring. Glaring, goddammit.

And then of course, because the universe hates here, right as they all begin to walk out of the courtroom there is a bomb threat. And now everyone hasto stay in a hotel, until the investigation is over. And what do you fuckingknow. She’s the only female detective and Alecto is the only female lawyer soof course they get put into a room together. The last available room. The onethat only has one queen sized bed. Because the universe didn’t think it had madeit clear enough to Bellatrix how much it hated her.

But hey, Bellatrix knows how to roll with the punches(literally), and she certainly isn’t freaking out about having to share thehotel room bed because there is no fucking couch for either of them to take. Andno matter how much she hates lawyers, Bellatrix is not going to sleep on thattiny fucking office chair, no sir.

Instead she sprawls on the bed making sure there isabsolutely no room for Alecto, already savoring the epic fight they are sureto have. But instead of greeting Alecto with the barbed comment has ready, sheis woken up by Alecto in a gray nightshirt shoving her, saying, “Hey, we haveto share the frickin bed. That means you do not get to hog all of it bysleeping spread eagled in the frickin middle.”

“Wow didn’t know lawyers weren’t allowed to cuss. Don’t a dirty mouth, sweetheart?”

“I’m not your fucking sweetheart. Now fucking move.”

“Yeah, make me?” (Bellatrix is still half asleep okay. Thisis the best she can do.)

“What are you, five?”

“I sure hope not, or this sexual tension would be awkward asfuck.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. She did not mean to say that. She did notmean to say that. Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck. She’s so busy saying fuck she entirely misses whatever Alecto says in response until-

“-and I’m honestly sick of you eye-fucking me every time we’rein the same room and are you even listening?”

“What?”

That’s all she manages to get out before Alecto smacks herin the face with a pillow. Bellatrix of course has to retaliate and soon they’rein an epic pillow fight five-year old’s can only dream of. And then they runout of pillows, so hand to hand fight it is.

And then. Mouth fighting? Wait no this is kissing. They’rekissing. Oh this is more than kissing. Bellatrix might be in heaven. Nopescratch that, Bellatrix is absolutely in heaven, she’s floating so high she swearsshe’s in fucking space and frankly she’s wondering what kind of ring Alectowould like as she falls asleep.

She’s woken up the next morning with yet another pillow to theface.

They’re both still naked.

“Um. That was great.” They both say it at the same time.

“Uh, wanna have dinner?” Again, at the same time.

“So, I guess this is happening?” says Bellatrix.

“I guess so,” replies Alecto.

“Um. Can I kiss you again. And you know. Maybe other stuff?”

“You’ll say fuck but you won’t say ‘hey can I eat you out,hunh?” Alecto laughs.

“Well, can I?”

“Ask politely.”

“Alecto, can I eat you out?”

“You damn well fucking can.”

Bellatrix does.

[fruit-teeth]

Medic: are you sexually active?

Spy: yes

Medic: hm...gross

[fruit-teeth]

Scout: so we went bowling and we got done he said he wanted some cake

Scout: so I got him a coconut cake

Scout: but then we went back he said that’s not what he meant by sayin he wanted cake....

Scout:

Scout: he wanted my ass

[fruit-teeth]

Scout: fuck off

Sniper: stop that. Do you need a hug?

Scout: no

Sniper: how about a massage

Scout:...no

Sniper: how about a kiss

Scout: wAIT what the fuck

Sniper: or I can suck you off

Scout:

Scout: yeah I’m down for that

[fruit-teeth]

Weirdly shaped cactus: *exists*

Soldier: hehe

Soldier: looks like a...

Soldier: um

Soldier: looks like a p....

Scout: keep goin

Soldier: looks like a paenis???

Scout: almost got it buddy

Soldier:

Soldier: looks like a penis

Scout: there ya go!!!!