Idk abt yall, but if I spent MONTHS searching for my "best friend" (gay lover), found out he was ALIVE the whole time, and then DIED before I got to see him, I would be so incredibly pissed off.
Summary: Jason struggles with coming to terms with he sexuality and Leo's along for the ride
“And I tried to hide the feeling, but it just won't go away.”- Conan Gray
“You’d have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.”- Chappelle Roan
“You said “we're not together”, so now when we kiss I have anger issues.”- Chappelle
Jason let out a low groan as he watched Leo walk away from him. The black haired boy’s shoulders were tense with one hand balled into a fist and the other fidgeting with a bolt. Irritation practically radiated off of him, maybe it really was, because Jason knew all too well that Leo’s body heats up when he’s emotional. Happy, angry, excited… essentially all the emotions that were reserved for Jason.
“He’s just overreacting.” Jason mumbled to himself as he forced his legs to carry him to the Zeus cabin. It’s not his fault that the campers wouldn’t take this well. Why does Leo even need everyone to know? All he should need is him. He shouldn’t be getting mad at Jason for wanting to be private. It’s his own choice. And why does Leo want it to be official? It’s not like he’s going off to see other people behind Leo’s back. All those thoughts ran through Jason’s head before he flopped into his bunk in the cold unwelcoming cabin.
Gods, he hates this place. If he hadn’t pissed Leo off he could be in a much warmer and welcoming environment, the cabin that didn’t feel so foreign and wasn't so damn quiet. The lack of noise made him think more, which is the last thing he wanted to do. He knows his options are to either go apologize to his bo-... best friend or he can lay here and try to sleep to get his mind to shut the hell up. He knows what he should do, but there’s also only so much his pride will let him do. So he lays there, for hours.
Across camp, in bunker 9, Leo is fuming. Literally. Like, his sheets are smoldering. But he couldn’t give less of a shit. Festus’ large bronze form lays curled up on the floor, glancing up at Leo with a concerned look. “Don’t look at me like that.” He grumbles, to which the dragon gives a large sigh while blowing smoke out through his nose.
“I can’t believe this! Like, him telling everyone that he’s single is the last thing I’m gonna take.” Festus gives a sceptical look, having heard this all at least twice before.
“Yeah, yeah. I know, I should believe it because he does it every time. And yeah, I’m gonna go back to him.” His calloused hands move to cover his face as silent, hot tears streaming down his face accompanied with a heavy sigh.
“He still says he doesn't even like boys.” He whispers almost inaudibly. Leo hated to admit that Jason wouldn't admit it. Yes, he understands Jason is the son of Jupiter and supposed to be the golden boy, but shouldn’t he be worth more than anyone's opinion? All Leo wanted was to hold his hand. Not even his whole hand. Just link pinkys, really. And he had the audacity to smack his hand away.
Leo manages to chuckle and bring his hands down from his tear streaked face.
“He definitely seemed like he really liked boys last night.” He jokes weakly, referencing how Jason had snuck off to bunker 9 last night and held Leo while they watched a movie. In that moment, everything had seemed amazing. Leo vividly remembers thinking about how he couldn’t ask for anything better, almost like he jinxed himself.
“The great Leo Valdez fucks it up again.” He mutters in misery. The feeling of Festus’s metal skin nuzzling his arm breaks his misery temporarily, just long enough to let Leo drift off in a sleep that’s destined to be short lived.
“I dated Piper, I can’t be gay!” Pleads Jason, who had drug himself out of his bed at an unholy hour to go present his problems to Percy. Percy grabs his pillow and screams into it, absolutely over this roundabout conversation.
“Look, Jason, you may not be gay.” The son of Poseidon manages to say with carefully controlled calm that’s hanging by a frayed string. “However, you’re definitely not straight. Making out with your best friend multiple times is not straight.”
“But-” Percy throws his pillow at his friend, not willing to hear anymore of it.
“But nothing. You’re not straight and you’re in love with Leo. Not a great choice, but that’s obviously what's going on.” He demands as he stands up and yawns, stretching his back muscles. “What do I do about it?” The other reluctantly grumbles into the pillow that was thrown at him, that he’s now holding like a lifeline. Percy throws his hands up in defeat.
“Look, I just go to Annabeth, beg for forgiveness and hope she’s in a good mood.” “For some reason I don’t think that’ll work for Leo and I.” Jason protests, sounding slightly irritated. The other rolls his eyes, starting to pace the floor of the cabin.“Why’s that?” He grumbles back, rubbing his temples with his index and middle fingers.
“Becasuse I screwed up too bad, Leo’s too difficult, and…” The blond trails off, realizing he’s just making excuses. Right here, sitting on Percy’s bed with his glasses skewed as he hugs a pillow that’s not even his, is the most vulnerable he’s ever felt. Has he ever even told someone about these feelings? He doesn't remember the answer but he’s pretty sure it’s no. Has he liked other boys before and forgotten it? Maybe, but something tells him he’s never liked a boy like he likes Leo. But who wouldn’t be in love with Leo? He’s funny, he’s smart, he’s kind, his eyes are gorgeous, his hair is charmingly messy, he’s got a great- Jason’s thoughts are abruptly cut off by Percy’s voice cutting through.
“Dude, were you even listening?” Jason looks up with a deer in the headlight’s look and a flushed face. He gives a weak shake of his head, looking apologetic. Percy rolls his eyes again, groaning for the umpteenth time. “I said, you’re just making excuses.” The other looks away, embarrassment taking hold again as he replies. “I just can’t let people know, I’d disappoint everyone.”
“Ok, I know Leo’s a little… over the top. But no one’s going to think that badly of you for liking him. Personally, you could date better guys than him, but that’s not my place to say.” Percy explains, fully confident that this is what Jason meant. Jason finally looks up, looking more shocked than he has all night. His lip curls up in a look of sheer confusion, making the scar on his lip stretch at a strange angle.
“You think I’m worried because I like Leo?” “I mean, I’m worried for you. Why else would you worry about what other people think?” Percy responds with a shrug, sitting back down on the bed again. “Bro, Leo’s amazing, I don’t care what anyone thinks of him. I’m worried because that means I’m gay.”Percy makes a quiet, “oh” sound as he processes this. “See, I just thought that you were on the whole “I can't be gay” thing because you were confused with liking both. I thought it was the specific guy that’s the problem.” Jason sits quietly, waiting for Percy to reprocess the problem at hand. After several moments of silence, Percy finally speaks again. “Dude, we’re Greek. We’re all gay.” His green eyes search Jason’s face as if he’s trying to find signs of insanity. Jason takes his glasses off, his eyes bloodshot. “I don’t know, it just feels so wrong.” Rain starts to patter on the roof, almost like it’s responding to Jason’s turmoil. The silence in the room falls over them, both at a loss for words. Jason stands up, glasses in hand. “Thanks, Perc.” He mumbles as he walks out the door, heading to his cabin.
He steps out, his bare feet touching the damp earth as the rain wets his hair. He closes his eyes and looks up, the rain soothing him softly. It’s like a small, uncommon gift from Jupiter. Against his better judgement, he makes his way across camp. He lets his feet instinctively carry him to the door of bunker 9. He takes a deep breath and knocks. His body continues getting soaked by the rain as he waits for his Leo to open the door.
Leo swears in Spanish as he sits up in bed, hearing a knock at the door. “I was just starting to sleep good.” He complains as he gets up, pulling on a t-shirt over his sweatpants. He massages his fist into his eyes as he walks to the door. He swings it open, not even bothering to check who it is because he has horrible self preservation skills.
“Whaddya want?” He grumbles, still looking at the floor. “Leo, I…” Jason immediately trails off, feeling incredibly guilty as he looks down at Leo in all his messy haired and sleepy eyed glory. When he hears his voice, he looks up. The last thing Leo needed to see is Jason standing at his door in the middle of the night, shirtless, soaking wet, and with those big sad blue eyes. Fuck it’s hard to be mad at him when he looks like this. “I don’t want to hear it.” Leo says with much less venom than intended. “I just want to apologize, please, I know how I acted was wrong.” Jason pleas, wanting more than anything for them to make up this instant.
“I don’t want to hear it.” He repeats with a bit more firmness, forcing himself to focus on Jason’s nose to allow himself to remain as angry as he should be.“It’s the same every time, you apologize and then do the same things again. I’m done. I need better.” His voice cracks as he says that, turning his back and shutting the door so he doesn't let Jason convince him that it’s all alright. He knows it’s not. He has to protect him for once, but Gods does it hurt. He wraps himself in his blanket, crying quietly once again. On the other side of the door, there’s a lump in Jason’s throat that won’t go away.
The next morning, Leo sits at the Hephaestus cabin table picking at his food. The atmosphere is buzzing with excitement but Leo can't seem to chime in.
Jason basicly sprints towards him, pulling him up from the table. Leo looks at him with disbelief.
"Let go of me!" Leo demands, hurt is etched across his face with a grudge he can't quite hold back. But Jason doesn't let him go. He set his mind to this, today's the day. He won't get scared.
He takes a deep breath before yelling to everyone.
"Hey, I have an announcement!" He calls in a voice that demands attention. The camp slowly falls quiet as they turn to look at Jason and Leo. Jason's hand moves from Leo's arm to his waist while the other hand cups his cheek.
"I'm so sorry, let me fix this." Is the last thing the mechanic hears before the golden boy's lips are on his. In front of everyone, for once Jason isn't holding back.
A few people cheer, a few whistle, and there's mostly a chorus of "aww." But no one thinks less of the son of Jupiter, and his boyfriend definitely thinks a whole lot more of him.
