Writing Challenge Weekend
@thedissonantverses has come up with a really fun writing challenge for this weekend (from this post):
Take a scene you've already written and flip it to another character's POV in the same scene! This can be another main character or a secondary or tertiary character! The goal here is just to highlight what is different or the same about the exact same moment from different perspectives and more importantly, show you the writer where you can make your POV's stand out from each other! My example under the cut!
I choose to rewrite Persuaded, where Goldanna lets Varel accompany her on a walk, from Varel's perspective.
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Goldanna was just outside her family’s small house when Varel saw her. She was settling a cream coloured bonnet over the bright red hair that she’d left to fall over her shoulders. Since her arrival several months ago, he hadn’t seen her in much more than a plain dress and apron. Her hair was usually pulled back and confined in a net to keep it out of the way as she worked, and he’d begun to wish he could see it loose.
Damned wishes. He was too old for this, or too settled in his ways, or too occupied with work, but he didn’t turn or stop his approach. And when she noticed him approaching and smiled at him, even if it was just the barest offering of a smile, he forgot that he was too much of one thing or another.
“Ser Varel, a fine day to be out in the yard, isn’t it?”
“Yes, yes it is!” He returned her smile. “A pleasure to have the rain finally done with.”
“It surely is. I’ll be glad of the chance to get caught up on work. Just mean to have a quick walk outside the walls before I start.” She nodded towards the gate.
There, a trade of ridiculous pleasantries. That, when talking with Goldanna, who could be blunt at best and as prickly as a hedgehog when she was in a mood, was a splendid beginning.
“Oh, yes. Well.” Varel glanced at the gate. “Rue mentioned you’d planned that. I rather hoped —”
“Oh no, I’m having my walk, Ser. I understand there’s work to do, but I’ve an hour before Rue needs me at the laundry.”
“I understand that, I do, I simply wanted —”
“And I wanted to have a walk.” Goldanna’s smile disappeared. Just like that, he’d managed to summon the hedgehog. If he hadn’t seen her laugh with Rue or light up when she saw her younger children, he’d never have entertained any wishes to begin with. “I promise you, Ser Varel,” she continued, “as soon as I get back I’ll once again shackle myself to the washing tubs, but it’s been three days of rain while I kept myself in that damn laundry scrubbing every piece of cloth your people brought to me. I’ve earned a walk.”
Goldanna began to turn away and Varel threw up his hands in frustration. “Please! I understand that! I’ve no intention of stopping you.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Isn’t that exactly what you’ve been doing?”
“It’s exactly what I’ve been trying not to do.” He closed his eyes and took a breath to stem the tide of frustration. He remembered the story Rue had told of how her mother had guided her family through a darkspawn invasion and the devastation afterwards. He thought of how the hard mask would slip from her face when she saw those she cared for. He thought of her bright red hair. He opened his eyes again and offered his arm to her. “I only meant to ask if I might accompany you. For me, it’s been three days of being shut in an office reading through stacks of papers. I can’t think of a more fitting way to enjoy the end of that than spending a bit of time enjoying this day in your company.”
Goldanna looked down at his arm as if he’d just pulled a rabbit from his sleeve and then… she took it. For just a moment, Varel thought she looked as if she couldn’t quite believe what she’d done. “Fine. You can come along. Just know that I’ve no intention of hurrying back.”
“Of course. I don’t think I could hurry you if I tried.” Indeed, if he could manage to spend most of the morning with the lovely weight of her arm in his, then he’d consider this day a brilliant success.
