ALIEN!GOJO abducts a human whom he's developed a pathetically fat crush on. You don't mind letting the six-eyed freak have a crack at the human pussy he's been so curious about — and truly, his dick is out of this woooooorld!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ──── wc; 4k
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ──── tagz; ADULT content intended for 18+ viewers (MDNI), smut smut smut, crack, fluff, Sukuna, alien abduction, alien fucking, double/big dick Gojo, double penetration, dumbification, size difference, degradation & praise, experimentation (he's curious how many times he can make you cum on toys), multiple orgasms, cunnilingus, fingering, slight breeding kink, toys usage, name-calling, pet names, he's very silly, he cries a little at the end because he doesn't wanna return you to earth but Sukuna is like PUT HUMAN BACK. NOW.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤMORE ME!
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO has been dying to try human pussy for a while now. He needs to know what it’s like, to feel something different gripping his cock. So he bought himself a ‘human-like’ fleshlight somewhere in Andromeda (totally a knock-off btw) — and he finds out quickly that it’s wayyy too fucking small to fit on his cock. Whatever, he tries to squeeze every fat inch in anyways, stretching it wiiide open, stuck on the delicious idea that this is a close replica to a real pussy. Such a pity that his upper cock droops so lonely over it, precum pearling off the bulbous head, while his thicker lower cock gets to feel the tight squeeze of the fleshlight around its pulsing girth. “Too tight.” he grunts to himself, glaring down at the place where he’s slipping in and out of. He tuts in annoyance when his cock keeps slipping out on each hefty drawback — so he gets rougher with it, pins it down and tries really hard to keep his cock inside.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO whose cock is simply too fucking big to fuck the human pussy fleshlight; it keeps slipping out when he hits the stroke wrong. “Fuck, nn, wowww — is human pussy really this tight? There’s no way... fffuck! So annoying... can’t even stay inside for long...” and out pops his swollen cock from the tight fleshlight yet again, so he growls and shoves it back in with one hard, base-to-fucking-tip thrust. Glutes flexing as he repeats the feverish motions of rolling his hips, drawing back, and fucking the tiny pouch full of his curvy, ribbed cock. Pulsing in jealous agony, his upper cock keeps oozing precum; it’s much to his annoyance. Because he likes to keep it clean while pleasuring himself — a bit of a neat intergalactic freak, he is.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO whose ethereal white lashes flutter so softly when he cums, releasing a shaky ‘ahhh...~!’ as he orgasms hard — spurt after spurt of thick, milky cum shooting from the bulbous tips of both his cocks, painting the insides of the toy white and — oops, okay, so he didn’t check the fact that his upper cock wouldn’t fit, and now there’s a goopy puddle on the floor that he has to shamefully clean up.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who claims to Sukuna, “I’m bored of zoomin’ round Ass-dromeda. Why can’t we visit Milky Way?” to which he receives a quizzical look and gruff grunt in reply,
“Because the last time you were in Milky Way, you had a milky day, you slut. And I vowed to never let you near that planet ever again.” Sukuna answers, but Satoru persists, “Butbutbut that was one time! I’ve changed.”
“Nope. You’re still a horny dumbass.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who ‘accidentally’ projectile-launched Sukuna’s MOST PRIZED POSSESSION through the vacuum of space right towards earth. Two legs kick up on the spaceship’s dashboard as Satoru acts like he’s got no clue why the radar is picking up the object on the third rock from the sun. “Weird! I guess we’ll have to go retrieve it. Ahem.” then he booty bumps the dumbstruck Sukuna so he can take control of the cockpit.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who is so cringe it nearly melts Sukuna’s face off sometimes, “Oh-Em-Gee.” breathes Satoru in delight upon exit of the WAP-69 (don’t ask). “What the fuck does that mean?” Sukuna asks, bulky arms getting goosebumps at the cool temperature on earth during this fine evening. “It’s human-talk.” Satoru replies snootily.
“Uh-huh... and do you know what it means?”
“Well, I don’t have a direct translation BUT humans have said it when they’re surprised, when they’re praying, and when they’re fucking.”
“Cool. Now stop saying it.”
The radar device which Satoru holds starts bleeping, bright green dot blinking. “OMG I just got a signal for your teddy bear.”
“—it is NOT a teddy bear, that’s a VERY rare human artifact. Now, where is it?”
“This residence.” he rears his head up at your apartment complex.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who snoops around a hot pink bedroom, opening and closing drawers, scouring for the Hello Kitty plush very rare human artifact that is impossibly important to Sukuna. “Ooo! Nail polish — I don’t have pink in my collection.” Sukuna ignores the Nuisance and searches high and low, but the Nuisance keeps yapping. “Lacey pussy-protectors... mine now.” he smirks as he pockets them. “They’re called panties. And stop stealing shit!” Sukuna hisses, but Satoru? Doesn’t hear him, because his eyes land on an unopened box.
“—ooo, is this a plastic noodle? Oh. No, wait,” he reads the label of the sex toy (that you just bought and were very excited to come home from work to ride your brains out on, btw), “‘galactic cock’...? Haha, check that... humans are freaky.”
“Yeah, like you didn’t just get ripped off on a ‘human’ pussy in Andromeda, of all places. Seriously, isn’t that thing too small?”
Suddenly, Satoru stiffens, Six Eyes acting like his personal sensor as he detects a human nearby.
“Someone’s at the door.”
“OMG.”
“This is not the right context for OMG. We need to GTFO.”
They snatch the Very Rare Human Artifact That Is Definitely Not A Hello Kitty Toy and make for their ship.
But Satoru hesitates when his Six Eyes gather the details of your soul. His mouth hangs agape, as if he’s been struck in the back by a thousand cupid's arrows. Why? Because the shape of your soul is so similar to one he knew before... yeah, that human who dumped him.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO once fell in love with a human named Geto Suguru but he got DUMPED — that’s right, DUMPED — by him. And he has yearned to find someone like Geto Suguru but alas, has found no such similar soul in all the galaxies he had traversed. All fruitless missions, those were. But isn’t it fucking funny that he got dumped by a human? Sukuna will never not laugh at that.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who observes you, all Six Eyes dewy with tears, from the invisible UFO that’s parked on the rooftop one apartment block away from yours. “Wow, she is just so beautiful, it almost hurts to stare.” Satoru sobs softly, sweetly, making Sukuna curl his lips in abject disgust. “Don’t even think about it.” Sukuna warns. “I wasn’t! God, I’ve learned my lesson...” he trails off, sniffling as he wipes a tear off that’s been dramatically clinging to his lower lashes.
ㅤㅤㅤ──── 🛸
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who totally abducts you when Sukuna is asleep. Well, maybe don’t let the weirdo who’s been fucking a knock-off ‘human’ pocket pussy from Andromeda take control of the ship? Because obviously he isn’t gonna chart a course for home before beaming you up.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who stares at you — waiting for you to wake up — with two entrancingly blue eyes, the rest just small slits on his cheek and above his brows. He doesn’t wanna freak you out. And see! You don’t freak out when you wake up and look at him. Instead, you stare fondly back at him... glaring? No, no... he read in a book somewhere that glaring is sometimes affectionate. Oh, god, his heart throbs at you.
And you’re curling your lip at him, sprawled on the soft white sheets of his pod-bed, half admiring his ethereal beauty and half cowering at how massive he is as he arches over you — so giant, yet so docile. Adoring, even, puppy tilt of the head as you slowly blink at him.
“Uh... gleep glorp?”
“No, English.”
“What’s going on?”
Satoru’s lips spread into a toothy grin, “Surprise! You’ve been abducted, baby!”
He watches your mouth fall open — brows flattening over your eyes. Are you scared? Well, he inches backwards just in case. But then you speak again.
“Are you... are you fuckin’ kidding me...?”
“I’m sorry!” Satoru bursts into apology mode, “Listen, I’m not evil or anything, I just really liked the shape of your soul — OK fuck that sounds weird — ”
“I have CLASS tomorrow.”
“—wut?”
“It’s FINALS, you gleeb glorp motherfucker! I don’t have TIME for an alien abduction right now. I will get my degree NO MATTER WHAT.”
His antennae droop. There’s a hot blush burning atop his cheeks and he looks utterly embarrassed — seriously, this is not how Abduction: Suguru Geto went. Oops.
Satoru pops his lips. “Ah-haaa... sorry?”
“Sorry my ASS. This SUCKS. I wanted to come home, study, ride my brains out on my new dildo, watch memes, and go to sleep BUT NOOO! I had to get abducted by — by!”
He blinks at you with an endearing head tilt, and that’s when you’re sooo taken by his charm.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who you find out is really good at kissing — what? Okay, shame yourself for kissing an alien you literally just met. So what! He’s hot. He’s friendly. And he cups your cheeks as he kisses you more gently than any human man ever has, okay! Damn.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who is muttering little praises against your saliva-glistening lips, “You’re sooo soft. This is crazy.” he feels loopy, antennae glowing at the tips as he continues kissing you. Tilting his head, deepening the kiss, flushing hot when you presss your aching chest up on his huuuge pecs.
One intergalactic kiss and then oh no, suddenly your bra and panties fall off and you’re clawing at him to strip, too. Crazy.
ㅤㅤㅤ──── 🛸
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO can’t believe that asking “Wanna fuck?” in his most polite voice was all it took for you to hop on that alien dick.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who pinches curiously at your pussy, sniffing it out like it’s some exotic food. “Hmm, is it a bad idea to give it a taste? Surely not, when it smells this good, right? I’ve heard humans put their mouths on it juuust liiike this...” you feel his buttery soft tongue poking at your sensitive clit, throwing your head back, releasing the cutest noise he’s never heard before.
His buttery-soft lips melt against your soft pussy as he figures out what makes you feel good, finger prodding at your entrance as you instruct him to do so. Six-inch fingers (or more...?), thick and filling you up, Satoru’s grinning in amazement at how you feel inside.
“Wow, so different... really tight, I don’t think I can fit you on my cock, but we’ll see...”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO doesn’t mind that you’re soaking the palm of his hand with your pussy juices, in fact he’s lapping it up like it’s his new favorite dessert. “Oh my, now this I could get addicted to. Mm, like fuckin’ honey. So sticky, too. Aw, I bet your pussy would just melt around me so nicely like it did around my fingers.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who is ecstatic, to say the least, when you agree to let him run some experiments on you. Um, and by that I mean, he tests your pussy with vibrators that he totally stole from earth. He’s just trying to figure out how human females orgasm, and how many times in a row, ya know? That’s why he’s pressing a buzzing toy against your clit while working a thick dildo in and out of your beautifully gushing pussy — okay, so he totally stole your ‘galactic cock’ toy, too. But hey, on the bright side, you got to put it to use after all. “Is this too much? N’aw, but you look like you enjoy it... I wonder how many times in a row I can make you cum before I break you.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO edges you on your best orgasm just to see what it does to you. A rough, calloused hand plants a harsh slap on your sensitive pussy that’s honestly gone through so much abuse and yet still craves to be filled — toys have never been enough for you and he can clearly tell.
“So pretty when you’re a slutty little mess like this. Want me to fuck your brains out, right? Mhm, that’s all you can think about; getting fucked and filled with cock that’s wayyy too big for you. Yeah, you bet it would feel reaaaaaaaally good. And I’ve just been dying to get a feel for human pussy myself, so... why don’t we put ourselves out of agony?”
Big hands grasp at either side of your hips, cock wedged between your pussy lips. He’s teasing his bulbous cockhead at your slit, testing to see if it can actually fit in such a small space.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO whose pupils literally dilate the moment he slides his raw cock into your bare pussy, “Fuck, nn, wowww — so fucking tight. Stay still, please, I want to get deeper inside you.”
He arches over you, shadow stretching well over yours and putting you in dark shade.
He would be menacing, if not for the lip-nibbling cutiepie temperament he has; “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” he asks, genuinely concerned. “This is sooo crazy, I’ve never had to hold back this much for anyone, can’t even fuck you as hard as I want ’cause I’d break you... ahah, why does that make you smile?”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who fawns, “Fuck, human pussy feels sooo weird, ’s gonna get me addicted... fuck, nn!” aaaaaand his cock pops out. Oops.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who is tenderly eyeing out your little reactions and adoring the noises you make while he plunges his monster cock deep inside your abused pussy, pinching at your pert nipples and playing with your body like he’s known it for a century. “Mm, I feel so good, don’t I? Yeah, are you in love, yet? Because your pussy sure is. Look at how she hugs me.” He pushes your head down to make you watch him fuck you into a creamy mess.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO taking over the world? No. Taking over your pussy? Yessssssssssss. Now that’s what I’m talking about.
Fat tip prodding at your cervix, Satoru’s cock feels like it’s trying to mould your tiny cunt to fit his shape and him alone.
He presses a palm down on your tummy, “Feel me here, don’t you?” he grins, “That’s where I’m gonna put my babies.” Feeling him pulse against your walls so hot and hard that it makes your head spin so much you have to claw onto his beefy biceps for stability.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO whose imagination could have never accounted for the scent of your pussy, nor the pulse of its untried walls around him as he stretches you open, nor the endearing noises of pleasure that humans make during sex.
“Oh, does this spot feel good? Interesting. So, what happens if I fuck you right here... over n’ over n’ over again?”
“Ohhh, fuck! Ngh! Yesyesyes, please do that again, feels so good!!” you babble, tears escaping your twitching eyes.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who can’t help but blurt out; “Nn, fffuck — would it be a bad idea to fuck a baby into you? I think our kids would look kinda cute if they have your eyes. And I have strong genes! Wanna make a baby with me? Is that cool with you? Use your words. I’m close... cumming inside is how earthlings get pregnant, right? I have to cum... deeeeeep inside your pussy for my seed to take.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO whose second cock rests heavy and meaty on your pulsing clit, each stroke rewiring your brain with how good it feels to effortlessly cum. You don’t even have to do anything, just let him cradle you as he fucks you full of his cum repeatedly, until it’s frothy and getting whipped up with each new thrust.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who has a crazy toothy smile on his face that makes all his six eyes squinty, the entire time he’s fucking you. Eagerly manhandling you into a mean bulldog doggystyle, “You’re so fucking pretty in every position I put you in, I’m almost jealous — never met anyone who looks prettier than me getting filled with cock.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO can’t believe that earth has hidden a slutty gem like you from him — “You love getting fucked like this, like a little dolly; cumming ’till you can’t anymore — right, right? N’awww, you’re such a dumb babbling mess already, and I’ve just gotten started.”
You feel his thick, ribbed cock pulse against your taut walls, he’s licking affectionately at your earlobe, casting a long shadow over your frame, “Such a slutty human, so fucking weak... but you’re super cute, w’nna keep you here forever.” he says this — choking you up with how balls deep his fattest cock is right now, btw — while his upper cock is throbbing against your puckered asshole like it’s contemplating stretching that inviting hole open right now. It’s not like you’re that weak; you can take cock like a real champ in all holes at once — you’ve proven that to yourself plenty times, but those were just toys. Alien dick is a whole different story.
But he’s going craaaaaaaaazy at the thought of feeling both his cocks getting milked by your warm ass and pussy, literally drooling over your back as he coos against your earlobe, that syruppy voice feels so tingly in your stomach; “If you beg nicely, I’ll fuck both your holes~ wouldn’t that be fun?”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO releases feathery — nearly whimpering — moans fall as he finally slides both of his cocks inside your warm, welcoming holes — “Fuuuck, finally; my lil’ guy was getting jealous.”
Ethereal lashes fluttering at the sensation of his monster cock stretching out your tiny human pussy and ass. It’s crazy. Out of his world. He ruts into you like a beast, moaning over your shoulder, firm torso melding with your sweat-slippery back.
“So good, sooo good... nobody’s made me cum this much, fuck! Ahah, haha... I’m close again. Gonna fill up both your pretty holes, my sweet doe — are you gonna take what I give you, like a good girl? N’aw, yes you are. Yes you fuckin’ are.”
He picks up the pace, pounding you so hard that his massive, plump balls thwack loudly against your clit with each thrust. His arms are vined tight around you, feet stomped either side of your hips, lifting your ass so high up in the air that your knees don’t even touch the bed anymore — they’re hovering above the sheets, a steady stream of yours and his releases make a gloopy puddle.
He’s feverish, nipping at your ears, obsessing over how his massive cocks plug you so perfectly, “That’s it, that’s it; don’t use that silly brain of yours, just let me fuck you into bliss. F-fuck... I wanna be inside you forever, fill you with my babies just like this every day — fuckfuckfuck, ngh! Ahhh, I’m gonna c-cum... I’m c-c-c—cuuuuuummmmmminnnngggggg~!”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who’s got seemingly endless stamina, so you’ve got to be the one to tell him to finish. And he cracks a guilty smile, head bowing in shame, “Sorrrryyyyy, I got carried away.” he mumbles. “I just really like you.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who cuddles you so closely afterwards, giggling to himself — “You’re sooo cute.” he murmurs into the crook of your neck, “Never met such a slutty human before. And you take it so well, I’m honestly surprised.” he praises. You’re practically smothered by a bulk of sweaty muscle, and he has not withdrawn his cocks from your tired, cum-leaking holes.
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who cooks for you after, something ‘gourmet’ and ‘very exotic, from earth’ and it’s just fucking toaster pizza. The most sinful kind, too (SQUARE toaster pizza with PINEAPPLE). But he’s being so nice, you have to take a few polite bites.
... and it’s when Satoru scurries back to the kitchen cabin, that a grumbling double-armed, Sukuna trumbles out after his thick slumber. He could have sworn he heard moans and other such weird noises from Satoru’s bedroom, but he assumed it was just him watching his stash of human porn and then fell right back into the pillow.
But then his eyes land on you, mouth halfway choking down a toaster pizza.
You draw your gaze to him, blink innocently, and quite simply don’t know what to do except greet him by raising a peace sign — that’s a universal sign, right?
“I cum in peace.” you mumble.
Satoru’s humming from the kitchen cabin. Sukuna lets out... a sigh? A really defeated sigh.
“Satoru. Did you. Abduct. The Human?”
“... noooooooooooooo...”
He palms at his face — why does it seem to you like this isn’t the first time this has happened?
“Satoru... throughout heaven and earth, to the galaxies beyond; you alone are the dumbest fucking alien to ever exist.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who pouts — yes, POUTS — when Sukuna demands that he returns the human home. “You CANNOT keep the human.” he reiterates for the nth time, then Satoru babbles, “But she LIKES meeeeeee! See?” but Sukuna is NOT having it. “SATORU. PUT. HUMAN. BACK.”
“LALALA.... you reek of JEALOUSY. You just WISH you had a human who liked you. Loser!”
Very reluctantly, Sukuna convinces Satoru to chart a course back to Milky Way — “And step on it, she’s got collegs at 8 AM tomorrow.”
“College.” you correct.
“Time is, like, so relative...” Satoru grumbles, “By tomorrow, do you mean next lightyear?”
“No. Tomorrow.”
Satoru groans.
Sukuna’s at the wheel, maneuvering the ship through the stars — taking a very scenic route so that Satoru can enjoy just a little more time with you. He’s been clinging to your side, like, his limbs glued around you and didn’t budge.
The bulky... creature? Man? Alien? What was Sukuna? Shifted uncomfortably when you looked at him, probably because he didn’t like humans very much. But he tried hard to talk to you.
“So, how’s earth?”
“Good. Kinda dying.”
“Damn. That’s crazy.”
“Yup.”
“Ahem. Okay. Milky way is just over there.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—”
“Satoru, stop.”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO whose antennae droop gloomily when he has to return you home, skin glassy and eyes a translucent glow as he very dramatically cries about having to say goodbye to his favorite human. He nearly smothers you to death with just a hug, sniffling out, “You smell so nice. I’m gonna misss you so much. I’m literally gonna throw up.”
“Please don’t.”
“I-I could give you such sweet tours of the universe! Conquer any galaxy you want! C’mon!”
He persists, so you strike a deal, “You can pick me up on the weekends, just don’t make it obvious that a UFO is zooming around — I really don’t want the government to shoot my alien boyfriend down.”
“Okey :3”
ㅤㅤㅤALIEN!GOJO who sulks, dragging his feet around the space ship, dearly missing you. He only had you for, like, under 24 hours.
“Satoru, stop wallowing.”
“I’m not wallowingggg...” Satoru garbles, curling into a tight ball of self-pity and star-shuddering misery.
“Yes, you are.” Sukuna grimaces as he tries with all his might to convey sensitivity, “Listen, you need to get over it.”
“Easy for you to say! Have youuuuuu ever been heartbroken by two humans in a row!”
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ──── an; gleeb glorp, this is an alien invasion if you know what I mean... 👽💗 I don't know why but I wrote this with fervency. A girl just needs that otherworldly dick sometimes. To scratch that freaky itch. Sorry if this is a bit of an incoherent mess and ridiculously goofy, I wrote most of it on a whim at 2 AM.
light of my life i am sending u sunshine and sushi. i went for half price sushi but the catch was that they gave me literally half the sushi... i was so mad 😔 nearly cried.
THEY GAVE YOU HALF THE SUSHI??? this is why i have trust issues 💔 i would’ve been so mad too wtf.
i am sending you sunshine and FULL PORTION sushi back, my love 😠 you deserved better.
your art is literally some of the most heartwarming stuff ive everrrrrrrr seen. it was like. an instant follow. 😭💗✨️
thank you so so much 🥹💕 i have so much love and affection for my faves and w stsg i get caught up in how i feel they just love ea other SO much and i hope it always shows 🥰
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO breaks the love-o-meter at your local state fair because he had to prove a point and hit it too god damn hard. All you hear is THWACK and CRACK and "Sir, this is destruction of property, you will have to pay." from the quivering employee who takes one look at your boyfriend in his skin-tight compression top, sees the veins of his bicep pop, and goes pale-faced.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO who squeezes you so tight you feel like you're going to pop, holding you in place while he kisses you into a breathless little mess, rasping against your lips about how soft your lips are, how good they taste.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO picks you up and spins you like a ballerina because there's no greater joy in the world than the one in his arms. You daresay he's even more smitten with you than he was when he was an bespectacled, dorky physics undergrad.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO who is a hardcore believer in PDA, and keeps a tight hold on you when out and about, always walking on the traffic side of the sidewalk. No matter how many times he takes your hand in his, you'll still get butterflies; and he'll always give a swift kiss to your knuckles.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO who finds that heaven is real when he finally moves out into an apartment with you—"And we'll put a couch here," his voice echoes off the hardwood floors in the bare bones living room, he's mapping steps and shining those hope-filled eyes at you, "And a huge TV—"
"—for all the Love Island you're gonna force me to watch?" you giggle, following him as he leads you by the hand now to the tall white windows.
"—precisely, my butterfly. And right here, we'll have a Persian rug. Very fancy. We'll put all your plants here, so they get the best sunlight..."
He takes you down the hall—dances down it with you, twirling against the wall and leaning down to give you a breathy, hasty kiss.
"And we need a big bed, so extra magic can happen on it... something durable, that won't break no matter how hard I—"
"Satoru!"
"—and I think a crib will fit over there juuust fine—"
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO who gets toasty with you in the safe warm plush of his bed, viewing the full moon with you in his arms. There's no way out of them. He's 90% legs and tangles his body with you, wrapping his arms around you possessively, reeling you into his warm chest.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO who yearns like a poet but is actually a 9-to-5er with satan himself as his boss (tattoos, pink hair, bad attitude, grunts a lot, etc.). It makes him ache to have to leave for work before you wake up; he lingers for a while at your bedside just to look at your soft face, still pressed into the pillow, probably having a dreamy, succulent dream—hopefully his cologne seeps into it and makes you dream of him. He wants to laze in bed and dream at your side, too, but it's 6 AM and he's grinding for the 'Honeymoon' savings jar that you and him started from the moment you moved out together.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO writes you little love letters on paper and sticks them on the fridge before leaving in the morning, because the sleepy forehead kisses and five minutes extra cuddling just isn't enough. It's these notes which make you consider proposing to him. Stuff like "... the moon was full, but not as beautiful as you'or 'omg had a dream i saved you from an epic alien invasion and henceforth i think i deserve lots of kisses today' or 'would you still love me if i was an alien. gleep glorp=yes, zeep zoop=no'. or 'let's go to the florist later? <3 we need more plants for the kitchen' or 'i had a nightmare i couldn't catch the train home. so i'm gonna work on a top-secret science project and make a potion that turns me into superman. then i can just fly home. etc. you see the vision.' or 'you looked really cute this morning i almost took a bite of you. anyways. gonna get cake on the way home <3'
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO annoys his co-workers (Nanami especially) by gushing over photos of you, talking endlessly about all the plans he has for your future together, in-depth strategies for proposing marriage plotted on PowerPoint that he presents to them during lunch break—the work day isn't so agonizingly boring and dull if he's spending most of it with you on his mind.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO who's swiftly escaping the ugly grey corporate building with a chirpy "BYEBYE" and wifetime on his mind the precise moment the clock shifts to 5 PM. He can't get home quick enough, walking briskly and taking long strides. His baby is home and he's bursting to tell you about his day, and hear about yours, and let your voice soothe him, and cuddle with you like a swan on the sofa and binge Love Island with you in the slowly-coming-to-life living room.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO is squeezing you in his arms in the entrance the moment you leap at him, welcoming him home. He's looking down at you with a warm, loving gaze, "... and Nanami's going to Malaysia for a week... and Suguru's got a new piercing... he said Nanako and Mimiko are bickering a lot lately... and we talked about kids, and it made me think..." he yaps while you undo his tie and lovingly push his hair out of his droopy face. The poor boy runs out of steam as he talks, and soon falls into your lap with a sigh, mumbling into your thighs about how soft you are to him, letting something dirty slip just to make you giggle because there's no other sound in the world that can cure him quite like your laugh.
ㅤLOVESICK!GOJO who fights sleep because he wants more time with you—but by 1 AM, he's succumbed to sleep and softly snoring, curled up against you with his arms looping around your waist like a clingy koala, his chest rising and falling with each tired breath, face serene like he's dreaming of his entire future with you.
ㅤㅤㅤ──── i only intended to write the first headcanon but i got carried away. lovesick gotta be one of my fav genres of man.
ㅤㅤㅤSEXADDICT!SANTA!SATORU who dresses up like a sweet Santa and hops around all day with a big smile and boundless energy, annoying entertaining the kids and cracking one too many “I’m not dad; I’m Santa!” jokes that make you all cringe in unison. But he’s so sweet, you’ve just got to forgive his cringe-mas spirit.
He’s a bright-eyed Jack Frost nipping at your nose (quite literally), utilizing his tallness to hang decorations, and cookie-making with his kids like it’s an extreme sport that must be done with incredible care and attention to detail. He’s even written up a list of rules for the guests... 2. must wear their ugliest christmas sweaters... or their gifts are mine.
Christmas is serious business to him.
He plans it out very carefully. He has a to-do list.
Which you’re on, too, by the way. At the very top.
Alright, so he’s also been secretly fucking you on-off all day. Giving you coal in your stocking. If you know what I mean.
Of course, there’s never enough time to reach his climax, so he’s just rubbing his frustrated cock against your soft ass in the kitchen while the kids are distractedly squabbling around the Christmas tree in the living room.
Satoru’s warm hands slip up your sweater, teasing at your pert nipples, his lips nipping at your ear. He’s growling low and crisply against the side of your blushing face about how irresistable you look in your ugly christmas sweater. “Baby, you look too good... I could just unwrap you right here, right now... take a peek at my favorite gift... the gift of... boooooooobies... what? Whaaat? I may be cringe, but you still want my candy cane... so...”
He’s hurrying off with you to the hallway guest bathroom for an unsatisfyingly cut-short quickie—slipping into your gushing pussy as you invitingly spread your folds open for him.
Satoru Santa’s hotly moaning into your hair like he's just felt heaven—
“mmm, squeezing me so tight, Mrs. Claus, I m-might just have t’ give you a white christmas... put another baby in you... reclaim what’s mine... what? Whaaat? Ha-ha...haaah... you want it just as badly as I do, don’t you? Want me to put a baby in you again?” he sighs, fawning over how you feel, how you look; the pleading look in your glossy eyes as you wiggle your hips back to take your husband balls deep.
He’s pressing lovesick kisses to the back of your neck while he fucks you from behind like this, two hands on your breasts never letting go only squeezing tighter the closer he gets.
Rutting into your hot, warm pussy until he’s desperately pulsing for release, thrusts becoming sloppier and rhythm faltering—“Baby, so pretty when you cum... let me feel you melt around m-me just one more t-time and I’ll fill you up so good... haaah, uh-huuuuuuh—I’ll cum so deep inside you... hnnn...” his Santa hat with the bell jingles with every thrust into you. Just when he starts hitting the right spot, when he gets so comfortable inside you, and you moan out quiet whispers for him to give you his babies...
Suddenly the moment is completely interrupted.
“MOOOM. DAAAD. YUJI IS EATING THE COOKIES.”
Satoru halts, face buried in the soft heaven of your hair, and he blinks the sweat out of his eyes which were just fluttering shut a moment ago when he felt his orgasm threatening to spill out.
He pouts. This grown-ass man, balls deep in you, pouts.
“Wha—those cookies are for me!”
“No, they’re for Santa.”
“Yeah, duh—who do you think is balls deep in you right now—nononononono I’m sorry I’m just joking lemme finiiiiiiish—” too late, he cringed you right off his candy cane.
You push a finger into Satoru's chest, his neck looking deliciously marked with your holly-red lipstick under that fuzzy collar.
“Looks like Santa's just gonna have to wait to give Mrs. Claus her white Christmas...”
Oh, the struggle.
Dinner with the guests?
Doesn’t go very well for the Santa Who Has Been Accidentally Edged All Day.
He nearly spoils the contents of their gifts. He folds his arms and sours his face when Nanami makes a joke that gets you laughing, fixes his face into a searing glare and under the table, claws at the supple fat of your thighs... just to remind you. You know. In case the ring and three kids weren’t enough to claim you.
You’ve got to cheer jealous Satoru Santa up with kisses, that’s the only way to cure him before he goes full-blown Grinch mode.
When everyone’s opening the last of the gifts, Satoru’s stealing precious time with you in the upstairs hallway, desperately cupping your cheeks and leaning down for a moaning kiss.
“Mm, I’ve got a gift for Santa...” you insinuate, lowering onto your knees. Satoru damn near blushes and giggles like a high schooler, lifting his shirt and lowering his pants, letting his cock spring free for you. “Yeah? Aw, baby, you shouldn’t have... hhhfuck...”
You render him a leaky, whiny mess the moment your soft, wet lips slide over his tip.
Satoru Santa hurriedly fucks your mouth in the quiet hallway like this, looking down admiringly at your lewd expression as you take him into your cheeks.
“F-fuck... you've been a naughty girl this year, haven’t you, Mrs. Claus...? Look at you, licking me like a candycane. You love how it tastes, don’t you?” you pop off his length to mock him, “Satoru, you really get too into this roleplay...” but he stuffs himself right back into your mouth, gliding his wettened cock in with a nasty groan, “—now now, darling, if you give me attitude, Santa’s not gonna give you his gift.” he holds your head gently, fingers nested in your hair, guiding you on his cock until you find the rhythm and bob up and down his aching length by yourself—and I tell you, the exact moment he succumbs to your mouth and starts feeling good, something interrupts again.
This time it sounds like the kids are bickering over their presents.
Satoru’s spluttering nononowait, trying to persuade you back on his cock, or at the very least back into his arms so he can hump you—anything, he’ll take anything—but you’re rising from your knees as if summoned to duty.
But then you feel big, strong arms enclose you—gently, but firmly. Biceps taut against you.
“Nuh-uh, you’re not going anywhere.”
“Oh, Satoru, stop.” you’re giggling incessantly, he’s feasting at your neck with kiss after kiss after feverish kiss, grinding his cock into your body, not letting you out of his tight grasp.
“But baby—’tis the season to suck lolly. And my candy cane is throbbing for you—feel that?”
He’s putting your palm on his erection and you’re thiiiiiiiiis close to jerking him off, because he’s being irresistable even with the awful puns and all—looking as rideable as a god damn sleigh. You can feel his abs press into you. You’re getting ideas. Lots of them. But the kids are getting louder downstairs.
“Satoru, the guests—”
“—can wait—”
“—it’s Christmas—”
“—and you’ve been a naughty girl all year—”
He bucks his hips, cock aching in your soft palm. He squeezes you tighter in his arms.
“—baby, you’re not getting any sleep tonight if you leave me hanging here right now.” he threatens—voice sweet, reverberating, making your pussy clench in anticipation.
But you pry him off, because it sounds like war is erupting downstairs as the kids fight over presents. You leave a very hard and very frustrated Santa Grinch fuming in the hallway, plotting every position he’s gonna punish Mrs. Claus in tonight.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤ──── an; It's a swell time to go riding on a Gojo sleigh. Daresay, to jingle his bells. Call him Jack the way I'll let him Frost my face. I want a white Christmas and only he can make my wish cum true. Alright. Sorry. Don't know what came over me, y'all. 😿 Fun fact! This drabble has been in my drafts since last Christmas. Yup. Sometimes you just don't know how to execute an idea so you sit on it for like... a year. Anyways. I have a longer Christmas fic coming (with Nerdjo), it's really cute and fluffy smut that I feel will restore the balance on my blog after such a naughty year. That is, until I bring out the next batch of raunchy smut, at least...
