Xaden: First off, no you don't. She has you. Good luck. Second off, I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK FOR ME!
VIolet: *Already killed 500 Venin and thousands of Wyvern* DON'T PHRASE IT LIKE A DARE BITCH! EVEN THEN IT WOULDN'T WORK! HONESTLY YOU MARRIED ME WITHOUT EITHER OF US SHOWING UP TO THE ALTAR SOMEHOW, YOU SHOULD KNOW ME!
Maybe I'm not understanding something here, but Xaden channeled from the earth, thus becoming venin, to save Violet, but he also channeled from the earth again, thus becoming asim (I do believe), to save Sgaeyl. So why do people hate Violet for it but not Sgaeyl? It just sounds like people are trying to come up with an excuse to hate Violet.
On another note, let's not forget that Xaden becoming venin is going to have a huge impact on the future story. The Continent has been fighting the venin for centuries, yet they know hardly anything about them, and no one has ever wondered about saving them... because no one's ever been in love with a venin. Until Violet. Violet has a reason to try and find out everything about the venin because of her love for Xaden. She has a reason to find a cure (probably only for those who channeled out of love for someone rather than because they were power-hungry) because of her love for Xaden. Violet will find a way to end this war, save the venin that can be saved, and restore the Continent because of her love for Xaden.
Xaden channeled because of his love for Violet. Violet's going to win the war (and save as many venin as she can) because of her love for Xaden.
Summary: No matter how long it’s been, every part of you mourns Liam. You can’t let him go. With the help of your signet, you rewrite his fate. But at what cost?
Warnings: angst, grief, mentions of death & blood, eventual happy ending
Author’s Note: I think this can be seen as an alternate universe to my “Unravel Me” fic
Word Count: 2.8K
Posted on AO3
Masterlist
Fog envelops my steps as I walk across charred earth. The chill of the night clings to my cloak. It’s quiet, a stillness settling over the field where hours earlier, it was complete chaos.
Sulfur and ash still fill the air of Athebyne. Rot and the coppery smell of blood cling to me as I force myself to not look at the destroyed city. Sharp memories from hours ago hit me like a tidal wave. The roaring of dragons. The palpable panic coursing through our squad as Xaden barked orders. Violet’s lightning cracking across the sky. Cloaked Venin swarming the city. The screams of Athebyne’s citizens.
The echo of their cries is still here, haunting every step I take as I turn away from the city. I’m not here for Athebyne. I don’t wish to relive what will surely bring me nightmares for years to come. No. I stay as far from the city as I can.
Instead, I go to the last place I wish to be.
The earth here is stained in crimson, scorched by dragon fire. A strange sense of dreadful awareness fills me as I stare at the ground.
This is where Liam Mairi died.
Where I watched him choke on his last breaths, clinging to the red scales of his dragon, Deigh, before death finally came for him. Seconds away from entering the afterlife and he still had a smile rivaling the brightness of the sun.
That’s who Liam was. He was the light of a new dawn, the feel of fresh dew on grass, the racing of a pulse. He was the embodiment of life.
How cruel to die so young, fight a war he never should be apart of. He was the best of us. He is the best of us.
Flashes of stolen kisses in corridors, hands clasped tightly, and whispered affections plague my mind.
“We’ll be together again, in the next life.”
I flinch at the memory of his breath on my lips. His hands losing their grip on me as his eyes dimmed, his soul fading.
“I wish we had more time.” I choked through my sobs, clinging to him, begging every god who could hear me to let him stay.
Liam had only given me a soft smile. The sort of smile he only reserved for those early mornings when we awoke in one another’s arms. It was full of something so hopeful and soothing, it stabbed my gut like a jagged knife to see it when he lay dying.
“Death cannot stop me from seeing you again,” he gave me a swift, soft kiss. It burned my lips. “I will always love you.”
The burning behind my eyes is unavoidable now as tears stream down my cheeks, dripping to the dirt stained by his blood. My eyes are swollen from hours of crying and I’m shocked to find I still have tears to spare.
I don’t have time to cry. I only have a few hours to get this right.
Kneeling to the ground, I lay my hands atop the bloodied soil, closing my eyes. Breathing deep and slow, I open the door to the power lying in wait beneath my skin.
I’ve never done this before. It’s new and desperate of me, but I have to try.
Hope clings to me like a second skin as I breathe, in and out, concentrating on the feel of the earth beneath my skin.
My signet is healing, but something crawls beneath my skin that is not of this world. Every time I heal and mend, the power hungers for something more. I feared, for a long time, this was something pulling me to become Venin. Something that takes and takes, wreaking havoc and stealing life. But it only occurred to me after Liam’s death that it wasn’t anything like that. It wasn’t a hunger for power, but a sense of not reaching my full potential. Like having a set of keys and a locked door before me. I only need to find which key will open the door.
Taking a vial from my pocket, I don’t look as I coat my hands in the substance within. It feels grainy and powdery. I know without looking it’s dark, coating and staining the skin of my palms.
It’s the ashes of Liam’s body.
After his death, his body was brought back to Tyrrendor after the battle and stacked upon a pyre. He was burned, as is custom, and I can still feel the cloying smell of burned flesh choking the air. I had stood there for hours until the flames were mere cinders and his body was nothing but ash.
Every second since his death, I’ve become a ghost. There’s a pain that lingers, hanging between my ribs, that sharpens and intensifies with every breath. The idea of continuing this life without him tortures me. After all the love he’s given me. Every smile, every touch, it was all stolen by time.
I don’t know what made me do it. Something clicked inside of me as I watched the flames of his pyre. An instinct I trusted immediately as a plan slowly began to form. When Xaden finally left my side and I was left alone, I bolted forward, grasping an empty vial from my jacket and filling it to the brim with his ashes.
That was an hour ago.
Now, I’m holding on to every instinct I’ve been following since his death. Concentrating on the ash coating my hands, I pour everything, every ounce of my power, into the earth. I’ve always imagined my healing signet to be a tapestry of golden threads, weaving the body to mend at my will. Now, I see traces of withered, dead strands in my minds-eye, lying in wait as the golden threads of my power reach for them.
Pain pricks up my spine as my power extends, those golden threads stretching as far as they can. My pulse beats heavily in my blood, breaths heaving from my lungs as I push myself to the limit. Burnout isn’t an option.
Like the snap of broken rope, I’m untethered, my power sparking from my fingertips as I fall to the ground, heaving. Gasping breaths, I finally open my eyes, staring at the blood-stained dirt beneath my splayed fingers.
It didn’t work.
I try again. The dirt caking under my fingernails as I dig deep. I pour myself into my power, straining to catch anything that will reach back.
Nothing.
I shake my hands out, flexing the muscles and tendons, and do it again.
Nothing.
It’s not fucking working.
Rage slowly rises, burning like acid in my stomach as I let every frustration, every ounce of bitterness, consume me.
A scream escapes my lips. And another. Until I’m left screaming and heaving in the dirt.
I scream and scream and scream.
It’s hoarse and echoes through the valley. I sense my dragon’s distress, but I block them out. I need to stay focused.
I can’t let Liam go. I won’t let him go. Never again will he be separated from me. In this life or any other.
This time, once my voice lets the last of my frustration die in my throat, making it rough and hard to swallow, I close my eyes and picture Liam. Every dip and curve of his face. Every freckle, mole, scar, and dimple. Muscles lining his arms, his relic tattoo stark against the skin of his arm and collarbone. The way his hair gilded the sky in the afternoon sun. His infectious laugh. How his teasing and flirting were intoxicating and thrilling. His attention a drug as his crystal blue eyes would trace me, holding me captive.
Warmth seeps into my bones as I grip the dirt, desperately. I cling to every memory I have of him. Every trace of life within him, pulling him back to me, like an anchor.
The memory of his smile, so carefree and brilliant. The way he lit up the darkest parts of me with every tilt of his lips, his eyes glittering with mischief. I always felt privileged to be able to see him smile at me so freely. It was always there for the taking and he gave them to me without ever holding back.
The memory of his hands clasping my hips for the first time, adjusting my stance on the mat during training. How a blush rose to both our cheeks when our eyes met. His flirtatious smile consuming his face, brightening the world with it.
The memory of the first time he cornered me in the hall, longing and desperation clinging to him as he confessed how much he wanted me. How much he needed me in his life as more than a friend. I remember returning his affections with a soft kiss that had him easily confessing how much he loved me. My laugh echoed in the hall before his own joined mine.
Every memory of his lips against mine, soft and searching, insistent and desperate, strong and sure. Even our last kiss, the morning before we left for Athebyne, where he kissed every inch of my skin until I was blushing and swollen with them. His tongue tracing my collarbone before whispering sweet nothings into my skin, sending goosebumps down my body.
The feel of his hand in mine is the last memory that keeps me centered and focus. The way his palm slid against mine, fitting entirely too well to not call it fate. To not call what lay between us a form of love so true and destined, it felt like breathing.
“Death cannot stop me from seeing you again. I will always love you.”
And just like that, I breathe. I breathe long and slow, letting my memories consume me, carry me, guide me.
With every memory, every brush of his presence in my minds-eye, the glittering golden threads of my power slowly begin weave together. I’m so lost in the depths of my mind, clinging to the lingering imprints of Liam, that I don’t notice the spark.
I open my eyes, gasping as I see light shining from beneath my palms. It’s a wondrous sight, something I can’t look away from. And I feel…. I feel the soul of the earth, the roots far below, responding to my touch as something beats beneath my skin. A steady rhythm.
Almost like a heartbeat.
I’m doing it. I’m doing it!
I can’t help but inflate with hope, smiling at the strangeness of my power as it buries further and further until I feel every rock and blade of grass around me.
A sudden flare of blinding light, chaotic and bright, breaks across the field from beneath my palms, stealing the last of my energy, before I fall to the dirt like a puppet cut from their strings, darkness clouding my vision.
The last thing I sense, before I let the darkness wash over me, is a slow heartbeat and a firm chest beneath my hands.
———
I wake to the sound of my name. It’s desperate and unsure, breathless and hopeful. Rough, shaking hands hold me, arms firm around my body as those hands cradle my face. My eyes blink slowly until I’m staring up at a predawn sky, the night and stars disappearing as the sun slowly rises in the distance.
It takes a moment for me to remember someone is holding me. That I’m not alone.
I jolt when my eyes lock on blue ones.
“Liam?” I choke, voice hoarse.
He smiles, tears in his eyes as he stares down at me, holding me closer. “It’s me.”
My hands shoot out, tentatively touching his cheek, his nose, his jaw. He closes his eyes at my touch, leaning into it. My heart soars as I feel his skin, warm and full of life. The smell of him washes over me, so familiar I breathe it in greedily. I leap from his hold, wanting to get closer to it, to him. I wrap my arms around his neck, grasping on to him as a sob tears from my chest. Liam holds me just as tight, arms banding around me, as if reassuring me that he’s really here. Maybe even reassuring himself.
“How?” He whispers against my hair.
I shake my head, never leaving the comfort of his chest as I bury myself in him.
“I couldn’t do it,” I whisper. “I couldn’t let you go. I knew I could bring you back, so… I did.”
Liam pulls away, his fingers tilting my chin up to meet his eyes. It’s still dark, but the small traces of dawn light his eyes a calming blue that reminds me of the sea in sunlight. Glittering and beautiful. It’s so familiar, the ache in my chest slowly ebbs.
“You brought me back?” His whisper is uncertain, but his face tells me everything. It’s as familiar as my own. The way his eyes hold traces of hope and longing.
I smile brilliantly up at him. “Death can’t keep us apart.”
A breath escapes parted lips before he surges forward. His lips find mine and nothing about this kiss is soft. It’s desperate, like clinging to life with bare hands, trying to keep oneself from leaving this world and on to the next with every breath. It’s aching, like the hollow in my chest that is slowly knitting itself together with every brush of his skin, every breath he takes. It’s consuming, like the love that surges between us, real and everlasting. Something so unbreakable, even death can’t stop us from being together once more.
That thought alone has the tears stream anew down my cheeks as I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, opening my mouth to let his tongue remind me what it feels like to live. To love. To cherish.
I climb atop him, something desperate clawing its way beneath my skin, as I cling to him, hands grasping at his hair. He’s just as rough, just as searching and overcome with this need to feel alive. His rough, calloused hands dive beneath my shirt, touching my skin. I moan at the feel of him, his skin so familiar, it’s imbedded into my own.
The slide of his skin against mine, his hands inching up my spine, makes me shiver. He pulls me even closer, lips now tracing my jaw, nipping my throat, sucking the skin of my collarbone. He groans as my breaths come out raggedly. His hands now pressing into me, forming bruises. It grounds me.
He’s here. He’s actually here.
With my hands in his hair, I pull him back to my lips, kissing him with abandon. Reminding me this is real.
When his hands slide down my skin, I moan once more at the feel of his callouses. Gods, I need him. I need-
He pulls his skin away from me and I grunt in frustration.
He laughs against my lips, before kissing me anew, this one sweeter, gentler. The racing of our heartbeats echoes between us as we slowly come up for air.
When he gives me another slow, burning, lingering kiss, he smiles against me. “Whatever you did, however you did it, thank you.”
I shake my head. “You don’t need to thank—“
“I do.” His grip tightens, holding me closer still. “How can I not? You brought me back. It’s a gift to be in your arms again. To be breathing.” He shakes his head before touching his forehead to mine, closing his eyes and breathing deep. “I’ll never stop being grateful. I don’t deserve you.”
I soften, my hands tracing his jaw as I lean in, kissing him once more. “We deserve each other.”
With his hand clasped in mine, everything is as it should be. The beat of his heart beneath my palm is the calm in the storm, reassuring me I will never be alone. Never again.
Sunlight breaks through the clouds ahead and if sparkles across the morning dew. I can’t help the hope rising inside of me at the sight. A new dawn, a new beginning. Together.
I close my eyes, basking in the sun, holding Liam close. Its warmth is similar to his touch. All-consuming, reassuring, and constant. A beacon in the darkness.
For the first time, I take a long, deep breath, knowing this is not our end. With him by my side, I can face anything.
Nothing will keep us apart now. Not the Venin. Not the looming war ahead. Not even death.
Not even when my eyes open, blinking in the sunlight, and traces of red, the color of blood and sacrifice, glimmer in the depths of my irises.
