#vent ask

[viragoposting]

​I am a woman. I don't want to be a man; I just want the "masculine" to be mine to wear. I want to be accepted as a woman who can out-lift you, who prefers a partner in lace to one in leather, and who doesn't see those things as contradictions.

​I’m tired of being told I’m "trying to be someone else." I’m not. I’m just trying to be the version of a woman that the world hasn't made room for yet.

I'm so sorry anon. Even if the world feels bleak, I hope you find room here.

[cleanqueer]

This probably is not the place for this and I’m sorry if this is too much or too triggering so TW for suicide attempt and sh mention

Last night I almost committed, all of the stuff happening on here recently reopened old wounds and I kind of spiraled. I was proship from 10-15 years old due to being groomed by a guy I met on Discord, I never victimized anyone it was mostly just me “lolifying” myself for his amusement and engaging in loli/darkship roleplays with him. He started encouraging me to cut myself and send him the pictures, when my mom found the cuts she beat me so bad I’m still suffering from health issues to this day, I deleted all of my accounts that he knew about, wiped all of my devices clean, and completely left the internet because I was afraid of what else my mom would do

I thought I recovered and i thought i could live a normal life again but after seeing the stuff happening with chroma, and the discourse around “pro harassment” I genuinely felt like I deserved to just die and that no one will ever see me as anything but someone who deserves nothing but pain and suffering for being a terrible kid I feel so guilty and disgusted with myself

Thankfully i didn’t go through with the attempt but i sh again after being clean for 8 months

Every time i see someone say that recovery is impossible or that recovered proshippers are just better off dead I start to believe it a little idk why i’m still alive tbh

the fact you’re not a proshipper anymore PROVES recovery IS possible, anon! please keep living. There is nobody in this world that deserves something as tragic as suicide. Overall, Chroma is just a kid, and they’re someone who’s been opened up to a violent side of “antis” because of the nature of their blog. I really just feel bad for them, even if they said some really bad things. But please keep living anon. What happened to you was absolutely terrible, but there is always joy in the future, no matter what is happening now. There will always be someone who needs to tell you something, and someone who wants to connect with you, who will never get to do it if you were gone. There will always be people who miss you (more than you think they will!) and there will always be something new to try that you’ll just love, and if you die, you’ll never experience it. Keep living and keep loving everything around you.

[objectum-culture-is]

Objectum culture is mourning over your old device

My device is honestly really old but she can still run decently with a few issues but I had to get a new one because of work and my old girl is being given to a family member as a practice device... I don't really like my new one (it ended up being slightly faulty and I had to go back to the tech store to get that sorted) and I ended up crying because of how much I missed my old device :( she's still in amazing shape despite the years and I even loved the visible wear and tear of common places I touched it... it was just so special to me and I didn't realize how good I had it until I had to give her to someone else... I'm glad I can still see her sometimes but seeing her in someone else's hands makes me jealous but I can't tell anyone that or it'll look silly or questionable ToT

Sorry if vents aren't allowed feel free to ignore ^^;

.

[yourlocalavian]

you've said before venting is okay, and i still feel a little unsure cause i'm always scared people won't like me, but i do feel a little sad. here it goes i suppose

i just got a message from an irl friend from school, talking about how she feels insecure a lot and was asking me if i was her number one. thing is, she's an amazing person, so kind, but.. she doesn't properly know me. i mask a lot, and she's on the wrong side if that makes sense. she doesn't know so many things about my identity. she doesn't know me. but i know her. and it feels wrong that she loves me more than i love her /platonic. truth is, i'm likely moving schools next year, and she doesn't know that. and... i don't know if i can talk to her after that. its been so hard hiding the person i truly am, masking and becoming an entirely new person around her. would she be supportive of me? maybe, i'm not entirely sure. we'd both consider ourselves weird kids, but in different was. she's 'weird' in a her interests way that can be perceived as a little bit cringe. but i'm weird in the neurodivergent soul crushing way that affects my entire identity. she has been supportive of my mask's identity, but i'm not sure about mine. i... i have better friends outside of school. people who accept the real version of me. and honestly, she's not my first choice. but i said so. because i'm too empathetic. i'm pretty sure i have hyper empathy or something. echoism, thats what its called. well, i think me probably being an echosit affects how i act. i know how she feels. i can't break that. i told her she was my first. whatever makes her happy. because i can't be honest. i can never be mean. i can never give anyone any negative emotions. i will absorb all the negativity if it makes others happier.

Aw babes- thank you for trusting me enough to tell me all of that. 🫂💕

First off, I'm really sorry you're carrying all of this by yourself. That sounds like such a difficult situation to be in, and I can understand why you're feeling conflicted. I've been in similar situations myself :')

I don't think you're a bad person for feeling closer to some friends than others. We all connect with different people in different ways, and that doesn't make the care you have for her any less real. It just means your friendships are different.

Also, I know it can be really exhausting to feel like you have to mask around someone all the time. Everyone deserves to have friends they can be themselves around, so I can see why that's been weighing on you.

One thing I hope you remember, though, is that you don't have to carry everyone else's emotions all by yourself. I know you said you care deeply about people, and that's a wonderful quality and something I also have to reign in a lot, but your feelings matter too. You deserve to be honest about what you need, even if it's hard sometimes.

If she really does care for you that much, then she'll be accepting and loving of the real you. And if she doesn't, then she isn't a true friend. Real friends love you through thick and thin, through changes and different phases in life. The good ones will stay, and the bad ones will leave.

Whatever happens with moving schools, I hope you're able to be kind to yourself through it all <3

And if you ever need me to help in any sort of way, just know that im here for you 🩷🩷🩷

[ao3-shenanigans]

Do you accept vents? I live in the xreader community and I've started to notice a huge uptick in targeted comments at writers lately and I think ai (especially c.ai) has led to a lot of entitlement that people are starting to feel *really* comfortable demanding and expecting a certain catered-to labor from authors. It's to the point now where I don't know if I find joy in writing anymore. If I see one more "I wouldn't say that" comment (even on someone else's fic) I might burn my account down

Ugh, I’m so sorry that’s been happening. People tend to forget that authors writing and sharing their works for free is a gift to the community

[ajolteonnamedsparky]

also gonna make this a post, probs will add it to intro to...

but hey! please please know I am always a place to send anons to vent and stuff. ofc I will listen and help yall best I can as the semi compitent adult I am <3

I love all of you don't forget it! And I am here for EVERYONE. Mark my words :]

[prinfuranonymous]

I am honestly willing to bet actual money that the "polycule" 🌹🦄 mentioned in their post of their new OC's is just going to be a full on harem stereotype. I don't understand why people do not seem to understand they are incredibly bigoted, even if unintentionally. I wonder how much more they'll be able to show their racist ass before people get the memo that they're not being harassed when called out for racism and such, it's a genuine problem, and they have the biggest victim complex I've ever seen. It's genuinely amazing how every time they get called out for something without fail they start pity-farming by going "oh woe is me, autistic AFABs are the most oppressed group in the world." As if their autism or being AFAB has anything to do with their racism or transphobia or misogyny and such. Furry porn rots people's brains it seems because you can now get away with posting what are essentially nazi dogwhistles and still have your ass kissed because "what will I have to jack off to if I dont have my tradwife holocaust-self-insert furry porn?" Any person who claims to be against facism and bigotry who follows them and defends them is a liar and I don't trust a single one of them.

-🖤