#ventiing

[phyerrhed]

I feel drowned

Covered in responsibilities that don't care to even know my name

They're completed and immediately replaced with more

My complaints met with confused looks and dancing shackles

As I walk by, dying souls giggle as their vessels bleeds out on the street.

My world became so small seemingly over night

Months were long but the weeks were longer

Everyday struggling to wake up. Every night revealing what I had lost.

I hate to complain but everything else is terrifying and heavy

"what if what if what if what if what if...."

SPINNING! DIZZY! LAZY! TRYING! HELP ME!

Is there anything anyone could even do? If my God is quiet and the world keeps spinning without me...

I've been struggling for a while about things that I have no desire to talk about to deaf ears that are "used to it". I feel anger when I speak. "Why am I the only one tt with the things going on?", "why am I the only one able to sit with myself?", "why am I the only one that feels genuinely alive?". I KNOW things will be fine but things are getting WORSE RIGHT NOW! Am I expecting too much as asking for too little? Am i not working hard enough or am I expecting others to do it for me? Is this right? Am I right? Or am I dying too... Im scared of losing everything or settling in misery. I can't eat and sleep is spotty... I should surrender my cat but "what if I get things fixed?" Well what if I don't? What if I run out of time and everything collapses on top of me and I can't be recovered? What if what if what if what if what if what if what what if.... My head hurts more than my scarred heart does.

[phyerrhed]

I thought I'd be glad. I thought I'd be better.

Tearing apart my skin and growing a new one

Teeth bared and rotted

I never thought it'd be this bad

Yet it's not "bad enough"

I'm trying, pushing, pulling, again and again

Nothing is going anywhere anytime soon

I tread through waste deep waters

Trying to find a way

Pushing through discomfort

Pulling myself from the pits

Again and again

What's the use of crying?

A baby left to their own devastation finds a way

A way through the pain in silence

Acceptance and Defiance

All in the same heartbeat

Growing smaller but wiser under the pressure

I've been working so hard to fix my life. Listening to everyone BUT me... I have a severe tooth ache that they say WILL get worse then I have God saying it'll be fine. Im too tired to be devastated anymore. My tears are tired and so is my heart.

All the while, I still push through. One step at a time. Less people causing me pain in my mind, body, and Spirit. Simplified life. I take my time doing my best and that's more than enough...

[phyerrhed]

There's something about crying your last tears

Squeezing them through tired eyes

Over and over... No more

I now lay here writhing and waiting to regain consciousness and momentum

May my heart carry me there with the strength of God. Amen

[stardust948]

.

[a-dogsbl-og]

Lets Vent

Can I just vent, every night after work I come home and feed my pup then put him out back to relieve himself. I wait a decent amount of time according to me to bring him back in, I would say about 15 minutes. (What would you consider a decent time span before bringing your pet back in?). He comes in with the zoomies because 15 minutes in a nice sized fenced in yard just isn't enough, and he speed races through my house with his puppy claws. Well now my carpet is crying out for help and I have to cut strings. He then grabs his ball and wants me to throw it to him.... I just got home can I breath, some would say the 15 minutes was enough. I ask my partner, how was he and her response was "like a baby, he slept all day" Great.

[tormentedapathy]

There'2 no poIInt two thII2.

[fit-gab]

xxxxx

I just created a blog, I’m gunna post rants about friends, relationships, fitness, and everything in between.