#venting...

[moonreachingout]

.

i find it difficult to cope with being unlikable, i feel lonely and embarrassed, i don't really have anyone i can relate to. i dont really know how else to put my feelings, i can only process my experiences as being unlikable and having a bad personality that disinterests people or they find me ugly or off putting. i never seem to be able to interest anyone into becoming friends online and i don't really have friends in real life, i feel lucky to have kira. i have her so i feel guilty of being lonely, someone like me should just be happy one person likes me.

[rawxlilacx]

I’m really not worth anyone’s time. I’ve distanced myself. From everyone I know. Because I just can’t deal with anything right now. Ignoring messages, not going on social media at all (apart from tumblr, it’s safe here...) I hate myself a lot. I’m dealing with my emotional pain in a very toxic way but I don’t know what else to do at this point. I’m completely hopeless. And ridiculous.

[voidw1tch]

What's it like? Not being an artist in a roleplay community that's so reliant on it? Don't you feel left out?

Of course I feel left out.

You think it’s easy? People appreciate art more than writing because you can actually see it rather than just use your imagination.

Don’t get me wrong, I love roleplaying. It’s one of my biggest hobbies next to editing photos :P

But for someone like me, someone that can’t draw well, doesn’t have one of those digital drawing pads, someone whose talentless in an artistic way. It’s not exactly the most easiest thing.

Can they draw? No. Can they write well? No? Well, then what’s the point? 

I don’t like picking and choosing my roleplay partners, but yes, being in a community that’s so depended on Art. It feels so…bad! I do have those moments where I feel like I don’t belong, that I should’ve just give up, but I’m still relatively new, so I can’t afford to act like a total waste of space :P

but yeah. I do feel left out, all the time. 

[firebirdinflight]

duuuuuuuuuude i just saw a singlet ask a rly insensitive question about systems and now im salty?

like it was on a completely other blog but

it was more or less “um is it really healthy to pretend you have multiple personalities??? cuz it doesnt seem like it to me :/”

listen you shit i aint pretending

we couldnt fake this crap if we wanted to

(which we dont, most of us really REALLY wish we had the body all to ourselves, or that we could all split off into separate bodies)

healthiness level is debatable (since this lil thing called multiplicity is usually considered a MENTAL ILLNESS by most)

but like

its the way we are??

we dont know of a way to stop it and we’re all terrified of what would happen if we tried to like

merge or something

so all we can do is try to get along and make a life for ourselves where we can all be semi happy

singlets can bite my ass

[circuitdoll]

it gives me difficult feelings that i'm unable to have a future in mind with someone in a relationship. it's scary. the wires in my mind were developed in and distorted by a grooming dynamic. i let that happen to myself because i wanted a relationship so badly. why does the hardship of trudging towards independence feel like a dissolution of a relationship? these thoughts harm me and my prospective future deeply

[mariogirl369]

First Pumpkin vanishes, then Lakuza stops world creation, and now Salena brought her stories to an abrupt end...

What else am I going to lose this year that I got so invested in...? Am I really going to be the only one left when this is all over?

[kiwerzia]

I am really tired of being depressed seriously. idk why but being at home is not my fun part of the day anymore, everytime i get home i start feeling extremely bad. i be studying every day for so long but don't get anywhere and i be so unfocused. I've watched every single YouTube video, listened to audio books for self help to how to be disciplined and it never works??? i literally be wanting to be, i want it so much but i never achieve and the worst thing is that i KNOW WHY but i cant say it to anyone that i dont believe in myself to much and that i hate myself in a way that is suicidal. really. ive trying so hard to not be like that anymore but it always gets me at the end. it really pisses me off, so so fucking much. i really have so many dreams, hundreds, why almost every of them dont get even close to become reality, what do i do wrong ? i really thought i could make myself proud but i never get.... i want to be good why i cannot be good. every night i be thinking about how shitty i am and how nothing i accomplished these past 3 years and i tried so hard....

I'm tired seriously, when I'll be good at something... i really be thinking that I'm miserable, that I'm making my parents disappointed because they be spending too much money on me and they believe so much in me that i be feeling the worst person ever i swear. i really don't wanna hate myself anymore please let me be happy once in my body please