Six months ago I found myself at rock bottom sitting in front of a bunch of overweight strangers and a bariatric surgeon aside some other lady who I still don’t know her part in the seminar. I was lost, empty, depressed, sad.. you name it I felt it. I remember how depressed I was when they said how long this process was going to take. Could I wait? Is waiting even worth it? Fast forward. >>>>> I’m sitting here six months later stressing over my last sixth nutrition visit. LAST! I can not even believe how fast this time has flown by. Especially with all the appointments they bombard you with! But that being said,the last nutrition visit means I am only a few weeks from receiving the date for my surgery! Six months ago I had only a minuscule idea of what I was getting myself into. I wanted to be healthy and a hell of a lot smaller than this. I knew it wasn’t a magic pill and I knew after surgery I was going to have to work my ass off. Literally. I just had no idea how many different doctors you had to see for all these tests before receiving clearance for surgery.
Anyways, enough rambling. Why did I choose to undergo a vertical sleeve gastrectomy? (For now on I’m saying sleeve, vertical sleeve gastrectomy is a mouthful!) Well I am 24 years old and I weigh 310 lbs and I stand at a measly 5 ft 0 inches. I told myself years ago if I ever hit 300 I was going to put a bullet in my brain. I’m alive and surprisingly healthy for 310 lbs. Low blood pressure, cholesterol is where it’s supposed to be, no sleep apnea & diabetes free, hearts doing great. But for how long will I remain healthy and huge? I’m taking charge before my body gives up on me. As a single mom of one beautiful crazy & too smart for her own good 2 year old, I’m constantly on my toes! But I’m not able to do the things I want to with her. I can’t keep up with her constant ball of energy, and if I take her to a park... I’m done for. This year I sadly found myself refusing to take a Christmas picture with my daughter. Actually now that I am thinking about it, this was her 3rd Christmas and I don’t have any Christmas picture with her. I am too damn embarrassed to take a picture looking this way. I know she wont care, but I do! There is a group picture where I try and use her body as a human shield to hide my body, with little success. Needless to say I have a ton of reasons I am doing this, and I will get to them. But for now I am off to bed! I need my 8 hours or I get cranky!
