#veryfast rambles

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I am haunting the narrative in a way that is a little uncomfortable for the other characters in the narrative

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As a neurodivergent asexual queer person with niche interests, a unique career, and a tendency to alienate people due to my odd habits, info dumping, and off-putting intelligence, I am taking applications for a Watson

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Me on my Instagram: oh boy, better not like anything, lest other people see what I'm doing online!

Me on Tumblr: *liking smutty fanart of a popular character in a maid outfit* ok well when you really think about it I am supporting small artists

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I once saw a fic in which Satan tortured Crowley (it was literally just physical torture) and one of the tags was "non-consensual workplace relationships" and I laughed so hard I spat out my coffee and then I felt bad for laughing at torture anyways

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My greatest aspiration is that one day I will say something so funny and iconic that someone else on here will crop it and put it over a fan-favorite character in a post containing a series of textpost memes. The dream.

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Ya know having rp blogs pop up on my feed is hilarious because I log into Tumblr and I'm like oh ok a meme, a fanfic, an edit, marius is pregnant and it's a girl, a meme...

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I am so so so so happy you're posting about operation mincemeat i love my batshit insane MI5 lil guys what were they thinking how the fuck did any of that end up working aaAAAAAAaa <3 :)

I'm freaking OBSESSED right now and I'm sure I will be posting about it incessantly for a while and also I just know that Ewen Montagu is going to occupy WAY more space in my brain than that dumbass bitch should (im already soooooooo not normal about him)

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Absurd shit from my WIP Sherlock Holmes retelling, out of context:

Watson owns a mug that says “No Shit, Sherlock”.

Mycroft isn't in government at all, that's a blatant lie that Sherlock tells people to fuck with them. Mycroft’s a lawyer.

Lestrade keeps a backup knife in his boot in case he gets kidnapped, and the only person he's ever stabbed with it is himself.

Irene Adler murders ped*philes and owns a private jet.

Sherlock has a t-shirt from the Reichenbach Falls Visitor Center.

Mrs. Hudson makes weed brownies, and once accidentally got the entirety of Scotland Yard high.

Mycroft has 9 consecutive “Employee of the Month” awards and they sit in a place of honor on his mantle.

Sherlock only said “Elementary” one time, but it became a viral meme on the internet.

Moriarty keeps bugging 221b for no reason other than the fact that he watches it like a soap opera when he's bored.

Mary Morstan flirts with John exactly one time before realizing that John is a fucking simp for his flatmate, and proceeds to laugh at him throughout the entire story.

Sherlock doesn't do drugs and instead consumes an average of 23 espresso shots per day, and it gives John the same amount of anxiety as the cocaine in canon.