#victim playing

[sweetscentedkiss]

My biggest nightmare is people who are victim players, and immature and ignorant parents

[bizcochitomarmolado]

Part 2.

Cr. selfcare4yu

[darth-sonny]

Re: thoughts on Kirby and Prime's "relationship"...

I can definitely see a Coraline-type situation happening, maybe when Leo is still refusing to tell Kirby where they came from, and their relationship with him is strained because of it.

Maybe Prime would spin a story of Leo stealing Kirby away from the Krang, and robbing them of their rightful place as a kind of royal heir. Maybe Prime tells Kirby that he inflicted all of Leo's scars while trying to stop Leo from stealing his "beloved child".

Maybe he even claims that Leo is the one who seduced him. Maybe Prime would say that he loved Leo, but that Leo had just been whoring himself out to get close enough to Prime to betray him (just to really get some victim blaming in there). Prime might claim that Leo only took Kirby to use as a hostage against Prime, and that Leo never cared about them at all.

(if Kirby ever repeated that story within earshot of Donnie, their uncle might genuinely try to kill them)

Prime would probably want to possess Kirby. It would probably be easier than possessing Leo, because Kirby is already part Krang. But even then, I think Prime would only regard Kirby as a stepping stone back to Leo--his true obsession. That would really drive home the fact that Kirby's real purpose was to be something that could be used against their father.

If Prime possessed Kirby, I wonder if Leo could bring himself to invite his abuser back into his body, even to save his child? If he couldn't, would Kirby ever forgive him? And if he could, would Kirby ever forgive themself?

^^^^me reading this^^^^

[furiousgoldfish]

Abusers fake being angry so they’d scare&distract you from other shit they’re actually doing.

When they suddenly go from angry -> pleased and smiling, that’s not a coincidence or a display of control over their emotions, they’ve never been actually angry. It’s an act to get you to obey them and once you do, and you’re no longer trying to call them out, their anger has served their purpose and they’re pleased with themselves.

Abusers will fake emotions while they’re accusing you of faking emotions.

[sykesplaining]

Every TERF/radfem blog is just femcel copium. Every single one.

What 0 chad cock does to a t**t

Why not admit you're just the Fox who can't get the grapes and

Go die mad about it!

👌😄

[indizombie]

India is, arguably, facing its deepest crisis in three decades, and except an occasional acronym or unmeaning phrase, can you remember one speech in recent times from this prime minister that seriously energised the nation, brought it together and, most importantly, laid out reasoning and content that showed a sense of vision? Speaking a lot is not the same thing as saying a lot. The deliberate and cumulatively evasive silences of this prime minister now far outweigh the silence of any other prime minister. The pat response to criticism is often that this prime minister has often been name-called; and is often subject to elite snobbery. There is truth in this complaint. But the overuse of this argument to create a self-serving protective shield itself displays the lack of leadership. For a prime minister of six years standing, with a historic mandate, with no real opposition, to constantly play victim is either a sign of a deep insecurity that is incompatible with leadership, or a play act that contemptuously believes that inducing a little dose of self guilt in his constituents is a good way to prevent them from asking tough questions. Don’t question the handling of the economy. Don’t question the strategic brilliance that has made India’s borders more secure.

Pratap Bhanu Mehta, 'India is heading into uncharted waters with no leadership at the helm, just the simulacra of one',

[mawea]

The victim mindset will have you dancing with the devil, then complaining that you're in hell.

[furiousgoldfish]

If you've been living with an abusive or toxic person, it's likely you've faced DARVO tactic of abuse at least once. Ever stood up for yourself only to be accused of being abusive and having to defend yourself, or comfort your abuser about it? You've been darvoed.

DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. This tactic is what abusers use to avoid being held accountable for their actions. The accusations shift the focus from their original offense to discuss the imaginary offenses the victim has done instead, making it extremely hard to hold the abuser to their original deed. It also enables the abuser to receive sympathy and compassion, often even from bystanders, and sometimes from the victim themselves, after being called out for abuse.

For example, you recall an incident where your abuser has called you an offensive insult. You bring it up, and they respond with 'I never said that', and you know they did, but for the sake of the argument, you give a little way to allow that maybe you remembered it wrong (you're being gaslit). Next, they accuse you of imagining things, being crazy, making things up only to hurt them, and claim you're actually doing this to abuse them. They attack your credibility, your sanity, and find more and more outrageous things to accuse you off, making you busy with defending yourself, being outraged at the lies, and unable to stick to your original grievance.

Being accused of being abusive while you're trying to hold someone to their actions, will make it harder to try to address it, harder to argue, and harder to feel that you're correct in doing so. The point is to make you doubt your experience, doubt your sanity, and never try to hold them accountable again.

DARVO is specifically often used by sexual offenders, who are ready to deny it, and on top of it, accuse victim of 'wanting it', or 'making it up on purpose only to smear their name', and then shift the focus to attacking the victim's credibility and morality, so they're no longer able to be held accountable.

Abusers playing the victims and shaming the actual victims is a powerful and effective technique, it's extremely difficult to counter, especially with abusers who know what accusation or insult will work to trigger you, and to cause you an emotional flashback that will make it unable for you to think clearly or hold them accountable for anything. You will be called to justify and explain your own behaviour, when you're already in a vulnerable position asking for explanation and justice for yourself.

The only way to counter darvo is also the only way to counter the most of abuse – having support and community on your side. One person will not be able to shame and gaslight you if you have an entire community behind you, supporting your cause and understanding exactly what happened. During the argument, the best you can do is to refuse to get side-tracked by the accusations, and shift focus back to what the abuser has done, regardless of how much they try to deny and reverse it. It's not always possible, especially if you're experiencing a flashback during it, in which case the best thing to do is to get distance, and to no longer interact with the abuser personally if possible.

Abusers trying to frame the past situation differently, insisting it was a 'misunderstanding', 'not how it happened', or 'they remember it differently', is also DARVO, and part of trying to discredit your memory and your senses of the events in your life. If it had happened differently, you would have remembered it. If it was a misunderstanding, it would have felt like one, it wouldn't have felt like abuse. You know exactly what happened and how it felt. Abusers indulging into long stories about how what you accuse them of hurts their feelings, or triggers them, is especially effective type of darvo attack, where they aim at your sense of guilt and compassion, to drop the accusations and comfort them for being called out for hurting you. You are always, in any situation, correct to call them out. If the truth will kill them, let them die.

Sources: choosingtherapy, banyantherapy, wikipedia