The fact that I’m probably not ever gonna be able to see... clearly? That I’m never gonna see things normally- without a field of static over everything, without seeing lines and flashes of color when it gets just a little bit too dark, without intense pain when looking at anything brighter than my phone on one of the lowest levels (pain that’s bad enough to rival my sensory issues with sunglasses), without negative afterimages that last at least twice as long as they should- really fucks me up sometimes. Usually, I don’t mind, and honestly a lot of the visual phenomena is kind of cool. But then it hits me and it starts to hurt my soul. I’m such a visual person but I won’t ever experience “normal”, it’ll always physically hurt me to watch movies, to be outside without sunglasses/shade of some sort, to look at the fucking walls and floors in my house.
















