Y'all stress is kind of fucked. I've talked ab this before but I dont think I fully explained wtf was going on.
A couple of years ago, I got laryngitis and lost my voice. No big deal right?
Wrong. At the same time, I was failing pretty much all of my classes, dealing with undiagnosed anxiety and depression, and my grandfather had just died.
By the time my mother had come back from the funeral, I had been without a voice for just over a week.
We went back to the doctors. "I don't know, try waiting another week." Still voiceless.
Went back to the doctors. "Try this doctor on base." Okay, go to base. "Try these, oral steroids to reduce swelling in the throat." Didn't work, just made me jittery.
I was recommended for vocal therapy, worked with one doctor for about a month before he recommended we go to the children's hospital in Denver.
Surgery was considered for about half a second before the doctor realized that my vocal chords weren't paralyzed, and therefore a surgery would risk me never speaking again. She said to try vocal therapy again.
I was getting pretty tired of the back and forth, of the Hot Potato between doctors. I didn't think it would work, but at this point my mom was getting pretty close to our insurance not covering the medical expenses, and I figured I should do as well as I could before we were stranded.
I was introduced to a new doctor, at a new vocal therapy facility. Immediately, she gets out a blank notebook, sets up a table for me to record my water intake every day. "At least 60 ml each day, talk to your mom about buying a reusable water bottle with the measurements. No more dairy, at all, get those vitamins elsewhere. Try this tea, use these cough drops, we'll set up your next appointment for next week."
A couple weeks in, she tells me, "I think what's happening is caused by stress."
I was confused. I thought it was caused by laryngitis.
"No, losing your voice was caused by laryngitis. It staying lost is caused by stress. Your brain saw all of the pain you were in, emotionally and mentally, and decided the physical pain caused by talking with laryngitis was just too much. Your brain essentially sent a message to the vocal chords that they weren't allowed to do their job."
At some point, she describes it like a kid being told not to touch the stove because it's hot, but touching it anyways. They get burned, and learn not to touch the stove, but now they need to be taught that it's not always hot.
We needed to trick my brain into giving my vocal chords their job back. I went to vocal therapy at least twice a week for approximately the next 6 months.
The first noise I made after so long without a thing was the letter Z. Just a little buzzing, my mom started calling me a bee. After that came M. My second-first word was Mom. The rest came pretty quickly, with the consequence of everything I said being in a deeper tone than it was before.
Overall, it took 10 months for me to fully regain my voice, though I doubt I'll ever be able to reach the pitch I used to. Bc I got too fucking stressed for my brain to handle. Stress and anxiety can present in such weird ways but at least now I'm hydrated lmao.
