Apr 7, 2015
It’s 4:15 am. I am tired. I want to sleep, to escape all of this at least momentarily but the demons in my head won't stop plaguing me.
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It’s 4:15 am. I am tired. I want to sleep, to escape all of this at least momentarily but the demons in my head won't stop plaguing me.
Not sure how I feel right now. This past month has been crazy. Sleeping tonight will be hard
I've had enough
I have too many feelings about everything. My boyfriend got me into Buffy so I've been binging on it for the past week. I finally get to season five and he tell me to wait for him when I get half way that he wants to be there for me for the rest of season five. I should have listened. I'm here, sitting in my dark silent room at 5 in the morning covered in tears and dog hair because I couldn't listen. Luckily since the series is over I can rant worry free because there are no spoilers to ruin but if you plan on watching it keep scrolling. As soon as I finished episode 16 the name is lost on me at the moment my heart stopped. Sweet lovely Joyce the most wonderful mother a slayer could have is lying motionless with a cold stare to the ceiling. I knew I should have started questioning when I noticed the actresses name in the guest star part of the intro. When her little flashback thing during the theme song disappeared but I didn't bc I thought she's a mom she's been through so much already her relationship with the gang is so close and perfect. But I should have known better. Joss whedon has yet again sewn his little seed into my heart and nurtured it and let it grow till he found the most perfect moment to tear it from me in a bloody witless battle that we were all destined to become victim too. Nothing in the world is good. This wasn't even a finale. My stupid evil boyfriend has already told me that it's an emotional finale. I'm not ready for that. I'll never be ready for it if it's worse than what I just experienced. This is a long post and I have just lost a care in the world to weather you my lovely followers will leave me for it but take it as a warning. Joss is a killer of dreams and happiness and we should all know better than to trust him with our feelings. I am sad. I just had a terrible trip and I am going to stay up for the few hours I have till the sun comes up.