#vorbrumm

[we-are-a-dragon]

Carmen (elf ranger): Team meeting, on deck, right now.

Hera (drow swordmage): *scoffs* Since when are we a team?

Carmen: I have been forced to travel with the four of you against my will, and so far the only one that hasn’t tried to get us all killed is the cow.

Hera: Bitch, I haven’t tried to get us killed.

Carmen: You pulled a sword on the harbourmaster.

Hera: *shrugs* That’s just how I solve problems.

Carmen: You solve problems badly.

Vorbrumm (dwarf barbarian): You don’t tell me what to do.

Carmen: *points at Vorbrumm* You got us into that mess, you don’t get to sulk. You need to stop picking fights. *points at Hera* You need to stop threatening everyone. *points at Gneensa* You need to stop being so scary. *turns to Teedin* ...You’re fine.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM (M): Later that day, the coastline of the mainland comes into view.

Hera (drow swordmage): Phew, almost made it.

DM (M): A storm quickly builds up to the east, and while you’re still several hundred metres out from the harbour you spot a familiar blue dragon flying around.

Vorbrumm (dwarf barbarian): Hold tight lads, it’s going to be a rough ride.

Carmen (elf ranger): You’re not seriously suggesting we sail into that? Throw down the anchor, maybe it won’t notice us and go away.

Vorbrumm: Never turn aside from a fight with a worthy foe! *crazy gleam in eyes*

[we-are-a-dragon]

Vorbrumm (dwarf barbarian): I’m going to check their ship for any remaining pirates.

Carmen (elf ranger): On your own? Do you have a death wish?

Vorbrumm: Yes.

Carmen: *backs away*

[we-are-a-dragon]

Hamish (playing Vorbrumm): I roll almost max damage on my daily! That’s 39 damage... and then the free attack on this other frog for 22!

DM (A): *silently takes miniature off board*

Rhi (playing Carmen): One shot of twin strike on this frog for 12 damage.

DM (A): It dies.

Quinn (playing Gneensa): I crit my twin strike on this frog!

DM (A): *sighs*

Quinn: Pop, pop, pop. Strikers doing work.

[we-are-a-dragon]

Vorbrumm (dwarf barbarian): What happened to you?

Barkeep: (still covered in slime) Oh, shuddup.

Vorbrumm: Make me.

Barkeep: You want a fight?

Vorbrumm: Yeah.

Barkeep: Oh. Well, go down to the basement and fight those mutant frogs.

Vorbrumm: Pour me an ale and consider it taken care of.

[we-are-a-dragon]

Captain: Can any of you sail a boat apart from the bugbear?

Party: ...

Captain: *shakes Vorbrumm awake* Can you sail a boat?

Vorbrumm (dwarven barbarian): *looks down at self* ...No!

[we-are-a-dragon]

Harbourmaster: Five gold each to come ashore.

Hera (drow swordmage): That’s a bit steep.

Vorbrumm (dwarf barbarian): How much is this boat worth?

Harbourmaster: Give me the boat and 70 gold.

Hera: You just said five gold each!

Harbourmaster: Fine. Give me the big boat and ten gold.

Hera: It’s not happening.

[we-are-a-dragon]

DM (M): With only one failure, you pass the skill challenge. The storm passes, leaving you bobbing only a few hundred metres from shore.

Vorbrumm (dwarf barbarian): And the dragon?

DM (M): It’s long gone.

Vorbrumm: That’s the most disappointing thing I’ve heard all day, and it’s been a disappointing day.