#vulnerabilty

[hel7l7]

Is this real, or just your protection? 

[downohsoverybad]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Without the Mask by Justbeyourself205

~6k words

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Minecraft Manhunt dnf fic that has absolutely captured my heart.

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George goes on a walk in the forest at night, happens to get lost, and is saved by a certain criminal. Just his luck.

[vocabulosdosilencio-blog]

Uma carta aberta a todos que ficaram.

A todos meus antigos seguidores, que acompanhavam meus textos por aqui, estou (assim como todo mundo) muito mais ativa em redes sociais “ao lado”. Esses dias tenho sentido uma nostalgia imensa dos tempos de tumblr, em que eu podia me sentir mais aberta e vulnerável para demonstrar certos pontos da minha personalidade e sentimentalismo que se tornaram inviáveis de serem demonstrados de maneira tão transparente em outras plataformas. 

Mas a medida que o mundo evolui, menos gostamos de sermos vulneráveis entre nós. E, temos que aceitar que infelizmente é uma tendência que veio pra ficar. Espero que nos propusemos em sermos vulneráveis em outras redes, que não apenas essa, talvez resgatar um pouco do sentimentalismo que aqui ficava, lentamente sendo substituído por fotos de instagram rs, mas que existiam em um tempo longíquo onde podiámos sermos nós mesmos - acima de tudo e por causa de tudo que víamos aqui. 

Não sei se alguém vai ler esse post, não tenho intenção de reativar essa conta de maneira definitiva. Mas a todos que ficaram, deixarei redes onde possam me encontrar. Me sinto eu mesma em muitas delas, mas nunca fui tão vulnerável e acredito que nunca serei, quanto fui aqui. 

Um até logo, talvez, até mais, 

Vocabulos do Silêncio. 

Instagram: @cinemafilia

Twitter: @fabianalr_

Clubhouse: fabianalima_

TikTok: fabianalimar

[nfunews-blog]

Google will pay hackers - NFU

Google has announced changes to its bounty program in a bid to tackle vulnerabilities found in popular Android apps. Just this week, CamScanner, an app wit

[you-and-i-are-earth]

yesterday I felt suffocated. I couldn’t keep still but I felt like if I moved or spoke I would have convulsions. My environment felt harsh and languid. I just wanted to lie down. I was very against myself, unconsciously. I got some fresh air, got on the bus, was petrified to look around me but then I did and I noticed how solemn everyone else looked. Or at least tired. Or at least in their own heads. And I laughed a little to myself. Why was I so afraid? Why did I make everything so heavy? And my bus driver was bonkers. In a great way, from what I could see. His lucid insanity comforted me. Right before getting off he told me that I was very smart and that he could tell by my eyes. I walked away feeling a little lighter. He honked and waved a farewell, ridiculous and kind of wonderful. But I still had work to do. I made a quick dinner and ate it hastily. I laid down, wanting to talk to someone who would just listen. About everything and nothing. And I started thinking monotonous thoughts about the self. What is the self? How am I allowed to express it? How dare I think about what’s “allowed”? Don’t you know that’s self sabotage? Don’t you laugh and cry and say there’s room for everyone? And I was thinking.. how crazy it is just to be alive. I am alive. I am in this body. I am an individual. I can and should take up space. But also, I am one of billions of species at this point of time and there have been billions of species before me and all kinds of crazy, insane, wonderful people. Not to be anthropocentric. One cannot comprehend the vast multitudes of life that are and have been. And I thought, how wonderfully freeing the paradox is. That we each inhabit individual bodies with the power to love and feel and create and connect with others. And we are also just tiny, tiny organisms part of who really knows what. So, why box myself in?

[expressions-ecstasy-blog]

i’m a piece of art

just trying to find my pen

someone willing to explore me 

in and out 

beginning to end

- im vulnerable as i can be, hoping she will see me for me

[stopcryijng]

The mystic’s experience of falling in love with God is comparable to the love of the moth for the flame. The moth upholds the flame and beats itself on the glass of the lantern. Bruised and weary, it returns to its companions and describes the beauty of the thing it has experienced. Finally, consumed with an insatiable love for god, the moth breaks the glass to become the flame.

Words by Soho Rezanejad; Love's a Raging Prey

[3rd-decade]

The healing is not my fault but it is my responsibility.  It’s wild how almost everything on this list I feel, know I’ve faced (am facing,) or I’ve worked past. Most of them I’m still working on. 

Guilt

I really don’t feel guilt about anything. I used to have inklings of survivor’s guilt. Well, I guess I’ve obsessed over guilt when I’ve done something I know I shouldn’t have or wish I could’ve made better choices - I thought that was just human tho. 

Feel Abandoned

Very often I do feel abandoned if I’m not invited somewhere or introduced to someone. I notice this most in my intimate relationships - if they go out and I’m not invited (knowing that we both need our individual time and space and wanting that... but also feeling as though I want to feel important enuf to also be invited even if I’m not too keen on the folk.) A handful of times I can also recount where I felt abandoned or betrayed by my partner of the time because they chose a different outing instead of one with me. If I’m out in a crowd or group of people and I see people talking I usually think they’re talking about me or judging me. If someone doesn’t talk to me or say hi I automatically think that they hate me or something - although there are cases of envy, jealousy and what not it’s not the case every time.  Over Responsible

Over responsible, I’ve felt this in my personal relationships; family, friends and lovers. Like I need to constantly go the extra mile to provide things that will make their life easier - even though it’s something that they should and can handle by themselves.  Obsessively Worry What Others Think Of You

I fasho obsessively think about what other people may think of me. That’s one of the major things I want to change about my mind frame - to not give a fuck and just be me 1000%. From what I wear, what I do, where I go, how I dance, what I say, what I create, etc etc. I owe it to my younger Self, present Self and future Self to just let it all hang out and BE. Even now as I type this on my Tumblr with 0 followers or onlookers I’m editing what/how I say something with the other in mind. 

Never Feel Good Enough

I used to never feel good enough but this is definitely something that I have moved past. There might still be moments and triggers but for the most part I know that I good enough and in some instances more than good enough. 

Immature Dysfunctional Parents All 4 of my parents were immature to to an extent and definitely dysfunctional but doesn’t mean they were without love and care - one set of parents struggled with addiction issues and the other set of parents were very young when they took guardianship of me. So, they were really kids themselves trying to raise a highly traumatized child.  You Feel Stuck And Don’t Know How To Change It Been here way too many times. The feeling is in my chest a bit - these past 3 years I’ve felt this; knowing I didn’t want to stay in the situation or city I was/am in. I’m to a point now where I’m making changes - I got a 2nd job to aid in paying things off so I can save up for my own place and car. I’m working out, getting my body and mind back, creating a routine that works for me.  You Cling Or Push People Away Yeah, this is a major one I’m really still trying to manage and figure out. It’s almost as if I’ve spent so much of my life pleasing others, chasing others that I want them to please me and chase me even if I push them away. It’s like I’m almost testing people to see how much they really care or love me (?) But I know sometimes when I really just want to be held and nurtured I end up pushing people away that try to do that. Then there are moments where I am clingy to a person when I was just pushing them away. And now that I’m typing this out it reminds me of my relationship with my biological mom - I don’t think she intended to push and pull but that’s what the addiction did to her and since my birth it’s been engrained in me in a way. I know it’s very possible to undo that pattern and create a new one. It’s mandatory at this point especially with how I want to create meaningful, lasting relationships with friends, family and lovers. I need to learn how to accept and receive without worrying if they’re going to leave.  Rocky, Unfulfilling Relationships I’ve definitively had my fair share - more than the good, solid and stable ones. Working on this majorly because I’m ready for a peaceful, emotionally intelligent and unconditionally partnership in love.  You Stay When You Should Go Yeah. It’s like, I have to see it through and if there’s anything else I can do I want to do it. But no, I know it’s not beneficial for my mental or physical health. Working on this, and I mean in a way all these things work together. When I learn to heal the root then theoretically all these things should change/heal as well.