my late friend @hsaijou drew my it lives ships for me. she was one of the kindest sweetest and most talented souls I've ever met, and it was an honor to have them in my life. I'm forever grateful.
row 1 (left to right): devon hunter/andy kang, tom sato/harper vance
row 2: ro salvador/abel flint, amalia de leon/amor rodriguez
I am so happy you were able to join our exchange this year. I had a lot of fun reading through your blog to get to know your characters and pairings a little better. I've haven't played ILW yet, but I am interested in your Matthias x Wan pairing so I commissioned this art for you of them. The art is by @wisejazz. I hope you enjoy it! 💚❤️💚❤️
thinking about how wan and mattyass both have masks in the physical, emotional and subconscious sense.
first there's juan's make-up and matty's minor Illusion cantrip magics. then there's how mattyass prides himself on being able to hide behind a calm composure while wan dons on a smile and snarky remark to disguise the pain.
and then there's how mattyass' psyche tries to tuck his insecurity and guilt and shame under the mountainload of Justification and Egotism (ooh an interesting question is if hes lying about never forgiving himself - OR is he lying to himself about being a grand Puppet Master? someone who's finally made something of himself built on a throne of skull and bone. are you proud of that, little man with everything and nothing?)
in sharp contrast to wan, puppet of all puppets, who has sinks into their insecurities of being an out-of-control monster who hurts their loved ones
i think they both end up in toxic, self-defeating cycles where mattyass Bullshits justifies every sin under the sun as something that needs to be done as he wears his lil arrogant king of delusion crown... while wan ends up lashing out and pushing people away because they think they're so far below their loved ones
ultimately, however, wan is never alone. he has support from lia, abel, lincoln, joss and everyone else who's alive, and they have that connection that makes them want to do better and help others do better too.
pink hair - juan "wan" capili, they/he, snarky drag queen. resposible for showing mattyass and lincoln tiktok in separate timelines.
purple hair - ronaldo "ro" salvador, he/him, genuine softie future professor and husband of abel. will not hesitate to deck someone who hurts the puppy mans.
black hair - amor rodriguez, she/her, lia's #1 fan and beta reader. aggressively loves the childhood friends to lovers trope for some reason.
blue hair - reggie "reg" custodio, she/they. loves to annoys joss with her sarcasm and serenades. beanie buds with noah.
Bonus: devon "at least 7 people are in love with me" hunter (bottom left) & harper "now has the one gay earring" vance (bottom right) <3
thinking about evil!wan capili, queen of delusion, mattyass' equal in love, loneliness and also possibly murdering the people you love.
for someone who grew up with nothing (who has nothing, who is nothing) mattyass' promises and praises are a siren's lure. the crown of thorns and blood on their temples that drip down to their hands is all worth it to be with the man who has everything (the man who is juan's everything).
if canon!wan's arc is about learning how to love yourself and be a better person for your loved ones, then evil!wan's is the opposite. it's about an all-consuming, all-encompassing truth that has no room for doubt, for growth, for truth.
but not even matthias, in all his power, can take away wan's self-loathing. all he can give is the illusion of choice.
all wan ever wanted is love, but it's not enough. mattyass has built them palaces out of paragraphs, given them a throne on top of a hill of dead bodies. but just like matthias, wan will never forgive themself for what it took to get here.
unlike matthias, they are ambitious. things can be better, can't they?
("i can save you," canon!wan would beg. "matthias, you can be better, you can change."
"i can make you worse." evil!wan would smile. "matthias, why stop with westchester?")
because evil!wan would feel so hollow, so empty that they need to fill the void in their soul with more than just mattyass' attention, more than what he could give.
so at one point, mattyass' dear creature would turn to him with that wicked grin on their face that he's only seen in the mirror. "darling, you said i'm something the likes of which the world has never seen, right? then let them see me."
matthias may have started the show, but wan is bringing it to the main stage.
