BLACK UMBRELLAS
XIAO DEJUN
Prologue: It wasn’t easy to hold onto your emotions when you find yourself in the same dine-in where your ex boyfriend sings. The pain was too much to bear.
Genre: Angst + Ex boyfriend Xiaojun
Wordcount: 1,308
Warnings: None
People meet. There is this glance-passing interaction. Then comes the lure of human nature. I know you like me, you know I like you. There are a hundred faces you see every day, some of whom understand this theory of yours. Life is all about fun, and in your world, emotions and sentiments kill the fun.
Relationships are meant to be for a night, or maybe if it was for some rare chance, more, and then in the morning, everyone has their own path to take and it's best if they bury the past behind.
Amongst your lengthy list of boys, the one that lasted the longest on the pitch was for around five months.
There was no denying you had fun, and this fun was very different from your past ones.
Simple things with him brought you absolute joy, whether it was going out to get melon popsicles in the summer heat or clicking pictures for the gram in the trial rooms and never actually buying them. He laughed at your worst joke, he got up from the bed to switch off the lights, and he let you have the last slice of pizza. He lent you a shoulder to cry on, he gave you the best cuddles. He was different.
-
This evening, the streets and the sky were both grey and deserted. As the clouds veiled the stars, the dusty wind swept through the concrete. Those sounds were eolian. Everything that was carried away by the winds, including leaves and twigs, empty soda cans, discarded polythene, and other debris, flew here and there.
What was also grey and deserted was your heart. You were lonely.
Being physically surrounded by people all the time, sharing laughs and gossip, did not always necessarily bring happiness. Times like these made you miss him the most.
A dine-in that appeared to be new in town caught your attention. "The Melting Pot", the board read with huge yellow and red lights. You decided to step in. It would be good both for your body and heart, you needed some comfort.
The smell of the wooden furniture and the smells of their cooking mingled together beautifully in the low light. You secured a table near the enormous glass. The raindrops traced their way down, taking unprecedented paths, going with the flow while it was bucketing down outside.
It would have been pretty subtle and swift if it were not for what happened next. "An unusually long day. But it's not too bad because you're warm~" These words mixed themselves in the atmosphere. No, it was not just about those painful lyrics. It was the voice, and it was his voice.
You froze at the moment, a sudden rush of numbness running through your veins that was accompanied by a warm and welcoming feeling in the heart, as if it could make you cry instantly.
"You are a miracle to me, I wish you could see it
Spreading all over me, a gift called you
You're my night and day~"
He proceeded with the song, perfectly hitting all the notes with those guitar chords. His voice held so much pain, a pain too much to bear. Oh! It was breaking your heart.
Thanks to your long hair and black baseball cap, your face could not be recognized. You took it as an advantage to face the man. He sat there on the only chair in front of the wall studded with golden fairy lights, adding more to his glow in an off-whitish sweater, resembling a baby lamb. His dark hair concealed his forehead, and his hands were occupied by his rustic brown guitar, something very dear to him.
"Cause I can live with it, You're my everything~"
He finished tonight's performance, leaving the room with applause and also tears in your eyes.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, but we are closing." Another man dressed in a three-piece informed you, you took a glance at your phone and left the table soon after you paid.
The exit was towards the left, but you took the right instead, intentionally. Your eyes followed the man, who was now packing up.
"Dejun?" you called his name, with a tone that depicted absolute pain, regret, and need at the same time.
He turned back to face you, still smiling. It was not a smile from the heart, you knew him. His lips curved that way every time he was vulnerable.
"Last time you looked at me like that, you broke my heart." He stated, fidgeting his head and fingers, turning away his eyes from you. He stayed like that for a minute or two, continuously looking towards the left, shaking his head and swallowing that lump in his throat before turning back to his task. You knew he was on the verge of crying anytime.
"I never wanted to hurt you!" You broke down in tears.
Xiaojun paid zero attention. He hung his backpack, carried his guitar case and left, walking away right past you.
Even if you wanted to let him go a few months back, for some reason, this time, you knew you could not afford it.
You followed him in the streets. It was still heavily raining, but the winds ceased, making it suitable enough to walk. You were following his figure, the one with the same black umbrella as yours.
"Why are you doing this to me?" He said sternly, without turning back. He must have realised you were following him, for yours were the only footsteps on the street other than his.
The silence could still be heard, along with the rain.
"You said you were bored of me." He added.
The glass of silence stood still again for seconds, then shattered by the noise of the delivery motorbike. "Vroom!" It went by slowly.
"I love you!"
You screamed at the man with all your might.
"I dialled your number a thousand times. Why didn't you ever pick it up?
The shouting continued. Xiaojun stayed the same, he did not move, and neither did he look back.
"I know I don't deserve this but don't leave me alone Dejun!" You fell on your knees as you let your emotions out. Your umbrella fell to the side, being terribly crushed by the rain.
It was difficult to tell your tears apart from the raindrops.
"If you loved me as much as you said, then please don't ever call me again. I don't think I'll ever be over you". Xiaojun stated, trying his best to hold back his tears. The pain could still be heard in his voice.
"Who do you think of when you sing all these songs?"
"I want to protect your days and nights. You are a miracle to me, I wish you could see it.~”
You still remembered these words. They were buried in your heart with those memories. The happy times of life when he would sing this song for you, only for you.
The black umbrella fell out of Xiaojun's grip. It was upside down, just like your umbrella, which now had the rainwater overflow. It was not easy for them to keep burdening themselves with that weight of pain, much like your hearts.
You were both drenched in the water, and in the pain.
He finally turned back, crying.
The moment was too hurtful to bear.
The rain was gloomy, but it was also ecstasy.
It was ecstasy for you when he held his arms open, allowing you to come back to him. He dropped everything that was precious to him, to get back the one most precious of them all.
You got up from your knees and ran to him, not caring about slipping and falling, because you had these arms to hold you. You and your heart.
"After a long wait, you're the one~"
You're my everything.
SONG IN THE FIC - NCT U - My Everything
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