Sometimes I lay awake thinking about a Neal Caffrey who was once a part of the Wayne family. He never wanted to be a vigilante, not after what happened to Jason. He saw what it did to Bruce. To Dick. He was a part of the family but he never fit in. He was not a vigilante, he didn't want to be one. He was brought into the family by Selina who found him on the streets. She considers him one of her Strays. Alfred is not fond of little Danny Brooks and the feeling is quite mutual. Danny sees through the saint-like facade of Alfred. He knows what type of man he is under the mask of the sassy competent British butler.
After Jason's death, Danny tries his best to look after Bruce. He begs Dick to not leave them alone. Bruce needs him, Danny needs him but he is too hurt by what happened to Jason that Dick just leaves. Even though he understands that Dick was just grieving, Danny never really forgave Dick because of the way he hurt Bruce. The oldest Wayne may not be his father but he was his only family after Aunt Ellen. And no one gets away with hurting Danny's family.
All changes when Tim enters the picture. Despite being from very different backgrounds and having different ambitions, Tim and Danny surprisingly get along. They are close in age and are united by a mutual goal of taking care of Bruce. However when Tim decides that he is going to be Robin with or without Bruce's support, Danny is scared. He sees that uniform and is reminded of a brother he never got to truly know. All he got from Jason was his love for the classics. Danny cannot take this anymore, so he just leaves.
But he still loves his pseudo father figure so he always writes to Bruce and Tim. He doesn't expect a reply because Danny never stays in one place long enough to receive a letter. After he turns 18, he becomes Neal Caffrey. A conman. He has learnt from the best how to hide his true nature, how to deceive, how to smile and be charming. He got it from his father Bruce. All the art that Neal forges, steals and creates, reminds him of the walls at the Wayne Manor. Of how Bruce used to tell him about Martha Wayne's love for art and how little Bruce used to sit with her to paint. It was Bruce who taught Neal how to paint.
Neal still sends letters to Gotham. When he gets caught by Peter, he has half a mind to tell Bruce about it but he doesn't want the Waynes to be associated with a convicted felon like him. It's bad PR. So he just regularly sends them letters, this time with a return address. He still doesn't expect a reply because he thinks that Alfred probably just throws away the letters without telling Bruce.
With four months remaining on his sentence, Neal receives a letter from Tim about how Jason came back, about the youngest al Ghul-Wayne, about Cass and Stephanie. About how Bruce is dead and Tim believes that he is still alive. Lost but alive. About how Dick fired him as Robin. And now that Tim is not living in the Manor, he can freely write to Neal without Alfred hovering over him. Overcome with emotion, he writes to Tim to come and visit him in the Sing-Sing. And that he trusts Tim. If he says it with conviction that Bruce is alive, then he must be alive. Because Tim is the most clever person he knows. And he trusts Tim's intuition.
After Tim comes to visit him in the guise of an old girlfriend, he tells Neal that he plans to find the League of Assassins to help him get Bruce back. Neal begs him to not do this. He cannot lose another brother. But Tim is stubborn. And he leaves without another word. Neal is distraught. So he escapes his prison and finds Neal gallivanting as Alvin Draper. Well, Neal's presence doesn't change much in canon but it does make sure that Tim has a spleen. A win if you ask me.
With Bruce back and looking at the dysfunctional state of the family, for once in his life, Neal decides to stay. To make sure Tim is loved, safe and cared for. To make sure this time, he gets to know Jason. He also has a sister now! He always wanted one. He also has a grumpy young brother now. And maybe, he can finally forgive Dick. Only after he apologises to Tim.
Watching White Collar for the first time from the perspective that it's Dick Grayson undercover (haven't figured out WHY yet, though I know League of Assassins in the FBI is a popular fanon) is actually insane because so far (6 episodes in) there hasn't been so much as a single line that breaks the illusion. Sure there's some Neal-backstory stuff I'm not sure what the "explanation" is for yet, but practically every scene from Neal is EXACTLY what I'd expect him to say/do/feel if he was Dick Grayson undercover.
There are even little things that just Make More Sense, like Neal somehow arranging a fancy venue for a fashion week party off-screen, or how when Peter, rattling off the virtues of a woman Neal might be interested in, says "she bakes cookies for orphans" it THROWS him for a moment and he repeats it in a stunned (dare I say sort of homesick) way, or when Moz says to him "You're Robin-" he immediately TURNS his face/body away from him before Moz finishes "Hood"
For all the white collar/DC stuff I see, Peter Burke is never a member of the batfamily. In Fact, it's far more likely for him to be dumbed down to make "Neal" seem smarter. He's not perfect, but he is smart and knows what he's doing most of the time.
So why not have him be subtly teaching Bat tactics to both his wife and team? Why not give him his own shady contacts? Why not give Peter Burke skills that no one knows about to be revealed at awkward times? Why not leave the team scrambling when they realize how much Peter doesn't care about the law?
If you’re one of the hundred + comments I havent responded to yet IM SORRY IM GETTING TO IT I PROMISE but just look at this. Come on. U gotta admit it was worth it. Please do not feel neglected 🙏
A normal person would be terrified staring down the barrel of Deathstroke the Terminator’s gun, especially while chained up in the basement of someone who wants them dead. Tim’s no exception there. But a normal person would fear for their life. Fear that the mercenary will pull the trigger. Tim, on the other hand, would almost prefer that to what’s about to come.
“Neal,” Peter whispers pleadingly beside him. “Don’t antagonize the hitman.”
Under the mask, Slade’s lip quirks up into a smirk. Tim hates that he knows the man well enough to recognize it through the fabric. “Oh don’t worry, agent,” Slade drawls. “I’d never hurt my favorite brother-in-law.”
Tim knows when he hears the gunshot that Slade has raised the gun from his head to aim at the chain keeping him suspended from the ceiling—a position that Red Robin could absolutely escape from, but Neal Caffrey could not. With his feet now on solid ground, Tim can pick the locks on the remaining chains without showcasing any skills he shouldn’t have. He should be grateful. He’s not.
“I think you’ve got it from here, birdie. See you around.” Slade leaves the basement, apparently content to let Tim finish his own rescue now that he can do so without blowing his cover.
He hasn’t even finished picking the second lock before the room erupts into questions. Bruce would forgive him, he thinks, if he made just this one exception to the Rule. Dick wouldn’t.
Tim allows himself a single, deep sigh; and Neal Caffrey opens his mouth to field his team’s questions. The things he does for family.
You're visiting your brother in New York who's currently undercover as (alleged) art forger, and current CI for the White Collar unit, Neal Caffrey. When he gets sick, you do the only thing to do. Step in and go undercover yourself. Good thing most of your family has already been Neal before so the office shouldn't bat an eye. (Hehe, bat)
White Collar x DC Crossover Week Day 4 - Thursday, June 26
Neal is a Malone || Alfred is in on it || Secret Relationship
for @whitecollardcweek 's WCxDC crossover week 2025
title is painting again :))
crossposted on ao3
wc: 2k+
It’s a sign of Peter’s acceptance of the situation, that your family has tortured this man enough that he’s on stage 7 and just sighs when he sees you in the Neal suit.
You grin the trademark Caffrey grin and get in the car with Peter.
“Good morning, Peter,” you greet cheerfully.
He just sighs when he looks at you.
“Are we stopping for coffee first?”
“You’re actually on time for once, so I guess we have time,” he says reluctantly.
“Why so gloomy this morning? Did you miss me that much?” you tease.
He side-eyes you, probably debating whether or not to call you out on your different appearance. But you weren’t the second, third or even seventh Neal to grace his presence, and you weren’t going to give him an inch.
”You can’t go in to work today! You’re sick!”
“Steph and Cass are in Hong Kong, Tim has WE things, Alfred is busying wrangling B and Damian, and-” He was cut off by a sneeze “-Duke can’t miss school. I’m the only one who can be Neal Caffrey, I have to go,” he wheezed.
You handed him the box of tissues. “Call in sick, I’m sure Peter would understand. Even CIs are allowed sick days.”
“No, there’s too much to do. I need to get those files for, for-” he sneezed again.
“Dick,” you groaned. “You’re not going in to work today, you need to rest. Drink lots of water, eat something, shower, sleep.”
He shook his head vehemently. “No, I’m going in-” He started to cough and grabbed his water.
“You’re not going in to work today,” you said as Dick put his glass down to argue but you continued before he got anything out. “I will go in to work today. I’ll be Neal for the day, ok?”
You walk into the office behind Peter and toss your hat onto the Socrates bust in the classic Neal style, grinning at your coworkers (Neal’s coworkers). … (And also your coworkers because they were federal agents and you were a federal agent… You weren’t going to think too hard about that right now, you were going to ignore that possible future complication until it decided to become a problem. Which was hopefully never.)
You sit down at your desk and pull up the first file. “Mortgage fraud,” you groaned.
No one liked mortgage fraud. Not that you couldn’t all do it, you prepared for it and learned and practiced together to be Neal, and that included knowing about all Neal’s cases so you could do them yourselves, it was just that it was mortgage fraud and mortgage fraud was so tedious with all the numbers and double checking documents. All of you preferred chasing after criminals over sitting at a desk doing mortgage fraud, even out of the Caffrey suit. You disliked paperwork at your regular FBI job, now you were back in an office doing it on your days off. By choice.
But Neal was a hard worker, and you weren’t a slacker, so you got to work.
“So, Caffrey…” Diana leans against your desk.
“Yes, Diana?”
“We still on for that thing this Friday?”
Immediately you know she’s up to something. This was the game they played every once in a while, try to get one of you to slip up and prove you weren’t the “real” Neal Caffrey.
“Hmm,” you pretend to think about it. “I don’t recall us having a thing this Friday, unless you’re referring to your date night with Christie and the fact that you, uh-” you glance around to see if anyone is within eavesdropping range “-the thing we talked about that you made me promise I wouldn’t spill.”
“Hmmm.” Diana considers you and you lean back in your chair in the most Caffrey way possible, grinning at her.
“I thought we were friends, Diana,” you tease. “Don’t you trust me?”
“Not at all, Neal,” she says.
“Ouch, I’m hurt,” you pout, throwing a hand on your chest dramatically. “Do you think you’ll change your mind when I tell you we thought of the perfect answer to your inquiry?”
“We?” Diana raises an eyebrow.
“Me and Moz, of course,” you lied. “You can’t expect me to keep anything from him, can you? He’s my best friend, and he’d never spill your secrets, Diana.”
She studies you a moment longer before sighing.
“Buuuuuuut, if you’re talking about that exhibition in a couple weeks, then yes,” you flash a grin at her, “we’re still on.”
“Go back to work, Caffrey.” She pushes off your desk and returns to her own.
You turn back to the mortgage fraud file in front of you but take a moment to silently relax from the anxiety of fearing you’d be caught, no time to think about that now, being in the lion’s den and all that. You shake your head, to physically get the wiggles out before going back to cross checking the numbers in front of you.
The day is a relatively easy one, in the sense that no big case comes in and you just sit at your desk suffering through mortgage fraud file after mortgage fraud file.
At the end of the day, you hop up to Peter’s office and lean inside, knocking on the wall as almost an afterthought.
“Hey Peter.”
He looks up at you, then down at his watch and curses. “I’ve got to get to dinner with El.”
You grin as you watch him shut off his computer and shrug his jacket on. “Going to that Thai place Elizabeth talked about going to last week?”
“Yeah, we have a reservation for 7 but she wanted to go on a walk to the park with Satchmo first.”
“Have fun,” you smile at him. “I just came to tell you that I was off, I don’t need a ride home.”
“Oh, good. Thanks, Neal, see you tomorrow.”
“Bye, Peter!” you call out as he rushes to the elevator. You smile after him and wander back to your own desk to pick up your hat and flip it onto your head, Neal Caffrey style. You aren’t in a rush to get back, although you do want to check in on Dick. You wave to a few lingering agents and make your way to the stairs.
You jog up the stairs to Neal’s apartment and hope Dick had rested during the day. He deserved it.
You unlock the door and walk in, almost immediately you stop and stare.
“Alfred?”
“Good evening. Master Dick is in bed on strict orders to remain there until dinner which is almost ready,” he says as he manoeuvres briskly around the kitchen.
You nod. “Ok. Can I help with anything?”
“If you wish, you may set the table. Master Damian has informed me he will be joining us as well tonight.”
“Ok.” You had not expected to see Alfred out here, but it warms your heart that Dick hadn’t been alone the whole day. You set out the dishes, and when Alfred permits it, help him lay out the food.
“Where is Richard?”
You look over to see Damian standing by an open window. You nod your head towards the bedroom.
“He is resting but as dinner is ready you may get him and bring him here, Master Damian,” Alfred says.
He nods and disappears around the corner.
They both come out a minute later and wander over, Dick blearily wiping his eyes.
“How’re you feeling?”
He groans and plops down in a seat. “I wish I got hit by a bus instead.”
You snort as Alfred serves you all before sitting down himself.
“What happened at school today, Damian?”
He tuts. “It was school. It is a pointless undertaking and a complete waste of my time.”
You hum and finish chewing your food. “Maybe, but I’m sure Dick would love to hear all about it from you.”
Damian scowls. “The students there are imbeciles, but art class is acceptable. We’re learning different painting techniques.” He huffs. “And I suppose we’re learning about different species of animals and their classifications in science which is bearable.”
“That’s awesome, Dami,” Dick smiles at him, and you pretend not to notice that Damian’s frown softens. “And how was being Neal Caffrey today?” Dick teases you.
“An almost unbearable amount of mortgage fraud cases to flip through, but here I am, I survived,” you deadpan.
“Thanks for-”
“No need to thank me, I was happy to do it, although I was hoping for some jewelry theft maybe, ya know, something more interesting than mortgage fraud all day,” you joke.
Dick’s chuckle turns into a cough.
“And there’s no way you’re going in tomorrow either. I’m still off for a little while, so just face it, Dick, you’re stuck with me.”
“Fine, fine.”
“You must rest, Richard, if you are to return as Neal Caffrey or Nightwing,” Damian declares.
“Alright, little D, I won’t go in tomorrow,” Dick promises, ruffling his hair, to which Damian scowls and ducks away.
“So, Alfred. Are you going to be Neal tomorrow while Dick gets better?” you joke.
“I was Neal once and I believe that was enough. I do not wish to antagonize Special Agent Peter Burke into a pre-mature heart attack, especially since he has such a lovely wife.”
You chuckle.
“His dog is wonderful. He is barely tolerable,” Damian sneers.
Dick coos, which quickly turns into coughing. “Such high praise coming from you, Baby Bat,” he says when he’s able to breathe again.
Damian scowls. “You should not strain yourself while you are incapacitated, Richard, there is an art exposition at the museum you promised to take me to next week. Unless you would prefer to reschedule.”
“No, no, of course not, Dami, I’ll-” he sneezes.
Damian tuts and gets out of his chair to tug Dick out of his. “You need to rest if you are to conquer this infection.”
Dick ruffles Damian’s hair again. “I love you too, Baby Bat.”
He tugs Dick faster but doesn’t otherwise argue.
You watch them wander over to the bed with a soft smile, hoping Damian doesn’t end up coming down with a cold too.
You stand up with Alfred and help him clear the table and wash the dishes.
“When are you going back?” you ask him while drying a plate.
“Shortly,” he replies. “I will be support on comms tonight, but Master Dick needed to be checked on.” He glances over at you as he washes a pan. “It is good that you are here to keep an eye on him.”
“I do what I can.” You give a small smile.
“And that he has company. Being Neal Caffrey can get lonely when one wears his mask for so long.”
You nod. “Especially because of the mask,” you agree.
Eventually all the dishes are cleaned, and you go to check on your brothers with Alfred. You smile at the sight of them curled up together, fast asleep.
“I can wake him up early enough to take a Zeta to Gotham for school,” you murmur, loathe to wake them up when they look so peaceful.
Alfred has a small smile on his face under his moustache. “I’m sure they both need their rest. Very well, I will bid you a goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Alfred.”
He nods with his small smile and leaves the apartment.
You gather up your blankets again and make your bed on the couch.
Today had been a new experience. You hadn’t been Neal before, even if you’d paid attention to all the Neal briefings before and practiced with your siblings so you could be Neal Caffrey should the situation warrant it. Today had been one of those times and you were glad you were able to step up so Dick could rest (he did not get enough).
You had enjoyed being Neal Caffrey temporarily. (Even with all the mortgage fraud). Tomorrow you’d go back into the White Collar office and hope for a different case, less mortgage fraud, and that no one recognised you as an FBI profiler from Quantico.
You set your alarm for the next morning and think about which suit to wear. Alfred was right, in the short term, Neal Caffrey was a fun mask to wear. But wear it too long, and it gets exhausting. You think about the mission and how long it’ll take until your family retires the Neal Caffrey alias. The answer to that was not until there were no more spies and assassins in the office; which you were purging slowly but surely. Eventually there would come a day where it would be free of them and Neal would run or disappear or die and no one would need to wear the Caffrey mask anymore.
… Until the next time a long-term undercover mission came up and you were all called back to action. Your lives could be chaotic like that, but you never regretted the chaos your chosen family brought into your life, it was what made it entertaining after all.
~~~
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so if dick grayson is neal caffrey. and shane hollander's actor (hudson williams) wants to play nightwing. does that mean neal is dick is shane??
can dick be a secret hockey player??? can neal?? what about shane's parents. what about bruce wayne. nobody is taking away ilya but what about idk all the people we ship dick with. shane being suave like dick and neal??
choices choices so many choices to make this crack take work out
