#we stan jaskier

[jaskier-cult]

Jaskier gets black coffee. he has a gut of steel and will eat anything and everything and never get sick.

Geralt needs five sugars in his coffee with whip cream and caramel syrup

you can't tell me otherwise

[jaskier-cult]

i love the geraskier dynamic where Geralt is the only one with any morals in the relationship, and frequently has to stop Jaskier's murder attempts, lest he end up having to hide a body, too

[jaskier-cult]

au where Jaskier is naturally a blonde but he dyes his hair brown

[jaskier-cult]

Lambert: i dare you -

Geralt, not even looking up from his Gwent game: Jaskier isn't allowed to take dares

Lambert: why not??

Jaskier: APPARENTLY i have "no regards for my personal safety"

*

Later:

Lambert: anyway, want to go jump off a bridge?

Jaskier, who has known this man for less than a few hours, already taking off his boots: absolutely -

inspired by this post

[jaskier-cult]

Geralt: i just want to hear those three words

Jaskier: i love you

Geralt: try again

Jaskier: ... i will behave

inspired by this post

[jaskier-cult]

humans are space orcs

okay there is a lot of “Geralt doesn’t realize how weak humans are” fics with whump Jaskier and guilty Geralt, proceeded by lots of fluff

BUT

what if we take a different approach?? like “humans are space orcs” but Witcher edition

so witchers think humans are a lot more vulnerable and weak than they actually are, just because directly, a witcher could very easily hurt and maim a human.

so imagine Geralt’s surprise at just how stubborn Jaskier is, and how far he can persevere and push with adrenaline and sheer willpower alone?? and like imagine Jaskier beheading a vampire on accident, simply because he was ambushed and on pure instinct, grabbed Geralt’s sword and fought because “i’m not dying today, bitch”

just.

it’s like aliens trying to figure out how humans work, and constantly being surprised at our hardiness. and eventually they’re like “WAIT YOU CAN DO THAT??”

and everyday on the path Jaskier scares Geralt shitless

give me that

[jaskier-cult]

Jaskier: i scare people because i walk very softly and they don’t hear me so when they turn around i’m just kind of there and their fear fuels me

Geralt: how did you get in my house

Jaskier: exactly

[jaskier-cult]

Jaskier: “Oh look, a squirrel!”

Yennefer, mockingly: “Wow, you know your animals.”

Jaskier, smiling: *points at Yennefer*

Jaskier: “Oh look, a bitch!”

Jaskier: *cackling*

Jaskier: *is shot with lightning*