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Experimentation
We had a conversation about subjective reality earlier. How one person’s view of the world may not make an ounce of sense to someone else, whether that’s due to different experiences, different backgrounds, different mental states or whatever. If reality is just a social construct, how do we know anything is what we believe it is?
It wasn’t that deep, don’t worry xD
But it made us think. From the outside, my guys are more than likely looked at as “imaginary friends”, “Muses”, “RP characters” or even just make believe. I daresay there are plenty of people who read this blog that think I’m making it all up, or “world building/character developing” to put it a nicer way. I don’t actually mind that. What you think has no bearing on me or my guys. They’re real to me and that’s not going to change anytime soon.
We got curious though. What if, somewhere down the line, I start thinking of them as “characters” or as simply make believe? I’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen too many people turn their backs on SoulBonds and Inner Worlds to concentrate on the “real world” and truthfully, it breaks my heart a little every time. I’m not judging. To an extent, I can sort of understand their reasoning even if I don’t share the desire - viva la vida and do it the way YOU want to - happiness is important.
Ami thought of it. I think I got a bit of a sadistic streak in my curiosity...
*snorts* Maybe a wee bit! xD We decided that nobody would try to speak to me, wouldn’t offer opinions, wouldn’t engage in any way. I was not to think of them, wasn’t to speak to them internally, wasn’t to let my mind wander to any of our adventures or memories. Basically, I was to act and think like... like I imagine most rational and “normal” adults do. Concentrate on what was going on around me and the task I was doing as opposed to nattering away to them, reminiscing, planning adventures and just conversing the way we normally do all day every day.
It sounded fairly easy, I didn’t think we’d have much problem with it - but I refused to let it go on for longer than half an hour.
Which was fine with me!
With me also!
xD
So it began. It was 4pm and we were not to interact in any way until 4.30.
Thus began the longest thirty minutes of my life to date - and that includes that time I was stuck on a bus with no A/C on a hot day and there was far too much sweaty skin FAR too close to me x(
How the hell do normals do it?! No jokes, no little observations, no half amused/half exasperated questions on just why that tin has no label, what on earth the yowling cat wants, no laughter when I tripped over said cat and nearly went flat on my face, no requests for songs while we- while I worked, no sudden thoughts of half-forgotten stories or memories or films and requests for explanations - nothing. Just... silence.
It was HORRIBLE.
I felt like I was constantly close to tears, like my head was too big for just me and I had a horrible empty feeling both in the back of my mind and in the pit of my stomach, that feeling you get when there’s something very important missing and you want it back NOW.
It wasn’t any better from our side. We’d promised not ta try an’ speak ta her but we could feel that emptiness - like somethin’ cold an’ dark an’ huge was behind us an’ if we turned, if we so much as acknowledged it was there, we’d be lost in it- an’ I ain’t so sure we’d ever have come back :/
It was certainly not a comfortable experience. And... It was lonely. Cat keeps a little thread of her- her Self, her consciousness, I suppose - with us at all times It is how she always knows when we are around and speaking or interacting in other ways. We can, of course, impose ourselves on her tactile sense but that is very difficult to do when she is closed off completely. It is not often she does that and it is rarely deliberate but this was... unpleasant.
It was rather like being caught in a maelstrom of hugs when the thirty minutes was finally over!
It sort of brought it home though. I think of my guys as separate souls, as their own people and the odd “oh sh*t, did they do that themselves or am I accidentally controlling them?!” moment aside, they’re pretty hard to mix up with my own thoughts. If they were completely part of me, this experiment wouldn’t have been so damn hard!
Weary of acting as the place holder, the embodiment, of other people’s generalized disappointment with themselves and their worlds, she quit projecting herself into that role.
She simply removed herself from that position. nbd.
Initially this meant removing herself from their proximity entirely. She recognized the improvement immediately. She agrees it is highly unlikely that she will ever return, she will see. We will see. We can wait and see.
Weary of serving as the embodiment of anyone’s (her own or anyone else’s) disappointment, she quit.
With the time and energy it freed up, she tried serving as the embodiment of... herself, or nothing, else.
nbd.
Weird experiment.
009 Digital Art Wen jr.
CHERRY: “Ah’m here to take over yer blog Ms. Dragonflame! ... Erm, could ya maybe help me down... please?”
Thanks to mdragonflame for helping make this weird thing. XD Visit her blog if ya really like cute art stuff. XD.
Also, I’m fairly certain many have already done something similar to this but I wanted to try. XP
Kingdom Hearts: Skywalker's Adventure (Not another Sora X Riku yaoi fanfic)
When I was studying secondary, I had an idea of making a Kingdom Hearts / Star Wars crossover comic. And then i have the idea of a whole story in long three argumental arcs. Events of the main character are on Earth in Los Angeles. Star Wars world will be named A Galaxy Far, Far Away... with all events 1.000 years after the movies stories and has more elements of fun and action than the original Kingdom Hearts games. And almost forgot.... All arcs have motifs. I will start with a resume of the first arc. Then, I will tell the worlds.
1st Arc (Motif: Cinema and TV).(Years of Event: 2005 on Earth, 1019 ABY in a Galaxy Far, Far Away... - 2008 on Earth, 1022 ABY in A.G.F.F.A.) A 14 years old Human/Kiffar hybrid named Cloud Skywalker starts to worry about his father's dissapearance five years ago and thinks he's still alive. So in the night between May 19 and May 20 to see a Strange Light in the VHS Player of his room, and then finds the gate to Disney Town. A strange man in robes tells Cloud that Ventus Skywalker, his father, is still alive and Cloud accepts to search for his father. But before that, he must go to Mickey's house to receive the training of a Keyblade Knight and then beggining a long adventure. When he comes to Mickey's house, Cloud discovers that the man in robes is a Gijinka version of Mickey Mouse disguised as a strange man and then after three months of training, Mickey, before Cloud could go to A Galaxy Far, Far Away from Tatooine to Coruscant (Because for a Fourth Galactic Empire that helps and uses the Heartless as soldiers and pilots and has taken all planets in the Galaxy, the only way to access for a Keyblade Knight to this world is the Jundland Wastes) Mickey decides to test him sending to some worlds that need the help of a hero to stop the heartless invasion. But before, he needed the company of Donald and Goofy until he could form a team.
After the three first worlds were completed, Cloud meets his childhood friend, Sephiroth Kenobi, a 16 years old Scottish that came from a well economically positioned family as Cloud's. Sephiroth has as a weapon a Lightsaber named Masamune, and decides to call Cloud's one Excalibur (He has a Keyblade turnable Light saber)
In September 2 of 2006 (1024 ABY), Cloud recieves some "presents" from his father that he had in storage when Cloud reaches the age of Disney Princesses (16 years old). The first is the Blast Bullet, a modified 1985 Honda 500 Interceptor with shields, laser guns and with boosters that could make the bike go to the speed of 450 Km/H. The second is his first droid, a femmenine programming fox-eared, fox-tailed anthro AT-AT named Ceres Veers, that is known as a MultiPurposal Droid with her code as MPD-1 being created and buildt by Ventus Skywalker. Ceres starts with Cloud to follow him in combats and then in the next chapters, appears the Imperial Stormtroopers of the Fourth Empire now being noticed than Cloud is searching his father. So the Empire starts a fierce combat against Cloud alone until a man named Ansem Fel and his grandson Ground appear. Ground is a long lost Cloud's cousin, armed with a futuristic gunblade and expert in thunder magic and force pull. And Ansem is the real Emperor. They tell Cloud that an Officer named Farkas Tyranno started to experiment with the Heartless when discovered some old scripts about the darkness and the dark side and was ordered to stop by the Emperor due to the danger of the project. But he didn't followed orders and the darkness corrupted him and turned him in Darth Goliathus and then started to clone the Emperor to replace the original emperor for a Heartless clone. When all happened, Ventus was defending the palace but the forces of the Heartless were victorius and Ventus had to hide in the Jedi Temple ruins, only merging to the most dangerous zones of the planet in where even the Heartless would never search him. Then, Cloud starts to realize than he needs a team to find his father. Then Ground comes to him, but for bad surprise, Sephiroth Kenobi betrays Cloud and joins the Empire as he was disinherited by a problem in what Sephiroth was suspiciously involved. Tells Cloud that after many attacks against the Empire in some Disney Worlds, the Fourth Empire has placed a reward on Cloud and Sephiroth accepted it. Then begins a battle between the friends in wich Sephiroth loses his left hand. Then Sephiroth retreats and drops a Galaxy Far, Far Away star map. Then Cloud decides it's time to pass to action. So Ground and Ceres join to the group and they appear on Jundland Wastes.
With both suns of Tatooine burning their skins (except Ceres), Cloud and Ground decide to find the Lars Homestead in a possibility to find a vehicle since he can't use Blast Bullet in this world. So they find an old V-35 Courier with the hope that after a millenium could still work. And then, when Ceres repaired it, she drives directly with Cloud and Ground in the search of Mos Eisley. After arriving Mos Eisley, Ground contacts with a Wookiee Pilot named Barret. Barret was a light-brown haired Wookiee armed with a fussion of a Bowcaster and Ryyk Knife called Halberd and was an expert on magnet magic. Barret told that the Empire is attacking Kashyyyk and they have a Shistavanen called Hyena Sivrak as a hostage so the group decides to rescue her. When they arrived to Kashyyyk, it was the first time that Cloud would face Darth Goliathus. The battle ended in a tie, so the team could rescue Hyena and then departed to another planet in which the Rebels could act, Rhen Var.
Hyena is a small 14 years old Shistavanen armed with Vibroblades with the size of a Dagger and was an expert on ice magic, so she could control ice that could be useful in Rhen Var. When they arrived to the planet, Cloud felt the force in the temple. And then found a Holocron that could be shining if his father was near. Then, thanks to one of the fire magic usage of Cloud, a Jango Fett clone that was frozen during centuries was found, his code name was CT- 1492 and his nick Altair. Altair was wearing a Green Striped Phase 1 Clone armor and his face had a scar that could make you confuse him with Boba Fett. But in the middle of a talking about the changes during the years, Ceres was kidnapped by the Empire. Apparently, Cloud had a hidden locator for Ceres and knew where to find her. In a Jafar-Class Star Destroyer called the Undertaker. Cloud fled the Eagle of the Century, Barret's YT-2000 light freighter in one of the hangars of the Undertaker and locates Ceres in one of the labs. When she was kidnapped, in a slip of time, she downloaded the map of the Undertaker and decided one thing, that was taking the control of the ship to use it as a bait for a plan to infiltrate in Coruscant. So, they take it to the rest of the Rebel Fleet, and by orders of captain Cid Ackbar, they try to make a surprise that could allow them to take Coruscant and end with the fake of the palace.
The plan was going good. When the party arrived to Coruscant in the Undertaker, Cloud took a Shuttle to fly to Coruscant Air Space and use the Holocron obtained in Rhen Var to search his father. And he finds him. When Cloud looked like as a black haired and taller version of Sora with heterocromy (right eye was blue and left was brown), Ventus looked like Terra with long hair and big beard. Then father and son talk about the things happened and starts a plan to make the fake Ansem to go away from. And then, the space battle began. But in the planet, Darth Goliathus was waiting to battle agaist both. Both Ventus and Cloud were wounded, but Cloud was able to cut off Darth Goliathus' right arm and destroy the blade. But with a Sith Heartless like Goliathus, there was nothing they could do to make him normal, so Ceres shoots a rocket to one of the weakest points of the Jedi Temple and was forced to escape. Goliathus makes a last appearance saying these quotes "You won't escape, Skywalker, your death will be imminent". But Sephiroth Kenobi returns for a last time to redeem himself and help Cloud. Then, the Temple collapses with Goliathus and Sephiroth inside (Sephiroth survives since he was hiding and then when they believed he was dead, he changed his prothesic hand for an organic one, changes his clothes to a grey mandalorian armor and he changes his name to StarBlade). But the attack called the attention of the Fake Ansem. Then the Real Ansem forces the Fake to reveal his identification, Darth Xemnas, one of the thirteen terribles (a tribute to the Organization XIII) and run over Coruscant. Then merges a new Triumvirate, and Ventus returns to Earth just to see his grandparents for the last time, since they were dying. When they died, they left their Holywood mansion to Ventus, Aqua, Cloud and Ceres. Then, Ground decides to join Cloud and start a new life on Earth. But something in Coruscant merges. A human Farkas Tyranno fully recovered and without powers finds some Cloud's DNA samples and tries to make a new menace to the Triumvirate, so that's the end of the First Arc.