You can expand on the Tommy standoffish thoughts here! Im loving seeing everyone's thoughts
Okay, to me, everything about him is standoffish. But let's back up a bit.
His dry humor in 7x03 was actually well placed and the delivery was okay. Joking around and being chummy with Hen was not a way to endear himself to her, but narratively, that wasn't the point. He was there to fly them to the ship. No mas. I don't have too strong a complaint about that. Or 7x04, because even then it was still just okay. I don't like that he called Buck "kid," that's a bit condescending, especially when he doesn't know Buck or Eddie really well enough to have any opinions that hold weight. But for the most part, Tommy in 7x04 was... okay. (Do I think he was more interested in Eddie? Yes, but that's beside the point).
But the minute 7x05 came along, it started down a hill and just kept rolling. I wonder when we'll finally hit rock bottom, honestly. The delivery of his lines is kinda stale in itself, but I don't even need tone of voice to see issue with some of the things he says. Case in point: the date.
Eddie showing up was unfortunate, and anyone in Buck's position would've panicked like he did (although the "hot chicks" line is much more something said on TV rather than in an awkward irl conversation anyway). But Tommy sat there with a neutral look that had a hint of judgement mixed in and tried to force Buck out of the closet. His "Ain't that the truth. Right Evan?" to Eddie's remark about closet space was uncalled for and honestly, to me, downright mean. And Buck's hurt expression in response to that really solidified that feeling for me. Then to leave him on the curb with the most condescending "I think you're adorable," I've heard come out of someone's mouth who wasn't a southern middle aged woman was cold and mean too. If you're really interested in the relationship and seeing if you have a chance, tell the person what was wrong and open that line of communication. Don't leave them standing there after their first date "with a dude" not knowing exactly what went wrong and why you've suddenly lost interest. And then to say "I just don't think you're ready" as you get in the car??? I'm sorry, but no one can decide that but yourself.
The coffee date at the end wasn't much better. It was Buck practically groveling to a guy who thinks he knows all and knows best. The thing about getting the coffee wrong and only saying "so not like that" and leaving it at that instead of providing even a hint of what could be right suggests he expects Buck to put in all the effort. Which he did. He sat there and made his way back into Tommy's good graces and went 0 to 100 inviting him to the wedding. And instead of suggesting something a little more laid back, something that wasn't so much pressure, Tommy just went along with it.
And I've heard so many arguments about how Tommy couldn't wear a costume to the bachelor party because he was on call. I've got some news. I live with someone who's on call quite a lot. That has zero affect on their wardrobe. Why? Because they have to change into a uniform anyway. Tommy's refusal to indulge Buck even a little bit in that moment may not seem like a big deal to a lot of people, but I've been Buck in that situation. It sucks. You want someone you care about to care about you too, and sometimes that means indulging in things that to you, seem silly or unnecessary. When he tells Buck "they had henleys in the 80s," it was a brush off, scoff and sneer included.
7x09, strictly speaking canon, is much the same. Every couple was shown having a sweet moment. It's an emotional high, you're being rewarded for work above and beyond the call of duty! It's not unusual to want to be close to the people you care about. Buck was shown as Tommy's support. There was a perfect opportunity for them to at the very least bump shoulders or hold hands as they walked and talked. But what we got was "enjoy it while it lasts" in response to Buck's enthusiasm. Like taking a needle to a balloon.
The deleted scene was no better. He was intentionally obtuse, avoiding the question he knew Hen and Karen were asking. If he was serious about the relationship or at the least wanted to reassure them that he and Buck were in a good place, he wouldn't have dodged with the cake comments and made the contradictory statement about how slow the relationship was progressing (and any and all of what he said could be euphemisms and sex jokes once again. Kinda inappropriate if you're trying to win over your boyfriend(?)s friends/ family).
And I'm probably gonna get so much shit for it, but I'm gonna say it all anyway. The 7x10 scene was just as bad. Think from Buck's perspective. He's had a shit week. All he wants is a quiet dinner (he absolutely stress cooks) with the guy he's been seeing for some time now. By then, you would think there's a level of intimacy and trust in place that allows you to be open with your partner about something that's worrying you. Buck wanted a shoulder to lean on. Instead of accepting the invitation to be vulnerable with each other and have a conversation that could've brought them closer, Tommy not only made it about himself, but then made it into a sex joke. The joke was not, and never will be, the problem. The problem is the fact he didn't want to open up to Buck and instead used humor to deflect. Which could've worked! But instead it fell very very flat. I'm not going to make the comparison I want to make because it's not the point right now. The fact is, he could've been a shoulder for Buck to lean on, and simply refused to.
And that's been the pattern. He could've done X, but didn't.
He could've been open and honest and kind, but chose instead to always be dismissive, sarcastic, and as you asked in the poll, standoffish.
(if you read this I love you 🩷)
