Having ADHD is like, I don’t remember where I put the pen I just had in my hand, but I can remember when a random anecdote was told on a movie podcast I like because I remember I was cleaning the shower for the first time in a very long time when I heard it, and I can also tell you what movie was being discussed, and how it was later reinforced because of the video game I was playing passively when I listened to it a second time while making someone else listen to it.
It’s also the embarrassment of being alive and not being sure how to make friends while also forgetting for six hours that I need to go to the bathroom and having to live by the personal maxim “asking myself the question “do I need to pee?” means that I do and I have to go do it now before I’m distracted by another task I’ve been putting off” and on my way to the bathroom stop in the kitchen to set up all of the things I need to cook lunch later and still thinking I’m a lazy asshole who doesn’t know how to do things.
Aaaaand it’s writing this on tumblr while I’m avoiding finishing the more serious “proper blog” post/essay about the continuous cycle of learning and relearning basic adult tasks that involves a hard-to-describe anecdote about my childhood that might seem like a fanciful lie OR a cry for attention because it involves parental emotional abuse by way of casual 1980s “Irish joke” bigotry, and then thinking “who am I even writing this shit for—“ before abandoning every in-progress project to go play a round of Fortnite.
