#which sadly won't be for... several hours...

[holyguardian]

Apologies for disappearing into the bog, it will happen again.

Like or comment on this post if you want Aerith in your inbox, I'll send in something from your prompts! If you're a multi and you don't tell me who it's for I'm sadly not sending anything bc I can't choose.

[nakaira]

I hate being on my period I hate sitting up after sitting down so long cramps… hehehe imagine Dazai and chuuya (separately) going through a body swap with reader their gf and they have to deal with having periods and wearing bras getting hit on whike reader is having the time of their of there life’s as their bf

U see my vision right 

(╥ ω ╥)

mine r like two week late. stress will kill me one day.

might be somewhat suggestive.

dazai osamu.

see dazai would be more concerned with the fact that he swapped bodies because of someone's ability which might not require touch which means potential threat on yokohama and he has to go to the agency —

oh wait. fuck, what?

the pain starts from his back and travels all the way down to the front of his thighs and down to his ankles. dazai wheezes in pain.

his pain tolerance is somewhat impressive but like this pain took him off guard

he knew cramps could be very severe but wow. he might have gagged a bit too due to this being first time.

immediately calls you who is in his body and you pick up with a cheerful tone, "dazai i am taking so many pictures of your fingers. they are so fucking pretty."

"i am dying here and you are thirsting over my fingers???" he's amused, to be honest.

"periods hurt but me during ovulation is a different species. let me stack up. lay down and use a hot pack." you end the call. enjoying your day by taking pictures of his body in different poses, giggling every few seconds.

dazai tries to see the bright side too by you know, grabbing your tits. the pain doesn't disappear sadly. can't even fondle your tits in peace.

he goes to sleep after suffering for many hours.

chuuya nakahara.

chuuya doesn't like wearing bras. they are so uncomfortable and he's paranoid everyone can see how awkwardly they are resting on your tits — you slap him on the back for this offending thought, telling him it looks okay in your body since you wear it everyday.

it's more about the spirit feeling discomfort. the body is comfortable.

no. the body isn't comfortable too. he can't go out. so he sits infront of you with a paper and pen and makes you call mori, writing down sentences you have to say to the boss man whose call is on speaker.

mori doesn't buy it. chuuya sounds more embarrassed in your voice as he explains the situation to mori. mori ends the call with a chuckle which makes chuuya moan in embarrassment

"um. chuuya?"

"what?" yeah, the hormones of your body are getting to him.

"does my voice affect you so much? you have a boner."

he sheepishly chuckles, telling you to take a cold shower.

while you do so, he takes off the bra. can't wear it. won't wear it.

[nthspecialll]

So... Tombstone

To those of you who have not heard, Rob Weitoff aka John Marston was not invited to this years Tombstone Redemption, which is a massive rdr2 centered event where normally a lot of actors show up, including that of minor characters like Karen Jones and Susan Grimshaw.

Sadly Rob is not the only one not making an appearence, other actors have also voiced the fact they will not be attenting, and here is the run down of why. Just to make it clear, this is not a gossip post, but rather to educate so that people can be aware of what is happening and if they want to support the organiser of the event.

The man who is behind this event as well as Blackhills Redemption is a guy named Kenny, who sadly has turned out not to treat the actors as well. There have been a lot of incidents relating to different actors, which I will not be discussing due to the fact they don't seem to want to discuss it, however I recommend watching this (the line is a link, press it to show the video) live by Kenny in which he talks very disgustingly about some situations. In the comments you can find some timestamps for different things.

But the incident I will adress is Rob's because he has been very vocal about it, sadly a lot has been taken down but here are some screenshots of some of the posts.

Other things regarding Kenny is the absolute poor planning of the events themselves. I have been in contact with someone who went to these events who let me know that the lines to meet the actors were nine hours long, which was partly due to the fact that the room where all the actors were and where everything was happening was "if you stood in the center it was about 3 or 4 people wide" (which is a safety hazard), but also the line was conjoined, so to meet any actor you had to stand in the same line.

Kenny also complains in the live linked above about the fact that the actors actually took the time to talk to the fans rather than just go "oh hi, you like my game? Thanks, bye" because it "takes too much time" which is part of what he blames the long lines on. Another thing he states within the first minute of the video is that he "only mistreated three of the actors" which is such a dumbass thing to say.

And to top the whole thing off, Kenny has used AI in the marketing of his events, something which a good chunk of the actors are currently striking against, and even those who aren't have mentioned their dislike for it.

There is more going on with Kenny but I won't touch on it for several reasons, I just wanted this out so people can decide if they want to support this guy and so if other actors decide that they want to speak out they know we have their backs.

[moonlightwrites004]

A Roses and Champagne fanfic...

Uncanny endearment🌹

Sasha Sergeyev x desi!reader

Reader might be plump.

After reader was abandoned at the altar by Caeser and Lee Won, her hand was held by someone Uncanny...

divider credits: @strangergraphics

CW: Angst with comfort, reader was used, self doubt, self deprecation.

Frost wilted roses...

That is what you held at the altar, waiting patiently for your grooms.

But they never came.

It's been 3 long hours and Russia's wintery cold began chipping away at your warm form.

But your heart was ablaze with wait.

"Caeser will come..." "Lee Won will come too...Lee Won will never leave me alone." you told yourself as you heard the guests leaving.

But nothing.

Suddenly you remembered your mother's words the day you purchased this white lehenga.

"Safhed rang tujhe shoba nahi dengi beti...dusra rang lo." (The white lehenga won't suit you, choose another color)

But you were so fixated on everything being perfect, you ignored her.

Perhaps she was right. You should have chosen a beige one or maybe a completely different color, perhaps pink or the traditional red.

But would it change this outcome? Caeser was not here neither was Lee Won.

Your greatest fear had come true...You were abandoned by the men you loved most.

"Child, they're not coming, cease your waiting and go home." The pastor advised, his voice was full of worry for your well-being.

"Nahi...They promised me that they'll come...I have full faith in them...If not Caeser, My Lee Won will come." You choked out with a cheerful smile.

"But my child, you'll freeze to death in this cold."

"I won't father, I have weathered worse storms than this."

The pastor shook his head and sat down. He waited with you.

Your cellphone buzzed to life with a message that made your heart sink.

"I cannot marry you Malysh... Don't turn up to the venue."

It was from Caeser's number, it was a scheduled message. It was a planned no show.

The saliva in your mouth felt like acid, burning down your throat as you swallowed.

Your heart clenched.

Suddenly everything made sense.

The missed dates, the insistence of theirs for you to move back to India by your parents, Lee Won's glances of pity.

You were Caeser's sick experiment.

And you foolishly went along with everything... because you loved them.

But they didn't... that's why you were here, alone and shivering in the cold.

You slowly got up to leave. You felt ridiculed.

Everything was a silent mock.

The decorations that you spent hours alone selecting, your lehenga which was the colour of death.

This so called 'union' was a joke... Caeser's joke on you.

And yet...

Sasha sat right behind you, sipping his whiskey out of his canister, taking in your appearance in silence.

"Sergeyev-saahib." You murmured as you trembled.

Tears fell from your eyes finally, crystallising on your cold skin.

The older male stood before you now, gazing at your frozen tears and sorrowful state.

He warned you that Caeser was not to be trusted. Sure he and Lee Won loved you. What made silly you think they'd marry you?

But Sasha silently reached out to you, holding your chin inbetween his thumb and index finger.

"Don't cry little rani." He began in a low tone, addressing you endearingly. "My son is not worthy of these tears neither is that pretty boy he calls his lover."

You gaze at him, feeling no less than a lamb before a wolf and yet, there was a flicker of warmth in his eye.

"What do I do now?" You asked Sasha sadly. "I severed all ties with my family. There is no roof over my head and the men I thought loved me have cast me out...What do I do now?" you cry in the end and drop the bouquet.

Sasha remains silent again. He feels your broken sobs on his chest. He turned to the pastor.

"Get your arse at the podium father." He commanded sternly.

The pastor became confused. "But the grooms aren't here Mr Sergeyev." He murmured but, when this wolfish man pointed his gun at him, the man nearly shat himself as he stood at the podium.

Sasha picked up your bouquet and set it back in your hands.

"Listen to me rani...you are going to walk down that aisle...your groom is here." He says and motions to himself as he stands where his son is supposed to.

You wanted to protest and say that this was wrong but, the words die out in your throat.

You do it anyway. Your fears silenced every sound of rationality in your head.

'Tsar's bride' played now instead of 'Here comes the Bride'.

Every step you took towards him, your anklets chimed as the wind tried its best to blow over your pallu.

But it's stayed fixed over you, shielding you from the painful betrayal you felt.

Once opposite him, the pastor began with the vows.

"Do you Sasha Sergeyev-

"I do."

The pastor shivered in fear and turned to you.

"Do you Y/n L/n take this man, Sasha Sergeyev as your lawful wedded husband in sickness and in health, till death do you part?"

Your blink away your tears and gazed at him through your veil.

"I do..." You answered.

"You may exchange rings and kiss the bride."

Sasha chuckled. He lifted your veil and smiled down at you as he lifted your cold plump hand and slipped a ring onto your finger.

You do the same, lifting his rather muscular hand slipping one of the 2 rings on his finger.

Before you could release his hand, Sasha leaned down, placing a tender kiss upon your forehead, just above your bindi.

It was nothing like the searing and demanding kisses Caeser gave her neither was it like the soft kisses and touches of Lee Won but, this was softer with a promise of respect and something greater...

"I don't expect lovey dovey kisses and touches from you..." He whispered against your maangtikka.

You gaze up at him as he slowly pulled away.

"I married you to give you power...Use it well my rani...how do they say it your tongue?...Ahhhh, Maharani." He says with a smile in the end.

A smile full of promise of chaos that was yet to come.

You didn't even hear the pastor pronounce you both man and wife.

Sasha was already leading you away with your marriage certificate in hand.

After seating you in the car and wrapping a fur coat around you, he held you close to his side.

"Straight home." He says to the driver as he held a cigar to his lips. He struggled to light it with one hand.

*click*

*click*

*click*

Nothing, the blasted lighter refused to ignite his cigar.

But then, you take the lighter from him and with a single click, you lit the cigar for him.

He was pleased...very pleased.

"My maharani..." He whispered with a smile and took a drag of his cigar.

"Don't worry, I'll be there to catch you when you fall." He mused to you and kissed your cheek.

You silently leaned towards him. Was it for comfort? You didn't know.

This was going to be your life now...The former Tsar's young bride.

He was your partner, your pati.

And by the gods, you were scared to death by the path you chose....

I deserve a first class kick

If this trends, I'll do a part 02. ✨

Also credits to @mariahuchiha90 for helping me figure out Tumblr.

[childishsadism]

Intro~

Call me Dys. I write shit fanfiction and have been into it since I was a kid. My first language isn't English, and neither is it my second, but it is the language I prefer to write in. So you gotta deal with my shit grammar, sorry.

My current obsession is Hazbin Hotel, with Alastor and Vox taking center stage. I am a fan of staticradio since day one. Alastor is my fav, and Vox is my second fav, but they fight for the number one spot.

I enjoy writing psychological horror, dark horror themes, horror in general, psychological thrillers, smut, toxic relationships, and mixing realism with fantasy while keeping it gritty. I like to make people uncomfortable when reading my stuff, but I also want the digestion to be pleasurable.

I'm sadly kinda edgy, so please handle with care.

I severely lack social skills and have a hard time reading people online, so unless you are blunt with me, I'm always going to be at a loss.

You can think of me as whatever, boy, girl, man, woman, it is irrelevant to my writing, so I don't care. But if you wanna know, I am a boy.

My Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChildishSadism/

My Twitter: https://x.com/childishsadism (I mainly use it to look at fanart)

Straw page: https://childishsadism.straw.page/ (draw me silly stuff)

I go by childishsadism in all of my socials except Discord, I go by dysuwu in there, so just a warning.

I'm pretty dumb, an overworked loser, and kinda pathetic, so please don't be intimidated. I might be blunt and sharp around the edges, but that's just mostly cuz of my lack of social skills.

Common Q&A:

Why are your titles all numbers? I'm lazy. I don't like naming things.

Would you consider writing Alastor or Vox with x or y character? Maybe, but only if the prompt is good.

Do you take requests? Yes, I take requests, but I don't guarantee filling them. It just depends on whether the request is reasonable or not. I do better with requests that include more details. However, I do not write anything vanilla or simply romantic.

When would you update x or y fic? Whenever I got the time to do it. I work two jobs, and that's roughly around 65 hours a week. I write in my free time and mostly on my phone, which makes it slower than regular PC typing. When I have free days tho, I can write a lot faster and usually update within the same day.

Why aren't you updating x or y fic? cuz it was a failure. I update fics based on their traffic. If the fic flops, I won't update it; if a fic is doing well but then stops, I won't update it. The people reading my stuff literally are the ones in control of whether I update something or not.

What do I consider a failure? If the fic gets fewer than 1k hits per chapter. If it gets less than 10 comments per chapter. If it gets less than 100 kudos per 1k hits.

I crave validation like a motherfucker when it comes to my writing, it feeds me and keeps me happy. If I'm not getting head pats and being told I'm doing well, then I get mopey and lose interest.

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Skeleton is in pain because of lower back pain. He just bent over to grab a heavy grocery bag, and now he's stuck. How do they deal with it?

Undertale Sans - He's pretty much not moving from the couch, growling in pain. Because of his low HP, pain is usually more severe for Sans, and so he's not feeling like moving. He can't sleep either so when Papyrus just proposes a healing spell to help a little, he's practically crying with relief, so tired. It's not his funniest day.

Undertale Papyrus - After trying to act like he is not in pain and failing miserably as Undyne called out his bullshit in the three seconds she saw him, he got lectured like a child and forced to sit on a chair while Alphys examined him. He's a little mad, but turns out Alphys has painkillers strong enough to make all the pain disappear and he feels so much better. Not really, but he hopes it will trick Undyne into letting him train with her. She gave him an angry face and drove him all the way back home, forced him to lie down on the damn couch, and then watched over him, growling if he dared to move. Papyrus threw tiny bones at her every time she fell asleep just out of spite. If he has to get bored, you will get bored with him.

Underswap Sans - He's so mad. Blue hates being forced to stay still, and even if the doctor told him to rest and go easy for a few days, he can't. Honey has to physically stop him from cleaning the house, which made Blue very angry because Honey always complain he doesn't clean the house, and the only day he wants to, he doesn't want? Honey calls him out on his manipulative behavior and tells him that if he's not going to mother him. On the other hand, if he hurts himself more, he will drag his sorry butt himself back to the doctor's office. Blue is so pouting.

Underswap Papyrus - It's not a rarity, as Honey has bad scoliosis, so his back is often painful. He just walks like a penguin, whimpering at every wrong step, and staying the rest of the time in his bed with a hot bottle of water and a pile of pillows. He just waits for it to go away, not complaining more than that.

Underfell Sans - He moved back to Edge's place, just to be safe. Red doesn't like to stay alone when he's sick or injured, because it's not rare for monsters to try to kill him in his vulnerable moments Underground. He knows Edge has his back, and it allows him to relax a little and actually give himself some time to heal. He feels better in two days and then simply goes back home, calmer.

Underfell Papyrus - No one will notice anything as Edge simply hides that he's in pain. He keeps a straight face and goes to work normally, but the second he goes home and closes the door, he collapses on the couch, whimpering in agony. Of course, that idiot won't ask for help, so he's pretty much going to suffer in silence for days and that's it.

Horrortale Sans - Welp. He's dying. Oak is acting miserably, whimpering and limping all day long. It's alright though as Willow has a ton of equipment to relief back pain so in hours he's done. But he's still going to act like he's dying so his brother brings him food in front of the TV, he doesn't want to move.

Horrortale Papyrus - He's annoyed, but he doesn't show anything. Willow is used to having pain in his back, and sadly, a lumbago is nothing next to what he has to deal with his arthritis and other back problems. He's more tired than usual, but he'll get over it quickly.

Swapfell Sans - Nox is anxious because of his royal guard duties which definitely doesn't help relaxing. He still goes, despite Rus calling him an idiot, and regrets it all day, as apparently, Toriel chose this day for a guard duty where he has to stand up still for hours. Nox comes home trembling with pain and just cries in pain, curled up on the couch, exhausted. This is not a good day.

Swapfell Papyrus - He's acting like he's dying, whimpering all day and asking his brother how he knows if it's getting worse. It's not getting worse, he's just dramatic and paranoid. Nox can't stand his brother when he's sick, as Rus has a very low resistance to pain and will basically cry about it the entire time he has to rest.

Fellswap Gold Sans - Wine doesn't even grimace. He goes with it. When you have been stabbed several time, a little back pain is not going to kill him. He simply will report too physical activities because who the hell will find something to say against it? No one will ever know he's in pain.

Fellswap Gold Papyrus - He clings to his brother all day long, begging for healing candies. Wine ends up just giving him the bowl, warning him that if he eats too many, he will just get even sicker. Coffee doesn't listen to him, because he loves candies. Coffee will so regret it the next day as now he has the stomachache of his life added to the pain in his back. Heeeeelp.

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Flowers are meant to be gifted (part 3)

GIF by whoshotterpolls

Young!Silvers Rayleigh x reader. This is part three of four.

Set soon after Gold Roger’s death. The name Shiru comes from shiruba, which means silver in Japanese. (moodboard)

*****

Without your job, and your son, to keep your mind away from the terrible mistake you made, you try to keep busy working around the house and then with a book you had borrowed from the local library and never gotten around reading. Sadly neither the preparation of the boxes with Shiru’s old clothes and toys, to be donated to younger children who could need them, nor a captivating historical romance are enough to fully distract you from the memory of your and Rayleigh’s fight, and from reflecting on the terrible consequences those few minutes are sure to have.

You still can’t believe you accused him of cheating - on a woman who is not her partner with another you merely saw him hug. Of all the difficulties and misunderstandings your youth relationship with Rayleigh had to deal with, infidelity -on both sides, obviously- was not among them; on the contrary, you had always appreciated your partner’s loyalty, his ability to make every other woman feel invisible whenever he was with you. It would have been different if you had caught the snake lady in Rayleigh’s inn room or if the two of you had agreed to begin a relationship, but you hadn’t; you had merely seen a friend, for lack of a better word, exchange a friendly embrace with a woman, and you had completely lost your mind.

And worst of all, Rayleigh knows about Shiru, and of how you have deliberately avoided telling him of your child’s existence, which is unacceptable in several respects. While the breaking up of your relationship all those years ago was your ex-lover’s fault, now it’s you who have completely and utterly screwed up; at this very moment Rayleigh is probably packing his bags to leave, having realised that no matter how important you still are to one another, you’re not the sort of woman he wants for a partner.

You really can’t blame him for it. He had come looking for you, after all these years, and you ruined everything! It was your chance to make things right with the man who was your first love, and you wasted it. You might get other chances at love in the future, you might fall again for someone else, but you'll always remember that you let Rayleigh go a second time. 

You won't forget, and you won't forgive yourself either. How could you be so foolish?!

You have never had so little appetite in your life, but you force yourself to swallow a few morsels, sadly forgoing all the good food you had planned to prepare for you and Rayleigh tonight. Later on you are at the sink, feeling forlorn as you wash the few plates and cutleries you have used for your solitary dinner, when a sound comes to distract you from your gloomy lucubrations - a familiar one, even though you have rarely heard it so late at night.

Pururururu… Pururururu… 

Your Den Den Mushi is ringing from the shelf on which you had placed it on hours ago and then almost forgotten it. Who could it be, so late at night?, you wonder; for a moment you hypothesize your colleagues at the restaurant are calling to ask for your help, or instructions, because of some mishap, but tonight the place is closed rather than you having taken a meal off. There is a single other option, only one person who could need your help now, and that sudden suspicion leads you to go grab the Den Den Mushi with hands that still drip soaping water.

“Hello? Shiru?”

“Mom…”

The tone your son utters that single word with is the realization of your worst fears: tense, trembling with fear, the voice of a person speaking low in order not to be heard and as they look behind their shoulders to make sure no danger is approaching. It’s a sort of voice no child has no business talking with - your son least of all.

“What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

“I am… for now. It’s Hana’s dad; mom, he’s drunk, and he’s gotten angry and he’s shouting…” your son explains; you hear a rustling, and for a terrible moment it seems the line has gone dead, but then: “He’s started throwing things around, he almost hit Hana with a glass… she said we better hide until he’s over it, but I… I’m afraid. I don’t wanna stay here.”

Through the line you hear your beloved little boy sob, and it’s like a thousand needles are piercing your heart. “I wanna go home. Mom, I’m sorry, please come pick me up.”

You are out of the house forty seconds later, keys clutched in your hand, terror and determination seizing your heart, your feet moving quickly in the direction you need to take to reach Hana’s house, which is only a couple groves away. Foolish enough to let your son spend the night with people you didn’t know and weren’t therefore sure you could trust, you at least made sure to learn their address.

The call you just received is one every parent dreads, and beyond your own guilt, you can barely bear to think about what Shiru could be dealing with at the moment. You know all too well what it means to be at the mercy of a violent parent, or a drunk one, and you tremble at the thought that by the time you reach him it might already be too late… or that you might be unable to save him, no matter what price you’re willing to pay.

So focused you are on your fears, you only notice you’re not alone along the darkened, silent street when you and Rayleigh are a moment away from bumping into each other. “What are you doing here?!” you cry; then, all too aware your tone might be misunderstood: “Sorry, I… it’s good to see you. Is everything alright?”

The man in front of you, who only a few hours ago you were almost sure you would never see again and who by all appearances was either walking in the direction of your home or having a late night stroll along a cul-de-sac, nods slowly. “Yes, I… I was actually coming to see you. I hope it’s fine, you told me your son is not home.”

The fact that you have somehow convinced Rayleigh you consider him a bad company for Shiru fills you with shame, but you don’t have the time to explain the real reason behind your lie. “Of course not; I… I’m very sorry, Rayleigh, I have so many things I need to tell you, so much I need to apologise for, but… I can’t do it right now. I need to go to my son, he needs me.”

“What’s wrong? Is he sick?”

“No, but…” overwhelmed, you struggle for a moment to organize your thoughts. The panic for your son’s safety is making it difficult for you to think straight, which is something you know you can’t afford at the moment “The father of the friend he’s staying with; he’s drunk, and has started throwing things. Shiru called me, and I have to go take him, he’s not safe.”

“Oh…”

You see Rayleigh tense, for a moment unsure of how to act, and as you look at him, at the man who is older and wiser and more jaded than the boy you fell in love with when you were sixteen but whose feelings you can still easily read, you realise the reason for his visit tonight is to say good-bye. He came to give you the courtesy he lacked when he left all these years ago, telling you he’s leaving, never to return, because of your argument earlier today. Because of your unjustified jealousy, and maybe your pride that has until now forbidden you from proving how happy you are of having your ex-lover back in your life, Rayleigh is leaving, having decided a relationship between the two of you is either unfeasible, or maybe simply not what he really wants.

Which you can’t really blame him for, even though that wouldn’t forbid you from begging him to reconsider, from telling him that you have both made mistakes you regret and that maybe you could forgive each other and start anew, like the mature people you are. You could tell him, you would give anything you own and are for the chance of pleading your case just once, but you can’t, because there is a single thing in the whole universe that could take priority over that conversation, a single eventuality you would rather take care of than beg Rayleigh to give you another chance, and that is exactly what has happened tonight: your son is unsafe and needs help.  

The timing literally couldn’t be worse, but you don’t hesitate, not even to beg Rayleigh to wait until tomorrow morning, or even just an hour, so you can take care of Shiru and then talk to him. “I’m really sorry, but I need to go; any moment I linger could be… I’m sorry.” you say, hoping your eyes can convey all the emotions you don’t have the time to express in words, and then move to walk past him. 

A moment later a heavy hand, the grip gentle but firm, has landed on your shoulder, stopping you on your tracks. “What are you going to do, exactly?”

“Take my son away from that home, and the other child as well now that I think about it. Please let me go, I promise I would not leave unless it was really important…”

“Of course it is. Which is why I’m coming with you.”

Silence explodes.

“What?”

“With all due respect, (name), if this man is in a drunken rage he could be a danger for both you and the two children you want to protect.” your ex-lover not unreasonably points out “Let me come with you; I have dealt with this sort of person before. Your son would see me, obviously, but you’ll probably agree that making sure he’s fine is what matters the most…”

The emotion inside you is so intense it physically pains you, an uncontrollable urge to… do what, exactly? Burst into tears? Kiss the man in front of him the way you used to do, long and hard enough to make you both forget where one of you ends and the other begins? Run away in shame because you’ve never felt so unworthy of help like you do right now?

You don’t know; in the end all you’re able to do is murmur “Thank you; thank you so much.” and start on your way again, Rayleigh following you through the quiet immobility of the night.

You reach your destination after a hurried journey of about twenty minutes. The district Hana’s family lives in is fortunately one you know pretty well, and you’re able to easily find her address: one of a line of small houses each with its own little garden, easily recognisable given the shouts of rage that become audible when you’re still at some distance from the door, as well as repeated sounds of objects being thrown and destroyed.

“I think we’re in the right place.” 

You have almost reached your destination when suddenly, on impulse, you grab Rayleigh’s arm to force your ex-lover to face you; he looks at you, startled. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s not because I didn’t want him to meet you.”

“What?”

“The reason why I didn’t tell you I had a son, and I had planned on inviting you home while he was away; it’s not because I think you’d be… an unsuitable company or something like that.” you say; lingering five steps away while your son might be being abused is no doubt foolish, but you can’t stand him not knowing, can’t bear the thought that Rayleigh, the man who has gone out of his way to help you protect your child, might think you considered him unsuitable to be introduced to Shiru “Just in case you were thinking that. Nothing could make me happier than having the two of you meet; I should have done it already and I’m sorry if I didn’t, but you need to know - it wasn’t for you, Rayleigh. Please believe me.”

Your ex-lover sighs, and nods slowly; part of him seems to regret not choosing to remain at his inn and enjoy an ale, but then you see a smile curve those lips you still remember kissing, and “Alright; we can talk about it later.” he says “Let’s take Shiru back first.”

He remains a step behind you, silent and menacing like a bodyguard ready to throw hands at the slightest provocation, while you go ring the bell, again and again for several minutes; in the meantime the master of the house is still screaming, but fortunately the sound of smashing and breaking has ceased, as if threats and swearwords were all Hana’s father had the strength for at the moment. 

In the end, fed up with the lack of response, you press your finger on the doorbell and leave it here long enough to make sure the whole street has heard you. Your heart is pounding with anxiety and anger, but outwardly you’re perfectly calm and in control, not least thanks to the protective, reassuring presence of the man looming two steps behind you. Losing control won’t help your son, and for his sake you’re even willing to talk politely to the man who might have hurt him, no matter that part of you wishes you had brought your cleaver, which you use at the restaurant to separate pieces of meat from a bigger cut and whose blade is sharp enough to pass a man’s arm through, in support of your claims.

Still, Rayleigh might let you borrow the sword hanging from his waist if you asked nicely… 

Finally -“Who the hell is it out there?!”- the door is slammed open, and a man you’ve never seen before peers at you, clearly struggling to decide how many women are standing in front of him. “‘the hell are you?” he asks rudely, his speech slurred.

“Good evening. I am (full name), Shiru’s mother.” you say, your tone calm even though it’s dripping with contempt “I have come to pick up my son.”

The man, who is clearly intoxicated, tries slamming the door in your face, but you’re quick enough to slip inside, after which Rayleigh grabs the door’s end, stepping close enough to look the other man in the eyes. “Excuse us.” he says, unsmiling, and all Hana’s father can do is stammer as he’s pushed aside.

You step into the house’s living room, a pleasantly furnished room that has sadly been affected by the master of the house’s temper tantrum. A fist has been put through the wall near the table -at the height, you’re horrified to notice, the head of a child of your son’s age would be at- and several shattered plates and framed pictures litter the floor; a chair, two of its legs broken, lies sideways in the middle of the room.  

“Shiru! It’s mom. Come out darling, you’re safe now.” you call, and only a moment later two heads peek out of the nearby hallway. 

“Mom!” Shiru calls, running into your arms; he holds you close for a moment before meeting your gaze in search of reassurance, looking even more shaken than he did on the day of Kou’s death “You came! I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to do…”

“It’s fine, darling; you did well.” you answer quickly, torn between the desire to reassure him and to make your stay in the house as short as possible “Are you alright? And Hana?”

“We’re fine; he tried to punch me but I ducked. Mom, we need to take her with us, she’s not safe here…”

You tell him that of course you will, and he needs to take his stuff and his friend and meet you at the door in thirty seconds, so that you can leave all together. Shiru, who sometimes likes to be called the young man of the house but has never looked so relieved to leave the decisions to make to someone else, nods and returns to the hallway. 

Hana, you discover a moment later, is a pretty girl with blonde hair, almost pitifully tiny for her age, as if the abuse she has suffered who knows how many times before tonight had somehow stunted her growth. You talk gently to her, asking whether she would rather spend the night at your place or go somewhere else and if there’s someone else you can contact, and she answers that while her mother had to leave suddenly to take care of a grandparent who lives outside of the archipelago, the neighbours would surely host her for the night.

“Mom, who is that guy?” Shiru asks, nodding in Rayleigh’s direction; your ex-lover has forced Hana’s father on a chair and is standing guard by his side, a hand meaningfully wrapped around the hilt of his sword. He grins when he sees you return to the entrance door, followed by the two children both of whom carry a backpack on their shoulders. 

“A friend; he has come to make sure we are all safe.” you say, not bothering to hide the relieved gratefulness in your voice; for a moment your and Rayleigh gazes meet in a smile, the tension between you momentarily forgotten. 

Hana’s father, on his part, growls at Shiru under his breath, but when he sees his own daughter is about to walk out the door, he seems to get his fighting spirit again. “Where the hell are you taking her? You little runt, come here immediately!” he bellows, starting in the direction of the poor child who has immediately ducked behind you, while Shiru has bravely stepped between his friend and her abuser. 

Neither needs to worry though, because Rayleigh is quick to intervene; lightning quick, your ex-lover grabs the arm Hana’s father has raised to strike and twists it behind the man’s back, tearing a scream of pain from his lips. “You bastard…!”

“Either you knock it off now or I’ll break your arm. The choice is yours.”

“You can’t take her! She’s my kid, I’m gonna say you’ve kidnapped her!”

“Given the way you’ve treated her tonight I don’t think you have a right to lay claims to her.” Rayleigh points out; the son of an abusive father, you know he’s seeing himself in the two children he’s acting to protect, a bitter expression of rage and regret on his handsome face. The other man struggles in vain in his vice, until Rayleigh forces him to meet his gaze, and what Hana’s father sees in the eyes of your ex-lover is enough to make him quiver. 

This is not the man you knew, not the man who has whispered words of love in your ear and held you as you cried so many times; this is the man known across the Grand Line as the Dark King, Gold Roger’s second in command, a pirate who can go toe to toe with a Marine Admiral, and when you hear him threaten Hana’s father of an unspeakable torture if he ever tries touching his daughter, or Shiru, again, even an innocent bystander like you can't help trembling in fear. 

And love. 

“Have I made myself clear?”

“I… you…”

A twist of the arm follows. Then a scream of pain. A pair of knees hit the floor. “Answer me! Have I made myself clear?” 

“Yes! Yes, I got it!” the master of the house pitifully cries “Let go, fuck, you're breaking my arm!”

Rayleigh relents, leaving the other man to writhe in pain on the floor. He looks at you, uncertain for a moment as if fearing you might think ill of him for what you've witnessed; that couldn't be farther from the truth, and you make sure to smile at him. 

“We’re ready to go.”

“Good.”

Neither of you speaks as you leave the house, Rayleigh and Shiru looking curiously at each other while Hana, who seems to have already decided she likes you, keeps close to your side. 

You wrap a protective arm around the child’s shoulders as you walk her to the neighbours’ door and, once again, ring the bell. The older couple who comes answering is at first suspicious of having been disturbed so late at night, but when they see little Hana is still trembling in fear, and you explain what has happened, they unhesitatingly accept hosting her for the night, and as long as it will be necessary. They are both members of the local police, so you're sure the girl will be safe with them. 

“I'll send Shiru over tomorrow, so you can do your homework together.” you promise, and Hana thanks you, looking already a little better now that her father can no longer hurt her.

Having made sure the child is safe and cared for, you return to your son, who is waiting for you on the sidewalk, looking suspiciously at the house you have just taken him out of as if fearing Hana’s father could come out of it looking for a rematch. 

“Sorry if I called you, mom.” 

“What are you saying? You did well calling for help, and I’m proud you worried about your friend’s safety as well as yours; what could you have to apologise for?” you ask, genuinely confused, and your son bites his lips, looking as ashamed of himself as he did on the day, three years ago, when he confessed that yes, he had been the one to break the neighbour’s window with a snowball, a crime he had denied three times because he feared you would get angry. He’s still shaken, safe but well aware of what could have happened if Rayleigh hadn’t been there to help, or if he and Hana hadn’t had anyone to call, and after a sniff you see tears fill those eyes that are the same colour as yours.

“It’s just… I called you because I was afraid, I knew Hana’s father would have hurt us, but… I thought you’d be alone, and you’re a woman, he’s a man, and I… I knew I could put you in danger, that he could lock you in the house and… and…” your poor child’s voice breaks, the prospect he’s unable to put into words too terrible for his innocent soul to deal with “But I didn’t know what else to do… I’m so sorry, mom, I was selfish, I only thought about me…”

“Oh, my darling…”

You hug him tight, running your hand through Shiru’s hair as you rock him gently, the way you had done when he was small enough to be held in your arms, and the sound of your voice was enough to soothe his nightmares away. “You did nothing wrong. It’s my job to worry about you, not the other way around; and the mistake was mine, to let you go to Hana’s house before I had made sure his parents were… well, what his father is not.” you admit “I’m so sorry I put you in trouble; I promise it won’t happen again.”

A couple of minutes spent in each other’s embrace help calm both your and your son’s nerves; Shiru dries his tears, while you turn in the direction of Rayleigh, who is smiling softly, his brown eyes filled with something that you could almost call regret, if you weren’t so sure your ex-lover is physically unable to experience such an emotion.

“Shiru.” you say as you wrap an arm around your son’s shoulders “I’d like you to meet an old friend of mine. Rayleigh, this is Shiru, my first and lastborn.”

“Hello, kid.”

Your son blinks; finally, and suddenly, able to match a name to the face, he points a finger against his interlocutor. “You’re Silvers Rayleigh!” he cries, eyes wide with wonder and voice heavy with delight “The Dark King! Gold Roger’s first mate.”

“That’s me, yes. That’s who I was, at least.”

“Did you really find the treasure? The One Piece?”

“We sure did.”

“What is it? Can you tell me? I promise I won’t tell!” your son excitedly asks, and Rayleigh grins, pressing a fingertip to your son’s nose like the village’s elders did to good-naturedly tease the children when you were young.

“Well, if you do want to know you’ll have to take to the sea and find it yourself.” he points out, and your heart swells at the sight of the two men who are dearer to you than any other in the Four Blues getting to know each other. You had been so worried about this, like you had been worried when it had become necessary to introduce Shiru to Kou, and the situation is different now, since Rayleigh is not your partner, but seeing the two of them get along does fill you with joy.

And hope.

“I’m sorry for your dad, kid.” Rayleigh says once the three of you have started on the way home, much less hurried than the one your ex-lover followed you on to Hana’s house; Shiru blinks, nonplussed for a moment, before smiling.

“Oh, you mean Kou? He wasn’t my father, he was only mom’s husband.”

“... what?”

“My dad’s name is Akira; he and mom were together for a few years but broke up when I was two. He works for the World Economy News, so he travels around a lot, but once in a while he returns so we can hang out. Mom and Kou got married when I was five, and he died almost two years ago in an accident; he was a really good guy.” Shiru explains sadly, shrugging helplessly in the face of that complicated situation he has no fault for but because of which he suffered more than anyone else “And… I’m sorry about your captain. I know the two of you were friends.”

“We were.” Rayleigh confirms, the same longing and regret in his eyes that you feel when thinking about your shared past “He was… he was my brother; I don’t think there’s another man in the world like him.”

“Can you tell me something about him?”

“Sure, if your mom doesn’t mind.”

You don’t, and so it is that Rayleigh and Shiru spend the next twenty minutes discussing the past adventures of the Roger Pirates at sea; arriving home, you send your son to his room, since it’s way past his bedtime and he’ll have to get up early to go to school tomorrow.

“Hana will be alright, won’t she, mom?”

“I’m sure she will, darling; but just to be sure I’ll talk to her neighbours tomorrow, in case her father tries taking her back.” you say, worried for that poor little girl as if she were your own. Maybe one day Shiru will be the one needing help while you’re unable to go to his rescue, and hopefully someone will step in to protect him “And I promised you’ll go help her with whatever schoolwork she’ll miss tomorrow.” 

Shiru nods; standing on the doorway, he hugs you thigh as you kiss his forehead, then you see him grin as his gaze moves from you to the man who is standing a few steps away, arms to his chest, smiling wistfully at the two of you. “Bye, Rayleigh; thanks a lot, you saved both Hana and me.”

“It was a pleasure, kid; good night.”

A moment later the door has closed, leaving you and Rayleigh alone, the atmosphere behind you much less tense than it was an hour ago but still touched by uncertainty, as if you were both walking a tightrope and didn’t know how to move in concert to avoid falling. You know you owe him an explanation, especially after what he did tonight, and you ask nothing better than to be able to give it… assuming Rayleigh is willing to listen. 

“Thank you.” you murmur in the end, after a brief moment you and your ex-lover have spent in silence, neither knowing what to say “For tonight. You didn’t have to do that, and… I doubt I would have been able to force that bastard to back off and let the kids go on my own, no matter how angry I was. You probably saved us all, and I’m really, really grateful.”

“Well, two children were in danger; everything else is secondary.” he points out, as if to stress that he intervened more out of principle and for Shiru and Hana’s sake than for any reason connected to you. Which is exactly what you deserve, and you order yourself not to feel disappointed by it. 

“Still, I’m very grateful. Rayleigh…”

On impulse you reach forward to take his hand, squeezing it in the hope of convincing him to stay, to give you one more chance to prove to him how important he has always been and still is for you. “I’m truly sorry for how I acted earlier; it was wrong of me to accuse you, especially since you had always been nothing but loyal and faithful when we were together. I guess that seeing you with another woman… threw me off, in a way. Maybe it hurt because until then I had been able to fool myself and ignore the truth.”

Rayleigh frowns; he hasn’t let go of your hand yet. “What truth?”

“That I do want to be with you, still or again doesn’t matter; and that my feelings for you haven’t changed either.”

Uttering those words is hard, and fills you with humiliation, but at the same it is somehow liberating, as if you had freed yourself of a heavy weight you had carried around for so long. You sigh, well aware that you have more to confess, and the expressionless look on your ex-lover’s face doesn’t exactly encourage you to open your heart and discuss feelings you have barely dared recognising in the privacy of your heart.

“I should have told you about Shiru; but I didn’t, for a reason that concerns him and one that concerns me.” you go on; the street is silent and dark around you, and while the window of your son’s bedroom on the first floor is illuminated you know he can’t hear you from there, which is more than a little reassuring “Protecting Shiru is my first and foremost interest, something I can easily sacrifice my happiness to. He’s a mature child, and I don’t think he would oppose me having a partner, especially since he seems to have taken a liking to you, but I didn’t want to introduce him to someone I wasn’t reasonably sure would stay. Shiru sees his father three times a year, not to mention all the times he has seen the two of us fight, and has mourned Kou until only a short time ago; there is difference between a parent’s partner and a parent, but… I wouldn’t want him to get attached to someone unless I were in a serious relationship with them. Not if there’s an even slight chance he could lose them out of the blue.”

“You could have at least told me of his existence.” Rayleigh points out softly; he’s observing you keenly, as if to test your sincerity “And why you’d rather not introduce us for the time being. I wouldn’t have insisted.”

“I know. That’s because of the other reason, the one that concerns me rather than Shiru.”

“Which is?”

“Well, back when we were young you always said you didn’t want children.” you explain “I could never regret having Shiru, but… well, for a while I feared that his existence could be a dealbreaker; that you wouldn’t want to be with me now that I am a mother.”

The sigh that escapes Rayleigh’s lips reminds you of that day four years ago Shiru had taken it into his head to go to school wearing his new pajamas to show them to the whole class, slippers included, and you couldn’t for the life of you convince him to change. “For fuck’s sake, (name)...”

 “It was stupid, I know. I’m so, so sorry…”

“I know you are. I know. Listen, do you want to…?”

You do want to, and a moment later you have covered the brief distance separating you and let Rayleigh’s arms wrap around your waist and shoulders to pull you close to that body you no longer know better than your own, but whose enveloping warmth still manages to soothe your pain. You cling to his shoulders, hiding your face in Rayleigh’s neck enough to fill your senses with his scent, intense and vaguely musky; you sigh, letting your body rest against his while he lulls you gently, a kiss pressed to your temple.

The embrace lingers for a while, both you and Rayleigh loathe to break it; when you finally part your smile meets his, shy and tentative but sincere nonetheless. In a murmur, you ask Rayleigh whether he’d like to have dinner with us tomorrow night, an offer that is gladly accepted.

“Her name is Gloriosa.”

“Sorry?”

“The woman you saw me with; her name is Gloriosa, she’s a member of the Kuja Pirates.” Rayleigh explains “Her crew and ours were friends, and… well, she’s doing me the favour of holding on to something safe for me, at least for a while. I gave her Roger’s sword.”

“Oh!”

Out in the open, still keeping your ex-lover’s hands in yours, you are made aware of a secret that very few people in the world know and that the World Government would give anything to discover: Gold Roger, the recently departed King of the Pirates and Rayleigh’s best friend, has or will soon have a child, conceived soon before his death. The child’s life would be in extreme danger if their very existence became public, but before he surrendered himself to the Marines Roger asked Rayleigh to make sure his sword, a cutlass named Ace that was the King of the Pirates’ trademark weapon, went to his heir once they reached adulthood. 

“The Kuja will hold the sword until then; Gloriosa had… a fondness for Roger, so I know she’ll keep it safe.” Rayleigh concludes, somehow wistfully as his thoughts go back to his dearest friend, and you nod, despite your complete lack of interest in piracy well aware of the monumental importance of the secret you had been confided in. You promise you won’t tell anyone about both the sword and the existence of the child, perhaps still unborn, it is destined to, and Rayleigh assures you that he knows, because he knows you and tonight has given him a way to see a child doesn’t need to be born from your womb to elicit feelings of protectiveness.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” he adds, but you refuse to break the hold of your hands, forbidding Rayleigh to take more than a single step away from you. “(name)...”

“I don’t want to let you go.” you say. You have been forgiven and a small but important step forward has been made towards a new relationship between you and your ex-lover, which means you have every reason to be happy, and you are - so happy that you feel yourself break at the mere thought of seeing him leave again, all too aware that if the emergency with Shiru hadn’t occurred, by this time you would have probably said good-bye forever, and you would have been left alone again “Rayleigh, I’m so sorry…”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright…”

“I’ve been stupid, but I’ve missed you so much, please don’t leave…”

“I won’t; we’re fine, darling, I promise I won’t leave again, not without telling you at least.” Rayleigh murmurs soothing; he holds you close again, resting his forehead against yours, tense as if that sudden proximity were forcing him to muster every ounce of self-control in his possession not to snap. When he speaks again, his voice sounds less like a whisper and more like a growl, his hold on your body growing possessive, almost desperate “Tell me what I can do; how can I prove it to you how desperately I want you, (name)?” 

You sniff, meeting his eyes as you struggle to muster the courage to answer that question.

And then you do.

Less than a minute later you’re closing the house door behind you, feeling vaguely dazed, fingertips still covering your lips.

“Are you alright, mom?” Shiru asks. He meets you in the living room, already wearing his pajamas -not the set he was stubbornly determined to wear for school, given the several inches he has grown by since then- and you see him frown for a moment, but fortunately he’s still a few years too young to recognise the emotions on your face, and he naively assumes you and Rayleigh took a while to say goodbye, like adults often do “Rayleigh is really great, by the way. You never told me you knew him!”

Pursing your lips is the only way you have to keep a smile from spilling out. “It was a long time ago; but I think we’ll be friends again from now on, which is great.” you say, wrapping your arm around your son’s shoulders. Less than an hour passed since you ran out of the house fearing the worst for his safety, and the relief of knowing he’s back home, safe and sound and none the worse for wear, is so intense it makes your legs tremble “What about a glass of warm milk before we both go to bed?”

*****

The dinner, which you were so nervous about, goes without a hitch. Rayleigh brings you another beautiful bouquet of sunflowers -he refuses to tell you where he gets them, “Just in case another suitor steals the idea from me.”- Shiru lets himself be recruited as your sous-chef to help make sure everything is ready on time, and you spend a lovely evening in the company of both, who quickly start growing fond of each other. 

A few weeks pass in this new, tentative but pleasant menage, with you and Rayleigh spending time together as a sort-of couple alone, and in the company of your son over dinner. You have never asked your ex-lover to stay the night, nor has he invited you to share his bed at the inn, but whenever physical contact does happen between the two of you -an embrace at the end of a shared dinner, his hand taking yours to offer help, an arm slipped under another during a stroll- your gazes meet, and you see in the brown eyes of your ex-lover the same desire you feel boiling in your heart, a clear sign of the temptation your growing intimacy is making more and more difficult to resist.

Still, time passes peacefully for a while, until one day Rayleigh utters the words you would give half of your blood, and one third of the secret recipes that have made your restaurant the top eatery in the archipelago, not to hear: I’m leaving.

“It’s just for a few days.” he hurries to add, having noticed and probably anticipated your crestfallen expression; you’re sitting on a bench at the harbour, close to the newest site your ex-lover and his team have been called to work at. Rayleigh has by now become an expert coating mechanic and sincerely enjoys his work, which is great for him and also for you, since a stable job would be a reason more for settling down, even though you can’t help feeling ashamed about the selfishness of your thoughts “I promise, I will be back soon. There’s something I need to do.”

“What is it? Can you tell me?”

“Let’s say someone I was very fond of needs my help. I’d rather not say more, and not because I don’t trust you.” Rayleigh says, calm but serious, as his hand finds yours and squeezes it gently in reassurance. You nod numbly, forbidding yourself from insisting, because you don’t want to be that sort of woman nor that sort of partner, even though you’re pretty sure the only reason why your lover might decide not to share the reason of his absence with you -apart from the possibility that he’s going to meet another woman with you being none the wiser, which you’re proud to say your brain doesn’t even consider- is that it entails a danger and he doesn’t want to make you worry “I’ll be back before you know it; I promise it’s going to be alright.”

You do your best to believe him, silently telling yourself you better get used to this sort of situation; Rayleigh might have left piracy behind at the death of his best friend and captain, but he’s not the sort of man who could be happy with a life spent between his workplace, an inn and the meals you prepare for him. He’s a fighter, your lover is, this is the sort of life he has chosen and since you both want you to also be part of it, you better accept even those parts you’re a little more unsure about.

“Alright then; I’ll miss you terribly, but if it’s important you obviously have to go.” you say in your most tranquil, confident tone “You’re leaving tonight? Can I make you some provisions for the road?”

Rayleigh smiles, touched; his palm cups your cheek, after which a kiss, innocent but fond, is pressed to your forehead. “You really are a treasure, you know?” 

“That’s quite the compliment, coming from one who has seen the One Piece.”

“Darling, believe me when I say no wonder in the Grand Line could compare to you. And thank you, but I’m all set.”

You spend a few more minutes together before you need to part. You have made plans to meet a few of your friends for coffee and you don’t want to miss it, even though it means cutting short the last moments you and Rayleigh have to spend together before his departure. Your lover walks you home as he always insists on doing, a sentiment you’re secretly flattered by.

“I’ll see you soon. Say hi to Shiru for me.”

“I will. And…”

Quickly, in order not to give yourself time to hesitate and desist out of fear, you rest a hand on the back of Rayleigh’s head and press your lips to his. He’s startled for a moment, but then the kiss is quickly returned, a muscled arm wrapped around your waist pulling you close; you feel him grin into it, and close your eyes, losing yourself in the sensation that, many years and several other relationships later, you have never fully forgotten.

God, it feels so good!

You’re still on the sidewalk, in front of the house your son could see you from simply opening his bedroom’s window and in clear view of so many people, but you don’t care - you wouldn’t care if a whole platoon of Marines were converging upon you. The kiss is short but intense, the sort that usually serves as the prelude of a long and diverse list of pastimes, and even though this is not the case for you yet, it makes your heart soar.  

“Just in case you were considering not returning the very minute you’re physically able to.” you murmur as you finally break the contact, much earlier than you wished to; you see the dazed expression on Rayleigh’s face, feel the way his muscles tense in a desperate attempt at self-control, and something clenches inside of you.

“Duly noted. I see you haven’t lost your touch, (name).”

“Glad to hear it. Look after yourself, alright?” you ask, and Rayleigh smiles, kissing your brow once again and keeping you close for a moment longer, as if your scent and the feeling of your body in his arms were the sole provision he needed to make it through the upcoming separation.

“I promise I will.”

[shatcey-tales]

𝙿𝐚𝚛𝐭 𝟷𝟎. 𝐎𝚕𝐝 𝚏𝐫𝚒𝐞𝚗𝐝𝚜

<=Previous Prologue

Around 2210. Irina / William / Victor

William's room was on the top floor of the building. I could barely keep up with the men ahead. Damn… it's several hours after midnight and they seem not affected by fatigue. After two years of a normal life, I've already forgotten what it’s like to stay up all night. I'm not complaining. There must be a great view from his room… It's just… that the day was waaaaay too long…

William opened the door for me and let me in. The first thing I saw was a huge window.

Irina: Good heavens! I was right… the view is amazing…

William chuckled behind me.

Victor: Is this the only thing you were thinking about?

Irina: No. I was thinking I'm tired. So… let's get down to business so we can all go to sleep. 

William gestured for me to sit down, which I did. They sat down across from me. A knock at the door surprised me. Right after our arrival? Who could it be…

William opened the door and took a paper from the servant. Oh, I see.

Irina: They didn't find much, right?

William turned to me and smiled. He gave the note to Victor and he read it aloud.

Victor: "Started working at the post office two years ago. Everything prior to that is unknown. Lives in a small rented room in the East End. No known family or friends. ”

Victor looked at me, and the aura of authority settled around him once more.

Victor: Who are you?

Irina: It's Irina. 

Victor: You said you were tired. It would be easier just to tell us everything.

I smirked, leaning back. Wow… what a fine fabric. And it's hugging me so nicely. If I don't concentrate on the conversation well enough, I might just fall asleep.

Irina: Ask then… I won't lie.

Victor: You mentioned a bad day… What was it?

Irina: It was, no doubt, the worst day I've ever had.

William: Even worse than your first day on the street?

The memories of that day surfaced once again… I twitched and instantly corrected myself.

Irina: One of the worst…

Victor: So it's true… you two knew each other.

William smiled.

William: We were kids back then… Twelve, I think…

Irina: You were a kid. I AM older.

William: She just called me a kid… can you believe it?

And he laughed merrily. Victor looked stunned as if he felt out of place.

Victor: How did you meet?

William: Simple… she stole from me.

Victor: What?

William laughed again.

Irina: He caught me red-handed… I was sure he'd drag me to the policemen or demand I make it up to him somehow.

Victor: Why would you think that way?

I smiled sadly remembering my young self.

Irina: All the people I saw worked hard from dawn till dusk and never got rich. So I thought... rich people must have done something terrible to earn their wealth. I thought… all of them are bad people. So I never felt the slightest bit ashamed to steal from them. But he surprised me…

The scene from the past appeared before my eyes as if it was happening right at this moment.

[flashback]

Little William caught Little Irina by the arm.

Little Irina: Let me go!

Little William: Why?

Little Irina: Why what?

Little William: Why do you steal?

Little Irina: If I don't steal, I will die.

Little William: You don't have parents?

Little Irina frowned.

Little Irina: Mum got married and couldn't keep me.

Little William: What does that mean?

Little Irina: No rich will understand. Let me go.

He sighed irritably at her words but instantly the idea struck him.

Little William: Do you want this? Then take it…

He let her go and stretched out his hand with a silver pocket watch. She cautiously looked at the boy, not trusting him one bit, but he continued calmly stretching out his hand. She snatched the watch, still expecting him to change his mind and scream for the policemen, but he was silent.

Little William: Just… polish the engravings. So nothing would lead back to the original owner.

This was the first kindness she had ever seen from a stranger. And more so from a rich person. Everything she had believed was shattered by that small act of kindness. Tears blurred her vision, but she stubbornly refused to looked away.

Little William: See you.

He smiled and just continued walking as if nothing had happened.

[flashback ends]

Irina: I followed your advice…

William: Really?

I took out the pocket watch and showed it to him.

Irina: See? It's polished…

William nodded, looking proudly at me. I put the watch away.

Irina: Have you got into trouble because of it?

William: No. Father was always too busy to pay attention to trinkets…

I nodded. Well, that was rich people for you… For him it's just a trinket, for a commoner it would be an unimaginable treasure… Wait a minute… 

Irina: How do you know about my first day? I didn’t mention that…

William: People talk…

Did he spy on me? Good heavens! How long did they observe me? The shock was probably apparent on my face. William chuckled.

William: Nothing like that… I just heard it from one of my friends…

Irina: Oh…

Victor: Awww… I'm so envious…

I turned to look at Victor.

Victor: You met him before me.

He looked so genuinely distressed. It was absolutely adorable. I couldn't help but laugh merrily. I don’t remember the last time I’d laughed that openly. It had been too long. 

Irina: It was a fleeting meeting. You have nothing to be jealous of.

Victor: No… you can't fool me! It was something remarkable… I wish I had been there too…

I smiled, looking at his pouting lips. How does he do it? One moment a harsh leader, the next - an adorably cute man. 

William: So… you were in the thieves' guild.

I slowly nodded.

William: Why did you leave?

Irina: I had… a disagreement with the leader.

Victor: About?

Irina: About who we can and cannot steal from.

William: Was it because of me?

Irina: Don't flatter yourself!

We laughed together.

Victor: What was your position?

Irina: Only those who deserve it. People who treat others as pawns. People who think of themselves as more privileged… People who steal and abuse others.

Victor: Just like Robin Hood.

Irina: Do I look like an idiot who'd give away hard-earned money?

Victor: No?

Irina: I needed money to free myself.

William: What? 

I exhaled.

Irina: Getting into the thieves' guild is easy. Just steal once and you're on their hook. They promise you free food and a roof over your head. You just need to keep stealing… But getting out of it… You need to pay a huge compensation fee. 

Victor: I had no idea…

He looked shocked to the bone. 

Of course… how could you? The officials never stuck their noses into the slums… so they had no idea about our rules and problems. For us, surviving was a constant race against time… with each other… with our own principles… I saw many people go mad from that pressure. Many people were bent by it and started to do literally anything. I chose the thieves' guild myself. I had to deal with the consequences as well.

Irina: I would have left them many years ago, but I couldn't do it… only until two years ago. That's how long I worked for them. If I had stolen from everyone, it would have happened faster… My principles cost me a lot of time…

William frowned.

William: Fourteen years?

I nodded.

William: Why didn't you sell the watch? It cost a bit…

Irina: A bit? 

William smiled at my sarcastic tone.

Much later I saw a similar watch at a party. And the noble boasted about it. It wasn't just a sum. It was the price of a lifetime of hard labor. So he had a point… I could easily have freed myself if I'd sold it… if I'd found the right fence. But by then I had already polished away the engravings, and it looked more like a commoner's watch. Although it was expensive, not that much… And… I couldn’t do it anyway.

I put my hand on my pocket.

Irina: I need it. It's a reminder so I won't forget.

William: Me?

Irina: Does your ego know no bounds?

He giggled, and this finally cleared the heavy atmosphere.

Victor: I feel like a third wheel...

Irina: Oh, come on… 

Victor: You have that cute little secret from childhood and I have nothing of the sort.

Irina: I’m sure you two also have a lot of secrets on your own…

Victor and William exchanged glances and nodded.

Irina: See? I don’t feel remotely envious…

William: How sad…

Irina: Why? 

William: I thought we had a special connection…

Irina: And for that reason I should feel jealous? 

We stared one another down, barely holding back laughter. 

Victor: I wish we had that connection…

I turned towards the wistful tone in his voice… His eyes shone with genuine amusement. Was it a joke? I looked deeply into his eyes, feeling again that strange magnetism… They really were beautiful. And there was something… so very familiar about him…

William: Oh, can’t believe you already fell for another man!

I was freed from Victor’s spell and turned to William.

Irina: I just thought how beautiful his eyes are…

William: And mine?

Irina: They are creepy.

Victor: Well, at least I beat him at something. 

We all shared a laugh. As the laughter faded, my eyes fell on the corner of the letter peeking from William's pocket. I jerked my chin towards it.

Irina: What is this letter about?

William took it out, turned it over a couple of times in his hands, then tucked it back into his pocket. 

Irina: Oh, I see… It’s secret information. Now you’re suddenly become serious.

William: We are always serious.

Irina: If you were, you wouldn't make such stupid mistakes.

William: Touché. 

Victor put his eyes down as if feeling guilty.

Irina: Whatever. I’ll find out on my own.

William: I didn’t expect anything else from you.

Victor: I doubt any information would leave this room…

Irina: We’ll see…

I frowned, already deciding who out of my numerous acquaintances would be best for that job. Considering how much information already slipped outside, it won’t be a problem to find. But… if the stream of information hasn't dried up until now, it only means one thing…

Irina: You knew about your security problems… but let it be… Why?

Victor exchanged glances with William.

Victor: There are people who are still needed…

Irina: And you let them ruin your work?

Victor: You ask the most inconvenient questions.

Irina: Well, someone has to…

William: Victor is an aide to Her Majesty the Queen.

Irina: Is that supposed to impress or scare me?

William giggled. Victor looked extremely surprised. What can I say? I've never felt either fear or reverence toward power.

Irina: Let’s pretend I'm impressed and scared. But that won't change the fact that you have a security problem.

Victor: Which you will fix…

He said pointedly. Although the soft smile was frozen on his face, the eyes were more than serious. I smirked.

Irina: Since I promised — I will.

William: Just like Jude…

I mentally recalled the faces of the men I had met just today…

Irina: The fairy who left the way out but nobody believed in her kindness…

William: A perfect description.

Irina: Actually this is the first time somebody compares me with someone… Usually they say how inconvenient I am.

Victor: Maybe you are related?

I shook my head. 

Irina: No, I’m the only child. At least… When I last saw my mother I was the only child.

William frowned as if he recalled what I said to him back then.

Victor: Actually… you remind me more of Alfons.

I once again remember all the men.

Irina: The man who likes to tell tales? Don't like him. Too slippery.

William laughed.

William: You’re very good at that.

Returning to the business mode, I asked.

Irina: I'm not allowed to touch the people you still need…

Victor shook his head.

Irina: You're not making this easy for me…

Victor smiled apologetically. What a lovely smile…

Irina: I have my old connections. And… damn if I ever turned away from my goal…

William: I told you she's interesting…

Victor: But you said you wanted to uncover her secrets. And you already know all of them. Not fair!!!

William laughed and I let out a long exhale. I remembered all the people I'd met today, and a strange thought surfaced: I had seen them all before, long before today. Perhaps it was I who had followed them…

And now I’m here, in the company of probably the most dangerous men in this city. The road ahead of me has never been this difficult. But I felt completely at peace, as if for the first time I believed everything would be all right. As if my luck had finally come back to me… And lulled by these thoughts I drifted into peaceful sleep.

Interesting fact

I mentioned this in my comments to an exchange gifts last year. But I’d like to remind you, just in case you missed it. By the rules of etiquette, a man enters first into places that could be dangerous or unknown, and only after he makes sure it is safe does he invite his lady in. For that exact reason, nowadays men enter an elevator/lift first. Well, at least the few who know about it. In this scene, William let Irina come into his room first. It's a sign of showing her it's safe; it's a sign of showing her that she is a welcome guest.

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