Ways I have written/would write different Bats out of my fics because they’d be a liability to the plot:
Bruce
He’s on a Justice League mission in space
He’s undercover as Matches Malone and Cannot Be Contacted
He decided he’s a Loner and Doesn’t Need Family again
No one’s willing to open a comm channel to him because he’s currently on a mission with Selina
Barbara
She’s busy leading the Birds of Prey
She has the flu and you will bother her under penalty of death
Her father is in the hospital and she won’t leave his bedside
She refuses to get involved in Batfamily-Typical Emotional Repression
She’s currently elbow-deep in some government’s computer system, so no distractions allowed
Dick
He’s in Bludhaven and busy
He’s on a Titans mission in space
He’s fighting with Bruce and won’t return to Gotham for anything less than an emergency
He’s having his yearly mental breakdown, leave him alone
Cass
She’s in Hong Kong
She is off visiting or training with Lady Shiva
She’s on important Birds of Prey business
She’s hanging out with Barbara and/or Steph so you can’t bother her for anything short of an emergency
Jason
He’s away with the Outlaws
He refuses to be involved in anything
He’s currently a villain
He’s dead again for unexplained reasons, but don’t worry, he’ll be fine
Steph
People are still mad at her for faking her death and won’t contact her
She’s spending time with her mom, who is miraculously off work at this specific time
The other characters literally forgot she existed (it’s meta, okay?)
It’s midterm season at GothamU
Tim
He’s with the Teen Titans in space/California
He’s with Young Justice in space
His Dad wants to take him to a baseball game
He had a paranoid episode and went off the grid
Duke
He’s with his parents at the hospital
He’s living with his mom or his cousin so he’s not around
He’s sleeping because he’s on day shift
He’s hanging out/completing important work with We Are Robin
Damian
I’ve set things earlier in the timeline solely so that he’s still at the League of Assassins. Sorry Dami.
He’s at school
He’s off visiting Jon Kent and his family wants him to have a normal childhood so they won’t bother him
He’s on a mission with the Teen Titans
Kate
She’s too busy for this BS
It’s Rosh HaShanah or some other holiday that I spent 20 minutes researching calendar coincidences to confirm fell on that day of the week within the correct year
She’s on a date and if you bother her you’re homophobic
Alfred
He’s on vacation in England
He’s dead
And worst comes to worst, I can just give them broken ribs or a sprained ankle.
