seen from Netherlands
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from China
seen from Switzerland
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Poland
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from Italy
seen from Switzerland
seen from Canada
seen from Austria
seen from United States
£975.43 worth of calls to be precise. And 95% were sex chat lines. Riotous Rita seems to have been a particular favourite. I asked for an itemized billing. I only hope that Punk got value for money.
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
I was interrupted by the sound of ‘Roxanne’ coming from my pocket. It took a while to make the connection: Roxanne, Ringtone, Mobile phone. You know how it is. Or perhaps you don’t.
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
People know that I have some indiscreet photographs of you, because, as the sayiing goes, they read all about it in the papers. They will hear the tape recording of you grovelling before me, asking me to return the footage. We even have the photographs to prove it. What was it that you said? Ah yes, I remember. ‘It is not the truth, but people’s perception of the truth that matters.
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
Even I knew it was a ridiculous plan, so why was The Vicar so convinced that it would work? For the first time, I began to fear the Master was losing his touch.
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
“Yes, yes,” I said. “I deed it. I deed it all. I read your emails. But if you tell people I will be ruined. Ruined.” I crawled over and clung to his legs. “I will give you anything. Money, Girls. I know many girls. But you must not tell anyone. Please. Please. You must do this for me. We all make mistakes. One little mistake. One stupid little mistake and I will be ruined. This is so unfair.” I was now genuinely in tears. “So unfair. You’ve got to believe me. I did not mean to lie. I was so stupid. You must give me another chance. I beg you. I beg you. I kiss your feet. I bow down. I grovel.”
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
Now I know quite a lot of this story is happening on boats, but I don’t want to mislead anyone – maybe fooled by those exotic music videos – into thinking that this is normal for the music business. It’s not.
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
Shit, shitty, shit, shit. Shit. SHIT!
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
What if the Vicar was a fucking poofter? What if he shagged sheep in that mansion of his? What if one of his partners in that venture of his with nice little Steve Labelle had a huge pair of devil horns ready to gouge his pert white holier than thou back side?” He picked up his phone again. “Better beware my innocent little Vicar. What if the world of vulture capital has sharks that even you can’t tame? Ho ho ho! Beware Santa bearing money.”
'The Absurd Nonsense of the Orange Eyebrow' by Punk Sanderson
