𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫
*Gif and pics not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Will Halstead x Fem!Reader.
• Requested: yes by anon.
• Summary: danger is always behind the corner and you learn to never let your guard down when you find yourself in a situation between life and death. Will your husband be able to save you? Will he find you in time?
• Warnings: mention of domestic violence, stab wound, blood, cursing, Will is kind of a dumbass at the beginning (what can we say? Men…)
• Word count: 5642.
• A/N: I fucking hate how this turned out bye. I’m sorry for any mistake or grammar error.
That morning everything seemed normal.
You treated patients, cured some, discharged others and between one break and another you wasted no time going to your husband to give him a little kiss.
“What do you want eat tonight baby?” he asked. You and Will were in the doctors' break room during one of the aforementioned breaks, only the two of you in there. You were sitting on the small couch next to each other, his arm around your shoulders while you ate a bag of chips.
“Do you want to cook?”.
He looked at you for a moment and you chuckled at his expression. You both had to do a double shift that day so you knew neither of you would even want to go near the kitchen once you got back home.
“I’d like Mexican, what you think?”.
“Hell yeah! You know I never say no to Mexican food.”
He laughed at the enthusiasm you showed, meanwhile playing with strands of your hair. “Mexican it is then.”
You continued to devour the chips under your husband’s gaze who looked at you as if he had seen a mystical creature for the first time. “What? I’m hungry.” You babbled with your mouth half full.
“You don't even share with your beloved husband? So greedy.”
You glared at him before taking the last chip left in the bag and shoving it into your mouth, moaning heartily in his face. “No matter how much I love you, you know very well I don't share my food with anyone.”
He rolled his eyes, trying to hide a smile. “Wipe your mouth you pretty little bitch.”
But before you could reach for a tissue he came closer to you and licked the corner of your mouth, bursting out laughing when you pushed him away, wiping yourself with a tissue from the coffee table in front of you. “Ew Will you're disgusting!”
“Disgusting? You don't seem to complain when you take my dick in...-”
You covered his mouth with your hand before he could finish his sentence and let someone hear, feeling him smile as his eyes glistened at you. You should’ve predicted though that in true child style, he’d lick the palm of your hand.
“Will for fuck’s sake! Stop it!”.
“I can’t! God baby you're so easy to piss of,” he continued laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. You looked at him sideways before wiping your hand on his white coat. “C’mon give me a kiss now, come on.”
He wrapped his arms around your hips, trying to pull you towards him to kiss you while you tried to push him away by pressing your hands on his chest.
“No! Go away!”.
You continued to fight like children until, however, that playful atmosphere was interrupted when the door opened and Maggie entered.
“Here you are! Stop acting like lovebirds and go back to work. We have two new patients, victims of a car crash.”
After quickly washing your hands you left the break room, following Will and Maggie. You and Will exchanged a look before splitting up to go to the two patients.
The patient you took into your care – whose name you found out was Amanda – was in a critical condition: fractures of the femur and humerus not to mention the small fractures in almost her entire body, a sprained arm that would’ve required a cast, an internal hemorrhage due to the rupture of the spleen.
As you and the nurses worked to stabilize Amanda as quickly as possible, you couldn't help but notice something that bothered you quite a bit.
On her lower back, around her arms, on her thighs there were bruises that were not compatible with the dynamics of the car crash and which based on their almost faded color seemed to date back to some time ago.
“Amanda, did you have another accident a few days ago?” You asked her, your voice low so the rest of the team wouldn't hear you. She looked at you with a heartbroken expression and her eyes filled with tears before shaking her head.
“I'm just very clumsy and distracted, I often fall or bump into furniture and doors.”
Her voice was shaking and your heart tightened, knowing it was a complete lie.
“Amanda… You're safe here okay? Say one word, anything and whoever did this won't hurt you again...”
“No, no, no, no,” she became agitated and her heart monitor began to beep from her rapid heartbeat. “Please don't say anything doctor… He… Please. He's a good husband, he's just a little tired and stressed lately.”
“Hey, hey, it's okay Amanda, it's okay. I'm just here to help you.” You shook her hand and she nodded weakly. “But whatever he told you, it isn’t…-”
“It’s fine just… Just cure me.” She tore her eyes away from yours, bringing them to the ceiling even if more tears continued to fall.
It was clear that Amanda was a victim of domestic violence, she was literally terrified of her husband. You felt helpless, your heart broke for her even if you couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.
You were treating that woman knowing she’d go home and her husband would start beating her again. What kind of doctor were you if you hadn't helped her?
But how could you help someone who didn't want to be helped?
You should’ve called the police, but what would you have said to them? It was your assumption even if all the bruises and healed bone fractures were evidence of physical abuse, but you knew how the police worked, they couldn't do anything if there was no complaint from the victim. And you knew if you called them, Amanda would deny everything and it’d affect her worse than it already did.
You sent Amanda to run some tests and left her room after throwing away your gloves and washing your hands. Your mind was only focused on her as you filled out her medical records so much you didn't even hear Will come closer to you until he put his hand around her waist to great you, leaving a kiss on you temple.
“Baby you okay? How is the wife?” He asked as he picked up her bastard husband's newly created medical record.
“She was in critical condition but I believe she’ll make full recovery. The husband?”.
“He was luckier, he only suffered a few bruises and small fractures. The guy must be madly in love with his wife, all he did was ask about her and say he wanted to see her.”
“I think Amanda is a victim of domestic violence, your guy isn't in love at all,” you voiced your concerns before placing your pen on the papers and looking at Will.
“You sure?”.
“She has bruises all over her body clearly from days ago and her X-Rays show old healed fractures. Not mentioning how she’s terrified of him.”
“Wow…” Will breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “There must be an explanation…”
“Babe did you hear a word I just said? We have to help that woman. He’ll kill sooner or later.”
“Don't you think you're a little bit exaggerating a little love?” Will put his hands on your shoulders “If she doesn't tell you anything there's nothing we can do…”
“Will, he beats the shit out of her and God knows what else does to her!” You whispered/shouted with frustration. “She doesn't say anything so we let that bastard beat her?”.
“I didn’t mean that! What I was trying to say is just… Don't jump to conclusions, there must be other reasons why she must’ve gotten those bruises…”
“Oh yeah of course. She must hit herself on the side so hard she left a shoe imprint on her skin for fun. This really makes sense.” You snapped the folder close and walked away, ignoring Will who tried to call you out.
You were pissed off.
It was always the same exact story, over and over again.
How the fuck were women supposed to trust the system and report abuses when those who were part of this system didn't even believe them?
You talked to Amanda, stood by her side during her MRI and the other tests, keeping her away from her husband as much as possible.
You didn't force her to say anything, you didn't insist to let her talk about what was happening in her household. It wouldn't do her any good, you wanted her to know she had a choice, you wanted to give her as much time as possible to think about what to do.
“Whatever happened I believe you Amanda, okay? You don't have to be afraid and I'll be here to help you if you want.”
That was all you said to her about the topic and she nodded slightly before bursting into a liberating and heartbreaking cry. You stayed with her the whole time, hugging her and reassuring her that everything would be okay, that she wasn’t alone.
Yet she said nothing to you, nothing about her husband, deeply terrified of the consequences there might be.
She eventually fell asleep and you let her rest, telling the nurses to always keep an eye on her and to let you know immediately if anything happened.
“Dr. Y/Ln, Mr. Connell's X-Rays just arrived, Dr. Halstead left for another patient.” A nurse had told you as soon as you passed by their station. Your heart skipped a beat, realizing you didn’t meet Amanda’s husband yet.
You wanted so much to let him rot in hell but you couldn't, you had duties to fulfill as a doctor even if he was the most disgusting piece of shit on earth.
You took the envelope with the X-Rays and thanked the nurse before she went back helping other patients. You went to the bastard's room, taking a deep breath before entering.
You tried to hide your indignation as soon as you saw him lying on the bed, maintaining a professional and impassive expression.
“Who are you? Where is Dr. Halstead?” He asked as soon as you entered his room.
“I'm Dr. Y/Ln, he's busy at the moment.”
“My wife… Do you know where she is? How is she?”. If you hadn't seen the condition of Amanda's body you would’ve even thought he was really worried.
Son of a bitch.
You swallowed the anger that threatened to release words you’d regret and that you knew Amanda would pay the price for. “She's fine. She’s doing some tests,” you deadpanned before taking the X-Ray out of the folder. “There are no serious fractures, just a small one here on the collarbone…”
“I want to know where my wife is. Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?” He blurted out, not even letting you finish your sentence.
“Sir, as I said, she’s doing some tests. She was in quite critical condition and we’re doing our best to treat her,” you replied in a flat tone although your heart was pounding. The way he was looking at you made your skin crawl and your heart ached for Amanda and the fact she had to live with this piece of shit every single day.
“What tests is she doing?”.
“I’m sorry but I cannot discuss clinical details of other patients with other people.”
He looked at you angrily. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m her husband! I have the right to know how my wife is doing!”.
“Mr Connell I’m just trying to do my job. I just came here to show you your X-Rays, like…” You continued talking, holding up them again to show them to him but cut yourself off when he pulled the covers away from his body and stood up abruptly, making you take a step back in fear.
“What’s going on doctor? Why don't you want to update me on my wife's health status?” He stated through gritted teeth, taking steps towards you and looking at you menacingly. You slowly took as many steps back, your breathing quickening as fear took over you.
“Mr Connell, just go back to bed…”
“What did that filthy whore say to you?” He spat and you were about to rush to the door and run away when he violently pushed you against it, making you fall to the ground.
“What. Did. She. Say.” He grabbed your hair in a fist and pulling you back to your feet.
You squirmed to try to escape his grasp, digging your nails into his skin. “She didn't tell me anything… I don't know what you're talking about…”
He punched you in the face in response, causing you to let out a loud cry of pain as you fell to the ground again.
“Fuck,” you muttered, holding a hand to your nose and realizing you were bleeding.
In that moment you had a glimpses of what Amanda had to go through every single day of her life and you could really understand why she was so terrified of that man.
“Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about you bitch.”
You tried to get up but he grabbed your hair in a fist again and pushed you with force towards the emergency cart in the room, so violently some objects fell from it and some drawers opened.
“You piece of shit…” you spat as you tried to get up but he walked over to you and kicked you back to the ground.
It all happened quickly.
So quickly that between his attacks you didn't even have time to process what was happening. He was overpowering you and every time you tried to hit him so you could escape, he hit you back.
He pushed you on the floor, picked you up and tossed you around the room as if you were a garbage bag.
You were lying on the ground, curled up in a fetal position as you held your stomach after a painful kick to the stomach.
Your mind went to Will, wanting nothing more than your husband in that moment.
Baby please help me.
You lay down on your back in an attempt to catch some breath but a scream echoed through the room.
Your whole body froze and in an instant everything around you stopped.
What happened?
Was that scream yours?
A searing pain went through your abdomen and a warm sensation enveloped your body.
You lifted your head slightly only to realize in horror you had a pair of scissors impaled in your abdomen.
He fucking stabbed me.
You had treated hundreds of thousands of patients with stab wounds, you had always tried to reassure them, telling them you knew it hurt but everything would be fine.
But the truth was that you had no idea what your patients were feeling, the paralyzing fear, the excruciating pain, the terror of not surviving.
You don't fully know things until you go through them and in that moment, as the blood poured out of your stomach and smeared your red uniform, making it two shades darker, your body paralyzed by shock, you really understood how it felt.
Your chest rose and fell quickly as you struggled to breathe properly. Tears began to fell from your eyes when you saw the man bending over you and at that precise moment you feared your time had come.
You feared you’d never see Will again, that he wouldn’t find out until you were dead.
You needed him, you wanted your husband.
Please Will I need you.
The man pulled the scissors out of your wound which started to bleed a lot more, staining the floor red.
He looked into your eyes and the coldness he showed almost shocked you. They were glassy, empty, devoid of emotions and any trace of remorse.
“When you see my beloved wife, tell her to start planning her funeral.”
Without looking back, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving you dying and immersed in a pool of your own blood.
The wound burned stingingly as you brought your trembling hands to it to try to make pressure, but in vain.
How could so much blood come out of a not so big wound?
Sounds of throbbing pain continued to escape your lips, your breathing heavy, your heart beating wildly.
You tried to move and lift yourself up but every time you ended up lying back on the ground.
You were too weak.
What you managed to do was crawl on your elbows, leaving a trail of blood on the floor with every step you made.
You raised an arm to try to open the door. Your trembling fingers even managed to wrap around the handle but the blood on them made you slip and fall to the floor again.
Your breathing was starting to slow down, as was your heartbeat. That feeling of heat that invaded your body turned into cold, forming goosebumps all over your skin.
You were tired. So incredibly tired.
You just wanted to get some sleep and rest a bit.
So you closed your eyes, not knowing if you’d open them again.
Will looked everywhere for you but couldn't find you. He even looked for you in Amanda's room who, however, had told him she hadn't seen you for some time. He thought you were avoiding him but he couldn't think you had abandoned your patients just to avoid talking to him.
“Have you seen Y/n?” He had asked Maggie as soon as he saw her walk by.
“No, but I’ll tell her to look for you as soon as I see her.”
It felt like you had disappeared off the face of the earth, he knew you’d never have left without warning unless it was an emergency.
He tried to page you so many times, to call you on your cell phone but nothing, he received no answer. His mind tried not to immediately think something bad had happened, he couldn't even imagine it, but it was all he could think about at that moment since no one seemed to have seen you for a while.
He thought you might’ve gone to talk to Amanda's husband, knowing you would’ve tried to confront him. So he went towards Jack’s room but he stopped in his tracks before opening the door when his feet stepped on something wet.
He lowered his gaze and looking down he soon realized with horror it was blood.
He tried to open the door carefully, his heart beating wildly as he imagined all sorts of scenarios in front of him.
The door didn't open completely, as if there was some sort of resistance on the other side, so Will tried to squeeze through the small space.
But nothing could’ve prepared him for what his eyes saw, for what he never wanted to see.
His heart stopped beating for a few seconds when his eyes fell on the unconscious figure lying on the floor and immersed in a pool of her own blood. That figure he’d never, ever wanted to see in that condition, not even in his worst nightmares. YOU.
“Oh my god Y/n!” He loudly exclaimed, immediately kneeling next to you and pressing his hands on your wound from which blood was still flowing. You didn't react, your eyes were closed, your heartbeat slow.
“Baby, wake up… Please, please, please, open your eyes.”
How long were you there? Why hadn't anyone notice this?
“Somebody help me! Hurry up!”.
“Oh shit!” The nurse who rushed there screamed, putting her hands over her mouth as soon as she saw Will kneeling down, covered in your own blood.
“Where the fuck were you?!” Will exclaimed angrily, his mind completely clouded from the anger, the confusion, from the fear of coming too late.
“Oh God… I… I gave her the patient's X-Rays… There was an emergency and… And… I-I had to leave…” she stammered, shocked.
Will gave her a murderous look that would’ve killed her on the spot if he could. He knew it wasn't her fault, just the bastard who did this to you, but he couldn't help but blame someone in that moment.
He brought his eyes back to you, only then noticing the scratches and bruises that surrounded your face.
Oh baby what did they do to you?
“I'm here love, I'm here… It's okay. You’ll be fine. Just hang on for a bit.”
One of his hands let go of your wound to check your pulse, realizing it was barely noticeable. His heart tightened in a vice as he caressed her face, staining it with your own blood.
“Please wake up, please… Don't do this to me baby, you can't… You can't… I need you…” He kept repeating, his eyes starting to glaze over with tears after yelling for help again. Dr. Crockett, who was passing by at the time, intervened immediately as soon as he realized what was happening.
“What the hell happened?!” He asked urgently as he watched the horrific scene that seemed to come out from a horror movie. “We need to take her to the OR immediately, prepare four bags of 0 neg, she's lost too much blood!”
But Will didn't let you go, he continued to stay there putting pressure on your wound and keeping his gaze fixed on you.
“Will…” Crockett murmured placing a hand on his shoulder “She'll be make it okay? She’s in good hands but you have to let me do my job, you can’t be here.”
“Will!”.
Only then he seemed to realize Crockett was actually talking to him. He slightly nodded, reluctantly letting you go and watching as they carried you away.
He was in shock, struggling to believe what was happening was reality and not just a fucking nightmare.
He raised his now red and trembling hands and his eyes looked at them for a few moments, analyzing and carefully observing the blood he hardly struggled to believe was yours.
What the hell happened?
There was no doubt it was that bastard Jack Connell who did this to you and an anger he had never felt before ran through him.
He was furious.
Furious because he had allowed someone to hurt you, because he had failed to protect you, furious with himself because he didn’t believed you when you expressed your concern.
He was devastated.
Desperate.
It was all his fault.
He stayed there for he didn't know how long, looking at those hands that until recently were pressing on your wound, the same hands that until a few hours before were holding you and hugging you.
When he finally looked up around the room, he noticed what a dire, chaotic mess there was and it was clear there had been a fight before.
Only then he realized there was no trace of that bastard, that he had probably already escaped from the hospital and with the tumultuous coming and going of patients, nurses and doctors no one had even noticed him.
He took his cell phone out of his pocket, not caring he was getting blood on it, and with trembling fingers dialed Jay's number.
Jay almost had a heart attack when he heard about what happened and seeing his brother covered in blood was awful even if he knew it wasn't his. He was worried for you while trying to calm Will down. But he was still in a catalytic state so Jay stayed with him, helping him clean himself up.
Will explained to his brother it was probably Jack Connell who did it, he told him your concerns about him mentally and physically abusing his wife but that he didn't believe you.
“It's not your fault okay? I want you to understand this. It was his fault, it’s him who did this to her and I promise we’ll get him and make him pay for what he did to her, he’ll rot in prison. An attack on Y/n is an attack on all of us.” He tried to reassure Will. “She'll make it, she’s strong but she needs you now, she needs you to be by her side, I know you're scared now but you have to be strong for her, brother.”
Will was completely losing his mind while waiting for your surgery to be over, not sitting for even a minute as he paced back and forth in the waiting room, waiting at the same time some news from Jay.
When Crockett finally came out of the OR and announced the surgery had gone well and that he had managed to sew up the wound, Will couldn't help but hug him in the throes of joy and happiness.
As he walked to the ICU, he felt a weight pressing down on his shoulders, anxiety gnawing at his stomach to the point it made him feel nauseous.
His legs trembled as he approached your bed, his palms sweated, his eyes watered as he looked at you lying on that bed, unconscious.
He sat down on a chair next to you, taking one of your hands as his thumb caressed your skin. He pressed his lips on your knuckles, leaving a chaste and small kiss so light as if he was afraid of hurting you.
He sniffed when he realized a few tears had escaped his eyes, quickly wiping them away with his fingers. “I'm so sorry baby, this wasn't supposed to happen to you,” He whispered, looking at you while struggling to keep his emotions inside.
He felt terribly guilty.
It was his fault you were on that bed.
It was his fault you had to suffer.
His heart tightened as he thought about what you had to go through and he hated himself for not being able to prevent it, for not believing you.
He didn't want to think about how scared you had been, how terrified you were of dying, how many you had called for him but he didn’t come.
“I'm so sorry I didn't believe you, I'll never forgive myself,” he kept talking to you. “How can you be so beautiful even on a hospital bed? I really am a lucky bastard.”
He smiled faintly as he looked at you. “Please wake up baby, show me those beautiful eyes I fell so madly in love with… I’m begging you…”
He stood up and left a kiss on your forehead while stroking your hair at the same time before sitting back on the chair.
“I already miss you so much you know that? I'm sorry I don't tell you often how much I love you, I'm sorry I only realized now that I risked losing you how much you mean to me. Don't get me wrong I already know this, you’re one of the most important person in my life, God only knows I can't live without you... But I didn't realize how intensely and deeply you affect my life Y/n. You… Damn it…” He finished the sentence with a sigh as he tried to find the right words.
“I can't exist without you, I can't think properly, I can’t breathe, I... I’m nothing. You completed me, you always managed to fill the void I’ve always felt inside, you’ve always been that fundamental piece to complete the puzzle. Just… Please… Please don't leave me.”
There was a moment of silence, broken only by the beeps of the monitor connected to your heart. He left another kiss on the back of your hand, his eyes never leaving your sleeping face.
“I love you so much Y/n Halstead, you have no idea how much. I stop to think about our wedding day every now and then and you don't know how much money I’d pay to go back to that day and see you again in that beautiful white dress... God I would say yes to you a million more times and if we lived other lives I would say yes to you in those too because meeting you and marrying you was the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.”
“I'm so sorry…” He whispered, the words dying in his throat before he let out a silent cry, his forehead resting on the bed as he continued to silently pray.
“I heard you the first thousand times Dr Halstead…”
Will snapped his head to you, his eyes widening and almost having a heart attack when he saw you were finally awake and looking at him.
You had a small smile on your lips, trying not to chuckle as you looked at the shocked look on his face.
“Baby oh my fucking god!” He almost screamed before leaning over you and hugging you in the rush of joy and happiness. He held you tightly for an indefinite time, fearing for a moment it was a hallucination.
He let you go though when you let out a painful sigh. “Shit I'm sorry love.” He sat down again. “How are you? How are you feeling? You need something? Are you hurting? God I missed you so much.”
“The wound hurts a little but overall I'm fine...” You replied, your voice thick and hoarse. “What happened? Where is that son of a bitch? Is Amanda okay?”.
“He ran away after what… What he did to you and I called Jay, they'll catch him I promise. Amanda is okay, Jay questioned her and she told him everything, you were right about the abuse… I’m so sorry for not believing you.”
You nodded feebly, momentarily looking away from Will who kept his eyes on you with a broken look on his face, and you took a deep breath, more painful than you would’ve ever imagined.
Image after image of the attack replayed in your mind.
Of the screams no one seemed to hear.
Of the prayers to let you go.
Of his hands punching you and throwing you against the walls and objects in the room as if you were garbage.
Of his feet kicking you.
Of those scissors that had torn your skin and stabbed you.
“Oh baby.” You felt Will's thumb wipe away a tear that had slipped down your temple without you even realizing it. “C’mere.”He stood up and hugged you as best he could again, being careful this time not to hurt you. “It's okay, you're here with me now and you're safe. That piece of shit won't hurt you again I promise.”
It was as if that hug had triggered something inside you and you burst into tears, lifting your arms and encircling his chest while venting all the suppressed emotions.
“I was… I was so scared Will… T-that I wouldn't see you again…”
Will pressed his lips to your forehead, leaving a sweet and long kiss as he savored and thanked the angels for still giving the opportunity to do it.
“I know darling, I know, I can't even imagine what you went through…”
He stroked your hair, your skin marred by scratches and bruises. “It shouldn't have happened to you, I'm so sorry my love. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you...” he kissed you again. “But you're safe now okay? Now you're here with me, you're safe, and unless I’ll die I'll never let you out of my sight again.”
You giggled through your tears, hugging again the man you loved more than anything else.
“I love you so much more Will Halstead, it's not your fault okay? Please always remember that, it wasn't you who did it but that son of a bitch.”
He didn't answer but held you tighter, hiding his face in the crook of your neck while your fingers ran through his fluffy hair. Your heart broke when you realized he was crying.
“Hey, hey, it's okay. You really think I would leave you? Who would’ve made your life a living hell if I died?” You tried to ease the tension. “Oh baby I love you so much.”
“I thought I lost you… When I found you there…” His words came muffled but he stopped, not even being able to finish the sentence. He didn't want to think about those horrible moments anymore, about the fear he felt, even though he knew those images would never leave his mind.
A feeling of anguish took hold of you after hearing he was the one who found you. You couldn't imagine how horrible it was to find your wife, your partner, the person you care about most, almost dying.
“Shh it’s okay,” you whispered “Look at me.”
He slightly lifted his head and if your heart wasn't broken enough already, it was in that moment. You cupped your hands over his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. He leaned into your touch, looking at you as if you were one of the seven wonders of the world.
“I'm here, I'll get better. It’s. Not. Your. Fault. If anything you saved me baby, if you hadn't found me I would’ve probably bled to death so stop blaming yourself okay? Do it for me.“
He nodded and you smiled before pressing your lips to his in a sweet, gentle kiss.
“I’m so sorry love I don’t want to make this about me,” he said wiping again his tears and you both chuckled.
“Yeah yeah, sure, you egocentric bastard.” You rolled your eyes and burst out laughing at the same time even if you stopped immediately after, holding your stomach. “Fuck it hurts.”
“I know you’re so funny baby but take it easy.”
Despite everything, despite the pain, the anxiety and the terror of dying, the fear of never seeing that red hair again, of never hugging him, you were so grateful for still being there. You were grateful to life for giving you another opportunity, for allowing to live, to cry again, to love.
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