My name is Isabelle Gaea Willow Luna, Belle-Gaea for short, and this is a side blog for more fandom related content, specifically Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Craft and American Horror Story: Coven. Down to rp as long as it doesn't get NSFW.
I am a goth, and practise witchcraft irl, and I'll be posting about that as well, mostly so I won't have to trawl through the shit on my main blog. I also do tarot, palm and cleromancy readings, so dm me for prices and consulting.
The blog is not particularly NSFW or a p0rn blog, but I would prefer that minors not interact. Additionally I am generally anti organised religion due to past experiences, and I will not be holding back on that account, so you may choose to avoid if that isn't your cup of tea.
I am pro Palestine, pro BLM, pro choice, pro LGBTQIA+, pro trans rights, anti police and a leftist. If you don't agree with any one of those then get the fuck off of my blog and reevaluate your life.
Tag codes:
Buffy the Vampire Slayer - #buffy stuff
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Willow) - #willow stuff
The Craft - #tcm stuff
The Craft (Nancy) - #nancy stuff
American Horror Story - #ahs stuff
American Horror Story (Misty) - #misty stuff
Fleetwood Mac - #mac stuff
Stevie Nicks - #stevie stuff
Dark Academia - #da stuff
Cottagecore - #cc stuff
Witchcraft - #witch stuff
Divination Witchcraft - #divination stuff
Green Witchcraft - #plant stuff
Kitchen Witchcraft - #kitchen stuff
Crystal Witchcraft - #crystal stuff
Deity Witchcraft - #deity stuff
Ethel Cain - #mother stuff
Siouxsie and the Banshees - #siouxsie stuff
Eating Disorder TW - #tw ed
Self Harm TW - #tw sh
Sexual Assault/Abuse TW - #tw sa
Drug Addiction TW - #tw da
All posts will be tagged to the best of my ability, please notify me if I mistag something
I don't know who's saying that, not anymore; it could be me, could be him, could be the sea of grass beneath my feet or the moon safe and bright on that black satin sky. I'm gasping to breathe and my head is pounding and my heart is screaming stop, that I'm too tired and I'm too broken and I'm not ready to face the truth, but my soul stretches, endures, survives. It always does.
If the Earth gave me back to this world after ten years of eternal winter, surely it will catch me again, winds hold me aloft.
I shift into a falcon somewhere down the line and I'm soaring, my wings carrying me above the forest and over the lake; and then I'm a jaguar, a gazelle, my legs propelling me forward as they beat against the soil, feet and paws eating up seeds and small fragments of glass. Ciel is in my head, his feverish wish for validation and love boiling my blood, and I let him take over me, flood me; hi there, good Sir, how does it feel to be here again, living and burning under a full night sky?
Wonderful, Ciel-me responds, and I feel a herd of grazing horses join me, somehow running slower than me despite their gigantic hearts and streamlined bodies. One muzzled me, sending chills all through me. It's like being a child all over again.
I smile faintly. Josephine?
Back before mother lost her goddamned mind.
I pick up speed; I'm rushing headlong into those worst memories, those nights when Ciel spent entire hours staring at one crack in the wall and over a thousand red striped carnations had to be grown in one single night. His memories? Mine? He played the cello; I play the violin - what if I could play the violin in the carnation field just like he could play the cello? What if?
I'm a feline; a baby, a golden ball of light, a tiny sun of the Earth that just wants an answer. A tigress picks me up by the neck and runs along; she's the granddaughter of a baby Ciel saved many years ago, and she remembers me now, that smell that stuck to her grandmother's fur -
I've missed this, I reflect, letting my limps hang limp the same way that all babies do. I've missed being whole. Being loved. Feeling like I'm an asset, necessary.
Where were you? An owl flies over our company, intelligent eyes looking through me much in the same way that Marie did. It was lonely.
Was it? I'm sorry.
I let myself fall past the edge of the cliff, descending deep into that incandescent well of light; it shimmers, changes patterns, from an open lotus flower to the curves of elephant horns. Someone's waiting there for me; Ciel? Myself?
What do you want, little one?
Willows? Carnations?
We burst into the garden just as the first light appears over the horizon; the land is but a remnant of its prior glory, a vaguely rectangular plot empty except for a few isolated growths of weeds. I shift back and roll off the mother, stepping over the soil; a wave of unspeakable familiarity rolls over me, dark as a destructive storm but so, so hopeful for rain, and for a while I can't find any words.
That little place, I say to Ciel-me, that little black lodge at the center of the field with all those faultlines - I can blame you for that, right?
It's you as well as me, Ciel-me replies disgruntledly. Listen. Listen for the flowers.
I can see the eye of the Sun peek over the end of the line; the clouds are starting to get rosy orange, and the birds are gathering, feathers yellow and orange falling all over the fields, some into my hands. I shriek my call to them as an avian and they gather, excitement in the skies poisonous over the entire field; I cry to them again, enjoying drowning in their passion, and they sing - sing as they've never before, a complete organized melody. Come to us, they urge. Come and be a child of the air.
I pull out the violin and hush them. I have a symphony of my own, I claim. A better one.
For all that I am acquainted with magic - made of it, dripping with it, lived and died with it - I still couldn't help but be utterly and completely amazed and bewildered as I spread my feet apart and start plucking the strings, only to feel the earth shiver under me, an entire land straining to hear me and my melody. I put trembling fingers on the bow and it's almost like the ground is shaking, the waves from my violin sending shockwaves through the ground to seek what had been buried decades before; and then I feel the bulbs, those old, bleeding bulbs that have seen Ciel from his youth to his death and been weathered with both his tears and his blood, and I almost break down crying.
They don't respond the same way animals do, with ideas for thoughts that I can decipher into words; but they cling onto me, sink themselves around me, flicker back into life as soon as they touch me - don't go, they seem to say, wounding around me the same way Aria held me, both as Ciel and as Willow. Don't leave. You're too beautiful to disappear.
All around me, the shoots are breaking ground, petals from the color of the night to a gold richer and brighter than my own magic; there are red-striped ones, startling blues and violets, and even pure white ones sparkling like snow. Are you sure about me? Am I the same person that I always was?
The roots are longer than biologically possible, tangled beneath my feet, competing to touch my skin. There's a warmth to them like Aria's kisses, like rain after a drought of twenty years. I fall onto the ground, letting them envelop me, cling to me. The entire field is riveting around me, the core of a small galaxy of carnations. Stay.
I will stay, I promise. My name is Willow. I'm a Willow born under a willow tree and raised with willow bark and willow tea - the carnations were his, but they are mine, for he is mine, and I am his. I open my mouth, but nothing comes out; the tigress is muzzling me again, rubbing her face against my cheek. I love you. I won't ever leave again.
Footsteps behind me. I flinched, trying to pull myself up but failing.
'Marie?'
It was Aria, dressed in a beautiful outfit of violet and white with a flower crown in her dark hair, her eyes wide with surprise as she took me in, me in the pitiful state with all my tears and carnations. What was far worse, though, was her companion: Willow stood next to her, all in summer willow green, his figure fair and too painfully familiar in the flawless day. They were holding hands. He frowned as he realized who I was.
'I'm, uh,' I managed. 'I'm sorry. I'll leave.'
'No, don't,' Willow said, and it was nearly impossible to not turn on the spot and simply flee. His eyes met mine critically - I bit my lips until they bled - but they weren't angry or resentful. Resigned, maybe. 'We should talk.'
'I - '
Aria planted a quick kiss on Willow's cheek. He squeezed her hand. 'I'll go leave flowers for the others.'
'Thanks,' Willow said, turning to watch her leave. I was still trembling slightly. 'Marie, it's okay. I'm not mad at you.'
'Willow - '
He sighed, offering a hand. 'Kiah. Call me Kiah. I'm pretty sure you're having troubles with more than just Willow. If I'm going to call you Marie, it's only fair.'
*
We sat in front of the tombstone, several feet away from each other. I stared at the ground. He had a small smile on his lips.
'I'm sorry about what happened at the Academy.'
'I know.'
'It was inexcusable of me.'
'Not really.'
'I was playing with your feelings.'
'That's nothing new.'
'Kiah -'
He laughed. 'I'm sorry. That was terrible of me. It's just the way you put it - we just always end up having this kind of dance. You really like me. I really like you. We both have those... wistful feelings for each other. It's not love, and I know that, although it took Ciel longer than Willow to figure that out. You couldn't help being attracted to me any more than I couldn't help being attracted to you. I wasn't really mad at you, back in the office. I was more mad about the fact that I thought I was going insane and nobody ever bothered to tell me why.'
'I could have handled it a lot better.'
He shook his head. 'I'm not sure. It was just a shitty situation all around. Rebirth had to have its emotional costs, or I'd just never respect dying. I think I've made peace with myself, though - I know who I was and who I am. And I know I still want to be friends with you.'
'I exiled you - left you bleeding and suffocating under all that sand -'
'I probably would have done it to myself if I was capable of doing so.'
'Kiah.'
'You never meant malice to me, Marie, and that's what matters. I knew you felt guilty all those years. Aria told me how much you cried when I died, and how much you fussed over me before you all decided to hand me to Josephine. You care about me, Marie. And that's all I need to know.'
Tears were brimming in my eyes again. 'Be mad at me. Please.'
He chuckled, holding out his arms. 'Marie, please. You were one of my best friends.'
I fell into his arms, crying noisily. 'I love you, Kiah.'
'I love you too, Marie.'
'The scars,' I whispered with feeling. 'The scars I gave you. I'm glad they won't hurt you anymore, but I almost wish I can still see them, have a reminder for just what I had done -'
'You're sitting in front of Ciel's grave, Marie.'
'I'll protect you. I won't hurt you again. I won't let anyone hurt you. Not even yourself.'
'Don't force me to add 'Maya-Serenity' to my growing list of names, too.'
'Come for dinner,' I croaked. 'Tomorrow evening. My place. I'll cook. It will just be like the old days.'
'Are you guys done?' Aria called from a few rows away, her voice amused.
'Give me a few more weeks,' he said, standing up. 'I still need to figure out how I'm going to deal with Julie.'
(stupid kids anon again) oh yeah sorry no I didn't mean it like that I meant that they have this sort of horrible childish side, like how Willow finds it within herself to justify anything she wants however not okay that it may be, idk you get the feeling someone just needs to sit her down and say "Look NO! Take some damn responsibility!" and I'm sure they could have had a big arc about it but the show just didnt go there which is a shame!
(same anon) Oooh yeah okay that makes sense. It's been a while since I've seen omwf, but I do remember that now. And yeah you're right the show never thoroughly addresses that issue. The closest Willow gets to actually dealing with any major repercussions of that is Tara breaks up with her but they just get back together anyway, which I always found kind of weak because the only kind of security that Tara had was Willow's word that she wouldn't do that anymore.
i agree a lot of this is joss's fault tbh okay if anyone wants to discuss this more PLEASE message me off anon because i feel like i'm offending so many people and i hate negativity on my blog!!
Totally agree with you about most of the Scoobies, like Willow is one of my favourite characters but it is so so so important to look at stuff like this and say "nope, they did a terrible thing, and I'm sure it's because theyre stupid kids and havent thought of the ramifications of what theyve done at all, and Im sure if another character was to lay it out for them properly theyd realise and get all upset and repentant, but the fact is there is this side of them, and responsibility is necessary"
i know what you mean, but willow has done so many questionable things that she hasn’t apologized or taken responsibility for and i don’t think i can account that all to her being a stupid kid?
allimccall replied to your post: anonymous asked:why don't you lik...
her attitude towards buffy after bringing her back from the death is so frustrating like…she doesn’t even care about her feelings, she just wants buffy to show her gratitude or something. meanwhile buffy was depressed and basically suicidal
When did Willow rape Tara? Was it when she tampered with Tara's memory so she wouldn't remember their fight? That's the only time I can really think of right now, but the show did acknowledge that, and I know they used magic as a metaphor for sex in season 4 but I don't think that applied this time. I'm not trying to justify what Willow did AT ALL because that was so completely wrong, esp after what Glory did to Tara, but maybe I'm just missing something.
in omwf she and tara have sex (it's implied) and yes since her memory was tampered with by willow, tara did something that she definitely wouldn't have agreed to because of the state of w&t's relationship at the time and the show actually never dealt with that specific thing? like the furthest they got to even acknowledging it was when tara said "you violated me" (or something similar) but willow never like took responsibility for her actions yk?
