“what is holding you back” personal tarot reading
“What is holding you back” nine of wands
exhausted from the challenges and struggles you’ve been facing over the last while. just as you seem to be making progress, something else seems to fall down and set you back; but the nine of wands is here to remind you that you're resilient and strong. even when you want to give up, this card serves as a reminder that you have the power to keep pushing. you have what it takes in you to get to where you want to go, you just have to find it. to me this card took a bit more of interpretation but for what's holding me back, it has been these set backs that’re occurring with my mental health. I relapse, have hard nights, and want to give up but for some reason I stay fighting and just like my reading the other night where I was getting to know my deck and the strength card came up, reminding me that I have more resilience and strength than I allow myself to give myself credit for- really shows up here too.
“Where your energy is focused” the fool
the fool is a free spirited being, not one to follow rules or plan things out but to go with the flow and only take what they need. they see nothing but opportunity and potential and see no need to waste time in hoping for it and to just go for it. its time to take a leap of faith to what you don't know and to have fun, play, relax and be yourself. embrace who you are and what you want to be, then run for it and dont look back. when looking at this card, I decided to take what it told me but look at it in a more negative view to feel that I got a real answer for my question. my energy is focused on being free spirited which is all great but it means that I'm also not focused on getting things done that I need to. I lack in planning but I see opportunities and places I want to go, but want to just jump for them without knowing what will happen. opportunities for my photography (so many project ideas), for my mental health and financial situation... I'm more focused on the being free side of things and I need to focus more on the immediate situations.
“Where your energy needs to be focused” ten of swords
something is coming to an end and it may be painful; it could be an emotional ending, the loss of a job or contact with a close friend. this card says that you may feel victim to someone else’s doings- and the pain inflicted is deep. the ten of swords is also here to help you accept the circumstances and figure out ways to deal with them. the good thing about the presence of this card is that it marks the end of the pain from said source and will help lead you to potential ways of coping. so. I recently quit my job and that was the first thing to come to mind when this card came up, adjacent to this question. when I say recently I mean a month ago and I had to quit because of my mental health. it was suffering a lot at my work place and it wasn’t of fault to the job but just how my mind works. because of this, I would call in frequently because I couldn't handle going in and eventually (even though they knew of my mental health issues) they started to get annoyed with this habit which is understandable but made things harder to deal with. in my case- my quilting didn't go over so well and I had to quit VIA a phone call after over 12 hours of them not hearing from me, while I was still at the hospital. my one manager that day was really upset when I called in and then next day going in to give a written notice, that manager was even more upset with me. its taken me some time to get over how upset they were with me, and I only hope they wouldn't be so upset if they knew how serious my visit was, but I can only hope. I see with this card that its telling me to be more focused on the aftermath of what's left to deal with; instead of being a kindred free spirit- I should attend more to my financial and emotional wellbeing.
“What will move you forwards” the temperance: reversed
reflection, time to heal yourself and restore balance to your life. the appearance of this card can serve as a warning to re-evaluate in your possible over indulgence in things or that something is ”off” and needs your attention. see this card as and invitation to look into yourself and re balance what is needed. aLrighty. not to continuously repeat myself but the things that are off in my life would be my financial and mental well being. recently I have been buying things I cant afford to try and fill up the loneliness, and I know it doesn't work but I'll do it anyway even though im on welfare. I have plans in place to attend to my health needs and its just about waiting for the appointments to happen.
