#wizardblog

[weezebyrger-the-wizard]

Who would win

DumbleWHORE 💀🤢⚡️

GanDILF the GAY 💪💅🐉

Voting ended onMar 12, 2024

[8ball-wizard]

evil nautilus is once again psychically attacking me by making me go into a frustrated misery spiral

[newevilwizard]

[pazzariablog]

🧙‍♂️ TAP TAP TAP… 

Is this loud glowing box thing working?

A-HA! I see the little blinky light blinking. That means it’s working, yes? No? Too late—I’ve already started.

Welcome to Zosimos Says So!

A blog. A brain spill. A magical cry for help. An overly long scroll of things I find important even if no one else does.

I am—brace yourself—

Zosimos the Eccentrically Enchanted, Unofficial Alchemist of the Wizard Coven, Twice-Banned Mushroom Merchant, and Grand Commander of the Disappearing Sock Society.

You’re welcome.

🐸 Who the frog am I?

Some folks call me a menace.

Others call me completely unqualified.

Still others just shriek “NOT AGAIN!” and dive into hedges.

That’s fine. I’m here anyway.

And now I have:

A keyboard.

A wand.

And a frog.

OH, FROGGY FROGS!

They are both vile and cutesy-cute at the same time!

They make delicious morsels—for breakfast, lunch, second breakfast, tea time, and funerals.

They are also slippery little demon meatballs, and when I try to catch one as it hops away, well…

DAMNED.

STUPID.

FROGS.

Don’t ask.

🧠 What is this blog? What will I do with it? Will there be snacks?

Great questions! Shut up and I’ll answer:

Behind-the-scenes mayhem from Pazzaria Productions

Spark the Flying Frog sightings (and recipes, maybe)

Insight into our books: The Spellbook, The Legend of the Lost Rose, Elyndor and whatever else the elves haven’t stolen yet

Magical merchandise highlights! (Some of it even legal!)

Secret future project leaks that I probably wasn’t supposed to post but OOPS

Enchanted food, wizard fashion, why my left shoe talks at night, and…

Wild theories about whether Spark is a savior… or a snack

✨ Why should you read this?

Because:

I once turned a tax form into a goose (accidentally).

I’ve got insider knowledge on Pazzaria’s magical universe (or at least strong opinions).

I might drop mystery spell codes or forbidden coupons.

You love chaos. And frogs. And the chaos of frogs.

🧪 Blog Subtitle Suggestions I Rejected:

“Definitely Not Cursed”

“Chronicles of a Wand-Wielding Moron”

“Oops! All Magic!”

“I Shouldn’t Have Eaten That Glowstick”

📜 Closing Nonsense

So stay tuned, my twitchy little toadspoons!

I’ll be posting spells, secrets, and strangely accurate predictions (like: “Tomorrow, someone will sneeze.” Told you.)

This blog is now cursed blessed with my presence.

Until next time—

I remain (somehow),

Zosimos the Eccentrically Enchanted

The wand is fine. I’m the problem. 🧙‍♂️🐸💥

🧷 Now for the Required Keyword Incantation: There. I said the secret SEO words. Now Google, bless this mess.

[the-mystic-council]

Sorry mortals, it’s been a millennium. Was busy destroying worlds.

Ever the Evil,

Gorigug, Destroyer of the Land

[weezebyrger-the-wizard]

When you accidentally add the dew that was gathered on a full moon instead of a new moon to the potion, and suddenly you start seeing flying frogs 😔

[weezebyrger-the-wizard]

The OC (Wolfye)

The artist (me)

[newevilwizard]

finding new employees is hard...