Bighatlarry

Evil wizard here to fuck shit up

[newevilwizard]

trading card games are difficult so heres a tip to win for sure everytime fireball your opponent before they beat you

[sceptixfakemon]

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

[sceptixfakemon]

im never leaving this hellsite

[newevilwizard]

note to self make disease that makes sword flaccid

[owa-tagoo-siam]

[kunosoura]

I know it feels good as fuck to cast spells from up there

[newevilwizard]

Trying out a new spell book I found on a flying cloud and this spell called "Noodles kit and kaboodle" gave some guy a whole houses worth of stuff just summoned up then I burned it all down to show how fragile his situation was ahh learning! 🌈

[ceruleanheaven]

and for tonights bed time story can someone tell me what its like to get what you want

[newevilwizard]

its super great and easy with magic and no morals :D hope this helps <3

[newevilwizard]

bababooey!!!!! rooting tooty! BAM!!!!!!!!!!! your legs are now fresh jelly congrats dear reader!

[sunderwight]

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

[rahatlin]

@evilwizard are you in that?

[evilwizard]

i should sell this

[newevilwizard]

do do do do do do *ZAP* do do do do do ZAP ZAP ZAP* do dodododododododododo do do do *ZAP* dododododododo do do do zap zap* ah i love going for walks in the forest of dread dreams so much stuff to destroy!

[homunculus-argument]

"If you accept any food from the fae, they shall never let you go" is a human belief. The fair folk stand by the principle that if you feed 'em, you gotta keep 'em. If wildlife learns to rely on you for food, you have already fucked up, and you can't just stop feeding them cold turkey. That human is your responsibility now. Because you left your peach cobbler unsupervised.

[teaboot]

If you start feeding the humans in your yard then you need to make sure you keep feeding them or else they’ll choose not to migrate and starve in the winter. I recommend rolling something in peanut butter and seeds and hanging it out on the porch

[newevilwizard]

rolling my enemies in peanut butter and seeds stringing them up for my minions to eat

[homunculus-argument]

"If you accept any food from the fae, they shall never let you go" is a human belief. The fair folk stand by the principle that if you feed 'em, you gotta keep 'em. If wildlife learns to rely on you for food, you have already fucked up, and you can't just stop feeding them cold turkey. That human is your responsibility now. Because you left your peach cobbler unsupervised.

[teaboot]

If you start feeding the humans in your yard then you need to make sure you keep feeding them or else they’ll choose not to migrate and starve in the winter. I recommend rolling something in peanut butter and seeds and hanging it out on the porch

[newevilwizard]

gooble gobble gooble gobble whack thacka CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and BOOM the turkey is frozen! enjoy your meal now! hahahahaha!

[newevilwizard]

so put out the fire and only torched a small portion of the cook room oh and all of tam tams fruit snack went up in flames as well im sure this will have no ill effects !!!

oh tam tam what are you doing here wit hthe 12 foot club of wizard smiting while drooling at 11 o clock in the morning lil buddy? tamtam: GGGGGRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[evilwizard]

apparently some idiot on the Wizard council lost his tharxian warding crystal in the suction dimension and broke the great circle keeping the demon lord Pentalagon in his spectral sarcophagus. so like. that was my evil plan. i spent 3,000 years working on this and they just started the Thaumaclysm on accident. what am i supposed to do with all this mayonnaise now

[newevilwizard]

boop boop wizard stuff putting random ingredients into the cauldron and mixing it uuuuuuup- OH GOD THE FIRE AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[newevilwizard]

god i need to cast super sleepy time not get up for three days in a row

[liebelesbe]

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.

[beardedmrbean]

[giliisnotcreative]

@i-like-reblog-maps I heard you like large maps ^⁠_⁠^

[i-like-reblog-maps]

what the fuck

that thing is eldritch

acquired a dark mode version just to see what it’d look like. oh my god. this map is gorgeous

i have never seen a hub that large. i’m?? stunned

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Didn't realise it was a reblog map at first,thought somebody was drawing the visual effect that accompanies casting Testicular Torsion.