Bighatlarry

Evil wizard here to fuck shit up

[newevilwizard]

trading card games are difficult so heres a tip to win for sure everytime fireball your opponent before they beat you

[newevilwizard]

do do do do do do *ZAP* do do do do do ZAP ZAP ZAP* do dodododododododododo do do do *ZAP* dododododododo do do do zap zap* ah i love going for walks in the forest of dread dreams so much stuff to destroy!

[homunculus-argument]

"If you accept any food from the fae, they shall never let you go" is a human belief. The fair folk stand by the principle that if you feed 'em, you gotta keep 'em. If wildlife learns to rely on you for food, you have already fucked up, and you can't just stop feeding them cold turkey. That human is your responsibility now. Because you left your peach cobbler unsupervised.

[teaboot]

If you start feeding the humans in your yard then you need to make sure you keep feeding them or else they’ll choose not to migrate and starve in the winter. I recommend rolling something in peanut butter and seeds and hanging it out on the porch

[newevilwizard]

rolling my enemies in peanut butter and seeds stringing them up for my minions to eat

[homunculus-argument]

"If you accept any food from the fae, they shall never let you go" is a human belief. The fair folk stand by the principle that if you feed 'em, you gotta keep 'em. If wildlife learns to rely on you for food, you have already fucked up, and you can't just stop feeding them cold turkey. That human is your responsibility now. Because you left your peach cobbler unsupervised.

[teaboot]

If you start feeding the humans in your yard then you need to make sure you keep feeding them or else they’ll choose not to migrate and starve in the winter. I recommend rolling something in peanut butter and seeds and hanging it out on the porch

[newevilwizard]

gooble gobble gooble gobble whack thacka CRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and BOOM the turkey is frozen! enjoy your meal now! hahahahaha!

[newevilwizard]

so put out the fire and only torched a small portion of the cook room oh and all of tam tams fruit snack went up in flames as well im sure this will have no ill effects !!!

oh tam tam what are you doing here wit hthe 12 foot club of wizard smiting while drooling at 11 o clock in the morning lil buddy? tamtam: GGGGGRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[evilwizard]

apparently some idiot on the Wizard council lost his tharxian warding crystal in the suction dimension and broke the great circle keeping the demon lord Pentalagon in his spectral sarcophagus. so like. that was my evil plan. i spent 3,000 years working on this and they just started the Thaumaclysm on accident. what am i supposed to do with all this mayonnaise now

[newevilwizard]

boop boop wizard stuff putting random ingredients into the cauldron and mixing it uuuuuuup- OH GOD THE FIRE AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[newevilwizard]

god i need to cast super sleepy time not get up for three days in a row

[liebelesbe]

Yeah man, this wizard sleepover is cozy. I just saw a guy gently clap his hands together and say "hot beverage conjuration" or something, and suddenly everyone was holding a perfect mug of their favorite warm drink in their hands. Nobody who was already sleeping even woke up, that's how cozy it is. I'm over here casting pillow and level 2 pyjamas. I think I just heard "power word: blanket fort" two groups over. I gotta get in there.

[beardedmrbean]

[giliisnotcreative]

@i-like-reblog-maps I heard you like large maps ^⁠_⁠^

[i-like-reblog-maps]

what the fuck

that thing is eldritch

acquired a dark mode version just to see what it’d look like. oh my god. this map is gorgeous

i have never seen a hub that large. i’m?? stunned

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Didn't realise it was a reblog map at first,thought somebody was drawing the visual effect that accompanies casting Testicular Torsion.

[newevilwizard]

[newevilwizard]

i need a health potion to get through the day

[newevilwizard]

[scrollswizardsteve]

How DARE you, you taint the sacred practice that is wizardry! I curse you and your bloodline for ALL ETERNITY for the deeds and ATROCITIES you have committed. You poison the reputation of us good wizards!

[newevilwizard]

[newevilwizard]

when will the wizard hate stop?

this is the TRUTH I'm not sorry if it's hard to hear

[newevilwizard]

[newevilwizard]