Here is a problem with the idea of "you get to play when you've done your homework".
While on a surface level, this seems like a good way of teaching children healthy work ethics and a sense of responsibility/the idea of a work-reward correlation, it can seriously backfire and cause lasting damage one has to undo through hard work during adulthood.
As a "closeted" neurodivergent kid, I was raised with abled standards and expectations, which I gradually fell short of, but while I was obviously less and less able to keep up with the workload that was expected of me, noone ever cared to adjust the expectations, which lead to me overworking and breaking myself over and over again. Then, when I was obviously stressed to a point of full dysfunction, those same people would tell me that I needed to relax, which was honestly just confusing, because a, that's two conflicting rules that are mutually exclusive, and b, how the hell was I supposed to know what even relaxing meant when I never really got to explore that option, because I was too busy being perpetually behind on my "homework".
So basically, while the idea of "you get to play when you're done with your homework" is great in theory, but in action it played out something like this:
- a sense of satisfaction or being rewarded for my work
- motivation to do whatever my "homework" was
- sloppy homework (most of it done at school between or during classes)
- not being able to enjoy playtime because after a full day of schoolwork, extracurriculars and studying I rarely had the energy to actually enjoy anything
- not having had a moment of guilt-free pleasure for the past 25 years
- feeling like I don't deserve fun
- lots and lots of internalised ableism
- never having learnt what relaxing means
- never having learnt what I might find enjoyable as free time activities
- fun, joy and relaxation being the lowest on the priority list, and eternally associated with a sense of guilt, shame and cheating
- feeling like I had to earn even the most basic human needs being met, and if I couldn't do the work, I wouldn't have the right to rest, relax or do anything restorative
- the idea that my worth as a human being was solely defined by my level of productivity
- the feeling that getting what I want/need is forever unobtainable.
So yeah, that's what I'm trying to unlearn now. I don't have a better suggestion as to what to teach children, honestly, I still think that it's not a bad idea to teach children tangible responsibility through connecting work and reward, but I would also kindly suggest to adjust the message and maybe spend more time on unpacking the meaning behind it, just in case the kid turns out to be the kinda weirdo who would get seriously fucked up by getting the wrong end of that story.