Characters: Jason Todd, Danny Fenton, Princess Dora
Relationships: Jason Todd/Danny Fenton
Other Tags: Blind Date, dislike at first sight, ectoimplosion 2023, Hostage Situations, Car Accidents, Guns, Aged-Up Character(s), College Student Danny Fenton, Tired Danny Fenton, They'll get together at the end don't worry, Humor
Summary: Danny Fenton and Jason Todd are both having awful days. Neither of them want to be going on this blind date their friend set up. Best case, scenario, it's going to be a waste of time, right?
Alright buckle up because I always win the game for worst first date story (or at least worst/weirdest non-violent first date). I swear to God, every word of this is real.
I grew up in a small town where there was nothing to do so no one really went out on dates, so by the time I got to college I’d never been on a date, the following was my first date ever:
My roommate and I joined a dating site out of both a desire to date someone and mild boredom. After a few weeks of talking to some guys, one asked me out on a date. I wasn’t super interested but I wasn’t good at saying no either so I said yes. We met up downtown and had dinner. He was wearing a trench coat and talked 95% of the time, mostly about how much he loved everything about Russia and wanted to move there, but at no point let me jump in with stories of my own travels or places I wanted to live or see.
Needless to say, not a love connection. I was trying to think of a way to cut this short early so I lied and said that I needed to pick up my friend after this but my phone was dying so I needed to go before it died so I could call him when I was there to pick him up. I shit you not, the man opens up his trench coat and says “What kind of phone do you have?” This dude had like 5 phone charges in his trench coat pockets. (Fortunately for me I have an Android and all of his hoarded chargers were for iphones.)
When we finally left I started to say goodbye outside the restaurant but he kept walking and talking. Again, at this point I was too polite and didn’t know how to say no so I just kind of kept going along. We get to my parking garage and I try to say goodbye, he keeps going. He gets in the elevator with me. I don’t know what to do so I try to say goodbye again and just get in my car real fast, but before I could do so, he got into my car and said “You’re cool giving me a ride, right?”
Now, I’m already certain I’m going to be murdered at this point. Too much weird crap happening right in a row and I’m too polite to avoid being murdered. Like a moron, I don’t argue and just give him a ride. He clearly has no awareness of how weirded out I am because he keeps just talking away throughout the whole ride to his place.
Here’s where the absurdity jumps up a notch. I know that he didn’t realize I was freaked out and that he was (probably) joking, but as we got closer to his house, he asks “How tall are you? I’m just wondering if I could fit you in my ferret cage”.
Well my friends, by the time we pulled up to his apartment and he asked “Do you want to come in?” I had finally learned how the fuck to say no. Hard to say for sure but if I hadn’t, I might still have been in that ferret cage to this day.
fic request 😳 Froger, worst first date, Freddie Omorashi
"Kissing! I said kissing, not... oh for fuck's sake!"
~~~
*one hour earlier*
"Really? On a first date?"
Roger shrugs and puts the napkin he's been dabbing his mouth with aside. "Sure."
Freddie still stares at him as if he's proposed to bend him over the table right here in this fancy French restaurant. "Well. You certainly know what you want," he mutters and takes a sip of his wine. He still looks vaguely scandalised, but the look he throws Roger over the rim of his glass tells him that perhaps he likes to be a bit scandalized.
"What, you like to wait until there's a ring on your finger," Roger teases. It's an absurd thought. Freddie has such beautiful, kissable lips. But perhaps he likes to make a guy wait?
"Er, no but..." Freddie cocks his head. "Just so I know, er. Do you prefer to do the honours or..." He makes a gesture with his hands to indicate the other way round.
Now, Roger knows some guys like to settle these things in advance, but he's never had anyone ask him whether he's a bottom or top with regard to kissing. But everything can be a kink, right? And this one is downright charming. "Oh, I'm not particular. Both can be nice." He lets his gaze linger on Freddie's lips and allows his voice to go husky. "But in this case I'd very much like to be the one to do the honours."
It seems to have been the right answer.
Freddie squirms in his seat and licks his lips, making them look all shiny. Good god, it seems like Roger's developing a kink of his own here. "You're quite forward."
This is turning into some serious Edwardian period drama role play. And this from the man who had casually asked him "So what are you into" only two minutes earlier.
Roger puts his elbows on the table and rests his chin on it, leaning as close to Freddie as he can. "Can't wait to show you how forward."
The flustered maiden act vanishes as quickly as it had appeared. Without taking his smouldering dark eyes off Roger, Freddie raises his hand and snaps his fingers. "Check please."
~~~
*ten minutes earlier*
"Shower's in here."
Instead of leading him into the living or - as Roger would have preferred - the bedroom, Freddie is gesturing towards a rosé-and-gold-tiled bathroom.
"Oh. Right. I actually had a shower before I left."
"Yes, but..." Freddie looks vaguely embarrassed again. "I prefer it in there."
Roger blinks at him for a few moments, trying to understand. Does Freddie have a bathroom kink on top of a kissing kink? "What, you mean..." He gestures between the two of them.
Freddie nods. "Sorry, it's just that I'm not that well-prepared for..." He trails off. For all his earlier self-assuredness, he seems a bit lost for words at the moment.
"Oh please." Roger reaches for Freddie's hands, taking them in his own. Jesus, it's not like he expects a guy to come prepped and ready to go to a first date. He steps a bit closer, close enough that he can smell Freddie's subtle cologne. It had driven him to distraction all through the car ride. "Actually," he murmurs and reaches up to put one hand on Freddie's cheek, unable to resist the temptation to stroke his thumb over Freddie's plush upper lip, "I'd like to do it right now, right here."
Freddie's eyes are dark and enormous and entirely transfixed on him. "Right now?" he whispers, his usually sonorous voice gone breathless and high.
Roger shifts a bit closer. "Right now."
Freddie swallows hard, then nods. And then, he says something that has Roger rethink everything they had said over the last hour.
"Well, I bet you must be bursting after all that wine."
~~~
*one minute later*
"I'm not going to piss on someone when I haven't even had their dick in my mouth a good few times, for fuck's sake! Christ, I can't believe you'd... Hey! Hey, hey, are you alright? Come on, I'm not..." Roger crouches down to the floor, trying to get Freddie, who has sunk to his knees, head buried in his hands to look at him. He doesn't mean to be yelling at the poor bloke, but for Heaven's sake! "Freddie? Freddie, I'm sorry, I-"
Suddenly, the hands fly away from Freddie's face and he's throwing his head back, laughing so hard Roger can barely make out any of the words he's trying to say. "Ki-kiss... I... I thought..." he wheezes before giving up and dissolving into giggles again.
It makes Roger realise the absurdity of the sitation. Far from acting like a Victorian maiden, Freddie had actually thought him a bloody pervert, and within all of ten seconds decided to take him home and do some watersports. Not that Roger isn't a pervert, he bloody-well is, but he's got more sense than to blurt out his more extravagent kinks in the middle of a restaurant. On a first date. Which is just... Laughter bubbles up in him, and before long, they're both heaving, giggling messes on the hallway floor.
~~~
*five minutes later*
"You said something about kissing?"
"Hmm, I seem to remember I did."
When Roger doesn't act immediately, Freddie takes his hand and puts it back on his cheek, so they're in the same position as they were before, only sitting on the floor instead of standing up.
Roger runs his thumb over Freddie's lips again, just because it's delicious and he can. "Don't say anything about wine, please," he breathes as he thoroughly enjoys the moment of anticipation.
"I've got quite enough of you being a fucking tease" is the last thing he hears before Freddie's lips crash with his and everything else is drowned out.
_______________________________
...and cut 😄 Thank you so much, anon, for the prompt (and apologies for chickening out of writing actual omorashi!)
