i love this entire bit here from the book, like:
He laughed so hard that he almost couldn’t breathe, 'You admired me? You said you admired me, but why haven’t I ever seen you when you admired me? And as soon as I’m loathed by everyone, you jump out and wave your little flag?'
Tears of laughter seeped from the corners of Wei WuXian’s eyes, 'Your admiration was a bit too cheap, wasn’t it? You said that you’ll forever stand on the opposite side of me. Very well. Does the fact that you’re standing on the opposite side of me affect me at all? Both your admiration and your hatred are so, so insignificant. How could you be so shameless as to flaunt them in front of others?”
wei wuxian has up to this part made mistakes. but he has such a strong point here. where were these supposed admirers? these friends and allies? when he needed them most? yes he made it difficult, but the way people came to him with concern and accusations was just fueling his decline. everything was accusatory; he was the son of a servant-- who was generously taken in by a known and respected family. in a world where face and reputation means everything-- wei wuxian's turn to demonic cultivation was an easy out for people to knock him down.
Wei WuXian smiled again, “Do you know why I’m not carrying my sword? It wouldn’t make a difference if I told you anyways.”
again. another valid point. it wouldn't of made a difference if he said anything or not. it would have changed nothing. a lot of people thought he chose the demonic path out of spite, or greed. but he chose it purely out of necessity. he would of died in the burial mounds if he hadn't used resentment. and he couldn't just abandon it because then he'd have nothing left. he'd be an empty shell, malnourished and weak, likely bound to die regardless.
granted, the way he spoke and behaved didn't help his case. but i think wei wuxian's mentality of give and take really got in the way of reason. he grew up owing his adoptive family. being reminded of the debt he's in. not just by madam yu-- but the general populace. so he pushed people away, kept a distance to avoid debt, to avoid dragging anyone else down with him.
