"I'm okay or I'm not okay, does it really matter? The world passes by, so do I. Somedays I am like a dried leaf in the season of autumn, where the wind takes me, there am I. And that doesn't mean that the direction of the wind is okay with me."
A bit of writerlore, because I caught myself using this term on socials yesterday only to realize the person probably had no idea wtf I was talking about:
When I was working on It's Time to Try Living Again, I sent chapter drafts to my emotional-support-bisexuals, as one does.
Before long, @iizven came and told me that she really fucking hated Astarion's self-loathing, intrusive thoughts, and she wanted to give it a name so she could scream at it. So I told her she could name it, and she named it bob.
"Fuck Bob" has since become a common refrain in our group, and we use it to refer to our own shitty, unkind thoughts, too.
So, if you see me referring to "feeling bobish" or saying that "bob" was bothering Astarion, that's what I mean! 😂
Rules: Share the fic you posted as close to exactly one year ago as possible. You can just post a link if you like, but feel free to talk about it too! How did you feel about this fic then, how do you feel now? Do you love it, hate it, has your writing changed at all? Anything you’d do differently in hindsight? Go nuts!
Thank you so much to @queenie-ofthe-void for the tag, this is a great idea!
Early August last year I posted Home (tumblr) (AO3). It was my one and only post for Steddie Angsty August. I got the idea waiting to get in to see Deadpool, which is why one of the kids is named Ryan. 😆
Eddie is a widower after Steve’s passing and his adult kids help him pack up the house as he finally moves to a smaller home. That’s it. But it’s one of the stories I am proudest of. It’s sad but I think it ends on an upward note.
I nearly always complete a prompt for an event on the day of posting. It’s a bad habit because I ALWAYS see something wrong, or something that doesn’t make sense; words that just aren’t the right words. So I do tend to make minor edits when I stick prompt fills up on AO3. It drives me nuts reading fics back that I know in my heart are good but if more time were spent on them they could be even better.
But then I see a lovely comment from a reader and it makes me feel better. If you ever read, kudos’d, commented or reblogged one of my fics I cannot truly explain to you how grateful I am, and how often I read those comments back when I’m thinking of giving up. Comments are oxygen to writers, I promise you. You are wonderful and I’m so grateful to you for the support. ❤️
Ok now I need deep fic lore from more of you, so please enjoy this no pressure tagging. I always forget people, but please if you see this and you weren’t tagged and you want to, please do this and tag me, reading about other authors is so much fun for me. ❤️
Thank you for the tags @bygonesigh and @biowaredisasterbisexual !
Unsure of who has played, yet? I'll just tag some people, and you can play if you're so inclined! Also, if I don't tag you and you want to play, anyway, please do it!!
142,358 ! That actually surprises me lol, I thought I had less published than that.
3) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Haunted (very happy this one is still on top!), Still, dinner & diatribes, gathering the remains, possession
'Still' is the oldest, so not surprising. Happy to see d&d getting up there! Look out for explicit content in the last chapter of that, though lol. gathering the remains... I still like it, mostly. Not UNHAPPY to see it. Possession... I'll be honest, idk how that got there, really. It's not bad, but I wrote it in one day and hardly edited the thing =P would like something else to usurp it!
4) What fandoms do you write for?
I write for a lot more fandoms than I publish! All the ones that I can think of that I've written for at some point are: One Piece, Dragon Age, PotC, X-Men (comics), Hetalia (lol, in the old days), Elden Ring, LotR/Hobbit, Star Wars, Warrior Cats. Tbh, I have probably written at least SOMETHING for others, and am just forgetting
5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! Because most of the time, when people are commenting, they're trying to start a conversation! I think it's important to comment, and I've met some of my best fandom friends that way (@umbrace-rambles , spaceliquid <3)! Sometimes I get to it late, because of life and the ~mental illness~, but I try to leave something for everyone!
6) What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
OHHHH I love angst lol. But usually I like happy endings to go with! It's going to be resentment, gently they go, or bog bodies. (first two are MCD, the first violently. PLEASE be careful if you click on the third-- it is a psychological torture thing)
7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
If you don't count the epilogue (which I, officially, don't) Haunted ends on a wedding ! So that's fun! And The Road(trip) to Hell is Paved with Questionable Decision Making is just a fun romp, all around!
8) Do you get hate on fics?
I haven't, on anything that's published on AO3. I would block SO fast =P
9) Do you write smut?
oh boy DO I lol. ya'll know I do. I'm always sort of ???? about it though-- I just kind of cross my fingers that it's actually hot!
10) Do you write crossovers?
I haven't, yet! Not to say I wouldn't, though.
11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Wholecloth? Not that I'm aware of. Most of my stuff is too niche to bother with lmao. Did once read a fic that had such incredibly similar premise/specific events to one of my own that I suspect the idea was stolen.
12) Have you ever had a fic translated?
That just happened to me, today! Moonlight, in Mandarin! I was so honored that someone liked it enough to do that <3
13) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?
Was about to say no, but I did in high school! It was for Hetalia, and is no longer available, as far as I'm aware!
14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?
kjfbgajkbrgjk I don't know lol. I guess if we're looking at like... stuff I come back to and think is really compelling, it would probably be valvert, from Les Mis? a bit out of left field for everyone, but I love my old man yaoi <3
Also love K/S, for similar reasons ! My faves from OP are Dofladile <3
If we're talking DA it's probably still Zevwarden <3
15) What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
THIS QUESTION IS TRYING TO JINX ME AND I'M NOT GOING TO ANSWER IT!
16) What are your writing strengths?
I'm good at evoking specific emotions, and saying things in interesting ways. I can be very adaptable with different styles of dialogue, and I can alter my own style to what I think fits the story best.
17) What are your writing weaknesses?
Well that's a matter of opinion, but if I had to guess I'd say it's that I can't be brief to save my life! My elementary school teachers used to tell me to stop writing dissertations =P
Not a huge fan of action sequences, but I can get through them okay, I think. Describing places and physical attributes! I literally always forget to do that! I'm just like "idk, there was a guy in a place. you know."
18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?
I love putting other languages in fic! I don't fluently speak anything but English, though, so I'm always sort of side-eyeing the translation software. I don't know why, but I always hesitate to ask people to help with that? I just don't want to like... I dunno, make people do work for my little stories, or something lol
19) First fandom you wrote for?
It was Warrior Cats. All RP, though. First fic was for... X-men? I might've had unpublished Star Trek: Next Gen before that, though.
20) Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
Ah, this is haaaard ;-;
Haunted and its ancillary texts are very close to my heart <3
But honestly flesh might be some of my best work? I love it, but it is about the process of human decay, so it's a hard sell for ppl lol
I was tagged by the marvellous @hbyrde36 and the wonderful @dreamwatch 💜
rules: Share the fic you posted as close to exactly one year ago as possible. You can just post a link if you like, but feel free to talk about it too! How did you feel about this fic then, how do you feel now? Do you love it, hate it, has your writing changed at all? Anything you’d do differently in hindsight? Go nuts!
I started posting fic again last year after a hiatus that I can more or less count in decades. There is some half-hearted half-finished stuff that exists on my hard drive from the interim that has never and will never see the light of day, but if I go back a year I hadn’t posted anything in a really, really long time.
So if we skip back as far as the first fic I posted when I started up again, give or take a drabble that I don’t count, that would be the Steddie fic Fall for you (like suns do for skies) which I posted in December ’24, in which Steve stealth-dates Eddie. I didn’t really know where I was going with this — both the fic, Steddie and writing in general but since I posted this one (and including it) according to my spreadsheet I’ve written some 262,000 words of these two. That’s over the last eight months and includes my WIPs, and is something that would have been — I cannot stress this enough — unimaginable to me this time last year. Every time I think that well, that’s them done and my head is empty, something else bubbles up and more words fall out.
I have a soft spot for Fall For You because it was absolutely the breaking of the dam. It turned on my writing brain in a way that it hasn’t been for years — but it was the first time I wrote these guys and to me it feels like it; like I hadn’t settled in to them yet, or into writing something that other people would see again, and this feels to me now like a toe in the waters piece.
Don't get me wrong, I do like this one — but it's one I've not read back more or less since I posted it because if I did, I would want to mess with it.
I cannot remember who I have/haven't seen post this one already — so no pressure tags below if you want to run with it 💜
I was reading something about sleepwalking…. And it kick started a core memory I forgot I had with my best friend.
So context, my sister and our best friend Corgi, whom has been mentioned in this post, sleep walks from time to time, but it happened more often when we were kids.
So, my sister, our best friend and I were having a sleepover at her place one time. And the way we would always do sleep arrangements was, my sister and Corgi in Corgi’s bed, whilst we made me a mini bed out of couch cushions, pillows and blankets on the floor at the end of the bed, because I didn’t like sleeping in a cramped bed and being touched. Also both C and Corgi moved around a lot.
So it was around I wanna say almost midnight, and all three of us have fallen asleep at this point. Corgi has sleepwalked before but she normally would go to the kitchen or living room and just walk around or move stuff and you’d just have to tell her to go back to bed and she would. Well this night she decided she wouldn’t leave the bedroom and instead decided to just stand over me and stare… I woke up to this girl just dead eye staring at me at like midnight. She just stood there for I wanna say 10-15 minutes before she let out some like “meh” sound like she was bored or something and just climbed back into bed. She didn’t remember when I told her the next morning, so that was fun.
Oh and one time her dad or mom caught her trying to unlock the door while sleepwalking one time and scared the crap out of them. So yeah, sleepwalking besties are fun. Corgi is fine and hasn’t slept walked in a while from what we know, but she did say she slept walked about a month ago and apparently just chilled around the house.
But yeah, my best friend creepily watched me sleep while she was asleep. Good times. I wanna say we were like 8-9 when this happened. (We have known this girl for more than 10 years oh my gosh.)
