Oh I just saw the core lies thing. Utena's characters are such an obvious pull, but they're so juicy with their lies that it's fascinating and fun!
Poke at Juri! Show us how much she lies to herself! She's my favorite regal, cool, ikemen failgirl lesbian.
Core Lies ask meme. People send us a character. We interrogate what we believe their central false belief is.
Juri Arisugawa
Juri, from Revolutionary Girl Utena, is the captain of Ohtori's fencing team. Strong. Bold. Prideful. Sensible and accomplished.
Juri is one of the top ranking members of the school's society and serves as one of the duelists in Akio's game. She sticks strictly to the societal norms of the school's culture and does little to question or rebel against it.
She is, however, aware that she is oppressed by it.
Juri is a lesbian. In love with a former classmate of whom she was part of a toxic love triangle with.
Juri is also a mirror to the protagonist, Utena. They are both princely women who participate in the rose bride duels and have female love interests. Juri is a better duelist than Utena. Every time she loses it is because of her feelings of regret and desperation towards Shiori, the woman who hurts her and rejects her constantly. The woman she cannot get over.
In the first duel she, livid to see Utena walking the doomed path that she herself walked, demands to see a miracle that would bring about a success where she failed. Utena summons the power of Dios and a miracle happen.
The second duel she is emotionally torn apart by Ruka (of whom she is implied to have had sex with prior to the fight). Ruka chides that miracles can only be claimed via sacrifice.
Juri cannot let go. She is incapable.
Utena utilizes the power of Dios again. She was aiming for the rose but misses and instead rips her locket from her neck and exposes it. The image of Shiori sitting within.
She rips the rose off herself. Surrenders. Standing in the rain and allowing herself to just cry. To release the bitterness in her heart over Shiori. If only for a moment.
Juri's core lie within the text is simple "miracles are not real" but requires a deeper look to fully understand.
Her locket remains hidden under her uniform. She sits on the school council and aids the patriarchy of Akio's game despite it being a thing that limits her freedom. She holds on to bitterness and affection to Shiori years after the event, incapable of letting go.
Even at the end of the show she tells Utena that she thinks of herself as selfish and unable to release her emotions. She is consumed by repression and believes that this is the only way she can be, even after her defeat. Perhaps on a long enough timeline she will free herself.
But she's not willing to let go. She's not willing to sacrifice. She sees herself in Utena. But Utena never backed down. Never allowed the patriarchal system define her. Juri sides with the system. Utena rebels against it. One will aid the revolution of the abusive cycles. The other will aid in the revolution of tearing down Ohtori.
Juri believes nothing can be changed. That she cannot be changed. That she cannot actualize with the world as it is. That she cannot change the world. That her only choice is to hide her true heart, represented by the locket, and persist as the prestigious member of the school's society.
Juri is one of our favourite characters of all time.
She is potentially the most Camden coded character in fiction.
We love her. We hope that after Anthy leaves Ohtori that she heals and finds a nice woman out in the world.
For other core lie asks:
Daine (Tamora Pierce's Tortall series) and Susan (Terry Pratchett's Discworld series)
Bruce Banner (Hulk) and Jesse Faden (Control)
Elliot Alderson (Mr. Robot)
Evangeline Morgan (Of the Devil)
Master Aqua (Kingdom Hearts)
Briar Moss and Trisana Chandler (The Circle of Magic)
Rei Ayanami (Neon Genesis Evangelion)
Devil Hulk (The Immortal Hulk)
Beatrice the Golden Witch (Umineko)
The Venom Symbiote (Marvel Comics)
Jesse Pinkman (Breaking Bad/El Camino)
Theory: there isn't a lot in the realm of kink or hypnosis that you& haven't tried, simulated in headspace, or considered at *least* once
We like to run the numbers. Between Camden and Dawn there is always some attempts to think about how we'd approach scenes. Dawn recently began experimenting with "blessed amulet" suggestions. She was driven by jokes about the meme.
We have successfully used Powerwash Simulator, Tetris, Polybius (the Steam game) and Blue Prince as induction tools.
We are of the firm belief that everything can be an induction or suggestion and can be done safe and enjoyable. The only limit is imagination. We have a lot to spare for the task.
In your opinion, do you think Akio "fell" from being Dios? Or was he evil all along? Adolescence seems to go for the latter interpretation, though it doesn't seem entirely clear in the show either way. What little we see of Dios himself, he seems condescending toward Utena.
Content warning: incest, sexual abuse, sexual abuse of a minor, suicide
Okay. We took our time. Sorry for the wait.
Given we write our Media, Myself & I essays on complex dissociation, allow us to tackle this from the perspective of cognitive dissonance of an irredeemable abuser who sees themselves as both a saviour and a victim.
Before we begin note that Utena is a show that requires an allegorical read to fully understand its narrative. Our reading is subjective. It may not match every reading. We'll do our best to explain the line between text and interpretation. Challenge us if needed. We do not believe we have the correct read.
So. Prince Dios and Akio Ohtori.
To be blunt and swift the TL;DR version is this: Prince Dios is a projection. He is an ideal. He is an unreachable concept.
Now. Let's tell the literal read and then interpret.
The backstory that Utena is provided is that Prince Dios was a brave prince who traveled the world and protected women and loaned them his strength. We see him do this for Utena in both the misremembered fantasy of the fairy tale intro and the reality based story of a traumatized/grieving Utena having a brief encounter with the prince after discovering the martyred rose bride.
At a certain point this dashing prince grew weak. Unable to live up to the demands of the world. The people grew angry with him and brought about their entitled wrath. Anthy in an act of martyrdom took on the hatred of the world for depriving the world of the brave Prince Dios.
Akio then goes on to set up the dueling game under the stated goal to release Dios from his egg prison, like the chick of the poem. He is engaged to marry Kanae Ohtori, the daughter of the head of Ohtori Academy. In order to literally wield the power of the establishment, Akio changes his name to meet his fiancée. He then takes on the title The End of the World and uses his position of power to groom and sexually exploit the students of the academy while sexually abusing his scapegoated younger sister.
That is a very broad and swift version of the literal story. Apologies if there is any misremembering. Utena is a dense show with contradicting versions of stories filtered through character biases and misremembering. We did not commit to rewatching 39 episodes before speaking to this.
Dios is said to exist in a floating Castle of Eternity that lays above the dueling ground. During Utena's battles the ghost of Dios blesses Utena and allows her to overcome her opponent in her bids to defend the rose bride.
At the end of the show we discover that this castle (representing the ideal heteronormative Happily Ever After romance) was just a projection in the chairman's office that uses the literal planetarium projector that lives in that office. The egg that Dios is said to be trapped within is a literal projector.
He is a projection. An illusion.
The backstory that we are given describes the brave prince and Akio continually asserts that it is who he was and what he desires to awaken.
Which brings us to the magical thinking interpretation that we hold.
In Adolescence the death of Akio is brought about by Anthy being awake, lucid and looking him in the eye when he rapes her. He attempts to flee from the scene of his monstrous act but Anthy had stolen his car keys. His agency. Unable to handle looking at who he had become he opts to jump from the top of the tower as Anthy had attempted to do at her lowest point.
Unlike Anthy, there is no one to catch her and beg her not to go through with it.
Akio is a monster.
In the final arc of the show he has isolated his two victims and left them both so cornered and bereft of hope that they are looking at death as a potential escape.
Yet when confronted in episode 38 and shown Utena's example of true selfless heroism in episode 39, he has excuses for everything. Justifications for all his acts. He talks about how martyred Anthy is by the hateful world that stripped everything from the pair of them.
Akio cannot look himself in the mirror. He deflects all accusation by spinning tales, scapegoating his victim and blaming her for her own abuse and sanitizing his acts by normalizing them.
In my read, as an illusion/projection, Dios is who Akio believes himself to be. He was once a hero, a prince, a paragon of chivalry and in his mind he should be that. That is who he was told he was and so if he is not that then there must be a reason, a cause, a blame. Because Akio IDENTIFIES as a good heroic prince.
But he's a groomer who has a whole cult of indoctrinated victims who isolate and prepare further victims for him to prey upon.
At the end of this post I link to SulMatul's video series on Utena. Video 3 is specifically about abusers and how they control their victims. I am not even going to pretend my Tumblr Dot Com Ask answer can approach the level of detail and research of that video. So if you want a full answer, skip this and go to that.
SulMatul quite correctly focused on the danger of the abuser's methods and what they do to their victims. I'll type a little about the mental gymnastics a person must commit to in order to hold true the idea "I am a good prince who is kind to women" while sexually abusing them.
Let's talk about Cognitive Dissonance.
Leon Festinger coined the term in his writing When Prophecy Fails to describe the act of holding contradicting beliefs that do not stand up to scrutiny of reality. When presented with contradicting evidence the mind has a tendency to adjust their beliefs to accommodate the current reality.
In this writing he spoke about cults that had specific prophecies with concrete dates and studied how their belief structures endured the date of their prophecies passing without the believed acts coming to pass.
Cognitive dissonance allows these challenged beliefs to remain truth in the face of evidence to their falsehood.
Akio's most consistent method of doing this is to normalize his actions or scapegoat his victims.
In Cognitive Dissonance theory these justifications are reflected by the acts of Rationalization, Just-World Fallacy, Confirmation Bias and Selective Perception.
Let's talk about them one by one.
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Rationalization
Rationalization (ego defense) is the mind tackling emotional conflict by concealing the nuance of their own beliefs through throwing up (not necessarily accurate) information to justify, downplay or avoid the conflict.
"It's good that we invaded that country because the people were suffering under the corrupt regime and can have a better life now that we have enacted war upon them" is an all too common version in reality where people justify invading a foreign nation without allowing themselves to believe they are evil.
For a good example of Akio's behavior we can look at the conversation between Akio, Touga and Nanami in the back of his car during the 3rd arc of the show. Nanami has come to live with Utena, Anthy and Akio in the chairman's building and witnessed Akio having sex with Anthy.
She plans to flee Ohtori and is instead cornered by her brother and Akio who take her on a car ride. The car rides symbolizing Akio using his position of power and his adulthood to give the youngsters a taste of the power and agency that adulthood grants you. Often the car rides represent sex but agency is the more appropriate read. Sex is just one of the many things only an adult should be able to do. Driving a car is another.
During the car ride Nanami tries to say outloud what Akio did but cannot stomach to speak the words. Akio merely laughs and responds:
"What do you see with your eyes? Merely your own world. The world you perceive. The world in which you exist. A world like a labyrinth with no way out... where you are doomed by your limited point of view to endlessly wander the same path. But what you need to see does not lie there."
Touga, under Akio's instructions, then attempts to force himself on his 13 year old sister in the back of the car. When she pushes him away he demands "Isn't this what you wanted?!" she refuses, "Even though we're not really brother and sister?!"
It is revealed that they are and Touga knows they are. That very episode ends with Akio asking when he intends to tell her the truth. Both men in the car knew. But the instruction was to normalize the behavior, minimizing it, obfuscate it. Downplay. Warp and bend the truth until their victim caves in.
Akio's above speech is an attempt to tell Nanami that he is not wrong for assaulting his sister. She is in the wrong for viewing it as immoral. If it's so terrible then why does she seek romance from her brother? If she cannot be made to understand through words then actions will suffice.
Here Akio's is trying to play that he is not a monster. Nanami just doesn't understand. But she can be made to understand. After all. Isn't this what she wants, too?
All of that with the horrific unspoken implication.
Akio believes this is what Anthy wants.
He believes his assault on Utena is what she wants.
If these children didn't want what he shows them then they'd reject it and him, surely? After all. They let him do it to them. He isn't forcing them...
This implication, unspoken for now, eventually does find voice though...
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Just-World Fallacy
Just-World Fallacy is the cognitive distortion that claims that there is an arbiter of morality and fate that ensure that people "get what they deserve". This can be "criminals deserve to be assaulted in prison" or "our neighbors deserves to lose their home for not having a rainy day fund" or more terrifyingly "She was asking for it."
The idea that there is some cosmic fairness that justifies the incongruity.
Or in Akio's case "Anthy took Dios away from the world so she deserves to be abused as The Rose Bride."
But also, when taken to task about assaulting Anthy by Utena he says this:
He plays on the projector the sequence where he forced himself upon her in the back of the car.
The entire context of this scene is about the toxic behavior abusers use to control their victims, minimize their accusations and escape accountability. I am not arguing that Akio believes what he is saying here but...
He is using an accusation levied at Utena to escape blame.
Not resisting when an engaged man kisses you and routinely raping your biological sibling are not comparable.
Not only is Akio saying that Utena's failure to resist was consent. He is saying that if it was assault then she deserved it for being in a romantic situation with an unavailable man.
"Isn't it unfair to pretend only you are noble and in the right?"
Here is Akio recognizing the fallacy and using it as a weapon to attack Utena with. The entire confrontation in Episode 38 is an abuser levying attack after attack on the ego of someone confronting him and every single attack is a confession.
He truly believes that his victims deserve the treatment they receive and if they don't deserve it then neither does he. He gets to both be right for how he acts and absolved if his victims justify it for themselves then they justify it for him too.
He outright says that Anthy is responsible for the prince no longer existing. That he once viewed her as a goddess who would sacrifice for the one that she loved, her brother; but now she is nothing more than a witch.
The implication of course being.
A witch deserves to be treated like this. For depriving the world of Dios.
...and if she doesn't deserve it...
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Perhaps she desires it.
Confirmation Bias
Confirmation Bias is the unconscious behavior of seeking and absorbing information that validates and supports pre-existing beliefs, using it to further justify and evidence that belief. For instance specifically searching for 1-star reviews of the new Avatar movie because you hate the series and want the new one to be bad.
Or perhaps a more topical example, dismissing a news story inconvenient to your political beliefs as "Fake News"
He can look at his perpetually traumatized sister and sees her complying with the script that he has instilled into her. Every time in the show Anthy has claimed to be the rose bride, to obey the winner of the duel, to be disposable, to deserve this.
She's a victim speaking the words of her abuser.
And her abuser hears he speak these words, words he has planted in her lips, and can believe them to be true. To justify the actions that cause those words to exist in the first place.
She is a victim of abuse and acts like a victim of abuse and because she acts like a victim of abuse he treats her like a victim of abuse.
Just like Utena not rejecting the kiss or allowing him to have sex with her in the love hotel, a lack of rejection is consent.
For an abuser they can self-justify their acts by claiming that they are merely playing a part that they have been forced into.
"Don't make me hurt you."
Princely Dios is vanquished from this world because the cruel witch forces him to act the part of a monster. It's not his fault. It's hers. She's the one choosing this. This is the product of her choices. Her free will.
In episode 38 Akio is candid about this. He is no longer the prince and it is Anthy's fault in his eyes.
So if he is accepting that he is a monster (because Anthy wants it/made him) then how can he believe himself a good person, how can he believe that he is still capable of being a prince?
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Selective Perception
Selective Perception is the cognitive bias that leads a person to highlight things they are predisposed to agree with while ignoring or dismissing things which contradict their worldview.
A classic one is a football fan seeing two instances of a sliding tackle and claiming that the one from their team was to take possession of the ball and not deserving of referee intervention but the opposing team was trying to injure the other player and deserves a red card.
It's taking the same information and using it to reinforce their existing behaviors no matter the context. The reality of the situation is that both teams are capable of unsportsman conduct, but tribalism and selective perception enables one to see the same act as virtuous by the in-group and nefarious by the out-group.
A horrifying version of this cognitive bias can be seen in this simple statement he makes during the duel with Utena.
Utena is a child when she is spouting ignorant ideals at Akio in defiance of him. She is an adult in his mind when she offers dubious and uninformed consent to have sex with him.
But for a version of this specific to how Akio views himself as a prince despite being a monster one need only look at episodes 38 and 39 to see how often Akio comments to himself (or the reflection of Dios) that Utena is just like how he used to be and that she is doomed to fail in her quest to save Anthy because he was unable to save her too.
As far as he is concerned the only outcome of being a hero is to fail. When he tells Utena that she is selfish and ignorant and does not know what she's trying to do she states, in defiance of all "I will become a prince" destroying the illusion of Eternity and Dios entirely.
Akio cannot maintain the projection of princely goodness against Utena's true demonstration of it.
It may have been destroyed for good if not for Anthy, seeing this illusion crumble, literal backstabs Utena. As so many abuse victims choose to do when someone tries to pry them out of their coffin.
...as Adolscence proves... a victim can not be rescued from hell. They have to be given the support and agency and understanding to walk out for themselves. Heaven knows I've been the backstabber and the one to walk away in the past. Without structured support and care I may well have gone back of my own free will. Recognizing that terrifies me.
Episode 39 has Akio and Dios existing as separate entities viewing Utena's attempt at rescuing Anthy, once again reinforcing that living up to these ideals is an impossibility and if Akio cannot be a prince, it is impossible for anyone to be. Because Akio is a good person who just failed. Utena must be the same.
Watching as Utena displays her heroic determination, Akio merely sees her as a reflection of the warped self-perception of his princely persona and he feels no threat to her outshining him or proving him wrong because obviously she will fail as he did.
Akio, the man who keeps Anthy imprisoned in an abusive relationship and routinely assaults her, truly looks at a selfless and valiant attempt to rescue her and dismisses it as worthless because he tried and failed and in assuming that views himself as a fallen hero and not an abuser. When provided evidence of someone living up to the ideals he claims himself to display he downplays them while also attempting to identify with them.
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In comparison to Akio. When Anthy attempts to commit suicide and is stopped by Utena, she begins confessing that she trapped Utena in the cycle of abuse with her and that she was cruel and manipulative during their entire relationship.
Here's a transcript of the conversation copied from this SRT file (Red is Anthy, Pink is Utena):
"Forgive me, Miss Utena. The pain I feel comes with the curse of being the Rose Bride."
"The pain I caused you…! You were swept up into all this against your will. And even knowing that, I…! I used you and your naivete. I took advantage..."
"Forgive me, Miss Utena. I've cheated you. I've used you. I've betrayed you from the very beginning. I--"
"No."
"I… I never realized the pain you were in. I never noticed how much you were suffering. And despite that, I…! I kept acting like I was a noble prince who would save you!"
"The truth is, my protecting you was just for my ego! And the night I learned about you and Akio…! I thought that you had betrayed me. Even though you were suffering so much…! After I had said we should help each other, come what may…! I was the one who cheated you! I was the one who used you!"
"I was the one who betrayed you…!!!"
Anthy choosing to jump from the tower throws Utena's identity of being a heroic prince who will rescue her under attack and rather than accept Anthy's programmed self-abuse and martyring words, she rejects them and accepts responsibility. Admits that she was performing the heroic act for the sake of her own ego and that she viewed Anthy as a prop to be the hero that she had sworn herself to become.
That's maturity. That's accountability.
The ability to know your motivations and desires and see the evidence of the way those motivations and reality do not match and truly and openly reflect on the reasons why.
When Anthy tried to jump from the tower and showed Utena just how failed her attempts at heroism were, she owned it.
When Anthy looked Akio in the eyes and showed just how far from the heroic ideal he was acting, he chose to jump from the tower himself.
That's the difference between a hero and a coward.
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If you enjoyed this, please check out our essay on Anthy's parallels to Laura Palmer and Nanami.
Or SulMatul's Patreon which has a 4 part breakdown of the whole show.
Had an absolutely fascinating dream this morning where we ended up, for reasons unknown, getting sent a year into the past in an alternate universe. Reason we're talking about it in our asks was you were there as a college professor and we were like "wait we know her!" and there was a moment where like, in this world we had no knowlwdge of eachother so we mentioned Rush as one of the constants and dream-y'all responded that something had happened to cause you to call thwm "the constants no longer".
Thank you for listening to our vivid dream fuled ramble this just happens to us sometimes
There are times we wonder if Dawn actually is a Faerie that has possessed us. We appear in too many people's dreams to not have some kind of dream diving ability.
Hope professor CamDawn was kind.
She exists in a nightmare reality, though. Rush no longer being a constant? That would be soul crushing.
We feel for her. She must be in pain.
Our heart travels through dimensions to offer her comfort.
Believe we have typed on it in the past but Dawn's favourite thing with her partners is to use video games as a fractionation tool. She has done it for decades at this point. From abusing the flow state of Tetris or Puzzle League to conditioning a Pavlovian response to the chime sound in Powerwash Simulator, it is a hobby.
There was a point prior to deleting Twitter where we ran a thread. People would suggest a video game and we would work out how to make it hypnotic.
Washing a brain in Powerwash and each thought being emptied on a chime until 100% of all thoughts are gone.
Fractionate a person by dropping them and waking them every time they died in Celeste.
Drop a little deeper each time they pick up a ring in Sonic.
Ammo in an action game. Every reload drops them deeper or ammo conservation so no thoughts when empty.
The closer to 1st place in a race the drowsier one becomes.
Stocks acting as drop and health % working as depth for Smash.
It's fun to work out how to do it.
Every actively engaging video game in some way wishes to inflict flow state in some regard and is already built to induce this in a player. All Dawn does is add some hypnokink to that which is already part of the experience.
This one is curious if you've ever played with a doll in person that had it's joints drawn on
if not, you should definitely draw them on yourself
- A non-biased individual
Waiting until our headspace shifts before answering other questions. This one is cut and dry. Can respond now.
We have known two people in our circles who have bjd tattoos. Not anyone who we have played with personally. We have looked into buying sleeves for our doll girlfriend. They are expensive if they are good quality, however.
You seem hard to get to know because your alters have such radically different views of yourself that it seems hard to anticipate how you want to be talked to. I'm glad you have those in life who have taken the time to love you.
Apt and accurate.
It is extra difficult because we attempt to project outwards a unified sense of self. It is our aim and goal to ensure that people enjoy the company of CamDawn, not of any specific alter in the system.
This requires us to not compartmentalize our experience. This Tumblr blog is proof of that. The Unfiltered Experience ensures there is no area of our life 'hidden' from the others. Everything we do must be signed off by the whole system.
Our therapist used to be strict about this.
We would have 'vulnerability hangovers' often. A vulnerability hangover is an anxious swelling of regret or panic that comes after a significant disclosure. These would destabilize the system and cause symptoms to flare and negative trauma reactions to memories to become more pronounced.
Her method of minimizing this was to ensure everyone present consented to all disclosures. The parts dissociated from memory and emotion could speak of the memories with no pause. The parts associated with the memories would feel it later.
Consenting as a system kept us grounded. Helped us recover.
The Unfiltered Experience is an attempt to do this for every aspect of our life. For our outward expression. For how we are perceived.
Which makes things difficult when we deal with how we wish to be treated.
I, Wynn, do not like being touched. I am not affectionate. Not playful.
This is likely as the majority of my time fronting was as a boss in a professional setting. Fraternizing with staff is forbidden. One needs to lead by example.
I do have a sense of humour. I have an affinity for movies distinct from the system. There are parts of my expression that are unique to me. Preferences in how I socialize.
Even still I have... difficulty... accepting personal pronouns. I lean heavily upon 'we'. For the longest time the emotions, the perspectives, the understanding of what this mindset is? It was a mood. An ice wall specifically designed to remove ego from what we did. When we fired people, when our movie theatre received awards, when the team that ran it performed well. That was 'us' never 'me'. I internalized that. I became that.
As Nomi Marks said in sense8 'I am a we'.
However.
It is unfair to withdraw affection from partners because I am fronting. It is unfair to be cold towards Dawn's friends. Especially as they often carve space for me. So we maintain a singular expression. Dawn does not have friends. We have friends. That require all of us to maintain. To show up. To care.
Even if that takes more effort at times.
But let us take 'how you want to be talked to' at value.
We have described it to friends who share similar personality traits as 'placing a mirror in front of a mirror'. We are pivoting how we perform friendship and casual conversation to meet that of the person we are speaking with.
If someone does this back to us in return it leads to a feedback loop.
It is possible to find a rhythm that works. The most common version is Dawn will become the flirting Fae that people expect her to be. If her conversation partner plays the part of a trembling submissive she will bolster her role. There is synergy. Two people performing a social script. It is lubricated and authentic behind the inauthentic veneer.
More often than not we will ask questions, be invested in what our conversation partner is invested in and attempt to respond well to a person's fascinations. We also enthusiastically reward curiousity levied at us.
Cammie and Dawn are easy mode. Craig is laid back. Not running scripts. Just being chill. Camden is guarded and defensive, worried that her presence is unwelcome; she needs reassurance and invitation. I am disaffected.
We are also very bad at reaching out without a specific purpose. Sometimes it is because we are committed to maintaining a friendship and routine 'good morning' messages.
There are days we scroll through a chat history and find loose threads to initiate and engage. We are neurotic like that. We have internalized that loneliness is a self-inflicted problem when we are attached to the humanity connection system 24/7.
We want to talk. To be connected. We're just shy.
We. Are shy. Dawn is capable of ignoring that fact about us. To the point of which one can accurately say that Dawn is not shy.
We are. The body we inhabit has a flinch of social anxiety when we speak to people. Dawn ignores it. But it still exists.
That is what dissociation is. The ability to distance the mind from the body.
Apologies if this is too much info for an anon-opinion ask.
