*Seated on a sunchair, you read a novel while enjoying the sunlight and listening to the river's flow. Your scythe rests against the ground beside your chair.*
*Your younger sibling, War, appears as she passes by.*
War: Hey, big sis. What are you doing?
You: Enjoying a novel while waiting for him to give up.
War: *tilts her head* Who?
*A large body falls into the river from above. You two watch it lie there for a moment before a bright light flashes, and he comes back to life.”
Starscream: Damm you, Megatron! I’ll get you for this!
You: *turn toward War with an indifferent expression* Him.
You: He has a fragment of the Allspark stuck in his forehead, so he’s stuck in a limbo, which prevents him from entering his afterlife. I came to help him out of it. But he's fixated on overthrowing his former boss and taking charge of that boss’s faction.
War: Why don't you just reap him with your scythe and make him go to rest?
You: Since the Allspark is an artifact of life—technically—he's legally alive. So, I can't reap him, unlike the other undead.
*Starscream's body falls from the sky once more, crashing into the river and lying there before awakening again,*
War: Oh… How long has he been at it?
You: If I remember correctly. This is his fourteenth resurrection.
You: *look toward Starscream* Are you ready to go home now?
Starscream: *points at you with his finger* No! I will not leave this world until I'm the leader of the Decepticons and that slaghead Megatron is dead! Vengeance shall be mine!
You: *turn toward War* As you can see, he's pretty persistent. And since there's nothing I can do about it, I decided to try to wait him out.
War: Huh. Now I’m curious to see how this will turn out.
*Starscream's body falls into the river once more*
Attempt 16
*You and War stand within the Decepticon lair. *
Starscream: *jumps out of the shadows and shoots Megatron with his blasters.*
Megatron: *stands up from his throne, the blasters doing nothing to him. He draws his swords and then cuts Starscream down, killing him.*
War: *stops a timer* Hmm... he lasted six seconds.
Attempt 21
*You and War sit on a cliff, watching Starscream silently walk up to Megatron, while the latter is giving a speech*
Starscream: *throws a bomb at Megatron.*
Megatron: *catches the bomb in his servos and tosses it back.*
Starscream: *panics before the bomb explodes, killing him. *
War: *stops the timer* Huh, 5 seconds, less than last time.
You: *mark up a score on the markboard you decided to use. Megatron: 21. Starscream: 0*
Attempt 24
*You and War lounge on sunchairs on top of a cliff where the sun shone the brightest, watching Starscream spy on Megatron below.*
Starscream: *waits for Megatron to walk beneath him so he can detonate the bombs and bury his boss under rocks. *
Starscream: *sets the bombs off, forgetting he had set the bombs right below him.*
Starscream: *shrieks as he falls with the rocks, burying himself at the base of the cliff.*
Megatron: *glances at the rubble, having not even been near the target area, rolls his optics, and walks away.
War: *stops the timer once more and looks at you* Goodness. He really is persistent.
Attempt 26
*You and War sit on top of boulders within the Decepticon lair, sharing energon popsicles.*
Starscream: *whispering to himself while crawling along the ceiling* Finally. A flawless plan. Silent. Elegant. Untraceable.
War: Every time he says that, something explodes.
You: Statistically accurate.
*Starscream lowers himself directly above Megatron’s throne, dagger raised.*
Starscream: Victory shall be m—
*The Allspark fragment in his forehead flares.*
Starscream: …Wait.
*He freezes mid-air, twitching violently as random systems reboot*.
Megatron: *without looking up* Starscream. Get down from the ceiling.
Starscream: I—this isn’t what it looks like!
Megatron: It never is.
*Megatron casually backhands Starscream into a pillar. The resulting shockwave obliterates him.*
War: *stops the timer* Wow! Three seconds.
You: Huh. That might be a new record. Should I add a half a point for getting close this time?
Attempt 31
War: I'm telling you he's gonna end up blowing himself up with that weapon.
You: No. He doesn't die the same way twice. This time, it's gonna be either sabotage or he'll anger the local wildlife.
War: It's a bet then.
*You and War watch Starscream attempt to use a weapon he assembled from scraps found in an abandoned mine.*
Starscream: *has Megatron in his sight and charges up his weapon.* Steady. Steady.
*He watches as a scraplet crawls out of the barrel—one of the scraps having been its nest.*
Starscream: Ah! Scraplet! *smacks the weapon, sending the scraplet flying but unintentionally rotating the barrel toward himself. The weapon finishes charging.*
Starscream: Oops.
*Blows himself up.*
You: *groan in defeat*
War: *grin* He blew himself up, which means I won. Now give me some of that candy Dad made.
You: *hand her the candy and update the scoreboard.* Megatron: 31. Starscream: 0
*The scraplet returns and starts munching on Starscream's body*
Last attempt
*You and War lounge on a picnic blanket, watching Starscream execute the entire train plot while playing a card game.*
You: *focus on the game and place your final card, winning.*
War: *groans and hands you back the candies you lost in your previous game*
War: *looks behind you and points* Uh… sis.
*You turn to see the Autobots escort a cuffed Starscream onto their ship before flying off into Earth’s orbit.*
*You and War watch the departing ship in silence.*
You: You know what? Fuck this. *stand up and grab your scythe*
I’ll come back for him once that stupid gem is out of his head.
