Part IV of thinking way too hard about City Connect uniforms: NL East edition.
(Part I: AL East) (Part II: AL Central) (Part III: AL West)
Philadelphia 'Unapologetically Philly' City Connects. Just gonna start off by saying that I think this uniform sucks and we'll go from there.
The gradient is stupid. But if you simply must have it because that's what kids want these days: it's also too minimal. Because the pants are the same color as the bottom of the jersey, the whole effect is super dark with just a little of the lighter blue up top. This matters because the stated color referent is the flag of the city of Philadelphia:
which you will note is rather heavier on the bright blue than it is on the black.
The font is meant to 'resemble lettering used on the Declaration of Independence and similar documents,' but this is simply a bald-faced lie. Let us compare some number 7s from the actual Declaration of Independence with the 7 that is part of this special Philly font.
You're gonna try to tell me that that sharpened C-clamp of an alleged numeral is a totally normal number 7? You're gonna try to tell me that messed up 7 is what the founding fathers intended? You're gonna just look me straight in the face and lie? Right in front of my cheesesteak??
There's actually so much more I could say about these uniforms-- we haven't even gotten into my issues with the hat logo or sleeve patch-- but we have to stop somewhere, so enjoy this photo of the Phanatic being unable to save this jersey while Bryce Harper promotionally rubs his nipples:
Verdict: If even the Phanatic looks bad in your special jersey, it must be real bad.
Atlanta 'Keep Swinging' City Connects. The entire uniform--colors, design, details-- is inspired by or related to Hank Aaron and the 1974 Braves team that Aaron played for when he hit his record-breaking 715th home run.
I don't hate these. I like the idea of bringing back the 70s-style contrast shoulder yokes. I like color blocking on both the hats and the jerseys. I like that they retained a stylistic referent to the shoulder feathers of that mid-70s Braves uniform but made the design about Hank Aaron's batting crown instead. I like that their ideas about pumping this up and making it more fun didn't involve too much unnecessary frippery but instead seems to have mostly focused on making the blue brighter.
But I think Atlanta might have misunderstood the assignment?
Honoring Hank Aaron and his accomplishments via uniform tribute is cool. I know that he is definitely associated with Atlanta. But he was... a singular human man? And City Connect uniforms are supposed to be about... connecting... to the city?
Verdict: Hank Aaron is now a synecdoche for the entire city of Atlanta.
Washington 2022 'In Bloom' City Connects. I had a couple quibbles but for the most part these fucking ruled. Gray and pink as primary uniform colors had never been done before in MLB. I love that they went for it. I love that they used a pale pink instead of a magenta or hot pink. In a lot of ways these uniforms are the polar opposite of all the teams who seem to think that 'cool and popular with the kids' means loud colors and gradients.
It is a little bit 'we only had one idea,' but I love that they really leaned into the flowers and had them in color on the jersey, in sublimation print on the jersey, on the socks, embroidered all over the hat... and I love that they went with relatively realistic depictions of the flowers instead of more cartoony or abstracted icons.
My only real objections were the fact that I think 'WSH' is stupid (although I get it, Washington is a long word and the chest wordmark looks nicer with a compact word that lets you use bigger letters), and the white on the WSH letters looked like a different white than the pants. It wasn't always obvious but in some lighting I think you could really tell:
I'm not crazy, right? Those pants are cream? And the WSH is white? I dunno. Maybe it is just the lighting.
Verdict: Original colors, original design elements, creative and classy. If it wasn't for WSH these would be a perfect 10.
Washington 2025 'District Blueprint' City Connects. I would probably be more positive about these if they weren't such a big downgrade from their 2022 City Connects.
The blues are supposed to be "tones of American denim," which is hilarious, because of all the cities I associate with American denim, Washington DC is not even close to sniffing the list.
The pattern on the body of the jersey is a DC street map. Unfortunately it is barely legible. I love this close-up that they helpfully offered with their promo materials:
I can tell that's a map, probably, but it still barely looks like anything. And this is the clearest look you will ever get at it short of getting your hands on the actual design file with layers you can turn on and off.
The Capitol building dome in the hat logo is kinda nice, but unfortunately for the Nats, the Capitals of ice hockey fame have been rocking that vibe since like 2007 and they're doing it with a cool eagle W.
The District Blueprints are legible, they aren't embarrassing, they aren't pajamas (they are worn with white pants). But they just aren't as good as the first iteration.
Verdict: When you begin standing on the high ground, the only path left to you is down.
Miami 2021 'Sugar Kings' City Connects. This uniform is supposed to reference the Havana Sugar Kings, a Cuban minor league team from the 1940s-60s, and therefore connect the Marlins to the significant Cuban community in Miami. Makes sense.
They made a sleeve patch that references a Sugar Kings sleeve patch, which is pretty good. Sadly there is an even better Sugar Kings logo out there which they ignored.
These suffer a little bit from the Boston Marathon Red Sox City Connects issue, in that I think they make sense given the City Connects thesis statement, the design is not horrible or anything, they are bright and fun without being stupid, but I don't think the Marlins are a 'bright red as primary color' team. I just don't. The Marlins have been and can be many different colors but this particular shade of red simply is not one of them. I look at these uniforms and I think, yeah, that's a decent-looking baseball team. But I will never look at them and immediately think 'Miami Marlins'. In fact if I glance quickly at these I think they are the Phillies City Connects that Should Have Been.
Verdict: Fine, but aggressively the wrong color.
Miami 2025 'Retrowave' City Connects. This is not the most exciting image to introduce these uniforms but it's one of the clearest looks I've found at the most bonkers feature of these things: the two-tone hat/helmet brim. WHAT! You can also kind of see that the striping on the jersey is asymmetrical: it's stronger on the left and fades out to black on the right, so that it more obviously resembles speed lines. Because Miami is always in motion or whatever.
These things are nuts, but unlike the Sugar Kings unis I do genuinely think that these SCREAM Miami. The teal is a throwback to the original team color while the hot pink is supposed to represent the future or something, who knows, it doesn't matter because teal/hot pink is an incredibly Miami-themed color combo. I know it's basically their regular colors these days, but this alt dials it up a good bit.
There are gradients involved with this uniform, but they are mostly deployed well. I love the stupid fucking hot pink to teal pants stripe gradient.
This is the hat. They are very proud of the fact that they are the first MLB team to put an area code on their hat, but then they immediately backtrack and say that other area codes, like Ft. Lauderdale's 954, are also important to the team. I find this hilarious.
I am proud of them for not listening to the evil voices that were apparently telling every team in the AL to pair black pants with their black jerseys.
Verdict: It's 80s Night at the club and you're in Miami, put on the jersey. Put on the fucking jersey. Yes. Perfect. See you there.
Mets 'For all NYC' City Connects.
YOU MADE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE THE YANKEES. YOU REMOVED MOST OF THE THINGS THAT MADE YOU THE METS. YOU ARE THE NEW YORK METS AND YOU DESIGNED A UNIFORM THAT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE THE YANKEES!!!
And the jersey pinstripes don't even match up at the shoulder seams, which just makes the jersey look cheap.
Verdict: Breathtaking failure. Failure of a scope and scale I can barely begin to enumerate. A failure at every level, including the spiritual. Everyone involved should be ashamed.
15 OC questions! You already know who it is. tagged by @helltrait.
Are you named after anyone?
Simone: not that i know of?
Deven: who knows.
When was the last time you cried?
Simone: xavi’s birthday! i don’t know what i’ma do with a highschooler.
Deven: when malik was born. watchin’ your wife get cut open is some wild shit.
Simone: he cried at all of our kids’ births, the c-section won’t it.
Do you have kids?
Simone: oh lord.
Deven: three! xavier starts high school in the spring, we talked about him joining the football team but he can’t decide between that and computer team. we told him he had to pick one. at least this season, so he doesn’t get overwhelmed. lil mama’s in elementary, and we’re working on bike riding. she just lost her first tooth! and she starts piano lessons soon. man man’s still a baby, so he mostly runs ‘round behind xavi and lauryn tryin to do what they do. but he’s potty trained! so we’re done with diapers.
Simone: ...baby did you breathe that whole time?
Deven: is this just gon’ be you roasting me all day?
Do you use sarcasm?
Deven: nah, i’m straight up. say what i mean.
Simone: i used to, but kids don’t understand it so i had to stop myself before i got in trouble.
What’s the first thing you notice about people?
Simone: the first thing they notice about me. i guess it’s leftover from being in school and everyone looking at you funny all the time.
Deven: their vibe. is that a cop out? but i try to feel people out quick, because i know what i don’t like. people who stay looking over their shoulder? or who can’t handle their anger? i don’t fuck with that.
What’s your eye colour?
Deven: brown. she’s not answering this one.
Simone: baby, i can answer it, it’s alright. my eyes are blue. naturally.
Scary movies or happy endings?
Simone: scary movies.
Deven: i like when she watches scary movies, because she’s scary as hell.
Simone: uh uh!
Deven: but i prefer happy movies.
Any special talents?
Deven: hehe-
Simone: no!
Deven: okay okay, okay. i can lay down a track like nobody’s business and i build a hell of a treehouse. and she does this thi-
Simone: deven! i’m a good cook. and i can do a handstand 6 months pregnant.
Deven: yeah, that’s what i was gonna say. what did you think i was gonna say?
Where were you born?
Simone: portsim.
Deven: both of us.
What are your hobbies?
Simone: what are those? no, i love yoga, running and cooking. video games too.
Deven: video games, like she said. when the muse is really there, i like making music - but only when it flows. forcing it isn’t fun. it’s the same with coding. when it flows? it’s fun as hell.
Have you got any pets?
Deven: just one - our rottie, fiona.
What sports do you play/have played?
Simone: i ran track in high school.
Deven: besides a pickup game here and there, or football in someone’s backyard? nothin.
How tall are you?
Simone: 5′6″.
Deven: 6′1″.
Favourite subject in school?
Simone: math!
Deven: ‘cause she’s a weirdo. i liked music and science.
Simone: weirdo that couch tonight, how about that?
Dream job?
Simone: i really thought for a long time that i was gonna be his manager. but i don’t dream of labor, baby.
Deven: i don’t know anymore. i used to have an answer but i don’t know if my reasons were right, y’know? i love my job now, it pays the bills, and that’s good enough.
TAGGING!:
@novac2281 @bastardtrait @cinamun @storiesbyjes2g @tartiish @acuar-io @florwalsims and anyone else who wants to do this!
xavier got a sports scholarship to britechester, so he’s gonna be a dragon like his mom & dad starting at the end of the summer. in the meantime, malik & lauryn are taking a break from piano & violin lessons to go to arts and sports camp while school is out.
simone & deven both have work rivals, but tbh they’re too busy to worry about it.