the royal family would never have let the prince and the servant boy play together.
yet here soobin was in yeonjun’s room, playing with little wooden blocks. soobin’s apron lay crinkled in his lap and his chubby cheeks were still a little dirty from helping his mother in the gardens a while ago. his clothes were stained too, dirtying yeonjun’s pristine carpet. but yeonjun didn’t mind. he couldn’t care less if his mother would yell at him once she took a look at his room, or if his white shirt was stained from hugging soobin. all he could care about was his eight-year-old friend in front of him, playing with his blocks and trying to build another castle.
from the other side of the creation, yeonjun handed soobin a rectangular block for the gates, to which he mumbled a small thank you. his mother had told him that he should no longer be playing with blocks at nine years old, but yeonjun didn’t care much. he’d rather be playing blocks with soobin than reading whatever book his mother had set aside for him. yeonjun watched soobin’s eyes glitter with concentration as he tried to find a block to act as the watchtower but to no avail. rising from where he was sitting, yeonjun picked up a conical block and sat next to soobin, holding it right in front of his face. soobin’s face lit up in pure excitement, causing yeonjun’s features to mirror his smile.
“thank you hyung!” soobin exclaimed, placing the cone on top of a cylindrical one, finishing off his wooden castle. soobin leaned back into yeonjun and placed his head in the crook of his shoulder and sighed, admiring the culmination of the past two hours. yeonjun gently brushed his long bangs out of his face. he made a mental note to remind soobin’s mother to cut his hair. she was always too busy to do it, with the queen always adding to her to-do list.
yeonjun felt the pressure on his shoulder increase as soobin yawned. “are you tired? wanna sleep?”
soobin’s hair brushed against yeonjun’s chin as he shook his head. “can’t. ma needs me to help with the laundry in a bit.”
“you have to go?” yeonjun asked, turning to soobin with a deep frown. “can’t you stay a bit longer? i’ll help you with the laundry!”
soobin’s bunny smile revealed itself as he giggled. there were some things yeonjun didn’t understand as royalty that made up soobin’s reality. “you know you can’t, hyung. you’re a prince.”
“why can’t i do my own laundry?” yeonjun asked genuinely, eyebrows knitting together.
“your mother would kill my ma if she saw you doing laundry,” soobin laughed as he got up.
yeonjun sighed, giving up on pursuing his questions, and soobin was glad. there were some things that were better left unknown by yeonjun. if yeonjun had started acting different from how the queen had raised him, they would have suspected their friendship. and that would mean never being able to meet yeonjun, or stay in the castle, and then what would ma do? soobin was content with how things were now, where he knew his place and shooed yeonjun off to his own when he forgot.
as soon as soobin was on his feet, the ringing of a bell resounded throughout the castle. fixing his tiny apron, soobin sighed. “there it is, four o’ clock, i need to go.”
“you’ll be back later, right? once you’re done?” yeonjun pleaded, rising to his feet and placing a hand on soobin’s shoulder.
“of course i will! once ma says i can go!”
“promise?”
“promise.”
---
several years had passed them by, yet soobin and yeonjun had paid no attention to them.
“the roses are blooming so beautifully now,” soobin whispers, running his hands over the ruby petals.
yeonjun tucked a strand of soobin's hair behind his ears and whispered, “you’re even more beautiful."
soobin's cheeks were dusted a light shade of pink. his eyes darted downwards to hide his bashfulness, but to no avail. yeonjun had already seen his shy face, and giggled at how cute his love was. yeonjun took soobin’s hand in his as the boys waded through the garden under the cover of moonlight, their fingers interlaced.
muffled cheers and music wafted from the lit castle into the silent garden. there was a great feast to celebrate the visit of a royal family of a neighbouring kingdom. they were here to to establish a strong inter-kingdom relationship, and those plans probably involved yeonjun one way or another. but he hadn’t cared enough to listen. not when soobin was the only thing on his mind, and not when those bloody plans were the only thing keeping them apart.
seeing soobin’s angelic face illuminated by the moonlight made yeonjun’s heart flutter, the same way it had fluttered for the past 10 years (though yeonjun never got tired of the feeling). yeonjun pulled soobin closer and placed a kiss square on his plush lips. there they stood, lips and souls connected, letting both the wind and time pass them by.
that was until the bells beckoned for him.
yeonjun cursed them in his mind. he hated the bells. the queen had adapted to yeonjun’s habit of disappearing from the castle, using them to call yeonjun back whenever she needed him. those bells were always reminding yeonjun of the crown on his head and the burdens that came with it. most importantly, they always pulled yeonjun away from soobin, even more than the rules of castle did.
“hyung,” soobin muttered against yeonjun’s lips, “they’re calling you.”
yeonjun cupped the back of soobin’s neck in the palm of his hands and pulled him closer. “screw the bells.”
soobin let himself melt into the kiss, filled with guilt. he wished that they could do exactly that, but they hadn't been able to for their entire lives. and soobin knew better than to challenge the queen.
“you can’t do this." soobin nudged yeonjun's shoulder. "they’ll come out looking for you, and find us here like this. you wouldn’t want that, would you?”
yeonjun pouted as he took soobin’s hands. he didn't want soobin to be right, but he was. as always. distressed and disappointed, yeonjun ran his hands through his hair. “sometimes i just wish they would. then kick me out of the castle or something.”
soobin cast yeonjun a look that could kill, warning him of the true meaning of his words. yeonjun sighed as he got the horse ready. he helped soobin up before mounting it himself, sitting right behind him. with a steady flick of the reins, yeonjun sent the white stead bounding back to the castle. he placed his head on soobin’s shoulder, despite the bumpiness of the ride. soobin leaned back into his touch, as much as he could for someone being jostled on a horse. they stayed like that as the castle gates drew nearer and nearer, and ultimately appeared in its full glory before them. as the horse slowed down to a stop, yeonjun dismounted it before offering his hand to soobin.
“there’ll be a day,” yeonjun started, with fragility and love in his eyes, “when we’ll just be together, right? when we don’t have to do this?”
soobin wanted to burst into laughter and tears. he desperately wanted to say yes, take yeonjun's hand and promise him their dreams of a love as any other in the castle. instead, he took yeonjun’s hand, climbed down the horse, and placed a kiss on yeonjun’s cheek. "i hope so, hyung. i really do.”
even as soobin uttered those words, voice barely above a whisper, he knew he couldn't promise yeonjun anything. there had never been two kings in a kingdom, nor had there ever been a love between a crowned prince and his servant boy. soobin knew, with a pained heart, that as long as they both resided in the castle, yeonjun could not be his.
yeonjun’s polished boots clacked against the earth, collecting mud. he reached for the reins of the horse, but before he could take them, soobin stopped him, shaking his head. “i’ll take care of this. you go back in.”
yeonjun pouted, but released his grip on the reins. it had always bugged him how, no matter what, soobin always acted how he was supposed to, even when it was just the both of them. but of course, yeonjun knew why. he just wished they didn’t have to be this way. just as soobin turned on his heels towards the stables, yeonjun grabbed his free hand and looked deeply into his eyes.
“i love you.”
soobin’s face curled up in an assuring smile. “i love you too.”
---
"yeonjun, dearie, where have you been?” the queen says, fake worry lacing her eyebrows. “whatever, once you get fixed up, come into the great hall. there’s someone i want you to meet.”
the queen spun around and exited the room, waving her hand as a signal for the servants to help yeonjun. they started dusting the dirt off yeonjun, changed his boots into the pointy shoes he hated. his riding jacket was swapped for a ceremonial blazer and his breeches for trousers. yeonjun’s messy hair was styled to the side, taming it momentarily.
he really looked like a prince now, and he hated it.
as he stepped into the main hall, the eyes of all guests fell on him. he was the man everyone was waiting for. hushed whispers echoed throughout the hall as yeonjun made his way to where his mother was, with the other royal family standing next to her.
“ah yes, king gojong, this is my son, prince yeonjun,” the queen gushed, introducing yeonjun to the king of the neighbouring kingdom. king gojong, yeonjun thought, that kingdom, huh.
“and this is my daughter, princess deokhye,” king gojong said.
behind the king was a girl roughly yeonjun’s age, maybe a few years younger. out of respect, she curtseyed for yeonjun and the queen, and yeonjun bowed to return the favour.
"now that the both of them are here," the king chuckled, "i suppose we could tell them the good news."
yeonjun and deokhye shared the same look of confusion. why would they need to be here? all inter-kingdom related agreements were always discussed between the kings or queens. yeonjun hated it because he didn't care for expansion of the kingdom or the collecting of riches. deokhye hated it because listening to them made her want to say something, but they'd never allowed her the chance to. the two of them had been reduced to side pieces throughout their entire life, but this one statement hinted at an unknown change.
"to emphasise our loyalty to the kingdom of king gojong, as well as our commitment to harmony," the queen started off, smiling brightly while looking at the the two bewildered faces, "prince yeonjun and princess deokhye will be married next summer."
marriage?
yeonjun felt his chest cave in and his breathing felt heavy and restricted. marriage? with someone other than soobin? it couldn't be real? he would have known about it somehow? especially when it concerned pledging himself to a person for the rest of his life, even without love? he wasn’t even attracted to women? for goodness sake, he had just met her, and all he knew about her was her name. that’s barely enough for even a friendship. and soobin. he needed soobin.
the entire hall was celebrating, yet yeonjun's world was collapsing.
he looked up at the princess and saw her equally appalled face. swallowing the lump in his throat, yeonjun muttered an 'excuse me' before running out of the hall, ignoring the panicked calls of the queen behind him.
yeonjun ran, and just kept running, out through the doors of the castle and across the green field in front of it. tears were trickling down his face and his face felt numb. he ran until he reached the stables and busted the doors open. he stood in the doorway, panting, with his hair disheveled, boots muddy, and face wet.
soobin looked over innocently from feeding yeonjun’s horse, confused. but when he saw yeonjun's eyes glistening with pain, his own were laced with concern.
"what happened, love?" soobin said gently, setting the hay down and walking over to yeonjun.
yeonjun wasted no time in pulling soobin into a kiss by his white tunic. yeonjun's kisses were usually soft and filled with love, like sun-filled clouds and moon-lit gardens.
but this kiss had an edge. salty from yeonjun's tears, but now filled with passion. soobin thought it felt like breathing in a raging sea, with a siren singing his name. it felt like gravity had fallen in love with him and was giving him lover’s embrace. it was an intense call from his love, a delivery of all the pent up longing the two of them shared over a span of ten years, releasing itself until they pulled apart.
"they're marrying me off to princess deokhye."
soobin let out a choked gasp, a small cry of pain that only yeonjun understood. he glanced down at his feet, then into yeonjun’s pained eyes. he had no idea what to do. all soobin could do was take yeonjun's smaller hand in his and stroke his thumb over yeonjun's. silence in each other's company was all they needed to process the situation. and so in silence they stood, trying to wrap their heads around the situation, and if the prospect of a solution hung on the horizon.
soobin had always been the one to make sure yeonjun followed his duties as the prince, and the last thing he wanted to do was rob the kingdom of a great leader. and maybe it was foolish of them to every think an arranged marriage was never on the cards. for yeonjun was a prince, and these are the things the children of monarchies are subjected to.
even so, soobin couldn’t let yeonjun slip through his fingers, into a castle in a kingdom thousands of miles away. there was no escaping this situation if yeonjun walked back through those doors. the wedding would be arranged, and all their dreams would crumble in the name of inter-kingdom peace. but yeonjun and soobin knew that they deserved better than that. they deserved the happy ending that all king and queens before them received, so they had to create their own fairy tale. the one of two boys who finally, finally, get to love each other with all of their pure hearts.
"let's just run away."
yeonjun gasped and looked at soobin, mouth slightly agape and eyes widened. he searched soobin's eyes for any sense of a joke (though he hoped he wouldn't find it). instead, he found himself swimming in soobin's sincerity. it had shocked him that soobin proposed it, but he knew soobin wanted it as much as he did. he knew soobin had finally lost his patience, years after yeonjun had.
yeonjun glanced downwards at their clasped hands, then at soobin's face set with determination. his tongue darted out to swipe over his lips, before he nodded, sure of himself.
with a reassuring squeeze of yeonjun's hand, soobin whipped around to prepare the horse, leading it outside. he strapped the saddle back on and fixed the reins. yeonjun grabbed his emergency riding bag that he kept in the corner of the stable, full of supplies, before running out to join soobin.
soobin helped yeonjun helped up onto his horse, then swung his own legs over the saddle, sitting behind him. flicking the reins in his hand, soobin sent the horse bounding into the night. they rode past across the great field, through the barrier of trees surrounding the royal grounds.
feeling the evening breeze on his face, riding away from the castle, yeonjun leaned back and laid his head on soobin’s shoulder, imagining the laughter and confusion of the great hall fade away behind him. in the comforting silence, the both of them were registering the weight of what they were doing. they had no idea where they were going, or what they would do. all that they were aware of was that they needed to get away from what the kingdom had dictated for them. to love each other without hiding, and to spend the rest of their lives together. they were running away from the life they had always known into the arms of uncertainty, but at least they were running into the arms of each other. for now, and forever, they belonged together; yeonjun and soobin, as it had always been to them.
in the distance, yeonjun heard the bells started ringing, but he had already decided that the only thing that could call him back was the sound of his beloved’s voice.
---
a/n: heyhey!! this is my first full length fic on tumblr, i hoped ya’ll liked it :D please please send in an ask if you have any requests bc i’d be stoked to get some!! have a great day ya’ll filled with yeonbin muah <3
genre: angst/fluff, angst with a happy ending i promise, ex! yeonjun, ex! soobin, alcohol consumption, yeonbin are low-key highkey soulmates
pairing: choi yeonjun x choi soobin
word count: 1.2k
summary: in which yeonjun and soobin drink in the night and relish in its sorrows.
a/n: ok i SWEAR I can explain why I disappeared. also!! the fic that was requested a while back? I will be releasing it in due time, when I'm satisfied with it, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I let 3 days take 7 months. yikes. pls enjoy this comeback fic that’s a bit shorter than normal. and stream txt’s f2020 cover. happy new year guys!
somewhere in the night, yeonjun downs another beer.
he waves his hand to ask the bartender for another. his head spins just enough to keep the thoughts away. his finger strokes the stitches lining his wallet, ghosting the image he knows he guiltily keeps inside.
the clink of the glass against the bar countertop shakes him out of his daze. sighing, he picks the drink up and swallows it completely. the burn in his throat makes his eyes shut close. if he opened them, he knew he could see the booth at the corner of the bar.
if he opened them, he knew he could vaguely make out where they used to sit. he could trace soobin’s smile with his roughened fingers, could twirl their laughters around his palm. a smile ghosts yeonjun’s lips as he remembers the times where soobin would be wrapped in his arms, giggling as yeonjun made him try a new vodka he was sure he’d enjoy.
yeonjun grips another glass and finishes it (when had the glass gotten there? had he ordered another one in his drunken loneliness? maybe the bartender has recognised his pattern, or even his pain). it didn’t matter.
soobin was gone. soobin was gone.
--
somewhere in the night, soobin sips his vodka.
he twirls his phone in his large hands, looking at it like it was the hardest decision he had ever had to make. he sighs, before throwing it on his carpeted floor. it clinks against the empty bottle lying around.
soobin readjusts himself on his couch. he pops open another bottle, downing half of it until the burn in his throat is too much for him to handle. he was never much of a drinker, but this drink meant too much for him to forget its addicting taste.
soobin picks his phone up from the ground. he unlocks it. his keypad pops up, and it reminds him why he’d thrown it away in the first place. a blush rushes through his cheeks (though, he is unsure if it’s from the alcohol or the number he had dialed before). he so desperately wants to press that little green button, call the person whose voice he longs to hear.
but he knows he cannot. yeonjun is gone.
he closes the keypad and opens his instagram instead. in the little search box, he types the familiar handle (the one that had been tagged in all his posts and stories, the one he’d been typing quite often these days too).
sometimes he wondered why yeonjun hadn’t blocked him yet. sometimes he let himself hope that it was for the same reason he hadn’t either.
the ring around yeonjun’s profile photo glows pink. soobin taps on it, expecting photos of a night out with friends, or even a dinner with his family. he was even prepared to be disappointed by a picture of a date, at some restaurant nicer than any one they’d ever been to.
the picture loads. it’s of a single beer. at their bar.
soobin grabs his coat and runs out his door, running his fingers through his hair. he wants to say that it’s the alcohol taking over him, but he knows that it’s him shining through. it’s his heart that pushes him through the snow on the street and the ice on the roads, to the bar that still held their ghosts.
soobin gets there just before closing time, when the staff are clearing tables and stacking chairs. he sees yeonjun sitting alone through the glass doors, swirling a 7th cup of beer on a barstool. his hand reaches to swing open the doors. it hesitates, ghosting the cold metal.
was it worth it? soobin thinks. if he went in, poured his heart out to the boy who used to love him, and his heart had no remnants of soobin in it, would he be able to walk away?
soobin sighs, letting his hand rest on the cold handle. he was fully contemplating walking away, right now, and pretending nothing had ever happened. he was ready to spend his hangover convincing himself that he hadn’t gone to the bar, and that he hadn’t let yeonjun slip through his fingers like this.
and then yeonjun saw him.
yeonjun had slammed his empty cup back down on the table and tipped the bartender. he had already gotten up to leave. then he saw soobin through the glass doors.
yeonjun was fully contemplating walking away, right now, and pretending nothing had ever happened. he was prepared to convince himself that soobin was just here for a last minute beer, maybe even coming to get it for someone waiting for him in his apartment.
he was ready to pretend that he hadn’t let soobin through his fingers like this. but he wasn’t going to let himself do that. not tonight, not when soobin was here.
yeonjun yanks his coat on and swings the glass door open so fast that soobin stumbles backwards. yeonjun looks up at soobin, waiting for him to say something. soobin looks down at yeonjun, waiting for him to utter a word. but they both stand there, so unsure of the other that they don’t dare confess.
“soobin,” yeonjun starts, heart beating in his head, “why are you here?”
“what? i mean, i saw your instagram story, and i- well i- i mean i just wanted to-”
“soobin,” yeonjun stresses, “why are you here?”
beat. maybe he shouldn’t have asked that.
beat. maybe he should have walked away.
“i’m here for you.”
but, yeonjun thinks, maybe it’s good he did it anyway.
yeonjun cups soobin’s face in his palms like he was as fragile as the snowflakes falling around them. then he kisses him like he had never done before. he kisses him with the weight of a broken heart, with the sorrow of the alcohol in their systems, and the pain of knowing you love someone only when you lose them.
soobin caresses yeonjun’s back in an almost-hug, as if he can’t believe that this is real, and that yeonjun was here. that yeonjun had come out of the bar for him. that yeonjun had kissed him first. that yeonjun wasn’t gone anymore.
when yeonjun pulls away, soobin keeps his eyes closed for a bit longer, afraid that yeonjun would no longer be there if he did. yeonjun smiles and brushes his cold fingers over soobin’s shut eyelids. soobin’s eyes flutter open, and he smiles at yeonjun’s earnest face.
“i love you, choi soobin.”
soobin bends down to leave a peck on yeonjun’s temple, letting his lips linger over his cold skin for a heartbeat longer.
“i love you, choi yeonjun.”
somewhere in the night, soobin and yeonjun kiss once more in front of the bar they’d fallen in love in.
somewhere in the night, yeonjun goes back to soobin’s apartment and falls asleep in his arms.
somewhere in the night, two broken hearts earn themselves a happy ending.
genre: angst, unconventional format, yeonbin breaks up
pairing: choi soobin x reader
word count: 457
summary: soobin's goodbye letter.
song: the truth untold - bts
dear yeonjun,
your face has always been a masterpiece to me. sometimes i look at it and i feel whole. you look me in the eyes and time stops. everything seems like the minute before dawn breaks; i can feel the sunrise on the tip of my tongue when i feel the plush of your lips on mine.
but sometimes i look at your face and i am plunged into darkness i am not ready for. sometimes your eyes are colder than the nights you leave me crying in. sometimes i cannot tell which is more translucent: your gaze, or me.
i’d like to think we fell apart in a supernova.
the first of your gazes lit my skin on fire. you flung me into the beauty of the universe. your gaze ignited my soul like the sun and suddenly, i was the most precious entity in the cosmos. not even the sun’s rays and the stars intensity could rival to heat rising in my cheeks. we etched our names in the sky and put the stars to shame. ripped the universe off its hinges and waltzed in the aftermath.
then slowly, eventually, your fire stopped burning for me. eventually i found myself orbits away from your embrace. i can’t tell who dimmed first: your fiery gold gaze, or my small ivory flicker?
either way, brighter stars burned in your universe. i can’t blame you either. i was never the star you wish to see when you look to the night sky. i was barely a glisten. you needed bigger, brighter. you needed the beauty of the cosmos.
and i didn’t fit into that.
i don’t resent you. i will never be able to resent you. i want you to know that. your heart is not yours to control. it contains the width of space and time in it. i was never meant to be the only one to fill it.
i am content with loving you from afar. but you cannot blame me if, one day, some other cosmic being shall come and shed light on it. if i am letting you go, you must do the same for me.
i don’t blame you one bit, darling. i will say it once again. we both know this was bound to happen. for you are the sun, bright and all encompassing, filling every space you are put into. the brightest and most-loved star in the galaxy. and i am but a tiny speck lightyears away from your glory.
a dying clump of stardust will never know the warmth of the blazing sun. and i will never know the warmth of your love again.
in every way that matters, we are not meant to be.
Hey, just saw your txt drabbles post. Can you write a yeonbin drabble with literally any theme that is maybe not an au. Like the first thing that comes to your mind but preferably not angsty xD
Thank youuu
here u go ~~ hope u like it!!
"Do you think he knows?" Yeonjun asks Beomgyu as they munch on snacks in between practice. They both have been working extra hours to perfect their moves, their facial expressions for the upcoming performances- straightened fingertips, stable feet, a smile, a wink here and there for the fans.
Beomgyu shrugs, "I don't know," he takes a sip of water, flips his hair away from his eyes, "why don't you just tell him?"
It resembles a slap against his cheek- hearing those words. "Wait," Yeonjun squints his eyes, opens and closes his mouth before continuing, "you don't think this is lame? That it's a losing game?"
"Uhh," the boy stretches his sore muscles, mulls the answer in his mind for a bit, "-no? Why?"
And it comes as a surprise, Yeonjun wonders if Beomgyu even understands what this conversation is about, wonders if he should laugh it off, pretend it was never about -this-, still, "Pursuing a romantic relation with a member is a dive into the deep end."
Either Beomgyu's not interested enough, painfully tired or Yeonjun's too nervous about this topic, "Yeah," the younger shrugs once more, "if you refuse to talk about it, address it like adults- sure."
And it's stupid, it really is, but it fills Yeonjun with hope- that unstable, rooted in emotion rather than facts type of hope. The one that clogs his head with air, takes him somewhere high above the clouds where he becomes one with the sun.
"What if I did it today?" he says, and his breath gets caught up in his throat.
Beomgyu seems to notice the adrenaline that has taken over the latter, the wide eyes staring back at him, the recklessness of it all. He laughs, "I dare you."
That's the thing about the sun- it burns. Yeonjun can feel it in the place of his heart, "-shit," and then again, "shit, -shit- okay, okay." It hits him like a wall, a reality check, there is a chance this might work out, there is a chance he has been wrong all this time. The possibility sizzles addictive at the pit of his stomach. He can't say no to it. He's going to do it, he knows it. "But how?"
Now Beomgyu looks more woken up, excited at the turn of events, "Taehyun's at the studio, I can text Kai if he wants to get food with me."
It sounds like a plan, and Yeonjun's freaking out a little bit by now, "But what do I say? What if he hates the idea of it?"
Beomgyu already has his phone out, swiping the screen from the shade of pitch black to Yeonjun's ominous future, "Then you move on, laugh it off, tell him it was a dare."
Yeonjun thinks he might be losing vision, the nervousness lulling him into a state of disorientation. Then, Beomgyu's phone ding's and the boy's standing up from the floor, reaching for his hoodie. "You go, tiger, it's your time to shine!" Apparently, that's all that it takes in the younger's point of view.
Yeonjun uses his last piece of mind to stare the latter down, giving him his best unamused facial expression as the younger leaves him, waving goodbye with a glint in his eyes. It's now or never, huh?
It takes Yeonjun about fifteen minutes to gather courage, figure out, then absolutely forget what to say, how to go about this situation, to lock the practice room's door and head to their dorm.
When he walks inside their shared space- it's quiet. Yeonjun hopes Soobin hasn't gone to sleep, then hopes he has -hopes he has moved dorms, countries-, then rolls his eyes, tightens his own fist and reminds himself that it's going to be alright. Either way.
The knock on Soobin's door goes unheard, so the boy takes a breath and slides open the door, peeks inside. Soobin's in his bed, headphones on- those awfully big ones that require some kind of trained balance to keep them put-, he's in a pair of light blue pyjamas, staring at his computer screen. Then Yeonjun looks a bit more, looks closer and there are unshed tears in the boy's eyes. He must be watching dramas again.
Soobin whips his head to face the older, goes to wipe the tears away- embarrassed. "Did you want something?" Yeonjun remembers he should have taken a shower before coming here, changed out of his workout clothes but it's too late for that. He puts on his most teasing smile, enters the room.
"Crying again?" he says, but there's no bite to it, some might even say it comes out similar to adoration.
Soobin shuts the computer, takes off the headphones as Yeonjun climbs next to him in bed, "stop," he whines.
It makes the older laugh, a moment of peace before his nerves rush back to torture him. "Soobinie," he starts, and can't make himself look at the other, "I need to tell you something."
He feels the boy shift beside him. Soobin takes his hands in his, and they're wider than his, a bit cold to the touch, "Is something wrong?"
Maybe. "No," Yeonjun replies. "No, no, nothing's wrong, I just-", and his mind goes blank. There are a million things he could say right now, a million ways he could act, but everything's out of place- Yeonjun feels out of place. What if this ruins their friendship? What if the rejection stings in his heart so much it becomes distracting? What if he says - it was a dare! I can't believe you thought it was real!- and each word grips a piece of his soul out of him.
Soobin pulls them both down, takes Yeonjun by his shoulder and pushes him beneath the blankets, covers them both up until their shoulders, "It's alright, you can tell me," the younger boy says.
And suddenly they're face to face, and Soobin is wearing fondness all over his features. Yeonjun melts. He doesn't want this to be a dare, wants this to be real. Either way.
He half-whispers, voice going raspy, "Remember when we debuted, and then the next week you got so sick I thought you might just turn green?" Soobin nods. "I fell asleep by your bed three nights in a row- I was so worried."
"I- uh-" he pauses, "-and then a few months after that when you noticed I was draining myself, always at the practice room, you brought me water, stayed with me to make sure I wasn't being too harsh on myself," the older boy adds.
"I remember."
"Soobin, I think-," Yeonjun flexes his jaw, his gaze drops to where their bodies disappear under the blanket. Allowing himself to dream of becoming an idol was difficult, telling his parents about it was even more. Training, debuting, too, but - this... He bites his lip, "I think those were the first times I thought I might like you a bit more than a group member, a friend."
And then the clock ticks somewhere in a room next to theirs, the bed sheets rustle, Soobin's breath echoes in his mind, cars pass by the building, the lamp flickers, Yeonjun's heart beats is in his ears, and it's so loud in this silence, and, and-
Soobin pulls him closer, nearly strangles him against his own chest- Yeonjun's face uncomfortably rests against his neck. It's alright. The same hands- now three times warmer- are on his nape, holding him, petting his hair, brushing along the lines of his shoulders.
Yeonjun wants to laugh, he feels confused, bewildered, "What are you doing?", but Soobin shushes him. The strokes against his skin become heavier until finally, something feels odd, and Yeonjun frees himself, looks at the younger.
"Why are you crying?" he asks- scared of the answer- noting the hot tears streaming over the boy's cheeks.
Soobin shakes his head, then laughs, his lips reddened, eyes puffy. "I-", he tries to say, "I'm so happy you said that," and the sun inside Yeonjun's body shines brighter than before.
He goes to lightly hit the latter on the chest, "you scared me," but they're both laughing, and Soobin's pulling him back into his arms. "-shit, you scared me so bad," he says against the fabric of the blue pyjamas.
"I'm sorry," and Yeonjun can barely make out the words under all the sniffling, the dizziness. He feels Soobin plant a kiss on top of his head, goes limp. Wonders if anyone would notice if he slept in Soobin's bed from now on, figures he doesn't care, the others wouldn't either. It's alright.
I also posted this on my AO3
(its a bit angsty isnt it? T-T but .... its also cute, right?....)
summary: the prince and the servant boy know better than anyone that they belong together. they live in their little secrets, until something arrives to shake their world.
the royal family would never have let the prince and the servant boy play together.
yet here soobin was in yeonjun’s room, playing with little wooden blocks. soobin’s apron lay crinkled in his lap and his chubby cheeks were still a little dirty from helping his mother in the gardens a while ago. his clothes were stained too, dirtying yeonjun’s pristine carpet. but yeonjun didn’t mind. he couldn’t care less if his mother would yell at him once she took a look at his room, or if his white shirt was stained from hugging soobin. all he could care about was his eight-year-old friend in front of him, playing with his blocks and trying to build another castle.
from the other side of the creation, yeonjun handed soobin a rectangular block for the gates, to which he mumbled a small thank you. his mother had told him that he should no longer be playing with blocks at nine years old, but yeonjun didn’t care much. he’d rather be playing blocks with soobin than reading whatever book his mother had set aside for him. yeonjun watched soobin’s eyes glitter with concentration as he tried to find a block to act as the watchtower but to no avail. rising from where he was sitting, yeonjun picked up a conical block and sat next to soobin, holding it right in front of his face. soobin’s face lit up in pure excitement, causing yeonjun’s features to mirror his smile.
“thank you hyung!” soobin exclaimed, placing the cone on top of a cylindrical one, finishing off his wooden castle. soobin leaned back into yeonjun and placed his head in the crook of his shoulder and sighed, admiring the culmination of the past two hours. yeonjun gently brushed his long bangs out of his face. he made a mental note to remind soobin’s mother to cut his hair. she was always too busy to do it, with the queen always adding to her to-do list.
yeonjun felt the pressure on his shoulder increase as soobin yawned. “are you tired? wanna sleep?”
soobin’s hair brushed against yeonjun’s chin as he shook his head. “can’t. ma needs me to help with the laundry in a bit.”
“you have to go?” yeonjun asked, turning to soobin with a deep frown. “can’t you stay a bit longer? i’ll help you with the laundry!”
soobin’s bunny smile revealed itself as he giggled. there were some things yeonjun didn’t understand as royalty that made up soobin’s reality. “you know you can’t, hyung. you’re a prince.”
“why can’t i do my own laundry?” yeonjun asked genuinely, eyebrows knitting together.
“your mother would kill my ma if she saw you doing laundry,” soobin laughed as he got up.
yeonjun sighed, giving up on pursuing his questions, and soobin was glad. there were some things that were better left unknown by yeonjun. if yeonjun had started acting different from how the queen had raised him, they would have suspected their friendship. and that would mean never being able to meet yeonjun, or stay in the castle, and then what would ma do? soobin was content with how things were now, where he knew his place and shooed yeonjun off to his own when he forgot.
as soon as soobin was on his feet, the ringing of a bell resounded throughout the castle. fixing his tiny apron, soobin sighed. “there it is, four o’ clock, i need to go.”
“you’ll be back later, right? once you’re done?” yeonjun pleaded, rising to his feet and placing a hand on soobin’s shoulder.
“of course i will! once ma says i can go!”
“promise?”
“promise.”
---
several years had passed them by, yet soobin and yeonjun had paid no attention to them.
“the roses are blooming so beautifully now,” soobin whispers, running his hands over the ruby petals.
yeonjun tucked a strand of soobin's hair behind his ears and whispered, “you’re even more beautiful."
soobin's cheeks were dusted a light shade of pink. his eyes darted downwards to hide his bashfulness, but to no avail. yeonjun had already seen his shy face, and giggled at how cute his love was. yeonjun took soobin’s hand in his as the boys waded through the garden under the cover of moonlight, their fingers interlaced.
muffled cheers and music wafted from the lit castle into the silent garden. there was a great feast to celebrate the visit of a royal family of a neighbouring kingdom. they were here to to establish a strong inter-kingdom relationship, and those plans probably involved yeonjun one way or another. but he hadn’t cared enough to listen. not when soobin was the only thing on his mind, and not when those bloody plans were the only thing keeping them apart.
seeing soobin’s angelic face illuminated by the moonlight made yeonjun’s heart flutter, the same way it had fluttered for the past 10 years (though yeonjun never got tired of the feeling). yeonjun pulled soobin closer and placed a kiss square on his plush lips. there they stood, lips and souls connected, letting both the wind and time pass them by.
that was until the bells beckoned for him.
yeonjun cursed them in his mind. he hated the bells. the queen had adapted to yeonjun’s habit of disappearing from the castle, using them to call yeonjun back whenever she needed him. those bells were always reminding yeonjun of the crown on his head and the burdens that came with it. most importantly, they always pulled yeonjun away from soobin, even more than the rules of castle did.
“hyung,” soobin muttered against yeonjun’s lips, “they’re calling you.”
yeonjun cupped the back of soobin’s neck in the palm of his hands and pulled him closer. “screw the bells.”
soobin let himself melt into the kiss, filled with guilt. he wished that they could do exactly that, but they hadn't been able to for their entire lives. and soobin knew better than to challenge the queen.
“you can’t do this." soobin nudged yeonjun's shoulder. "they’ll come out looking for you, and find us here like this. you wouldn’t want that, would you?”
yeonjun pouted as he took soobin’s hands. he didn't want soobin to be right, but he was. as always. distressed and disappointed, yeonjun ran his hands through his hair. “sometimes i just wish they would. then kick me out of the castle or something.”
soobin cast yeonjun a look that could kill, warning him of the true meaning of his words. yeonjun sighed as he got the horse ready. he helped soobin up before mounting it himself, sitting right behind him. with a steady flick of the reins, yeonjun sent the white stead bounding back to the castle. he placed his head on soobin’s shoulder, despite the bumpiness of the ride. soobin leaned back into his touch, as much as he could for someone being jostled on a horse. they stayed like that as the castle gates drew nearer and nearer, and ultimately appeared in its full glory before them. as the horse slowed down to a stop, yeonjun dismounted it before offering his hand to soobin.
“there’ll be a day,” yeonjun started, with fragility and love in his eyes, “when we’ll just be together, right? when we don’t have to do this?”
soobin wanted to burst into laughter and tears. he desperately wanted to say yes, take yeonjun's hand and promise him their dreams of a love as any other in the castle. instead, he took yeonjun’s hand, climbed down the horse, and placed a kiss on yeonjun’s cheek. "i hope so, hyung. i really do.”
even as soobin uttered those words, voice barely above a whisper, he knew he couldn't promise yeonjun anything. there had never been two kings in a kingdom, nor had there ever been a love between a crowned prince and his servant boy. soobin knew, with a pained heart, that as long as they both resided in the castle, yeonjun could not be his.
yeonjun’s polished boots clacked against the earth, collecting mud. he reached for the reins of the horse, but before he could take them, soobin stopped him, shaking his head. “i’ll take care of this. you go back in.”
yeonjun pouted, but released his grip on the reins. it had always bugged him how, no matter what, soobin always acted how he was supposed to, even when it was just the both of them. but of course, yeonjun knew why. he just wished they didn’t have to be this way. just as soobin turned on his heels towards the stables, yeonjun grabbed his free hand and looked deeply into his eyes.
“i love you.”
soobin’s face curled up in an assuring smile. “i love you too.”
---
"yeonjun, dearie, where have you been?” the queen says, fake worry lacing her eyebrows. “whatever, once you get fixed up, come into the great hall. there’s someone i want you to meet.”
the queen spun around and exited the room, waving her hand as a signal for the servants to help yeonjun. they started dusting the dirt off yeonjun, changed his boots into the pointy shoes he hated. his riding jacket was swapped for a ceremonial blazer and his breeches for trousers. yeonjun’s messy hair was styled to the side, taming it momentarily.
he really looked like a prince now, and he hated it.
as he stepped into the main hall, the eyes of all guests fell on him. he was the man everyone was waiting for. hushed whispers echoed throughout the hall as yeonjun made his way to where his mother was, with the other royal family standing next to her.
“ah yes, king gojong, this is my son, prince yeonjun,” the queen gushed, introducing yeonjun to the king of the neighbouring kingdom. king gojong, yeonjun thought, that kingdom, huh.
“and this is my daughter, princess deokhye,” king gojong said.
behind the king was a girl roughly yeonjun’s age, maybe a few years younger. out of respect, she curtseyed for yeonjun and the queen, and yeonjun bowed to return the favour.
"now that the both of them are here," the king chuckled, "i suppose we could tell them the good news."
yeonjun and deokhye shared the same look of confusion. why would they need to be here? all inter-kingdom related agreements were always discussed between the kings or queens. yeonjun hated it because he didn't care for expansion of the kingdom or the collecting of riches. deokhye hated it because listening to them made her want to say something, but they'd never allowed her the chance to. the two of them had been reduced to side pieces throughout their entire life, but this one statement hinted at an unknown change.
"to emphasise our loyalty to the kingdom of king gojong, as well as our commitment to harmony," the queen started off, smiling brightly while looking at the the two bewildered faces, "prince yeonjun and princess deokhye will be married next summer."
marriage?
yeonjun felt his chest cave in and his breathing felt heavy and restricted. marriage? with someone other than soobin? it couldn't be real? he would have known about it somehow? especially when it concerned pledging himself to a person for the rest of his life, even without love? he wasn’t even attracted to women? for goodness sake, he had just met her, and all he knew about her was her name. that’s barely enough for even a friendship. and soobin. he needed soobin.
the entire hall was celebrating, yet yeonjun's world was collapsing.
he looked up at the princess and saw her equally appalled face. swallowing the lump in his throat, yeonjun muttered an 'excuse me' before running out of the hall, ignoring the panicked calls of the queen behind him.
yeonjun ran, and just kept running, out through the doors of the castle and across the green field in front of it. tears were trickling down his face and his face felt numb. he ran until he reached the stables and busted the doors open. he stood in the doorway, panting, with his hair disheveled, boots muddy, and face wet.
soobin looked over innocently from feeding yeonjun’s horse, confused. but when he saw yeonjun's eyes glistening with pain, his own were laced with concern.
"what happened, love?" soobin said gently, setting the hay down and walking over to yeonjun.
yeonjun wasted no time in pulling soobin into a kiss by his white tunic. yeonjun's kisses were usually soft and filled with love, like sun-filled clouds and moon-lit gardens.
but this kiss had an edge. salty from yeonjun's tears, but now filled with passion. soobin thought it felt like breathing in a raging sea, with a siren singing his name. it felt like gravity had fallen in love with him and was giving him lover’s embrace. it was an intense call from his love, a delivery of all the pent up longing the two of them shared over a span of ten years, releasing itself until they pulled apart.
"they're marrying me off to princess deokhye."
soobin let out a choked gasp, a small cry of pain that only yeonjun understood. he glanced down at his feet, then into yeonjun’s pained eyes. he had no idea what to do. all soobin could do was take yeonjun's smaller hand in his and stroke his thumb over yeonjun's. silence in each other's company was all they needed to process the situation. and so in silence they stood, trying to wrap their heads around the situation, and if the prospect of a solution hung on the horizon.
soobin had always been the one to make sure yeonjun followed his duties as the prince, and the last thing he wanted to do was rob the kingdom of a great leader. and maybe it was foolish of them to every think an arranged marriage was never on the cards. for yeonjun was a prince, and these are the things the children of monarchies are subjected to.
even so, soobin couldn’t let yeonjun slip through his fingers, into a castle in a kingdom thousands of miles away. there was no escaping this situation if yeonjun walked back through those doors. the wedding would be arranged, and all their dreams would crumble in the name of inter-kingdom peace. but yeonjun and soobin knew that they deserved better than that. they deserved the happy ending that all king and queens before them received, so they had to create their own fairy tale. the one of two boys who finally, finally, get to love each other with all of their pure hearts.
"let's just run away."
yeonjun gasped and looked at soobin, mouth slightly agape and eyes widened. he searched soobin's eyes for any sense of a joke (though he hoped he wouldn't find it). instead, he found himself swimming in soobin's sincerity. it had shocked him that soobin proposed it, but he knew soobin wanted it as much as he did. he knew soobin had finally lost his patience, years after yeonjun had.
yeonjun glanced downwards at their clasped hands, then at soobin's face set with determination. his tongue darted out to swipe over his lips, before he nodded, sure of himself.
with a reassuring squeeze of yeonjun's hand, soobin whipped around to prepare the horse, leading it outside. he strapped the saddle back on and fixed the reins. yeonjun grabbed his emergency riding bag that he kept in the corner of the stable, full of supplies, before running out to join soobin.
soobin helped yeonjun helped up onto his horse, then swung his own legs over the saddle, sitting behind him. flicking the reins in his hand, soobin sent the horse bounding into the night. they rode past across the great field, through the barrier of trees surrounding the royal grounds.
feeling the evening breeze on his face, riding away from the castle, yeonjun leaned back and laid his head on soobin’s shoulder, imagining the laughter and confusion of the great hall fade away behind him. in the comforting silence, the both of them were registering the weight of what they were doing. they had no idea where they were going, or what they would do. all that they were aware of was that they needed to get away from what the kingdom had dictated for them. to love each other without hiding, and to spend the rest of their lives together. they were running away from the life they had always known into the arms of uncertainty, but at least they were running into the arms of each other. for now, and forever, they belonged together; yeonjun and soobin, as it had always been to them.
in the distance, yeonjun heard the bells started ringing, but he had already decided that the only thing that could call him back was the sound of his beloved’s voice.
---
a/n: heyhey!! this is my first full length fic on tumblr, i hoped ya’ll liked it :D please please send in an ask if you have any requests bc i’d be stoked to get some!! have a great day ya’ll filled with yeonbin muah <3
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Choi Soobin , Kang Taehyun/Choi Beomgyu , Kang Taehyun/Choi Soobin
Status: Ongoing
Chapters: 1 (4.899 words) / ?
Summary:
Soobin was in a cocoon and didn't care to emerge as a butterfly, didn't do well with change, so he lived his adventures through others'- found in between hard and paperback covers. Yeonjun carried plastic rhinestones in his pencil case, kissed his best friend to sleep and wrote essays that mocked everything Soobin had ever loved. They didn't get along. But neither did "life" and "unscarred" on the opposite sides of the same equal sign, yet it was a battle known by the both of them- tries of balancing it out.
One's secret became the other's, and then it was unstoppable, crashing both worlds together with attempts of not saying too much, pulling back and forth. Still, one can only regret what they never chose to do, and Soobin got to learn it with his own heart at the line.
