Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Choi Soobin , Kang Taehyun/Choi Beomgyu
Status: Finished (77k)
Tags: angst, fluff, bed sharing, college, and they were roommates, slow burn
READ ON AO3
Summary:
Soobin was in a cocoon and didn't care to emerge as a butterfly, didn't do well with change, so he lived his adventures through theories and formulas- found in between hard and paperback covers. Yeonjun carried plastic rhinestones in his pencil case, kissed his best friend to sleep and wrote essays that mocked everything Soobin had ever loved. They didn't get along. But neither did "life" and "unscarred" on the opposite sides of the same equal sign, yet it was a battle known by both of them- tries of balancing it out.
One's secret became the other's tragedy, and then it was unstoppable, crashing both worlds together with attempts of not saying too much, pulling back and forth. Still, one can only regret what they never chose to do, and Soobin got to learn it with his own heart at the line.
~
A story of toxic lifestyles and whatever heals them.
genre: angst/fluff, angst with a happy ending i promise, ex! yeonjun, ex! soobin, alcohol consumption, yeonbin are low-key highkey soulmates
pairing: choi yeonjun x choi soobin
word count: 1.2k
summary: in which yeonjun and soobin drink in the night and relish in its sorrows.
a/n: ok i SWEAR I can explain why I disappeared. also!! the fic that was requested a while back? I will be releasing it in due time, when I'm satisfied with it, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I let 3 days take 7 months. yikes. pls enjoy this comeback fic that’s a bit shorter than normal. and stream txt’s f2020 cover. happy new year guys!
somewhere in the night, yeonjun downs another beer.
he waves his hand to ask the bartender for another. his head spins just enough to keep the thoughts away. his finger strokes the stitches lining his wallet, ghosting the image he knows he guiltily keeps inside.
the clink of the glass against the bar countertop shakes him out of his daze. sighing, he picks the drink up and swallows it completely. the burn in his throat makes his eyes shut close. if he opened them, he knew he could see the booth at the corner of the bar.
if he opened them, he knew he could vaguely make out where they used to sit. he could trace soobin’s smile with his roughened fingers, could twirl their laughters around his palm. a smile ghosts yeonjun’s lips as he remembers the times where soobin would be wrapped in his arms, giggling as yeonjun made him try a new vodka he was sure he’d enjoy.
yeonjun grips another glass and finishes it (when had the glass gotten there? had he ordered another one in his drunken loneliness? maybe the bartender has recognised his pattern, or even his pain). it didn’t matter.
soobin was gone. soobin was gone.
--
somewhere in the night, soobin sips his vodka.
he twirls his phone in his large hands, looking at it like it was the hardest decision he had ever had to make. he sighs, before throwing it on his carpeted floor. it clinks against the empty bottle lying around.
soobin readjusts himself on his couch. he pops open another bottle, downing half of it until the burn in his throat is too much for him to handle. he was never much of a drinker, but this drink meant too much for him to forget its addicting taste.
soobin picks his phone up from the ground. he unlocks it. his keypad pops up, and it reminds him why he’d thrown it away in the first place. a blush rushes through his cheeks (though, he is unsure if it’s from the alcohol or the number he had dialed before). he so desperately wants to press that little green button, call the person whose voice he longs to hear.
but he knows he cannot. yeonjun is gone.
he closes the keypad and opens his instagram instead. in the little search box, he types the familiar handle (the one that had been tagged in all his posts and stories, the one he’d been typing quite often these days too).
sometimes he wondered why yeonjun hadn’t blocked him yet. sometimes he let himself hope that it was for the same reason he hadn’t either.
the ring around yeonjun’s profile photo glows pink. soobin taps on it, expecting photos of a night out with friends, or even a dinner with his family. he was even prepared to be disappointed by a picture of a date, at some restaurant nicer than any one they’d ever been to.
the picture loads. it’s of a single beer. at their bar.
soobin grabs his coat and runs out his door, running his fingers through his hair. he wants to say that it’s the alcohol taking over him, but he knows that it’s him shining through. it’s his heart that pushes him through the snow on the street and the ice on the roads, to the bar that still held their ghosts.
soobin gets there just before closing time, when the staff are clearing tables and stacking chairs. he sees yeonjun sitting alone through the glass doors, swirling a 7th cup of beer on a barstool. his hand reaches to swing open the doors. it hesitates, ghosting the cold metal.
was it worth it? soobin thinks. if he went in, poured his heart out to the boy who used to love him, and his heart had no remnants of soobin in it, would he be able to walk away?
soobin sighs, letting his hand rest on the cold handle. he was fully contemplating walking away, right now, and pretending nothing had ever happened. he was ready to spend his hangover convincing himself that he hadn’t gone to the bar, and that he hadn’t let yeonjun slip through his fingers like this.
and then yeonjun saw him.
yeonjun had slammed his empty cup back down on the table and tipped the bartender. he had already gotten up to leave. then he saw soobin through the glass doors.
yeonjun was fully contemplating walking away, right now, and pretending nothing had ever happened. he was prepared to convince himself that soobin was just here for a last minute beer, maybe even coming to get it for someone waiting for him in his apartment.
he was ready to pretend that he hadn’t let soobin through his fingers like this. but he wasn’t going to let himself do that. not tonight, not when soobin was here.
yeonjun yanks his coat on and swings the glass door open so fast that soobin stumbles backwards. yeonjun looks up at soobin, waiting for him to say something. soobin looks down at yeonjun, waiting for him to utter a word. but they both stand there, so unsure of the other that they don’t dare confess.
“soobin,” yeonjun starts, heart beating in his head, “why are you here?”
“what? i mean, i saw your instagram story, and i- well i- i mean i just wanted to-”
“soobin,” yeonjun stresses, “why are you here?”
beat. maybe he shouldn’t have asked that.
beat. maybe he should have walked away.
“i’m here for you.”
but, yeonjun thinks, maybe it’s good he did it anyway.
yeonjun cups soobin’s face in his palms like he was as fragile as the snowflakes falling around them. then he kisses him like he had never done before. he kisses him with the weight of a broken heart, with the sorrow of the alcohol in their systems, and the pain of knowing you love someone only when you lose them.
soobin caresses yeonjun’s back in an almost-hug, as if he can’t believe that this is real, and that yeonjun was here. that yeonjun had come out of the bar for him. that yeonjun had kissed him first. that yeonjun wasn’t gone anymore.
when yeonjun pulls away, soobin keeps his eyes closed for a bit longer, afraid that yeonjun would no longer be there if he did. yeonjun smiles and brushes his cold fingers over soobin’s shut eyelids. soobin’s eyes flutter open, and he smiles at yeonjun’s earnest face.
“i love you, choi soobin.”
soobin bends down to leave a peck on yeonjun’s temple, letting his lips linger over his cold skin for a heartbeat longer.
“i love you, choi yeonjun.”
somewhere in the night, soobin and yeonjun kiss once more in front of the bar they’d fallen in love in.
somewhere in the night, yeonjun goes back to soobin’s apartment and falls asleep in his arms.
somewhere in the night, two broken hearts earn themselves a happy ending.
THE 4th CHAPTER IS UP!
I’m so sorry I can’t provide a link, idk why it doesn’t appear on tags if I do it ;_;
but you can find this on both AO3 and Wattpad, fic and author name is the same on both websites! sorry again and thank you <3
Author: yoonki_boonki
Rating: Mature
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Status: On going
Chapters: 4 /? ( 23722 words)
Tags: Angst, Nightmares, Strong Language, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drinking, Fluff, Pining, soobin needs to get his shit together, ill add triggers before each chapter, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Students, Depression, Healing, slowburn, Falling In Love, side taegyu, everything is a bit different than it seems
Summary:
In the morning sun, he glistered like a mirage, driving him insane.
In the afternoons, he turned warm and tangible,
but during the night his embrace was hot, burning the untouched.
Now Soobin was left wondering
if by the time the morning came back around and everything became clear,
he'd turn into that mirage again.
or
A story about a hushed reality and vivid delusions.
genre: angst, unconventional format, yeonbin breaks up
pairing: choi soobin x reader
word count: 457
summary: soobin's goodbye letter.
song: the truth untold - bts
dear yeonjun,
your face has always been a masterpiece to me. sometimes i look at it and i feel whole. you look me in the eyes and time stops. everything seems like the minute before dawn breaks; i can feel the sunrise on the tip of my tongue when i feel the plush of your lips on mine.
but sometimes i look at your face and i am plunged into darkness i am not ready for. sometimes your eyes are colder than the nights you leave me crying in. sometimes i cannot tell which is more translucent: your gaze, or me.
i’d like to think we fell apart in a supernova.
the first of your gazes lit my skin on fire. you flung me into the beauty of the universe. your gaze ignited my soul like the sun and suddenly, i was the most precious entity in the cosmos. not even the sun’s rays and the stars intensity could rival to heat rising in my cheeks. we etched our names in the sky and put the stars to shame. ripped the universe off its hinges and waltzed in the aftermath.
then slowly, eventually, your fire stopped burning for me. eventually i found myself orbits away from your embrace. i can’t tell who dimmed first: your fiery gold gaze, or my small ivory flicker?
either way, brighter stars burned in your universe. i can’t blame you either. i was never the star you wish to see when you look to the night sky. i was barely a glisten. you needed bigger, brighter. you needed the beauty of the cosmos.
and i didn’t fit into that.
i don’t resent you. i will never be able to resent you. i want you to know that. your heart is not yours to control. it contains the width of space and time in it. i was never meant to be the only one to fill it.
i am content with loving you from afar. but you cannot blame me if, one day, some other cosmic being shall come and shed light on it. if i am letting you go, you must do the same for me.
i don’t blame you one bit, darling. i will say it once again. we both know this was bound to happen. for you are the sun, bright and all encompassing, filling every space you are put into. the brightest and most-loved star in the galaxy. and i am but a tiny speck lightyears away from your glory.
a dying clump of stardust will never know the warmth of the blazing sun. and i will never know the warmth of your love again.
in every way that matters, we are not meant to be.
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Choi Soobin , Kang Taehyun/Choi Beomgyu , Kang Taehyun/Choi Soobin
Status: Ongoing
Chapters: 1 (4.899 words) / ?
Summary:
Soobin was in a cocoon and didn't care to emerge as a butterfly, didn't do well with change, so he lived his adventures through others'- found in between hard and paperback covers. Yeonjun carried plastic rhinestones in his pencil case, kissed his best friend to sleep and wrote essays that mocked everything Soobin had ever loved. They didn't get along. But neither did "life" and "unscarred" on the opposite sides of the same equal sign, yet it was a battle known by the both of them- tries of balancing it out.
One's secret became the other's, and then it was unstoppable, crashing both worlds together with attempts of not saying too much, pulling back and forth. Still, one can only regret what they never chose to do, and Soobin got to learn it with his own heart at the line.
Summary:
In the morning sun, he glistened like a mirage, driving him insane.
In the afternoons, he turned warm and tangible, but during the night his embrace was hot, burning the untouched.
Now Soobin was left wondering if by the time the morning came back around and everything became clear, he'd turn into that mirage again.
A story about a hushed reality and vivid delusions.
AO3 and wattpadd too but i cant give a link to that bc tumblr sucks a bit
Relationships: Choi Yeonjun/Choi Soobin , Kang Taehyun/Choi Beomgyu , Kang Taehyun/Choi Soobin
Status: Ongoing
Chapters: 2 (9.892 words) / ?
Summary:
Soobin was in a cocoon and didn't care to emerge as a butterfly, didn't do well with change, so he lived his adventures through others'- found in between hard and paperback covers. Yeonjun carried plastic rhinestones in his pencil case, kissed his best friend to sleep and wrote essays that mocked everything Soobin had ever loved. They didn't get along. But neither did "life" and "unscarred" on the opposite sides of the same equal sign, yet it was a battle known by the both of them- tries of balancing it out.
One's secret became the other's, and then it was unstoppable, crashing both worlds together with attempts of not saying too much, pulling back and forth. Still, one can only regret what they never chose to do, and Soobin got to learn it with his own heart at the line.
THE 12TH CHAPTER IS UP! you can find this on both AO3 and Wattpad (i cant provide a link for wattpad or else this doesnt show up on searches so please forgive me but u can search it up by using the title and my authors name!)
