PRACTISE ROOM, DEBUT BOOTCAMP — [ SOMETIME IN DECEMBER ‘22 ]
Teddy and BANG YOHAN practise together …
Over the past few months, Teddy had been working on himself. Sure, things had been a little... all over the place when it came to personal matters, but his distractions had surely come to an end. Healing from certain things took precedence over all other distractions, and really Teddy hadn’t even tried to work on healing that part of him that had suffered injury after injury over the end of the fall, and beginning of winter. Things were still raw, but he’d made the decision to finally put his own personal growth first, because Teddy knew he needed to really work on himself. Yet, part of that growth was purely driven by the knowledge that it would help with his performance, and his confidence when it came to things that weren’t just bright and playful. He needed to be able to perform cool, or sexy songs.
“Yohan... do you think I’ve gotten better at... being cool? I’ve been trying really hard but I’m not sure if I still look... stupid, or not.” He’d been feeling a little more of that much needed assurance in himself, ever since he’d sworn off the distractions of previous months; Yohan being one of them. Thankfully, that had been as short lived as many of his previous ‘crushes’, apart from one, which still sent twinges of pain shooting through him. He wasn’t yet over him, not really. “I know I need to believe in myself, but it’s hard to judge, y’know?”
With so much to work on, from his confidence in his ability to be cool and sexy, to his anxiety about performing on stage. That was something he’d been reading up on a lot recently, and talking to his therapist about. There wasn’t long left before the showcase, and knowing who was coming had sent bolts of terror through Teddy, and yet another part of him was excited. He liked to believe that was the main part of him, not the anxiety that ruined everything.