The Night Before Enlistment ~ Kim Youngbin
“You’re not crying, are you Youngbin?”
His hands quickly wiped underneath his eyes before turning away from the car window and across to where you sat behind the wheel. His cheeks were dark, eyes watery as he took several shaky breaths before shaking his head back across at you.
His composure was long gone, struggling to believe that he had said his final goodbyes to several members of his family before he had to enlist. Around his parents, he had held it together, but now that they were gone, the nerves were creeping in.
“It feels a little real now,” he hummed, waiting until he was composed before speaking to you. “I thought my mum was going to start crying when we said goodbye, I’ve not seen her that quiet around me for a long time.”
You smiled weakly back across to him, “I’m impressed that you didn’t start crying, I thought you were going to go when your dad handed you that care package to take with you.”
Your car boot was loaded up with items not just for Youngbin, but for you too. His parents had bought you plenty of things so that you were well taken care of without Youngbin by your side, with several bags of food being the highlight for you to enjoy.
“I was close,” Youngbin gently laughed, keeping his eyes on you as you stared forwards, “as we left, my sister whispered into my ear that she’d make sure that you were looked after.”
“Did she?” You grinned, touched by her gesture. The two of you had always been close, which Youngbin adored, with her constantly showing up to spend time with you, forgetting Youngbin.
“I might lose you when I discharge, not only are my family willing to help you out, but all of the boys have also offered to check in on you every single day too, not to mention your family organising trips out too,” Youngbin proudly smiled, glad that you had the support.
You too were confident that you’d be just fine with Youngbin, even if none of your helpers could replace the role that he had in your life. “They very kindly told me that I could stay in your room at the dorm, despite me telling them that you’d already told me that I could stay.”
“I dread to think how that dorm will look whilst I’m gone,” he sniggered, glancing back out of the window again, “I’m relying on you to keep those boys in check, you’re the honourable sidekick beside Jaeyoon when it comes to the dorm.
As much as you were going to rely on the boys with Youngbin gone, they were always relying on you too. You took almost as much care of them as you did Youngbin, filling in the gaps that Youngbin left when leading the boys.
As you continued to drive, you could hear a shaky sigh come from behind you as Youngbin began to think again in the silence. “Talk to me Bin, tell me what you’re wondering.”
Truthfully, even Youngbin wasn’t too sure what exactly he was thinking about. There were thousands of thoughts filling his mind, from the group, family, enlistment, friends, changes, not to mention plenty about you too.
“I know that you’re nervous, no matter how strong you might want to seem around me,” you commented, trying your best to get Youngbin to look across to you again.
Slowly his head turned as he felt your hand reach across and rest against the top of his leg. “Saying goodbye always felt like the moment when enlistment would feel real, and now it’s happening, and worst of all tomorrow I have to say goodbye to you.”
“It’s not goodbye, it’s more of a see you later,” you tried to encourage, feeling Youngbin’s hand rest down over yours, “we’re not being separated from one another forever.”
Even though it was only a year and a bit, it sure felt like a long time for Youngbin. You’d been separated before thanks to his tours, but at least then you could still talk when you wanted to, without having to be controlled.
“I know that you’re going to be just fine too, but there’s still a small part of me that’s fretting,” Youngbin then added, feeling his voice falter once again, “you can look after yourself, but I prefer to be the one that’s looking after you instead.”
“You can still look after me from afar,” you tried to comfort him, “I mean you’ve left enough of your shirts lying around the house for me to wear when I want.”
Youngbin’s eyes went wide at your bold comment, “you mean to say that you keep taking them out of my suitcase when you think that I’m not paying attention, hiding them from me and keeping them for yourself? Did you think that I wouldn’t realise how the number of shirts in my bag decreases every time that I open it?”
“I kind of hoped you would just think that you were going crazy,” you shyly admitted.
Youngbin’s head shook at the innocent expression that was on your face, “I guess seeing as you find so much comfort in my shirts, it would be rude of me to take them away.”
Straight away your head nodded back at Youngbin, “you’re going to get given all of your military tops anyway to where, there’s no point taking all of the ones in your wardrobe when they’ll stay in your case. Instead, I should have them because I’ll make use of all of them.”
A wry smile crept onto Youngbin’s face, “I’m finding it increasingly difficult to argue with your logic, how long have you thought about making that point?”
“Not too long,” you laughed, flickering your eyes between the road and Youngbin, “it wasn’t even me that came up with it, your brother was helping me come up with excuses so that I could make sure that I got everything that I wanted from you before you enlist.”
“I should have known that he’d help you out, he’s got too many stories from his own enlistment,” Youngbin scoffed.
“I quite like how helpful he’s been,” you argued, continuing to widen the smile that was on Youngbin’s face, “without him I wouldn’t have also been able to hide your shower gel so that you have no choice but to take mine with you.”
Youngbin couldn’t believe what he was hearing as yet another mystery that he’d been experiencing had been solved right under his nose.
“I’ve got plenty of little bits of yours to remind me of you whilst you’re gone now,” you encouraged, continuing to laugh to yourself, “it’ll be like you’re still with me.”
“You won’t have time to miss me using my shirts and shower gel,” Youngbin joked.
“There’s a few things that they won’t be able to give me.”
“I know you’ll miss me during those times.”
“Of course,” you grinned, feeling your cheeks darken slightly, “but I know that there will be a time when you come home, I can look forward to that.”
Youngbin nodded in agreement with you, “I’ll make sure to work hard and get home to you as soon as possible, it’ll be like I’ve never even been away.”
“You’ll smash it, like you always do.”
