❛ DESPERATION ❜ 𓋰 김영균
❪ 紳士 ❫ suggestive est. rs husband!hwiyoung x f!reader 2236 cw ノ hwiyoung is shirtless, suggestive...... lots of kissing, they're a little freaky for each other, focus on hwiyoung's back tattoo and reader being very in love with it and him <3 (im delusional), not proofread 〃 ♡ ⸝⸝⸝ it's time for the great return of hwiyoung week @lexeees we will be unstoppable ... i fear i can never be normal about this man im soooo sorry hes just too sexy and i unfortunately have free will and a fanfic blog 🫠 / 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄
Youngkyun shifts out of bed as quietly as possible, but his weight lifting off the mattress is unknowingly still enough to stir you from your dreams. You barely blink open your eyes; only just enough to register that your husband has in fact left your side and gone to wash up in the bathroom. You frown before rolling over and closing your eyes, hoping that if you go back to sleep he might come join you again.
You really weren't looking forward to waking up this morning. In a few hours, Youngkyun will leave on a business trip. You don't like to admit how hard the thought of saying goodbye feels. It's only for a week. He'll be back before you know it. But you still hate the ache of separation. It feels unbearable to be apart from him, even if it's only a day or two. Marrying Youngkyun has only made your attachment to him that much worse.
You've gotten quite used to having him around all the time. And you would like to keep it that way. A week apart would have felt like nothing when you were still dating, but after being married for four years, your routines are very firmly set.
You like waking up next to him every morning. You like the hours spent every day in conversation or just quietly being in each other's space. Even if you're not in the same room, the knowledge that he is just a few steps away and living with you in the same house makes you feel warm. You like being able to hug and kiss him whenever you want without having to wait for the "right" moment as you so often did while dating.
You've noticed how much your feelings for him have only grown steadily over the years. You thought you loved Youngkyun as much as was possible when he was your boyfriend, but being able to call him your husband brought a whole new wave of feelings that makes your past seem insignificant in comparison. Youngkyun has taught you to stop overthinking when it comes to him. When you want him, you have learned you are allowed to take without hesitation. Marriage has made you bolder than you ever thought you would be. Even after so many years, your husband is still irresistible to you.
When Youngkyun steps back into the bedroom to get dressed, you quickly notice that he thinks you're still asleep. You find it adorable how he searches through the drawers of the dresser in the dark, trying to find the right pair of pants based on feeling alone. The faint light from the cracked bathroom door illuminates the side of his face to you, and you smile watching him squint as he holds up the chosen pair of pants to the sliver of light to confirm he got the right one.
He's deliberately quiet as he puts them on, still trying his best not to disturb you. If only he turned around, he would realize you're very much awake, and enjoying watching the scene in front of you. Despite the little light, you can still see the curves and contours of the muscles on his arms and back. Your mouth runs dry when he starts looking through his shirt drawer—the light from the bathroom now shining against his back and giving you the perfect view of the ink decorating it.
You reach to turn on your bedside table lamp. The view is simply too good to be wasted by darkness. You want to see him—all of him. Long gone are your shy days, when an extra inch of exposed skin on him would be enough to make you flustered. Marriage has definitely made you bolder.
Your husband freezes at the sudden brightness, immediately turning around to apologize.
"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry, baby. I was trying to be quiet."
Youngkyun's voice is soft and sorry, like you waking up a bit earlier than you had originally planned was an egregious offense. He's always so sweet in the mornings, especially when you're still sleepy. He'll often coax you out of bed with kisses and fresh coffee. You should let him know that the sight of him shirtless is much more effective in getting you awake.
"Turn back around," you mutter simply. Youngkyun's face morphs into one of confusion, but he complies with your request anyway. You sit up, eyes focusing contently on his tattoos again.
The view is much better without the designs obscured in darkness. With the light shining against his back, you can see all the details clearly: the calligraphed text decorating his left shoulder blade, the curl of the wave that envelopes the side of his lower back, and the delicate Hebrew letters the cascade down the line of his spine.
You crawl to the edge of the bed after a moment, immediately deciding you need to be closer to him.
"Why did y—"
Your arms circle his waist, and the rest of his sentence dies before it can reach your ears. Your fingertips are cold against his skin and a shiver runs up his spine at the sensitivity. He should have expected this to be your motive, but you're usually so sleepy in the morning, you rarely ever make any moves before you've had a cup of coffee. He assumed today would be the same. He should have known you'd be extra clingy before he goes away.
"How are you so…" you trail off, breath hitting his back as you exhale. You still hold his waist with one hand, keeping him close. Your other now rests against his upper back, tracing the letters of the word "strength" on his shoulder blade.
"So what?" Youngkyun prompts quietly. His voice is slightly raspy, like your sudden forwardness knocked the air out of him and he's still trying to recover. On any other day, his question would be smug and teasing, but you note desperation in his voice to know your answer.
"…perfect," you complete, whispering it against his skin. Your lips find the middle of his back, right where the center of his tattoo is.
Your kiss is much warmer than your fingertips were, but goosebumps spread across his skin just the same as you trace down his spine slowly. So slow, like you're teasing him with it. You enjoy noticing the little reactions he gives you. A quiet sucked in breath, his hand coming to hold your wrist at his waist, his eyes fluttering shut because the feeling of you worshipping him like this is nearly overwhelming.
Youngkyun is quite used to giving you attention like this—slow and so very intimate that it feels like you're the only two people in the world. The moments you return it to him are rarer. You like being bold with him, but seldom are you so deliberate in teasing him. You've always been impatient. You'd much rather devour him than spend the time slowly savouring. Things move quickly with you most of the time, but Youngkyun has a feeling this will linger for a while, and he doesn't mind that thought.
Your hand on his waist can't help exploring a little higher, feeling out the soft skin on his abdomen and travelling up to his firm chest. Youngkyun stays still, leaning in to your touch while his other hand intertwines with yours. He gives it a squeeze like it might ground him and keep him sane for a little longer, but when you gently nip his skin, he's thrown fully back into a daze of wanting and you.
When you turn him around to face you again, the expression you wear makes him breathless. You seem so mesmerized by what you see—eyes wandering over every corner of his exposed skin like you're admiring a work of fine art. When your eyes flit up to his face, he can barely hold himself back from pouncing on your lips. Four years of marriage has done nothing to quell his desire for you. It's still as heavy and consuming as ever.
He both loves and hates that fact. How is he possibly going to survive leaving you in three hours? It's the last thing he wants to do, especially when you're looking up at him so intently, still-sleepy eyes drinking in the sight of him. You pull him forward by the waist and press a determined kiss against his stomach, just above his belly button.
"Am I being dramatic? I don't think I can survive without you for a week," you say seriously, dispersing your words with more kisses against his bare skin. He takes a slow, controlled breath in, furrowing his brow and trying frantically to find a sliver of self-control left in his being. If he doesn't, he knows that his flight will get cancelled within the next hour because it is impossible to not give in to you.
"It'll go by quickly, I promise." His words don't sound confident, even to him. Your arms tighten around his figure. "I'll call you every night."
"The bed will still be empty."
"I'll make it up to you when I'm back," he promises softly, although his eyes are already drowning in regret at having to wait that long. His palm cups your cheek, thumb caressing your skin gently. You know the touch is an attempt to switch the mood; calm the fervor that is quickly consuming both of you, and get back to the regular schedule. Because having you tempt him to stay home was not part of the plan, and you both know exactly how effective you can be in swaying him.
You know you should go along with him—accept a hug for a minute or two and then let him go. You know you're only making it harder for him, and you should feel sorry for it. But… you don't. You can't. This morning, you don't want to say goodbye. You don't want to let him get dressed and then send him off. You don't want to wait another week before being in his arms again. You want to be selfish, even if it's irrational.
You decide to test which is stronger: Youngkyun's self control or your ability to make him break.
You pull him down by the back of his neck, lips finding their place against his like a lock and key; made for one another. You know he could resist easily—pull away and tell you he really can't—but you're satisfied when you find him kissing back immediately. He's already giving in.
You turn him onto the bed, his back hitting the mattress and you finding your way on top of him in one smooth motion. The kiss breaks for a moment as he finds his hold on your waist. You can tell from that look in his eyes that he knows letting you do this is irresponsible. Yet… he's never found you hotter than right now. He's breathless already. He was already worked up from your kisses on his back minutes ago. Having your lips is a final breaking point. He feels desperate, almost delirious.
You quite enjoy this power you hold. A few simple kisses are enough to get him like this every time. Your fingertips smooth over his eyebrow and down his cheekbone. His breath stays uneven, chest rising and falling underneath your other hand pinning him down. He looks at you like you are the center of his entire world.
You can see his tattoos peeking around his waist. Your hand draws down his chest, warm skin flushed under your touch. When you reach his waist, you mark along the ink again. You could stay here for ages, tracing every line of black on his body, leaving your own marks along the designs.
He pulls your attention back before you can get lost in it again.
He kisses you like waiting another moment would have been unbearable. It's no longer slow or gentle. There's no time left for teasing or careful admiration. This kiss is messy and desperate, filled with impatience and need.
You can tell that with each passing second that his business trip is getting pushed further and further to the back of his mind until it's barely an afterthought. How could he possibly spare even a second to think about work when you're on top of him like this? Kissing him like this?
"Are you going to regret this later?" you ask breathlessly. The corner of Youngkyun's mouth lifts into a smirk, but his eyes stay soft.
"If I was going to regret it, I wouldn't have let you start."
That answer satisfies you immensely. For the next two hours, Youngkyun finds it impossible to leave the bed. Getting dressed has never taken quite this long before. He can only blame himself for giving in so easily—for being so weak when it comes to you.
He still says goodbye to you at the airport, somehow managing to not be late for his departure time. It's still as hard to let him go as it would have been without your interference. You'll still miss him terribly for the next week, and he'll still find himself as impatient as ever to get back home to you. Even after years, you are still not tired of loving your husband in every possible way.
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