#youthright

[ayman-eckford]

Why do I love comic books? Because their authors often aren't scared to speak about “difficult” and “problematic” topics.

I wasn’t a big fan of Ms Marvel, but I started to like this series more and more while I’m reading it.

At fires it was because of obvious- and not so obvious- anti-Islamophobia messages. And I just liked finely see a Muslim Super-hero.

But “Generation Why” (the second Ms Marvel graphic novel) is the best youth liberationist comic book I’ve ever read.

It’s kind of an allegory.

The main villain Inventor decided to use society's ageistic ideas and make teens under “human batteries”. He understands that adults don’t really care about kids, and that it would be easy to brainwash teens because adults made teens believe that their life does not matter. He created the cult that dehumanizes teens, and many teens volunteered to become part of it because society made them believe that their lives don't matter.

Adults care only for “their own '' kids - like Wolverine was trying to save a Mutant girl because he is mutant himself, but youth problem in general, system problems, doesn’t matter for them.

Sixteen years old American - Pakistani Ms Marvel is fighting with ageist stereotypes in her school and on the streets of New Jersey.

And she tried to destroy the Inventors cult not just by her fists, but on an ideological level.

And at the same time she is in a position in which so many young people find themselves: she has to deal with the mess that the old generation created, she has enormous responsibilities - but couldn’t speak about her problems openly because adults don’t actually care. Most of them - at least her parents - would just restrict her freedom even more in the name of her protection and leave problems unresolved.

Parents would “freak out” if they found out the truth about Ms Marvel because they are “overprotective” - so Kamala Khan has to deal not just with a villian, missing kids and her new superhero abilities, but with her parent’s emotional problems too.

And at the same time people believe that HER generation (or all youth generations) are irresponsible.

Here is the Inventor’s quote, and I think this is the essence of this comic: “The young are seen as a political burden, a public nuisance. They are not considering educating or protecting. They are called parasites, leeches, brats, spawn…

If you used these words to describe any minority but children, it would quite understandable be considered hate speech.

We are [by dehumanizing kids and using them for free energy] simply taking this loathing to its logical conclusion”

P.S.Of course there were some problems and potential triggering stuff like ableist language or the main character trying to justify abusive father. Also it’s not a good book for people who completely hate black humor.

Also it’s a light-style comics styling under some classical comics books. Good for many readers, but not for all.

[ayman-eckford]

Very often people think that if you don’t want to give birth to a child, you hate children.

Even one of our alters Ver.B.A. was thinking like that.

But in reality I’ve often seen quite the opposite situation.

Very often people who really hate children (aka who are abusing children, don't treat them as an equal human being and think that their child is their slave and property) have huge families. Or at least two or three kids.

Because when your kid is just like a free housekeeper or an expensive doll without any personality, it’s not a big deal.

But if you realized that a kid is not a slave who was born to “give you a glass of water when you become old” and even not an android, it’s a huge responsibility.

You have to not just feed a kid, give them a shelter in your flat and look after their medical problems for 18 years.

You need to pay attention to their needs.

You need to understand that a child is a completely separate person with their own values and you can't just change them.

You need to do something with this unhealthy ageist power dynamic when parents have all privileges and children don’t have any rights to decide their fate.

You need to understand that kids don’t ask to be born so they don’t owe you anything in the end!

Maybe this is why many people who would be better parents than the majority of parents don’t have children.

And many parents who hate their firstborn (just because their firstborn is not a robot) decided to have a second child.

Sometimes it’s better just to admit that you are not ready to be a parent yet or maybe you would never be ready, then spoil your child's life.

Also, I like babies. Yeah, they are cute. But I would never have my own baby because I know that I couldn’t handle them.

Maybe one day, if I would have more money and I would become more healthy, I would adopt a child. But certainly not a baby. Only a child who could give me permission to adopt them and who I would accept and like as a person. Because I honestly know that I couldn’t accept any child like I couldn’t accept any stranger.

-Ayman

(Old photo of Ayman and Ayman’s little brother. We like him as a person. We don’t feel sorry that he was born. But we couldn’t handle him when he was a baby).

[ayman-eckford]

“Be who you need when you were younger”

When I first saw this world on Facebook I deeply loved it.

Because it’s one phrase that could characterize literally all my activism.

I became an LGBT activist for younger me, I translated some stuff against islamophobia for younger me, and against antisemitism, and of course I created the first Russian initiative group created by Autistic for Autistic more for younger me than for other people.

Secer years later I find out that I’m part of the Multiple System.

And this phrase became more literal for me. Because I literally have younger versions of me in my System: our tweens Liza and Mowgli and a teen girl Ver.B.A. Well, they are not exactly my copies, but they inherited many characteristics from me.

And now I feel like I really could partly rewrite my past, really could help the younger me, really could make right stuff that my parents and other adults made wrong.

And this is one of the most amazing parts of System experience.

So, now it’s not just my activism, but most of the aspects of my life became based on those words: “be who you need to be when you were younger”.

Maybe I couldn’t change anything for me, but I could for other kids. For my alters. And maybe - just maybe - it would have me recover from my own traumas.

It’s not really easy to be good with your Littles.

Because it’s meant to try to fight inner ageism, try to fight adultistic stereotypes about kids. Because my own childhood just couldn’t be good in a society where children aren't considered real people at all and don't have their own rights.

I need constantly monitoring power dynamics in my System, because as a host and as an adult I have a huge privilege.

I have to check if I treat our Littles as I treat other alters.

And now I want to say that it’s definitely worth it.

https://youtu.be/UJbnLZXh8lU

[ayman-eckford]

TW: child abuse, gaslighting.

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I could be diagnosed with DID/OSDD many years ago, when I was 10-12 years old. When I started to tell my Mum that I heard Ukki’s (one of our alter’s) voice in my head.

Before Ukki became scared that my parents could abuse and “exorcise” us and I was shattered from my System.

I could be diagnosed with Autism when I was... I dunno, 4 or 5? When everyone told my parents how weird I was, and when I started realizing that I’m one weird out. Well, when literally everyone started to say it to me.

But, like my Dad said when I started to realize that I’m Autistic (before my diagnosis from a doctor) that “In the church they will pour holy water on you and would be right”.

And I could live as a trans* person on my life, if my parents..

Well, you already get it.

I hate when people thinks that “children are so reckless, adults know better”. Because I was the one who tried to figured out what’s going on, why I’m not like “normal” people, how I could made my life easier and better.

My parents was the one who used to gaslighting me.

They done the same with my brother, completely ignoring his obvious speech delay in early childhood.

And it’s not just my parents. It’s... so many parents all around the world.

My wife tell me about a girl with cerebral palsy, who’s mother refused to take her to the doctors unless she insisted on it herself and be really persistent.

My friend Nai told me in her interview that they became blind because their parents and teachers ignored their problems with vision. And they also ignored Nai’s chronic pain problems, because “kids don’t have chronic pain”

So ageism system made healthy kids ill, made kids problems with health more server, and force neurodivergent kids live without acceptance and accommodation (and made even mental healthy neurodivergent guys seriously ill).

Kids need the right to go to doctors and ask medical help. Ageism in medical issues is a

clear violation of a Human right to health.

[ayman-eckford]

I hate when someone said that the Littles shouldn’t have access to money. This is ageism! And Systems/Littles already suffered from ageism enough, because most System/Littles are child abuse survivors.

So... just remember. All kids are unique. And all Littles are unique. Many children and many Little are very frugal. More frugal and that adults. So if you couldn’t safe money when you were a kid it doesn’t mean that other couldn’t too. If your Littles couldn’t safe money or buy something good it doesn’t mean that this is correct for other System and/or other Littles.

Just remember. Kids are people. And child alters are people - just like any other alters.

So just look at the skills not just at age. Especially if you doesn’t want to harm and re-traumatize Littles/kids from outside world.

[ayman-eckford]

Trans* kids abuse DID.

System opinion

My personality was splited when parents pressed me to be a girl. Part of me became more “good kind-of-girl” who wasn’t argue, and part of me stay a rebel four years old boy. He was shattered. This is why I could pretend to be a girl for so many years. Because of that splite, because I was dissociated.

And I still hear the voice of that boy in my head. He is my alter and trauma-holder. Some of my old memory about early transphobia are shattered from me, I have partly amnisia and only he could remember it. 

Actually, we were thinking that maybe we started to develop like a multiple system because we doesn’t feel like a girl and we were forced to be a girl”

-Ayman (The host)

——

“Yeah, transphobia could cause DID/OSDD.

When you are a kid and your family don’t accept who you are, it’s difficult. Your whole life in the hands of your family. They could prevent you from calling yourself by a name you prefer or wear the stuff you like or talk about your sense of your body. Legally, they can do with you almost everything. They could even control your access to information. They could make you believe that you are the only one in the world and no-one would understand you. That you don’t have any future and any chance to be who you are.

Every attempt to be yourself could let to humiliation.

Every attempt to make your body more like... “your own” could let to punishment...

So yeah, if you are a trans* kid and dissociative mechanism working with you, you could be splitting because of transphobia. Your whole personality could be torn apart because you, as a whole person, couldn’t survive by just been yourself”

(Mowgli - The Little in our System - with a little help from Lil - our protector)

(Image description: the title on the trans* flag background and Mowgli’s speech on the two white background picture)

[ayman-eckford]

When I was a teen I used to babbled about Rothschild family.

You know, they were my special interests.

So one day I was seating in the train that going from Moscow to Ivanovo and talking nonstop about Rothschilds with my grandpa.

The old lady, (she was sitting in front of me) Interrupted me.

- Oh, what a smart cutty little girl! - she said,- probably you are an excellent student?

You know, she used that sweeeet nasty voice that adults usually use when they talk to babies? But the baby - I mean, me - was a TEEN!

And after that she did something even more disgusting.

- You know, - she said to me. - These Rothschilds are Jews. So they control all governments. In general, Jews are to blame for all the problems of the world. Jews are parasites.

I was really exhausted. I had a strong sensory overload. Only Rothschilds babbling could help me.

But when this women said that “Jew are parasites” I started yelling at her. It was something like:

- How your dare, how your dare, how you dare! My dad is half-Jewish! No, I’m JEWISH! I’m Jewish!

And after that...

The lady looked at me like I had turned into a monster. She just ran away at the other end of the train, far away from us.

And then I had a real meltdown.

I was crying. I was stimming. I was screaming. Screaming some absurd phrases.... something about NLP... something about adults who were using me, manipulating me all the time.

- Just get away from me! All of you!

I hardly understood what was flying out of my mouth after I had a meltdown.

I was so scared!

I was so scared that I was a “parasite” for most Russian people, and I hated myself for not being able to change public opinion. Hated myself for the fact that I’m not such powerful like my favorite Rothschilds!

And I blamed myself for my "excessive emotionality."

- She just has hysteria! She is a psycho!

That was said by this woman who considered me a parasite.

- Behave yourself! You are really like a psiycho.

And that was said by my own grandmother.

Even my grandpa — my best friend — began to blame me for my meltdown.

And I blamed myself too. Many, many months after this case.

But now I don’t blame myself.

I’m just angry. I get angry whenever I remember this incident. I am still angry after all these years.

It wasn’t the only one incident when strangers called me a “parasite” because I’m Jewish. Just the first.

But this particular case made me thinking about how often ableism, ageism and anti-semitism (and racism) can be inseparable.

[ayman-eckford]

There are more and more articles about transgender girls and transgender boys starting publishing.

There are more and more stories that “transgender girls/transgender boys really know what they want”. And it’s really cool!

But what about non-binary trans* kids?

Why trans* and queer community doesn’t talk about us?

Why youth liberationists doesn’t talk about us?

We are exist! WE EXIST!

I knew that because I felt that I am not a boy or a girl when I was 3-4 years old ( despite the fact that didn’t know the word “non-binary” or the word “transgender”)

And now, when I am 23, my feeling has not changed.

So! Stop erasing us!

(Image of a transgender non-binary person near the transgender flag. drawing made for me by my friend: https://vk.com/markryowi_art)